Wow. You guys are amazing and lovely. Thank you to everyone who has offered support and made such kind comments. It was tough for me to come back, I was worried that no one would remember my story. But I wanted to finish it and making myself write again was a really big milestone for me.
You have no idea how much it means that so many of you remembered my story and were still interested enough to read it. It was so motivating and up-lifting, I was inspired to write another chapter and have so many ideas for new stories once this one is done.
So, Thank you, really — thank you.
Also, I must say, I am amazed by the boost of stories that have been appearing since the finale. It is so awesome! I love that this show's fanbase is so passionate and invested in the characters, it is a wonderful sort of community to be a part of.
...
Chapter 26
We're a Team
...
With expertise drawn from years of experience, Weller headed his team as they infiltrated the main building of the compound. The Sandstorm soldiers were well-trained and highly skilled — he would give them that, but with Roman's insider knowledge it had been a solid entry. Within an hour, the building had been cleared and his team was securing hostages and preparing to re-evaluate and provide assistance.
"Weller, are you clear?" Patterson's voice filtered through the comms.
"Clear, Patterson. No casualties on our team. The main building is clear, we are going to assist in securing the rest of the compound before scouring the surrounding area."
"Good, that's good," Patterson stalled, "uhm."
Kurt halted at her hesitant tone, "Spit it out, Patterson."
"Jane's there — well not there exactly, she sort of smuggled herself into the convoy and she is tracking Shepherd to a potential secondary rendezvous point west of the compound… by herself," Patterson's voice petered out awkwardly into silence.
Kurt tried to regulate his breathing but all he could hear was blood roaring in his ears. Damn it, Jane. No team, no back up and she was not at full capacity — how could she be so stupid to go after Shepherd on her own? Why couldn't she just listen for once in her life? She was trying to get herself killed — and he was going to kill her himself for reckless endangerment before he was going to let that happen.
He growled with urgency, "Is she available on comms?"
"No… she turned them off," Patterson's wince was almost audible.
"Give me the coordinates. TEAM! We're moving west outside the compound. Move!"
Rattled by the anger in his voice, Patterson rambled, "Well, the location was sort of vague… I found an outlying building on a satellite image that could be it… I'm like 80% sure it's the right place but…"
"Patterson!"
"You know what, I'm going to just send that to you, no problem. Great. Perfect. Okay then. Just let me know —"
"—Thanks, Patterson."
The soft glow of the morning sun was warming the sky as Weller stealthily trekked through the woods. He could hear the faint gurgle of a stream and the shadow of a barn-like building up ahead. Using hand signals, Kurt cued the team to fan out into formation and surround the building.
No windows were visible and there were only two points of access on each end of the building. In the quiet woods, the shadowed structure emit no sounds of an altercation and Kurt's straining ears heard no shots fired as they closed in on the location. Kurt prayed that the silence did not hint towards a horrific scene within. Steeling himself, he gave the signal to open the door. Sunlight collided with the ambient lighting within the well-stocked building but Kurt's eyes were searching for only one thing — signs of life.
"Kurt?" Jane's voice rasped and Kurt felt a vice loosen from around his heart. There! She was sitting against the wall with Roman's head cradled in her lap. He immediately assessed the scene - signs of a struggle but no obvious pools of blood. Both Jane and Roman appeared conscious and lucid, all good signs.
Kurt fell to his knees in front of her. Ignoring the attention of his team, Kurt ran his eyes furtively over her body and pressed his hand against her cheek. Satisfied that he could find no blood or serious injury he finally trusted his voice to speak, "Are you okay?"
"We're fine, Shepherd shot Roman in the plates and got away. I got here a few minutes after — she has about a 15 to 20 minute head-start," Jane's breathes were shallow and speaking laboured — her ribs were probably giving her hell.
Kurt gave commands for the team to search the surrounding area for Shepherd as well as to assist Roman back to the compound for a medical assessment. Jane made to follow her brother but Kurt tugged her back. He wrapped his arms around her tenderly and pressed a kiss to her forehead — final assurance that she was safe before he let his guard down.
"What were you thinking," he ground out and pulled back from her, scraping together a veneer of his Assistant Direction authority. Through intense concentration he kept his hands at his sides. "You were reckless! You disobeyed my orders! You cannot take those risks lightly, we are a team. It is not your call! I should suspend you — do something like that again and I will fire you!"
