A/N: Here it is, the official last chapter, the alternate ending. It's stupid, silly, random, queer, and possibly the worst ending in all of America. Enjoy!
Songs: I got a hole in my pocket (Sheryl Crow)
Save Me San Fransisco (Train)
I am not dead yet (Spamalot)
Shows: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Chapter 25: Well now she's dead (Alternative ending)
Bella and Edward stepped onto the familiar soggy ground. They smiled at each other and took off at top speed to their house. The forest blurred around them in an impressionist's version of their forest. It took only a second to get home and when they did Bella burst through the door nearly knocking it off its hinges.
"You can tell me the world is round and I'll prove to you its flat", Bella sang, "You can keep your feet on the ground, but I'll be walkin' on air. You're pretty good at a'waitin', while I go runnin' around. Well that's just the way it is". Then Alice perked up and began to sing with her. "You know I"
"Iiiii"
"I got a hole in my pocket. You give me love and I drop it"
"I guess I'll throw it away". All the girls, except Rosalie, screamed and embraced in a hug that would leave most jealous.
"Well, well, well", Emmett said, "Look who finally decided to show up"
"Awwww, is poor Emmy feeling neglected", Bella cooed.
"Maybe a little", Emmett pouted.
"Don't pout you look like a two year old", Rosalie scolded.
"So what happened over there?" Jasper asked. Bella sat down and took a deep breath indicating that a long long story was about to begin. She told her story animatedly, her arms flailing around wildly hitting anyone who dared to sit too close to her. When she finished everyone bombarded her with questions.
"So do you know what Dracula drugged you with?" Emmett asked. Of course he would ask her that question. Out of everything, that's what he wanted to know.
"Don't know what I was on, but I think it grows in Oregon, so I kept on going, going, going right through. I drove into Seattle rain, fell in love and missed the train, that could have took me right back home to you", I sang.
"Ahhh", Emmett said as if everything mad sense now. Questions continued in this usual fashion. Some one would ask a question and Bella would answer in song. Then the lights went out, no one could see a thing. They came back on with a flicker and then there was this random girl standing by the door that led to the kitchen. She was pretty, for a human; had straight, shoulder length blond hair, a smooth face, and thin lips. She wore jeans and a black tank top.
"Who are you?" Esme asked.
"I'm Buffy", the girl said.
"Wait, wait, wait. I thought you're only a half Slayer", Jasper said.
"Yeah, but I'm still a Slayer. And as long as I am you aren't going to kill anybody else.
"Buffy, come on, one night of rest is not going to kill you", Rosalie said, trying to persuade the Slayer not to kill everyone in the house.
"No. But it might kill someone else", she said. The lights flickered off again, and then there were screams. Not the blood curdling scream of a human girl, but the metallic screams of vampires. The lights flickered on and Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward were all lying dead. Bella was panting on the floor nearly dead.
"If you're a vampire slayer then how come Dracula is still alive?" Bella asked as a distraction.
"Because", Buffy said, "I've killed him before, but somehow he finds away to revive himself, him and his wives. Now that's enough, you're going to die". Then Bella did the only thing she could think of to do, sing and dance.
"I like to dance", Bella said.
"Look you're not foolin' anyone"
"I feel happy, I feel happy", Bella said then the song began, "I am not dead yet, I can dance and I can sing. I am not dead yet, I can do the Highland Fling. I am not dead yet, no need to go to bed, no need to call the doctor because I'm not yet dead". She got up and did some famous Broadway musical dance moves, Buffy just standing there staring at her like she was insane. Then Bella got to the part where she would do the Jazz Square, but in the middle of it Buffy slammed a shovel on the back of her head knocking her down. The lights went out, a metallic scream could be heard, then silence.
The light flickered on with for the last time and picking up her tools and shovel Buffy walked out of that old white house singing.
"Well now she's dead, I whacked her on the head. Sure, now she's dead, it makes see just red. I am such a brute, to murder that old coot. You homicidal bastard, now she's really dead".
A/N: Well there it is the ending of A Known Stranger, which is possibly the weirdest story that I have ever created. Sorry to say there won't be a sequel to this story but there will still be plenty more other stories that I shall write. And for the last time in this story. Read, Review, Remember! (singing) Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while. Please promise me you'll try. Then you'll find, that once again you long to take your heart back and be free. If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me. (.com/watch?v=U6QYCS8SQts)