Sorry toannounce, but I do not own the super awesomeness that is Naruto or Harry Potter, the Brat-Who-Lived.
KNT: Everyone! I am glad to see how many of you hate Skeeter as much as I do! Truly amazing. Sadly, I don't want to be charged for murder and I don't want to even think of getting rid of another body, I mean, I don't want to think of getting rid of her body. So, no killing. But you can use this Annoying Skeeter doll and do with it things that could make anyone scared for their live.
Jeido: What do we do with her now?
KNT: You already finished?
Jeido: Like 5 minutes ago.
KNT: Send her to the Prophet for all I care.
Jeido: Muggle mail or Owl mail?
KNT: The one that's cheaper.
Jeido: Kay. Yoru! Safaia! Put her in that box and send her to the Prophet! As a warning!
KNT: Makes me wonder sometimes, how did I came up with such OC.
At the Daily Prophet, the following day. The Main Editor was reading the newest Prophet, while smoking a cigar.
(A.N.: Imagine him looking something like J.J. Jameson from Spider-man)
"How is the selling's doing?" Editor asked.
"Well…fine, but we get both agrees and horrible disagrees regarding the return of You-Know-Who." The accountant answered.
"No worries, once Rita gets back, she'll make them see the truth: He is not back, so Potter lies. By the way, where is Rita? She should have been here by now." Editor took out the cigar.
"We tried to find her, but she isn't found yet. She could be on her way this very moment." Accountant guessed.
"True, maybe she found something good and is tailing it." Editor agreed.
"Sir!" A reporter ran in, "We got a package delivered."
"To who?" Editor got up.
"I don't know. It only says: Daily Prophet." The man panted.
"Show me it." They walked to the said package.
After checking it for any jinxes or pranks, they opened it. They were shocked to see Rita Skeeter. She was barely covered with clothes, all red from blood (A knife still in her right leg calf), hair – horrible mess, eyes darting around like a crazed animal looking for a prey.
"Rita." Editor breathed, she just gave a maniacal cackle.
"What happened to you?" He kneed to see her better. She laughed again: "They say mind shattering will kill me. My glass mind will kill me. The broken glass shall do it. Glass of my mind." She kept on laughing.
"What is she talking about?" Another reporter asked.
"Who did this?" Editor tried to make her focus.
"Spiny black of red shattered my mind. Funny blue made my left arm paralyzed. Green eyes cut me badly. Not that I care. I like the world now." She started to sway like a little kid.
"She lost her mind. Get her to St. Mungos now! Maybe they can help." Editor yelled at his men.
"I don't want help." Rita shook her head, when she started to look in the air suddenly with a glazed look. She took out the knife and slowly started to cut her wrists, while saying in a sing-sang voice: "Everything red must be free, so I must cut my wrists."
"Get the healers!" Editor screamed out, which everyone went to do, "And make a story, with the title: 'Horrible attack on Rita Skeeter! Sanity shattered!' On the double!"
(A.N.: He'll try to make a story out of anything, huh?)
While this happened, Dumbledore talked with the shinobi about this attack.
"I hope you realize that this act was not the wisest to make." Dumbledore looked at them.
"She deserved it." Jeido crossed her hands.
"We just did what anyone wanted to do." Safaia piped in. Yoru did his signature sound/word/syllable in a positive tone: "Hn."
"Agree, I wanted to probably do the same for Rita," Shinobi tilted their heads in surprise, "Well, maybe a less degree of mind/sanity shattering. But still, yes, I would want her to, forgive my language, shut the hell up."
"Oh ho ho ho, Dumbledore-sama. Didn't know you knew muggle cursing." Safaia looked surprised.
"Muggles are interesting, so I must have picked a few words. Nothing comparable to Minerva's dictionary, though." Dumbledore answered.
"Looks like we did a favour for everyone. No evidence left." Safaia clapped her hands from joy.
"True, no evidence,but the witness/victim is still alive and talking." Dumbledore pointed out.
"No need to worry. I made a little mechanism in her mind with my Sharingan." Yoru put his hands in his pockets.
"And that would be…" Dumbledore tried to find out.
"That she will regain her sanity, only if she somehow figures out how to pronounce the words appearing in her mind. If she doesn't do it in the time of 1 week, her mind shatters like glass and her heart will stop beating. In muggle terms: Perfect Crime. No weapons, dead body and no culprit." Yoru explained.
"Won't she figure it out in 1 week?" Dumbledore furrowed his brows.
"Japanese hieroglyphs in kanji? She can't." Yoru was confident.
"Let's hope on that." Dumbledore took some lemon drops and offered to the shinobi. Safaia took some.
"What do you mean by: Rita was attacked?" Umbrige asked.
"That is what I said. She was brought in a big box, beaten up and mentally insane. Now she is in St. Mungos, getting fixed up." The Editor said via fireplace.
"But how?" Umbrige asked.
"I DON'T KNOW!" The editor snapped, "She just was messed up and started cutting her wrists. Who, how or why I don't know!"
"Fine." Umbrige ended the talk, "I'll ask her myself." She then went to St. Mungos.
Only to get screamed at and hit. Skeeter was completely crazy. She first said: 'come closer', then she yelled: 'Don't come near me!', then she began to laugh like a lunatic, after which she asked for a knife, after that she began to call Umbrige 'BFPT' – 'Big Fat Pink Toad'. She couldn't stand it and left.
'If only she could talk like she used to, then I might find out who attacked her.' Umbrige paced around her office. She knew someone attacked her, but there was no spell to make people act like that. So what is it?
A shadow was lurking around the school. This same shadow was looking for something. It wasn't easy hiding during the day, but he had to. Few close calls, but he was doing fine. The school was a maze with lots of traps. Not that they were a problem for him. This school maybe was a maze, but it was actually easy for him to move around. Yeah, there were lots of students, but he knows how to blend in with them, so that he stays invisible. Filch was a bit bigger problem. It was like he knew about his presence and kept following him.
