I may have hit a rut in quality, but it's the best I got for now.
I do not own anything within this fan fiction. All rights belong to Andrew Hussie.
Warning, may contain Out of Character moments.
And there was everyone, all holding their putters and ready to play. But first…
"Rose! How come you're late slow poke? You left earlier than me." Roxy asked teasingly. "Well simply put, our bus broke down and all of us had to wait until it was fixed." Rose answered. "You were all on the same bus? What are the odds?" John asked with a slightly surprised tone. "I know. But God damn it, that was the best damn bus ride in all of history. We were like rock stars dropping the noise and beats as if there was no tomorrow. It was practically Party Bus 2015." Dave replied. "That sounded awesome, wish I was there." John commented. "So Dave, you got us all here. Now what?" Terezi asked.
"We play golf. But since there is so many of us, I decided that, we should play in teams. Here is how it works, we pair up with someone and decide who will play the first hole. And from that point on, we switch between who plays each hole. For example, if I play the first, Jade will play the second, I play the third, and so on. Now... Pair up!" Dave explained before everyone began scrambling around. "So you ready to own some face partner?" Roxy asked as she stood right next to John. "Probably. I mean I'm good, but the last time we played together, Terezi just owned all of us." John replied. "Every time I hear something new about that girl, it just seems like it comes right out of a fiction story of sorts. But, here we are, in reality land ready to play a miniature sport." Roxy said. "Yeah, it's really surprising what Terezi could do despite being blind. So, if we lose to team Terezi, it's not going to be that surprising." John replied. "So does everyone have a team mate?" Dave asked. "I still don't have anyone." Jane replied. "Okay, whoever doesn't have a partner, raise your putter." Dave said loudly.
And so one putter was raised, and everyone parted to see that it was… Gamzee. "Oh no, please don't make me team up with him. Anyone but him." Jane begged. "Hey, what the fuck is your problem with Gamzee!? He's as normal as anyone of us! I mean look at him!" Karkat said loudly before pointing at Gamzee, who was picking his nose using one end of the putter. No one said anything as he extracted it out of his nose, leaving a trail slimy, purplish mucus from his nose to the handle. "Shit man, I made a real mess right here." Gamzee said to himself before pulling out a handkerchief and began cleaning up. "Okay, he's mostly normal. But that still doesn't mean is in incapable of being your partner for this fucking game. So just suck it up and play." Karkat continued. "Fine… But I'm not going to like it…" Jane grumbled. "Don't you worry my lady friend, leave this to good old, mother fucking Gamzee. I'll sink them balls like shit going down the toilet, it'll be beautiful." Gamzee said with a very relaxed tone. "Thank you for sharing that with me…" Jane replied sarcastically. "No problem. Now kick this fucking game off Strider!" Gamzee replied.
Before doing that, let's look at the teams that have been assembled.
John and Roxy, Dave and Jade, Rose and Kanaya, Jane and Gamzee, Dirk and Jake, Karkat and Terezi,
Aradia and Sollux, Tavros and Vriska, Nepeta and Equius, and finally, Eridan and Feferi.
"Now that we have teams. Let's make this interesting by making a contest out of this. And I know we are all just recovering from the last one, but this will be simple. The four teams with the lowest scores has to buy the rest lunch. All in favor say I" Dave proposed. "I!" Everyone said in unison. "Then it's settled. May the best team win. Also, once you are finished with the hole, move on to the next one, don't want to clog up the flow of things. Are there any other questions you like to address? No? Then let's play ball." Dave said before they all began walking to the first in the course.
Hole One: The Quiet Curve
Naturally, the first hole of any course is the simplest. Here, it is no exception. The Quiet Curve is a simple, relaxed slope with a basic one hundred degree turn. The Par is four strokes, a generous amount to ease people who haven't played before into the game, allowing them to get a feel for the equipment. Of course for pros like the Class of 217, this is nothing more than a joke round. "I'll go first. I'll sink this in one shot!" Vriska declared as she stepped up to the golf tee. Placing down a custom golf ball painted to look like an eight ball, courtesy of the General Crafts Club, and readied her stance. And with a semi-gentle tap, the ball smoothly rolled down the green and elegantly danced around the curve… Only for the ball to stop centimeters away from the hole. "One shot huh? Just what about this is one shot Serket?" Eridan asked smugly. "FUCK!" Vriska yelled before walking over to the ball and tapped it into the hole. "Two strokes for Team TaVris. Who's next?" Dave asked as Tavros and Vriska moved on to the next hole.
