"John: Combine arms with cake."

Strangely enough, this page seemed to be both integral to Homestuck and a part of the complete nonsense. Sure, people wanted a kick out of fake arms stuck in one of those many, many (two so far) cakes, and yet John, the one in the story, needed that to get the hammer to the strife specibus. The real John sighed, supposing that the event was somewhat hilarious, yet still was struggling to understand the humor of Homestuck, as did everyone else.

...except Caliborn, of course. He didn't give a single fuck about Homestuck, and couldn't even be forced. In fact, it was almost circumstantially guaranteed that he would not be there to witness Act 2, as serious as it was, compared to Act 1.

John looked over the page, then motioned to the next page himself. Caliborn immediately got sick over the endless cornucopia of text, all ending with the word "kind". Therefore, he was the first to comment:

"HOLY SHIT. THAT'S A LOT OF STRIFE SPECIBI."

"You never know what strange object people will try to allocate and use as a weapon for all of eternity." Hussie commented, and added an irrelevant note, this time under his breath, so no one would hear: "(Mine's broomkind.)"

"To each their own, I suppose. I expect something like..." Rose was thinking where she would be in this system, and Hussie knew that. Hussie also knew where Rose was actually in the system, and could practically speak for her, as he did by saying:

"Needlekind."

"What?" Rose did not expect her internal yet vocalized monologue to be interrupted.

"Your strife specibus. Needlekind. Like knitting needles." As if Rose didn't know. She replied with the best snide and sarcastic comment she could come up with:

"I haven't knit in ages." This was a simple factual statement from Rose, and yet people still got confused over it, including John, who said: "really?"

"No point in stopping here. Next page, John." John thus complied with Rose's command, and looked over the page, seeing the hammer being successfully deposited in a green card. He smiled a bit and commented:

"see? these are pages that i need. where the game system actually progresses."

"I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE."

"uh, caliborn? i thought i want nothing to do with you?" Of all people, John expected Caliborn to respond to him the least.

"WHY NOT, ZOOSMELL?"

"well, to begin with, sentences like this." John couldn't take more of being called Zoosmell Pooplord, and further "progressed" Homestuck, hoping that characters other than him would become playable soon.

However, the next page showed no luck. It was just another pesterlog between John and Dave, which apparently was short and to the point.

"HEY. THESE PESTERLOGS ARE GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER. MAYBE HOMOSuCK ISN'T THAT BAD AFTER ALL."

Hussie just laughed like a complete dork and/or maniac. "You ain't prepared, buddy."

"OF COuRSE I'M NOT PREPARED FOR HOMOSuCK. IT'S JuST THAT YOu'RE FORCING ME."

"Everyone already knows that I'm forcing you. Now, let's get to the next page." Hussie clicked, and John immediately squinted at the sight of that pink and girly inventory system from hell based on data structures that he could never master in a lifetime.

"I bet Dave would get a kick out of the fact that you're so intent on occupying every single captchalogue card." Rose wanted to form the impression that her friends are here.

"not funny. i would really love to have the ender chest... i mean the array modus."

"So you could combine it with the Queue and the Stack to produce an Array of Queuestacks modus?" Hussie really needed to learn to somehow keep the spoilers down.

"what?"

"Let's face it, Stack and Queue still have their advantage since they shoot stuff out."

"this has nothing to do with convenience." John couldn't believe he was arguing over fictional inventory systems.

"Yes, it does. What if you need to attack something and you lose your trusty hammer?"

"oh my god, i just realized. i will be stuck with hammers forever? "

"Your observations continue to be groundbreaking." Rose replied sarcastically as Hussie and John both gripped their hands on the computer mouse, clicking on the next page, showing the magazine GameBro, which John squinted at. "you mean this magazine exists in your universe?" he immediately asked.

"Haha, I can't believe that stupid concepts like that actually exist." Hussie really needed to get an issue of GameBro some time. It could be any issue.

"no, it's true! with it, dave got into the only game he ever plays."

"You mean that Minecraft thing?"

"well, yeah. apparently it's full of blocks and looks lame at a first glance. but then you REALLY get into it, and can build amazing stuff, as i've seen on the internet."

"What, did you think I had no intel on Minecraft?" Well, that was part truth. Hussie did know that Minecraft exists, but heard nothing about this amazing stuff being built. To him, it still felt like goofing around, but then again, goofing around was what Homestuck felt like to its new readers, even though amazing stuff such as the new planets and trolls was right in their face.

"I thought you didn't have time for things like this?" Rose wanted to join the conversation, but quickly realized it would have been much better if she simply kept the responses to herself.

"but you didn't know the ender chest." John felt the need to argue with his creator, because the matter did not concern him as a person or as a character.

"Well, obviously I'm all about MY OWN fantasy game, and could tell you all about it. But let's face it, GameBro could tell you about it much better."

"whatever this game bro thing is, it sure sounds like a joke." John thus sighed and clicked to see what he didn't really want to see, but what was part of Homestuck, so John really had to just suck it.