Jane tightened her jaw and crossed her arms, "I'm not sorry. You couldn't seriously imagine that I would let you do this without me. After everything — really, Kurt, what would you have done if you were me?"
"Exactly the same thing." But that didn't mean that they weren't going to discuss this at length, later.
…
...
Physically, Roman healed quickly from the compound takedown. Emotional recovery was a different story. He joined Jane and the FBI because he doubted his mother's mission, but that didn't mean that deep down he didn't still care about her — she was the only mother he remembered and she had been a big part of his world for two decades.
He couldn't kill her and, honestly, never thought that she would be able to kill him either — and yet she shot him… in the heart.
Those final moments haunted and drove Roman to new levels of obsession when it came to eliminating Sandstorm for good. He channeled his feelings of betrayal, anger, and frustration into finding and stopping Shepherd. He consulted and took point on the remaining efforts to ensnare every facet and faction of the organization with painstaking diligence. He was going to cut his mother off at the knees until she was forced to come crawling back or retreat into the darkest hole she could find.
The physical work and ability to see progress in each case brought satisfaction but didn't heal the emotional and psychological breach brought on by changing sides. Roman suffered a crisis of identity — who was he apart from Shepherd? Jane's new life forced him to view his past with new eyes. He felt guilt for his past crimes and the desire for redemption. He felt victimized by Shepherd and yet empowered by her education. He was most comfortable in roles of violence and lashed out often when emotionally conflicted.
Minor understatement — his new therapist was having a field day.
He clung to his soldier persona, throwing whole self into proving himself invaluable to the FBI - both for his sister's sake as well as his own. He defined himself heavily by his role as Jane's brother. Like the blind leading the blind, Jane helped him negotiate the terrain of the FBI office while he coaxed out her childhood narratives and history. Jane helped him move into her safe house and he became her permanent sparring partner (unflinching in his duty to get her back to her original, ruthless abilities).
Jane and Roman still had roles to play beyond tracking Shepherd. As a consultant, Roman was proving invaluable to decoding the remainder of Jane's tattoos. The artwork not having lost its inherent ability to aid the country.
Roman took huge amounts of pleasure in pointing out corruption left and right; his passion to reform the country unblemished by the stain of Sandstorm's darkness. On that point, he was unable to shake Shepherd's indoctrination. He firmly believed that his country needed restoration. His fervour was abrasive, but the team had grown to respect his skills and overlook his gruff exterior… and they were working on taming his violent tendencies.
…
...
2 Weeks later
Despite the setback caused by Jane's efforts to join Sandstorm's compound breach, Jane was finally getting back into form. Roman was a drill sergeant (which sometimes made her want to strangle him in his sleep) but she appreciated the discipline and threw herself into recovery.
The two of them were a sight to behold. Like dancers, their movements had the fluidity of partners who had trained together forever - and yet the ferocious and aggression of fighters unwilling to pull punches for each other. Unsurprisingly, it was during and after these training sessions where Jane and Roman felt most at ease with each other and their tentative bond strengthened in leaps and bounds.
With Roman's help, Jane had finally been cleared for active duty. She had eagerly anticipated joining the team on their latest tattoo-related mission; this time taking down a ring mercenaries. Before she could suit up, however, Kurt had relegated her to assist Patterson from the NYO office.
She had been benched. Again.
Jane listened over comms as her brother, her boyfriend and her friends infiltrated the building and faced heavy gunfire. She listened with escalating horror and frustration as the mercenaries mounted a counter-attack. The gunfire over the speakers had been chilling and terrifying as she waiting in rapt silence for the voices of her family to indicate their survival.
Jane hated it. Hated it.
Crescent shaped grooves dug into the flesh of her palms as Jane clenched her fists in order to keep her emotions grounded.
She should be there… she was meant to be there… they needed her. Enough of waiting uselessly to the side while she waited for someone' else's permission to join the fight. It was ridiculous bureaucratic nonsense. No more.
Once the team had indicated a return back to the building, Jane squared her shoulders and walked rigidly to Kurt's office fighting the urge to pace. She had a plan. She was going to remain calm and rational; if she gave into her frustrations the conversation would devolve into an emotionally charged personal tirade — something she (unfortunately) knew from experience. This needed to stay professional. Well, as professional as it could be when your boyfriend was your boss.
When the team returned, Jane watched them through the glass walls with barely disguised relief. Kurt was the first to sense her gaze and give a smile in greeting. When Jane's expression remained resolute, his grin faded into a frown. He split from the group and walked determinedly towards his office ignoring the team's curious stares.
