Disclaimer: So in this chapter, there's a lot of fudge up shiz.
Me: A lot.
Disclaimer: I mean, Samantha demented the characters so much, it'll leave you going "what the hell?".
Me: It might.
Disclaimer: And I doubt S. Meyer would do that to her own characters.
Me: Exactly.
Disclaimer: Samantha doesn't own the Twilight saga.
Screen names:
MsFallsAlot – Bella
DoIDazzleU – Edward
ICanCU – Alice
IxFeelxYou – Jasper
SoHawt – Rosalie
HearMeRoar – Emmett
DrShizzle – Carlisle
RUMyMommy – Esme
OffTheLeash – Jacob
SuPaStArSaM – Samantha, Me
HearMeRoar has entered the chatroom.
SoHawt has entered the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: Honey! You actually logged in!?
SoHawt: *grumbles* Yeah.
HearMeRoar: I'm so glad, then we'll get to play!
SoHawt: I'd rather not play, I suck at games.
HearMeRoar: Oh don't be such a Bella.
SoHawt: Do NOT even compare me to that clumsy f*cking bitch!
HearMeRoar: Put away the claws, babe.
SoHawt: *glares* Fine, I'm prettier right?
HearMeRoar: Absolutely. Now can we play?
SoHawt: What are we playing?
HearMeRoar: We're role playing!
SoHawt: We do that in the bedroom, Em.
HearMeRoar: Nah, this isn't sexual role play. This kind of role playing is just for fun.
SoHawt: ...
HearMeRoar: Okay, I'm going to be Hans Solo and you can be Princess Leia-
SoHawt has left the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: -Another time then...
MsFallsAlot has entered the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: Bella?
MsFallsAlot: Aha! I found you, you little mother-
HearMeRoar: No, that was one time and Esme was really sexually frustrated.
MsFallsAlot: *stunned* Um, wow, Emmett.
HearMeRoar: Too much?
MsFallsAlot: Yeah.
HearMeRoar: Then I would just tuck that little nugget away in that head of yours.
MsFallsAlot: Will do.
HearMeRoar: So why am I a motherf*cker?
MsFallsAlot: Oh yeah.... YOU PUT JUICE IN MY FRIDGE!
HearMeRoar: *Jedi Mind Trick* I didn't put the juice in your fridge.
MsFallsAlot: You didn't put the juice in my fridge.
HearMeRoar: I'm a sexy beast.
MsFallsAlot: You're a sexy beast.
HearMeRoar: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
MsFallsAlot: These aren't the- Wait, what the hell!? This isn't Star Wars.
HearMeRoar: Look, I thought you'd just appreciate some juice.
MsFallsAlot: Well you thought wrong. I don't like juice.
HearMeRoar: Really? Because Alice said something about fruit cocktails.
MsFallsAlot: Um, yeah I dunno about that.
DoIDazzleU has entered the chatroom.
DoIDazzleU: Oh thank... Satan?
ICanCU has entered the chatroom.
ICanCU: Yeah, I dunno on that one.
DoIDazzleU: Bella! I'm so sorry!
MsFallsAlot: *ignores* I'm still waiting for an apology, Emmett.
HearMeRoar: Then waiting you shall do, because I'm not apologizing.
DoIDazzleU: Oh c'mon, Em. Just apologize!
HearMeRoar: No, I was sweet and brought Bella some juice because I heard she wasn't feeling well.
DoIDazzleU: *over protective mode* What's wrong!? Are you sick!? Did you hurt yourself!? Is it the *deep scary voice* Influenza?
MsFallsAlot: Somebody please stop his worrying! Alice get *theme music* Jasper the Emotion Man!
ICanCU: You got it, boss. *scampers off*
MsFallsAlot: Such a doting squirrel-ly midget.
IxFeelxYou has entered the chatroom.
IxFeelxYou: WHAT THE HELL!? This "force"-
HearMeRoar: *starts humming the Star Wars theme*
IxFeelxYou: -that keeps pulling me into this chatroom is creepy.
ICanCU: Wow, you're already here, Jasper! I thought I was going to have to persuade you with Edward porn- oh my god, Bella Swan! I am not a squirrel-ly midget!
DoIDazzleU: You still have that stuff?
ICanCU: It's vintage.
MsFallsAlot: Jasper, please make Edward quit worrying and if you could make Emmett guilty, he needs to apologize.
IxFeelxYou: What's in it for me?
MsFallsAlot: Edward.
IxFeelxYou: Are you f*cking me?
MsFallsAlot: I wish.
IxFeelxYou: What?
MsFallsAlot: Yes, you'll get Edward.
DoIDazzleU: What? You can't just do this to me! I'm not your property!
MsFallsAlot: Shut up, my bitch!
DoIDazzleU: *bows head* Yes, pimp master.
HearMeRoar: Whoa, I think I'm in some weird fantasy world... is this Hell?
IxFeelxYou: *ignores Emmett* Deal! *spits on hand and presses it to the monitor*
MsFallsAlot: Eh...
IxFeelxYou: Do it.
MsFallsAlot: But-
IxFeelxYou: DO IT!
MsFallsAlot: *licks hand and presses it to monitor* Deal.
IxFeelxYou: Woohoo! It's been a fun Alice, but now I can go gay again! Yeah! I'm going to go break out my hair extensions. Come along, Eddie-kins!
IxFeelxYou has left the chatroom.
DoIDazzleU: *mouths call me to Bella's screen name*
DoIDazzleU has left the chatroom,
ICanCU: *glares at Bella's screen name* YOU BITCH! JAZZY-POOOOOOO! *dry sobs*
ICanCU has left the chatroom.
HearMeRoar: Wow. I so was going to apologize, but now I realize that you're really just a bitch.
MsFallsAlot: It's because I'm on my period.
HearMeRoar: Note to self: Do not trust something that can bleed for seven days and not die.
HearMeRoar has left the chatroom.
MsFallsAlot: ... I wonder if we've got some chocolate around here...
MsFallsAlot has left the chatroom.
Review/Fav/Alert. It's all appreciated(;
And thank you, my lovelies.
You guys are great!
PS: Gonna keep trying to update every weekend, we'll see what happens though.
-Sam