Chapter 26

That hadn't gone at all how I'd expected. I stumbled out of the building and walked aimlessly as I thought over everything he'd said. He'd been my mentor for two years and I had always respected him; valued his opinion. The fact that now, when I had clearly disappointed him, he'd shown only concern and offered guidance, catapulted him to the top of my hero list.

"Hey you!" A set of arms wrapped around me. I hadn't seen Alice approaching, I'd been so lost in thought. "You're looking better today. Did you actually go to class?"

"No. I met with my mentor."

She pulled a face. "And..."

"He's awesome." I couldn't put into words how the fifteen minutes I'd just spent with the man I'd spent thousands of hours with prior had affected me. "Hey, you doing anything now? Wanna get some coffee maybe?"

Alice smiled up at me and put her arm through mine. "I'll buy."

We went off campus, to the place Bella and I often stopped at after work. Alice bought us coffee and I bought us a fruit salad and chicken wrap to share. It felt like my appetite may be returning. "So how are things with my brother?" I asked once we settled at a corner table.

Grinning from ear to ear, she couldn't hide her happiness. "Can I tell you something Edward? I don't know if I should really say it..."

"I'm all about honesty these days Al. If you feel it, say it."

She tilted her head and stared at me for a moment. "For awhile, I wondered if I'd made a colossal mistake with you. One that I'd regret for a lifetime. When we drifted apart, you have no idea how desperately I missed you."

"I missed you too Alice. Honestly," I replied softly.

She shook her head. "No honey, you don't understand." She stopped and played with the lid on her coffee cup. "When I met Em, I liked him. But I wasn't seriously into him until I knew he was your brother. For the first couple of weeks afterwards, you know how I have to analyze EVERYthing..."

"To death!" I grinned.

"Well I wondered if my attraction to him was based on you. You know, you always want what you can't have. It's an age old custom. And then I started pondering fate..."

"Oh Christ!" I groaned. "Here we go with your everloving 'Lady Fate'."

"Did I meet Emmett to be reunited with you or were we always meant to be friends? Hmm."

"Hmm," I agreed.

"I mean, I made a mistake falling for my best friend, a bigger one admitting it. You never admit you like a friend as more than a friend right? Kiss of death!"

I sat in stunned silence. I couldn't have heard what I thought I'd heard. I had to be misunderstanding.

"Shit. I'm gonna blow it again bringing up old history." Alice buried her face and peeked between her fingers to see what level of discomfort she had caused. "I know I freaked you out back then. Thank you for giving me another chance and for not telling everyone that I made an ass of myself."

Not hearing wrong after all. Seems I misunderstood Alice long before now. "There was nothing to tell on your part. It was me. And I did worse than you." No point keeping secrets now. Best to air it all out. "I did confide what an ass I was to a few friends. So there you go."

It was her turn to be stunned. "What are you saying? You know what I'm talking about right? The night I threw myself at you..."

"The night I didn't run."

"But you did! So to speak... you didn't um, follow through. That meant you weren't into me that way so... yeah. That's fine. I got it. It killed me that you couldn't even be my friend after that."

"Alice, you got it all wrong," I chuckled. "I stayed away because I couldn't handle that you weren't into me that way."

"Are you fucking with me?"

Smiling, I shook my head. "Never fuck with your best friend."

"I took that soooo differently a year ago," Alice laughed. "Seriously? You wanted more...with me?"

I hesitated to weigh my options. She had hurt me. Badly. She was now dating my brother, who was completely nuts about her. And I had mega unresolved feelings for her best friend. What would I gain here by being honest? Integrity. I wouldn't be a hypocrite. "Yeah. At the time..." I looked up at her rather than the straw I'd been playing with. "I was pretty crazy about you. I can't believe you couldn't tell."

She looked sincerely stunned. I believed she was speaking the truth. "I didn't have a clue... God! I'm an idiot!"

"Mmm. Two of a kind, you and me."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked softly.

Laughing sarcastically, I ran my hand through my hair. "Because I have this routine, apparently, of falling for girls who aren't done with their old relationship. I'd finally worked up the balls to confess when I ran into you and your ex that day, remember?"

"Of course. The beginning of the end as I recall. But he was my ex...why did you back out?"

