The knowledge that her mother had sex with the woman she loved made her ill, literally and she immediately ran to the restroom to throw up. After brushing her teeth Ashlee insisted on a detailed description not of the actual events, she would still be heaving if she knew that, but of the circumstances that gave rise to the events. Sitting on edge of the tub with the lid of the toilet still up just in case Ashlee asked only one question "Is it over?" And once she was satisfied that yes she was now like the rest of Springfield, one step away from incest and no neither her mother nor Ava had any lingering feelings she put it way way way back in the corner of her mind. Someday her mother was going to pay big bucks for therapy if it ever resurfaced but that was at least twenty years off.

Ava could have been reading from a technical manual aloud based on how completely detached an clinical she was relaying the days she spent with Doris. Looking at Ashlee's grim and slightly green face Ava knew that it was over. She hates me and after she hears this I'll never see her again so she did as she was asked as fast as possible so she could run to her room and sink in misery. When she finally finished she half expected Ashlee to strike her. Ash wasn't violent or confrontational but when she had a bit of alcohol in her she could be a spitfire. The way she spoke to Jake was evidence that she wasn't the same meek girl Ava knew in Springfield.

After Ava told the story and answered Ashlee's single question she turned around went to her room looked through her purse and pulled out two twenties. "Here" and promptly returned to her room and shut the bedroom door to cry. Five hours later when she left the room intent on getting another bottle of wine and the last of the ice cream she was surprised to see the living room tv turned on. She thought she had turned it off. Bending over to grab the whip cream from the refrigerator she screamed and dropped the bottle of wine she was drinking out of when Ashlee asked what she wanted for breakfast. "You keep doing that when I talk to you. I'm going to develop a complex"

"You. You're still here?"

"Yeah and I'm starving. You're fridge is worst than my mom's. I guess I'm going to be the one who cooks in this relationship too" Stunned. "I used the forty dollars you gave me last night to pick up some actual food. I can't afford to eat out every weekend and you might as well use this to hold more than yogurt and wine" looking at the leaking bottle she sighed "that's going to be a bear to clean up if it gets behind the fridge"

Going over the last few weeks in her mind she could hardly believe how close she had come to having her other half for what. This was supposed their final moment of sanity, an island of calm in the hurricane filled ocean of Springfield. They were on their way to a last meal before they told everyone. They were going to eat, dance, kiss and then come back to her apartment and officially mark their union by making love. It was becoming harder and harder to come up with reasons to wait and Ashlee was becoming more adapt at convincing. Some nights Ava's body was shaking because of Ashlee's efforts to weaken her resolve. There were a few nights she had taken a couple of hours long cold showers to strengthen her resolve.

Two weekends ago Ashlee mumbled "Ava, you know that I love you right?" into Ava's ear as she molded her body onto Ava's and held her from behind and underneath the comforter on sofa. Ava had a friend who worked for a movie executive and the latest Twilight was currently playing. The official premier was still months away and both women loved the series but the tv was getting the same attention as the House budget sessions. Ashlee was determined that tonight was going to be the night if she had to tie Ava down and take it. Knowing Ava she might enjoy that.

Ava was naming each state and its capitol silently and picturing the naked wresting hotel scene in Borat and anything that would keep her mind off the wandering hands caressing her stomach and the lips that were softly sucking her ear. "I love you too Ash" She hoped that the other woman didn't notice the shaking in her voice or how it cracked at the end.

"If I love you and you love me then don't you think its time to express it with more than just words? It would be so beautiful Ava" Ashlee had tried everything she knew and even a few things she learned on the internet but nothing budged Ava. She was going to resort to the very old "If you don't I could die" and at this point it wasn't very far from the truth. When Ava turned around Ashlee did a mental happy dance. I'm going to get some, I'm going to get some.

"Ashlee I love you and I know you love me and it would mean so much to me if we could just wait. I know that I'm being difficult and you deserve so much better but"

At that point Ashlee stopped listening and mentally shouted SCREWWWWWW at the top of her silent voice. You are so lucky I love you Ava Peralta or I would kill you. Inside she was fuming at being rebuffed so shrewdly yet again but aloud she responded "I love you and you are exactly what I want and deserve and I will wait as long as you need baby." And she would because everything she said was the truth but that didn't mean that she was going to stop trying.