'Maybe I should get rid of him. No, that will be noticeable.' He thought and hid for a while. 'I should wait for the night. After all it is the cover I need.' He disappeared from sight until night fall.
Even though the day was good, Safaia can't help, but feel that something is wrong. Like someone is watching them. Well she has an idea who it is. Only an idea, not actual proof. Still that bothered her: why was he here? The same question spinning in her mind.
"Hey, Safaia! If you finished daydreaming we should think about the best ways of keeping the D.A. secret from Uragirimono." Jeido knocked on her head.
"I wasn't daydreaming!" Safaia exclaimed.
"Looked like daydreaming for me. C'mon." Jeido left the room.
"I wasn't day dreaming, but thinking." Safaia muttered under her breath.
"Little Sa-chan finally learned to think?" Jeido joked.
"Jeido!" Safaia went to tackle with her like little kids. Yoru came out of his room: "Tch, girls." They stopped, looked at each other and pulled Yoru into it.
"Hey! Stop! Oh c'mon!" They began to tickle him.
"Aha! You do have some nerves!" Jeido yelled out.
"Please…stop…please!" He breathed.
"Why?" Safaia asked.
"I said so!" He jumped and tickled them.
"Yoru…Stop…Or else!" Jeido laughed.
"What is going on here?" Umbrige shrieked. They looked at the door, to see her standing.
"I repeat…" "'What is going on here?' We heard the first time." Yoru mocked her.
"So?" Umbrige frowned.
"Only a small friendly tickle session. We haven't done it since our Academy days." Safaia stood up.
"What Aca-oh forget it." Umbrige knew it was hopeless to ask.
"What do you want?" Jeido stood up.
"I was just doing a little check up before my check out in Care of Magical Creatures." Umbrige walked around the class.
"Our class is practically the same as the others." Safaia was next to her now.
"Still, small check up. Just to be sure." Umbrige smiled at them with her revolting sweet smile, making the shinobi grimace. She walked around and looked into every drawer she can open or reach. When she finished she just left the class.
"What a teme." Safaia said.
"I doubt she just did a simple check." Jeido furrowed here eyebrows.
"Search for anything that could allow her listen to us." Yoru said.
After a careful search, nothing like that was found. And they looked everywhere where even bacteria could get in! Still they didn't let their guard down and kept quite, in case of someone listening to them. Knowing something is up, they left to follow her. And they were right.
This day was not the best for Harry. Umbrige just kept appearing out of nowhere, claiming that some extra check up is coming up. If murder wasn't forbid, he would have killed her already. Now she is tailing him to Care of Magical Creatures, with inspection for Hagrid. First, Harry wished that he left Hogwarts grounds. Sure he missed the Half-Giant, but with Umbrige here, he wouldn't have an easy problem, since Sirius told him about Umbrige's hate toward Half-breeds. But he was glad that he was back, after all he was Harry's first friend.
"Welcome to Care of Magical Creatures!" Hagrid came out of his hut, "Let's see. Few Slytherins are missing, but other then that we got a full-house." Hagrid counted. The said Slytherins finally came: Malfoy, his goons and Pansy.
"Sorry, we're late professor, my stomach hurt." Malfoy said that word with venom in his voice.
"Since when do you need your friends to go to the Hospital Wing?" Hagrid raised an eyebrow.
"If a student had to go to the Hospital Wing, he could have been accompanied." Umbrige said. Hagrid just frowned at her. Then he brought out some Trestals for the students to see…well for the ones that could anyway.
"So, raise your hand if you can see them." Few students raised their hands as Hagrid counted, "Bit more then expected. Alrighty, the ones that can't see them ask from the ones that can and try to imagine those in front of you." Hagrid instructed, "Today we shall talk about Trestals. They can be seen by the ones who saw death of someone right in front of them."
"Aren't they dangerous? I recall that the Ministry has forbid any type of breeding Trestals." Umbrige wrote something down.
"Dangerous? They're not dangerous at all. Well, only if you make them mad then they are." Hagrid thought.
"Has…the…liking…for…violence…in…front…of…students." Umbrige wrote down.
"I didn't say that! Now, where was I?" Hagrid tried to remember.
"Has…short…and…un-trustable…memory." She wrote again. The ones, that liked Hagrid, were feeling their tempers going into the 'Danger Zone'. She made a face that said 'Carry on'.
"Now, today we will just try to feed them. Try not to get your fingers hurt. I'll show you how to feed them." Hagrid took some squirrels and gave it to the Trestals. Umbrige was now making trouble by her constant questions.
'She's got more of those, then Hermione.' Ron thought.
And in the end, she ruined class, since Dean yelled at her for being a problem (got detention), and class was finished by Umbrige ending it. Many Gryffindors felt like giving her a piece of their minds, a particular one especially, but didn't.
"Wise choice." Yoru came out of the shadows, startling them, "If you would have said something it would only bring you troubles. Just wait and your patience will be rewarded." He then disappeared.
"How they keep doing that?" Lavender asked, while Parvati could only shrug.
"3 Listening Spells and 4 small bug agents." Safaia threw the now jarred bugs on the table.
"She tried, huh?" Yoru guessed.
"Most possible choice. Too bad for her none of this worked." Safaia took out and crushed one bug.
"What did you expect? She wants us out of here, so she can have complete control over Hogwarts." Jeido pointed out.
"In that case: let's play her game. She wants us out? Only after we kick her out. Permanently." Safaia crushed the rest of the bugs. Jeido and Yoru smirked and nodded.
Here you go! Was Rita insane by your book? She was by mine.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Review!