"My ego wouldn't allow me to continue, I guess. Hearing you tell another guy I was just your buddy kinda stung. More than stung, actually. I couldn't cope with rejection straight on."

"I'm such an idiot..." Alice buried her face.

"I'd planned...hoped...to be able to keep our friendship, regardless of my bruised ego." I omitted the shattered heart. I think she got the picture by this point. "It was just too much. I'm sorry Al. I took the coward's way out. I never meant to hurt you." I spoke softly, sincerely. This was good. It would be good to have no walls between us.

"I hate that I hurt you! I guess we're even huh?"

I returned her smile sincerely. "Even and still friends. Amazing!"

"Who did you tell? Oh god, tell me you didn't tell your brother!"

"Hell no! Can you imagine the teasing I would've got? No, Jaz knows. And Sam. Jared and Ty kinda knew I was into you but not the details or anything."

"Whew! Okay, that's fine."

"And Bella."

She cocked an eyebrow. "I didn't even tell Bella. And she's never let on that you said anything..."

I couldn't help but grin. Proof of one thing Bella didn't lie to me about. "So, have you determined your destiny? What is fate playing at here Alice?"

She got into her excitable mode. "Okay! This is the best part... I believe that Fate, in all her glory, handed me a full house. I've been given this super hot guy who's a total romantic goofball..."

"No way! Emmett?"

"You don't know that side of him Edward," she giggled. "I'm totally into him."

I smiled sincerely, holding my friend's hand. "You're good for him Al. Lady Fate was right."

"And best of all, being with the big marshmallow has given me my best friend back."

"Guess the old broad is pretty cool after all huh?" I grinned. "When did you determine all of this?"

"When I saw how you are with my other best friend," she admitted with a soft lilt in her voice. "Edward, you two are meant for each other. I know it."

I gave her a sad grin in response. "Yeah. It was pretty great there for awhile."

"Edward, do you factor Bella into your new life plans at all? Is she part of what you want?"

"God..." I laid my head on the table, full of angst. "Never admit you've fallen for a friend remember?" I mumbled beneath my arms.

"Edward...don't be ridiculous. It's blatant that you care about her. Why deny it?"

"Because," I said slowly as I raised my head. "I want her more than any of the rest and it scares the shit out of me."

"Why? Talk it out Edward. It'll help."

"My personal analyst," I smirked.

"Pfft! Whatever. You want her, she wants you. It's not rocket science Mr Rocketman."

I nodded and bit down on my lip. "Alice, promise this stays between us okay?"

"Sure, of course!"

"Promise you won't tell her?" I waited for a nod of agreement. "This whole thing started with her. I was so fucking pissed at her when Jacob wrecked the big weekend. I convinced myself that she had played me. Played us both, actually. I told her I was done with her until she chose one of us. And then my mom started questioning the relationships and I felt stupidly protective of Bella... I lied to my Mom. Well, I let her think that I knew about Jake all along and I didn't care; that I wanted Bella so much I couldn't leave her be while she sorted her old relationship out."

"Sweet," Alice grinned.

"Yeah, except that's when my mom flipped out and ended up letting it slip that I was acting like my father and then I guess she felt stupidly protective of Carlisle and well, all the lies were exposed."

"I guess family is much more than DNA. You're just like your mom. Esme, I mean."

"Aunt Esme?" I smirked.

"Your MOM Esme. And see, you're like your dad CARLISLE too because you weren't being a selfish pig. And you lied too Edward, now that you mention it. You lied to your mom to begin with!"

"I know," I sighed. "I know that. I guess I'm being hypocritical."

"Bella didn't lie to you. She did break up with Jake that weekend she went home after your first falling out. It's been over since then. He knows it too. He just hopes she'll change her mind, you know?"

"I feel so bad for him," I admitted to Alice as well. Damn if I didn't have a soft spot for a kid that I also hated.

Alice crinkled up her nose. "Blah!"

"What's that mean?" I chuckled.

"He's a child. I never liked him with Bella. I mean, he's a decent enough kid, but you two are so right together. He'll get over it. Especially now that he's met the real deal!" She kicked me under the table. "Work on it Edward. This is important. And fixable."

A/N ~ This is merely the beginning of Edward facing his issues head-on. He's got a busy week ahead of him! Keep reading ;) ~ SR