Hole Two: Windmill Classic Revised
What is a mini golf course without an obligatory model windmill course? But make no mistake, there isn't just one windmill, of no. The owner thought it was too easy so he added… A second windmill! And while you may think this is no different, the second windmill spins in the opposite direction of the first, and at a much faster speed. Thus decreasing the chances that someone getting a hole in one. The par is a fair three, enough to get through the windmills and into the hole. For Tavros, he nailed it in one go as his ball sailed right through the two sets of wind mill blades. As for others… Not so much. "This is a bit of a doozy…" Jake commented as stared at his ball. Said ball was in a location where the windmill blades would hit Jake if he were to try and get the ball rolling again. "Just use your putter like a pool cue." Dirk suggested. "Great Idea!" Jake said before laying on his stomach. And with a swift tap through the moving blades, the putter hit the ball and landed in the hole. "Three strokes. Not bad, but we still have ways to go." Dirk said as he and Jake went to the next hole. Team DirkJake, plus three strokes.
Hole Six: High Road, Low Road
As its name states, this hole has a forked path. One path goes up before heading back down while the other is a drop before a rise. The high road is much longer but the slopes are more manageable while the low road is shorter but its slopes are steep and difficult. With a par of four, the choice is yours on where to go. For Karkat and Terezi… "Terezi! You should be aiming for the low road!" Karakt yelled. "Shut it Karkles! I'm making my calculations! And whose turn is it?" Terezi asked. "Yours." Karkat replied in an irritated tone. "And who got the bogey?" Terezi asked. "I did." Karkat answered in the same irritated tone. "And who made a hole in one?" Terezi asked with a grin. "You did…" Karkat mumbled, still irritated. "Good boy. Now for my shot…" Terezi said before standing at the tee. And with a solid hit, Terezi's right red ball glided through the high road and effortlessly sunk itself into the hole. "Now, let's see if you'll get the next one Karkles." Terezi said as she moved on to the next hole. Karkat just let out a sigh and followed. Team Karezi, plus one stroke.
Hole Eight: Ridges and Ditches
This is the first hole to have water hazards on the course. It was a simple straight path to the hole with ridges in between. However, if the ball lands too far to the left or right side, it will roll down into the -water hazard. Due to its simplicity, the par is just two and nothing more. "Watch this Fef, this ball is going to fly!" Eridan said as he hit his ball. After hitting the first ridge, the ball went flying over the landed on the other side… Only for it to hit the end barrier due to its speed, bounce back towards the ridges, and go over the edge into the water. "Eridan, I wouldn't call that flying. That's more like swimming… Or sinking… The fishes look pretty." Feferi commented. "Son of a BITCH!" Eridan yelled furiously. After retrieving his ball, Eridan took a more cautious approach and sunk the ball into the hole. Team Erifef, plus four strokes.
Hole Twelve: Shifting Shades
Between two great oak trees lie the fifth hole. Timing is crucial here as there are barriers that rise and fall along the track to the hole. One ill placed putt can put you back a stroke or two. But other than that, it is straight forward once the pattern is memorized. And with a par of five, this hole is easier than what it appears to be. Just see what this pair makes of this hole. "Nepeta, I disapprove of this tactic. We are not playing this sport to code." Equius commented. "Come on Equius, it'll be fine. AC sees some people do this in her off time. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd… Go!" Nepta replied before hitting her ball. When it rolled over the top of a barrier, the mechanism that normally brings the wall up also launched the ball with it. The golf ball landed about two inches from the hole and rolled closer towards it, stopping when it was just half an inch away. "Aww, AC wanted a hole in one… Oh well! Come on Equius!" Nepeta chirped as she walked towards her ball. "I still do not approve of this improper behavior… But just thinking how I am still allowing this to occur gives me the chills…" Equius said, body shivering in delight. "What was that Equius?" Nepeta asked innocently. "N-Nothing, let us move on." Equius replied. Team Nepquius, plus two strokes.
Hole Thirteen: Relaxing Rest
This one was a bit odd in the sense that, there was a bench right over the hole. There were two ramps off to the side that goes up onto the bench, but the center was an out of bounds area that cannot be crossed. The goal is to get the ball up onto the bench where it will proceed to roll into one of the many holes that perforate the seat. One of those holes will allow the ball to drop right down into the course's hole, a possible hole in one. The par is four, and unfortunately, Jane and Gamzee is needs a whole lot more. "Gamzee… You need to hit the ball harder to go up the ramp." Jane instructed. "I got it…" Gamzee replied, hitting the ball up the ramp. Unfortunately, it still wasn't enough and it rolled back down to the same place Gamzee had it. "I got it…" Gamzee said before hitting the ball up the ramp again. "I think I'm beginning to regret declining Sakaki's invite…" Jane commented. Team Jazee, plus eight strokes.
