Resolutions – Part 2
Chapter 26
"Checkmate Helen; you lost."
Unable to move in the aftermath of the brutal death they had just witnessed, Jack, Lisa, Lou and Amy stood immobile around the Bartlett living room fixated on the now dead Helen Maxwell lying motionless on the floor in a pool of her own blood. The shock over what had just occurred hung in the air like a thick cloud mingled with smoke from Ty's fired gun.
They had all conspired to set a trap for a deranged sociopath that would remove her as a threat to the family and bring her to justice. But none thought it would come to this; that one of their own would have to kill Helen close up and personal in order to save the rest of their lives.
But Ty had; deep down he never believed Helen would allow herself to be caught and arrested; she would go out with a fight and someone would have to take her down to stop her. And with that conviction, Ty had become resolute in his need to save Amy and the rest of the family by whatever means necessary - and he had done just that. For he had met similar situations twice before in his life; situations that left no room for compromise or mercy. For if they had, someone he loved would have been gravely hurt or worse.
The first time was as just a teen, his increasingly abusive a stepfather in a drunken rage attacked his mother and likely would have killed her if Ty hadn't intervened. He'd viciously struck Wade in the kidney from behind, momentarily incapacitating him before shifting his attack to Wade's now vulnerable front. He would have kept hitting him until there was nothing left of his face to hit if his mother and neighbors hadn't pulled him off. And more recently, the same controlled fury overtook him during his fight with Davis Maxwell after Maxwell had struck Amy and attempted to kill him. During each occasion, Ty hadn't panicked or lost his nerve as most do under life-threatening pressure. Instead, a kind of composed rage settled over him enabling him to react with deadly single-minded purpose and clarity that obscured all else during such moments. For Ty possessed this rare quality that was simultaneously a blessing and a curse.
The blessing was a survival instinct that came with the ability to handle dangerous situations while maintaining his composure. The curse was the same instinct did not come without a cost. It left scars in its wake and a lack of trust in people and even oneself. Left dormant and untreated, the scars could become permanent. This, no doubt would have resulted from the residual psychological wounds from Ty's encounter with Wade at such an early age if not for the Heartland family and more specifically, Amy. Amy's loving persistence had slowly brought Ty back to a place where he could trust and love someone though not without struggle. And though she was yet unaware, Amy's healing ability would be needed even more from the encounters with Davis and Helen Maxwell.
Death's Aftermath
True to character, Jack walked into the kitchen, reached for the phone and called the police knowing the unpleasant task of explaining to the authorities what had happened lay ahead for all of them.
"Yes, my name if Jack Bartlett, may I speak to Detective Coates please?"
"Folks, thank you for your cooperation in answering all our questions, said Detective Coates after several hours of examining the crime scene and questioning the Bartlett clan. This appears to be a clear case of self-defense although I want to reiterate, you should have called the police the moment you hung up the phone with Bob Kearney."
"You're right Detective, we should have. But I want you to know, it wasn't a conscious decision not to call you…it's just that it all seemed to happen so fast," responded Jack.
Nodding in acknowledgement, Coates continued, "for the next 24 hours, your home will be a crime scene; do you all have somewhere else to stay?"
"Yes, we'll be fine Detective; thank you."
From the time the Police arrived, Amy noticed that Ty had withdrawn and had only spoken when asked a direct question. Warning signs were beginning to go off in her head but she was unable to pinpoint their source as yet.
"Mr. Borden, we're going to need to speak to you further about the shooting. I will be contacting you to come down to the station for additional questioning; alright?"
"Yes Detective," replied Ty in a lifeless, monotone voice.
The Loft
"Ty, would you like something to eat, inquired Amy?"
"No, I'm not hungry, replied a unresponsive Ty."
"You want to sit and talk for a while?"
"No thanks; I think I'm going to just go to bed."
"Alright, I'll join you in a while."
No response
He's withdrawing; shutting me out…but he just took someone's life! Cut him some slack Amy! He's got to be emotionally drained. Should I go in and see what I can do or leave him alone for now? Give him his space for now; let him sleep.
Slipping softly into bed so as to not awake her husband, Amy finally came to bed well after midnight. Her mind was still racing from the traumatic day they'd all experienced. Snuggling up closing to Ty, sleep continued to allude her as her mind refused her exhausted body's plea for rest. Finally, as the still of the night grew ever quieter, Amy drifted off to a unsettled sleep.
The loft bedroom had been lit for several hours from the sun's rays when Amy awakened the next morning. Instinctively reaching for Ty, she felt only cold, wrinkled sheets where she expected her husband to be.
"Ty, Ty, are you there?"
But silence was the only reply Amy received.
Rising from bed, a far from rested Amy reached for her sweatshirt before stepping into the main area of the loft hoping beyond reason Ty might be there even though he hadn't responded seconds earlier. But her disappointment was confirmed at the sight of an empty room.
No note, Amy thought after scanning the table and countertop for any sign Ty may have left explaining his whereabouts.
Where could he be…he's not working today?
Her concern with Ty's emotional condition triggered by his reclusiveness the night before began to escalate again with his absence.
Where could he be…think Amy! His truck!
Walking quickly to the window, Amy parted the blinds to see if Ty's truck was parked outside but a quick scan of the grounds revealed its absence.
Did he go for coffee; breakfast? Amy hoped but as quickly as the optimism of a simple coffee run entered her mind it departed for in her heart she knew his purpose for leaving was much complicated.