The door swung closed with a delicate whoosh enclosing the pair in a bubble of silence.
"I need you to let me do my job, Weller." Jane voice carried in the quiet but she kept her tone moderate.
"In what way am I preventing you from doing your job?" Kurt narrowed his eyes and faked obliviousness, a lie, since he was well-aware of where this was heading.
Jane stopped just short of rolling her eyes, "Don't insult us both by hedging the issue. Why won't you let me back into the field. Are you punishing me for going against your orders at the Sandstorm take down?"
Kurt cast his eyes heaven-ward with a silent prayer for tactfulness before he levelled her a penetrating stare, "Jane, I hardly think that a high-stress volatile op was the best time to throw you back into the field—"
"—I have to start somewhere," Jane interrupted her eyes sparking with suppressed exasperation. "I didn't have any issues joining the last Sandstorm mission. Besides, all our missions are dangerous; there is never going to be safe case to start with."
"I am the lead agent. It is my responsibility to decide when you are going to rejoin this team in the field." Tactfulness be damned he opted to cut her argument down with rank instead.
Jane was quiet for a second as she struggled to maintain a facade of professionalism but her voice came out low and loaded. "You don't think I can handle it? Seriously? If our past experience doesn't speak for itself, you have paperwork on your desk from the doctor, the physical therapist and Borden. I'm cleared — I am ready."
"I know you feel ready, Jane. I'm just asking you to be reasonable and let me decide when we are ready to make that adjustment."
"We or you?" Jane's tenuous grip on her professional veneer was slipping, "If you have any doubts on my capability please explain them and I'd be happy to disprove all of them. I'd even be thrilled to give you a personal demonstration in the training room. I have re-certified in every weapons test and annihilated everyone in hand-to-hand combat — including you!"
…
The rest of the team was spectating through the glass walls. Sipping coffee, they exchanged amused glances as they watched their boss and their friend hash out their argument. Weller and Jane were trying to keep it low key but the barely perceptible murmur of their voices through the glass was rising… and their gestures were becoming sharper and more aggressive. The ultimate pantomime.
"Weller looks uncomfortable and Jane has her angry face on — she might have him on the ropes." Reade squinted through the glass.
"Don't underestimate Weller when Jane is involved," Tasha drawled.
"Shhh, I'm trying to read their lips," Patterson flapped her hands in from of their faces to hush them, "She either said "You don't think I can handle it" or "Your goat thanks I bandaid.""
"Please," Zapata snorted, "We all saw her face when Weller assigned her to desk duty today. She's pissed because he still won't let her out in the field; it's been a couple days since she was cleared and she is chomping at the bit. He is so in the doghouse."
Roman shifted awkwardly as the team dissected every gesture and word that they could parse from their limited view. Every team had a dynamic and he was still trying to navigate this one; it didn't make it any easier when his sister was the topic of discussion.
"We should give them their privacy," Roman tried to circumvent their attention, "If we start our paperwork early that gives us more time for tonight." He was of course referring to the get-together Jane was hosting at her place to thank everyone and help welcome him into the team.
Reade and Patterson gave him mixed looks of sheepish guilt and amusement but Tasha merely gave him a shove towards the office door, "Are you kidding? If they're fighting, there might not be a party tonight — they need third party diplomacy and I am nominating you. Now, get in there and get us details."
…
As Roman prepared to enter the room, both Jane and Kurt were walking a fine line of emotional defensiveness as Jane pushed for official approval and Kurt tried to shut her down.
"All I'm saying, Jane, is that there is no harm in starting slow. Do you have any idea what would happen to this team if something happened to you, again!" Roman knocked at the door and Weller waved him inside with relief. Roman was as protective of Jane as he was and Kurt welcomed the potential backup of an ally, "Roman, reason with your sister she trying to throw herself headlong into danger."
Jane raised her finger warningly and pierced Roman with a icy look, "Don't even think about it little brother or you will be walking to work for a month."
Roman mentally slapped himself for following Tasha's goading — this was like stepping into a hornet's nest. He understood both Jane's confused frustration as well as the reasons behind Weller's overprotective measures. But there were obvious dangers associated with siding against his currently volatile sister or his team leader with whom he still had a difficult working relationship.
