"But if you cannot see it, is it really there?"
Before Zell had a chance to say anything, he found himself carried away by the scruff of his collar by a strong hand. The assailant dragged him two steps back before the martial artist broke free and started swinging.
Fortunately for Irvine, Zell had pretty good motor control so he didn't end up with a rearranged face.
"Dude, what is the big deal?!" Zell stage whispered, dropping his fists to flail his open palms around. "I was just listening to S-"
"-That's exactly the deal." Irvine replied back in a hushed tone, wrapping around a hand over his shoulders so they began to walk and talk. "It looks like Selphie but I'm 100% sure it's the doppelganger she pays when she needs stall for time."
Zell's eyebrows more-or-less disappeared into his hairline. "That's…a sentence."
"It is." the cowboy admitted. "The long and short of it is that the doppelganger's m.o. is to ask very odd questions to trap you into either arguing or wondering if Selphie was tripping on acid. It usually buys her a good 10 to 15 minutes, depending on the doppelganger's game that day."
"…Why pay a doppelganger to literally buy that little time? I don't get it."
"The inner machinations of my dear girlfriend's mind are sometimes a mystery to even myself." Irvine dramatically lamented. "If I had to guess, I'd say she's a long lost twin and Selphie doesn't know how to handle such a revelation that she pays this girl to do something completely pointless as an excuse to keep in touch."
"Why would you guess that?"
"Because none of this makes a lick of sense, so why start with anything logical?"