Ashlee reasoned that since she already knew about her and Doris there was no longer any reason to wait but respected Ava's decisions even though every Sunday night she returned to school so tense her body ached. The first night after the big reveal Ashlee was so confused she started walking aimlessly. She got so far that when it started raining she ran just so she wouldn't be soaked to the bone. It started a pattern of running for at least a mile or two so if nothing else Ava's refusals were getting her in better shape. For Ava she was holding out primarily because she feared that once Doris knew she would pressure Ashlee into ending things before they had really began. Her secret fear that Ashlee would chose her mother so at the last minute she decided the weekend before their trip home they would make love. Ava was determined to share just one perfect night before the end. Ashlee was just praising God that she was finally getting some. Tonight and every night from now on Ava would be in her bed regardless of who she shared one with before.

Walking down the street hand and hand they had not even seen the fucker that pulled Ashlee like she was some rag doll. He could have. No if Ava went down that road there would be no coming back. Instead Ava lay in her sterile bed with two new holes in her body focused on the biblical rage that their coupling had probably inspired from their mothers. An earthquake would be nothing compared to the damage Doris and Olivia were going to inflict on the hospital. Fuck me. Only I could have a life that could easily adapt into a soap opera. Doris was going to have a bitch fit about her and Ashlee which wouldn't help to patch up her and Olivia's problems. Doris would come down on Ashlee and destroy their already tenuous relationship. If Ashlee lost her mom because of me that sure isn't going to make what they had any easier. "It would have been better if that guy was a better shot"

"What the hell! Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking because if you're not Ava!" Ava turned as much and as fast as she could considering the pain killers she was on but there was no mistaking the level off pissed off in Ashlee's voice. "What the hell did you mean Ava!?"

"Ashlee"

"NO I can't do this right now not after wondering for half the morning if you were dead or alive. Wondering what I could have done to prevent this!" and with that Ashlee turned and was down the hall. Looking up at her mom Olivia smiled and responded "I'll go get her honey don't worry."

"Ava how are you sweetheart?" Natalia softly said as she eased in the room. "We were so worried all of us. She's just upset but Olivia will let her know how difficult you guys can be when you're sick. If she's going to be a part of this family she might as well learn that now."

"I don't even know if she wants" Ava said shaking her head her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh she wants it Ava. Trust me my little girl is now tough as nails and its all because she wants this with you. I hardly recognize her. Hell now people won't wonder anymore if she's adopted."

"You're not. . .?"

"What mad? Surprised? Shocked? Well yeah I was all three I mean I'm not going to lie and say that I wouldn't have preferred that she and I would have only shared recipes or music lists but it's nothing out of the ordinary considering we all live in Springfield. I was hoping that she was transferring to Northwestern because she wanted to be closer to me but I'll take it anyway I can get it."

"Ashlee, Ashlee wait up a minute. You remember that I'm the woman who had a heart transplant will you take it easy on me?" That last bit worked and Ashlee stopped cold but wouldn't face her lover's mother. "Ash"

"How could she say that? How could she even joke about that? If she had died I would have…oh my God if she had died" Ashlee bent hiding her face in the cold walls of the hospital halls.

"Because when we are hurting sometimes we forget that the people who love us are hurting just as well Ashlee. Right after I got my new heart I was doing everything I could short of suicide to kill myself even though a few hours before I was praying for more time with the two people I loved most in the world."

"I can't do that Olivia. I can't sit there and listen to Ava wish she were dead" Ashlee said softly still not looking into Olivia's eyes because it was too much like Ava's and right now that was the face that hurt the most even more than the man who almost destroyed them all with the slight movement of his index finger. But she turned when she felt strong hands hold her from behind.

When Blake finally made it to the hospital she walked in to Ava's room and saw Doris sitting in on the foot of the bed stroking Ava's leg as they talked. Natalia was lying in a reclining chair as far back as possible nodding her head at whatever Ava and Doris were saying. Ava had pushed the bed up to a semi upright position but her face seemed tense even considering the pain killers Blake knew she must be on. Any inclination she had for sleep left soon after getting off the phone with Doris a little after one am. Instead of laying in bed worrying she packed her and Clarissa's bags, cleaned the house, and finished editing the final five chapters in her latest novel. As soon as she could considerately call Matt to arrange for her baby's stay after school she did. She fixed a huge breakfast and woke the girl. She couldn't decide what she wanted so she fixed all her favorites, pancakes, French toast and omelets. Clarissa looked like she wasn't sure if she were dreaming or not but she was eating as fast as possible just in case she woke up.

She lied and told her daughter that she had a surprise meeting in California but told her that she would call and check in as soon as she could.

"Hi"

"Blake, baby" Doris stood up moving towards the door pulling Blake inside the room with a quick but thorough kiss.

"Hey Blake"

"Hey babe" she whispered in Doris' ear before ending their hug. "Hey Natalia and how are you doing Ava?" Blake asked sitting on the other side of the bed across from Doris.

"Much better now that my Sunshine's back" Ava responded with a smile looking up at Ashlee and Olivia's face.