Roman was rarely the level-headed one in any situation — usually Remi was the decision-maker under pressure. The hat of diplomacy sat uncomfortably on his head as Roman started with Jane, "Well, big sister, as formidable as you are — this team worries about you a lot. From what I've seen they have spent months watching your slow recoveries and set-backs; it's hard for them not to see you as fragile. Now think about that tactically. Can this team work at its best capacity if they are crippled with the liability of unnecessary concerns? We both know there is no room for that in a situation that requires split-second decisions."
Jane bit her lip. She grudgingly accepted his rationale, she may feel fully recovered but she worked with a unit — a team had to be cohesive to be effective. Perhaps she hadn't factored in the emotional baggage of her recovery. Still, trust could only be built through time, practice and awareness — keeping her out of the field would not help anything.
"Thank you, Roman," Weller crossed his arms a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, sensing victory, "That is exactly what I have been trying to explain."
Roman raised his eyebrows at Weller and turned the tables, "And yet, Weller, we both know that keeping Jane out of the field will only obfuscate the problem. We both know how Jane hates to stand aside when she sees people she cares about in danger. My sister knows her limitations — she's your best asset, she is ready and you can't keep holding her back."
"No, you can't." Jane placed her hands determinedly on Kurt's desk, sensing a victory of her own.
Kurt frowned at the siblings, "I know you're strong, Jane, but that is cold comfort when I think that the last time you were ready to go out into the field you were taken by Keaton."
"I'm ready, Kurt — you can't hide me here forever.
"She's a soldier — besides," Roman grimaced and rubbed his shoulder painfully, "she's beaten us all without exception and, I don't know about you but, I am no longer willing to be a punching bag."
Kurt bit back a chuckled and the two men shared a silent inside joke.
Jane's eyes flitted back and force as she watched Roman talk to Kurt. It was strange — the two started out barely communicating with each other and grudgingly cooperating. Every mission had been a tug of war as Kurt tried to exert control over her brother and in return Roman fought his instincts to rebel against FBI instruction.
She had been their only point of commonality. In the beginning the only thing that had found to agree on besides ending Sandstorm, was the importance of her healing and safety; it was annoying really.
But from that had grown a strange partnership and reluctant teamwork as they worked together to take down Sandstorm and help her through recovery. She had relished the moments where they cooperated even as she chafed at the restrictions they tried to impose. But, fascinated, she watched as the tentative trust between them grew.
"As fun as it is to watch you two bond, it is annoying when you talk about me right in front of me."
"You're right, Jane, I'm sorry." Kurt took a deep breathe, "I will take your arguments into consideration and we will figure out a game plan to bring you back into fieldwork."
The answer was vague and placating. It was not the answer Jane wanted. Through clenched lips Jane smiled thinly, "Thank you for your consideration I look forward to discussing it with you in detail, until you concede defeat." She stood and turned back to her brother, "Are you still up for tonight, Roman?"
Roman reined in his smile — tonight was now full of potential entertainment, "Sure, sis — wouldn't miss it."
On her way out the door, Jane tossed back, "Kurt, you're still invited too."
Unable to hold back the chuckle at Kurt's wince, Roman laughed, "I tried, Weller. You didn't really think you could stick her on desk duty forever and she wouldn't fight you on it, did you? Good luck, man."
Kurt shook his head, "She can't hate me forever— without me, all the guests would starve. I'm the one doing the damn cooking!"
…
So my story is almost done. I have left Shepherd unresolved because I loved this story and am interested in keeping it open for a potential sequel if I ever get a good idea for it.
I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter - especially the bit of levity at the end (too much fun to write).
…
I have once again tallied the votes — it looks as though the story that the most people are interested in is….
3. Kurt is forced to make a choice between the lives of Jane and Nas. Jane is well—aware of where she stands with the team and refuses to be the reason that someone else dies. An alternative version of winter finale
THANK YOU to everyone who voted. Because it was INCREDIBLY close (literally like a 2 vote difference in both chapters of voting) and so many readers showed an interest in option 1 as well, I am going to attempt to write these stories simultaneously (with priority to the winning story). I also have received a brainstorm for a few one-shots following the most recent finale. So hopefully that will give everyone something (interesting?) to read in the future.
…
Out-takes?
Also, on my previous story I found that writing "out-takes" was a fun way of filling out and finishing a story. I would be completely willing to add out-takes to this story. As you guys were reading, were there any scenes you wished I had written or any potential out-take ideas?