Hole Sixteen: Snaking Path
Here we have path with multiple curves, patterned to look like a snake. The curves were also sloped towards the water hazards that were between each of the straight paths. With the right angle, one could get far without using many strokes. The par of this hole is three, a pretty average amount for an interesting course. But for this team, one maybe over thinking the nature of this course. "Do you think that the designer purposefully put a low par number on this seemingly difficult course to place pressure upon the player? Causing them to make more mistakes than they should?" Rose asked. "Rose, this is not seemingly difficult, it is difficult. The path is narrow, leaving not much room for error. It takes patience and planning to overcome something like this..." Kanaya said before hitting the ball. It danced around the curve, avoiding the water hazard, and sunk itself into the hole. "And it looks like you have those qualities Kanaya." Rose commented. "Thank you, but I think I could've, just maybe, do this in one less stroke." Kanaya replied. "Don't worry, we're doing well. Unlike Eridan over there." Rose said. "WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!" Eridan yelled. "Good point. Come, it's time we moved on." Kanaya replied before the two moved on. Team Rosemary, plus three strokes.
Hole Eighteen: Make a Wish
This was the hole that John and Roxy saw the team and club leaders playing when they arrived. It opens with a straight path before hitting a ramp. The ball then will, depending on its speed, will land in one of three levels one the fountain and end up on the other side. And depending on which level the ball lands in, the closer it will be to the hole, with the top being a potential hole in one. It is also possible to bypass the fountain all together, but if it lands anywhere else besides the fountain or the other side, it will be out of bounds. The par is three and Roxy steps up to the plate. "You know, when I was a little kid Lalonde, I would always make wishes before tossing a coin into a fountain. You have no idea how many quarters I used for that! I could have done laundry for three months with all of them coins." Roxy laughed. "I still kind of do that. Every time I go to the Typhon Plaza Mall, I would throw a coin or two into the big fountain in the center. It's still kind of childish, but every time I did that it would make me feel strangely happy and calm." John replied. "Then make a wish John, cause here we go!" Rose said before hitting her ball. The ball took no time to sail across the straight green and launched itself off the ramp at the other end. It then landed on the top layer off the fountain, causing the ball to roll down to the hole. And unlike Sakaki's and Arthur's cases, Roxy's ball rolled right into the hole without delay, a hole in one. "Yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about. So now we wait." Roxy cheered. "So what did you wish for?" John asked. "Come on John, don't you know that asking a lady for her secrets is strictly forbidden?" Roxy asked with a coy smile. "Say no more, my lips are sealed." John replied, making a pulling motion across his mouth. Team JohnRoxy, plus one stroke.
And so, the game came to an end as the last of the teams finished the final hole. It was then that everyone came together and presented their scores. Here is the board and everyone's final score.
John and Roxy: 52 6th
Dave and Jade: 44 4th
Rose and Kanaya: 47 5th
Jane and Gamzee: 59 7th
Dirk and Jake: 63 9th
Karkat and Terezi: 28 1st
Aradia and Sollux: 60 8th
Tavros and Vriska: 32 2nd
Nepeta and Equius: 39 3rd
Eridan and Feferi: 109 10th
"Eridan, how the fuck is your score so bad?" Karkat asked. "I don't know! This course is all sorts of jank! The ball never goes to the places I want it to go." Erida answered, in a frustrated and flustered tone. "Excuses Ampora~!" Vriska sang tauntingly. "Shut your face Serket, you're not any better than me! Tavros practically carried you and your incompetence throughout the whole game!" Eridan shouted. "To be fair, Vriska didn't do that poorly." Tavros said, intervening between the two. "So it's just you who sucks Eridan." Sollux said flatly. "You have no right to criticize me when you lost too Captor!" Eridan shouted. "Dude, what the hell are you so angry over? You're a rich fish who can afford to pay for our shit, no reason to go all irate on us." Dave asked. "Losing is what's what Strider! I could care less about the money, it's all about the victory…" Eridan replied. "Come on Captain Fishmael, it ain't all that bad. Losing is all part of the miracle of life. The more you lose, the more you'll win later. It's all about the balance in the universe my invertibrother…" Gamzee said.
"Ugh, you know what? Just fuck it… If we're done here, let's go get something to eat." Eridan said with a defeated tone. "Cheer up friend, a good meal after a humiliating loss always gets me right back on my feet. You'll be feeling better in no time." Jake said in a cheerful tone. "And that is why fools binge eat, they forget that facing problems with dignity is an actual thing." Eridan replied. "And you call throwing a tantrum dignified? Your standards is all sorts of fucked up." Karkat commented. "Guys, just drop it. We came out here to have a good time, not talk each other's heads off with things we already know about." John intervened. "Kankri has us beat when it comes to that." Dave replied. "Alright, fine but none of us has decided where to go. So I'll ask this once, where do you all want to eat?" Eridan asked, still irritated.
"Antonucci's!"
And that is chapter 26. As I said, this isn't one of my best. To make up for it, I will upload the next chapter on Wednesday. Hopefully it would be in better shape than this.
But other than that, its just the usual garbage. Leave questions, comments, and concerns in the drop box and all that jazz.
So, until next time. T1.
Class is dismissed.