Throwing on her shirt and jeans, Amy made her way down the loft steps toward the main house.
"Good morning Grandpa," said Amy upon entering the house.
"Morning Amy."
"Have you seen Ty this morning?"
"No, but I think I heard his truck leaving a couple of hours ago. He didn't say where he was going?"
Hesitating before answering, Amy replied. "No, he didn't and I'm getting worried Grandpa. Ty was withdrawn last night and I'm afraid he might be internalizing his emotions again from the shooting of Helen Maxwell yesterday. You know how he can retreat into himself at times."
"It's a defense mechanism Amy from all the crap he went through growing up. But he's largely grown out of it thanks to you. I think once you two sit down and talk this through, he'll come around."
"I hope you're right Grandpa; but I need to find him first. I left my phone back in the loft; I'm going to head back over there to see if he's called."
Amy's anxiety over Ty's absence and state of mind seemed to increase with every step as she made her way back to the loft.
Reaching the top of the stairs, Amy scanned the room before locating her phone still resting on her bedside table. Sure enough, there was a text from Ty and her worst fears were confirmed.
Amy, I was up early this morning and didn't want to wake you. I need to spend some time alone and sort through some things. Please don't worry; I'll be in touch soon.
Oh Ty, please don't do this. I know I can help you get through this if you'd just let me in.
Anxiously dialing his number, Amy's hopes were further dashed as the call went immediately to voicemail.
He's turned off his phone knowing I'd call. He doesn't want my help…come on Amy, have some faith in him! He's going to call and give us a chance to work through this together. I know he will!
As the remainder of the day crept painfully by, Amy must have checked her phone fifty times for word from Ty; but nothing, her phone remained dormant. When it finally rang, it was Lou inviting her for dinner but Amy declined, citing she wasn't hungry.
Within 30 minutes of Lou's call, feint footsteps were heard in the barn that became louder on her steps.
"Amy, are you up there, called Jack?"
"I'm here Grandpa."
"I brought you some dinner."
"Thanks Grandpa, but I'm not hungry."
"Alright, I'll put it in the fridge in case you change your mind later."
Turning towards his granddaughter after placing the plate in the refrigerator, Jack gazed at Amy and immediately took in her distraught countenance.
"It's going to be ok honey, you'll hear from Ty soon."
Upon hearing her grandfather's words, Amy's emotions began to spill over and the tears started to flow.
"But what if I don't?" cried Amy as Jack folded her into his arms as he had so many times since the death of her mother.
"Amy, look at me. Ty's not the boy he was when he arrived here at Heartland. He's a man with the depth of character that makes me; makes all of us proud. He's the son Lyndy and I would have wanted if we had a boy. But you know what he went through up to the point he came here. It was bound to leave a mark on him; it would anyone. But he's fought through it due to his strength of character and you. That's not to mean shadows from his past won't occasionally reach out to haunt him. That's probably what's happened now. But I believe he'll recognize his need for you and the rest of the family to help him get through this. Remember, just yesterday he had to take the life of another human being who might have killed all of us if Ty hadn't reacted as he did. That's not an easy burden to deal with. Be patient with him Amy. He'll reach out to you soon."
"You really think so?"
"I know so."
"Thank you, Grandpa, for always being there for me."
"That's what Grandfathers are for honey. Now try to eat something before you turn in."
"Alright Grandpa; I love you."
"I love you too Amy."
Easing into bed after nibbling on a few bites of roast that Lou had sent over, Amy tried calling Ty one more time but his voicemail confirmed he still wasn't ready to take calls.
Ty please call; please! But Amy's final thoughts of the night went unanswered before she tearfully drifted off to a fitful night's sleep. As dawn approached, an exhausted Amy finally fell into a semi-settled sleep she so badly needed. But her bliss was short lived as she was awakened by the ringing of her phone shortly after 7am.
Reaching for her phone, a half-awake Amy groggily looked at her caller ID before answering. Recognition however jolted her immediately to life.
"Ty! Ty! is that you. Where are you; are you ok?"
"Amy; I'm sorry if I woke you but I_"
"No Ty it's fine. I'm just so glad you called. I've been so worried."
"I'm sorry Amy; after what happened, I just…I had to get away."
"Are you alright?"
Silence
"Ty?"
"No, I'm not."
"Oh Ty."
"Amy, I need to ask you something; something of you."
"Anything Ty; what is it."
"Can…can you come meet me? I…I really need you right now."
"Yes, of course I can! Just tell me where you are and I'll be right there."
"I'm at Pike River."
"You're at Pike River; you drove all the way to Pike River?"
"Yes; it's always been kind of a special place for us…and a place where I could think. Can you come; soon?"
"Yes, I'll be there as soon as I can! But Ty, you have to promise me you won't leave. Promise me you'll still be there when I arrive."
"I promise Amy; I need you more than anything right now," Ty replied his voice beginning to choke.
"Ty, it will be alright; I'm on my way."
"Amy?"
"Yes."
"I love you."
"I love you too Ty."
Hastening down the loft steps after a hurried shower, Amy burst into the main house.
"Grandpa! Grandpa!"
"He left early this morning for the herd. Amy, what's wrong," replied Lisa noting Amy's frantic face.
"Lisa, it's Ty. He called and he needs to see me. He's at Pike River. I know it's a long drive but could you take me? Please Lisa!"
"But don't you want to take your truck…you want to drive back with him."
Amy nodded her head acknowledging Lisa's discernment.
"Will you take me?"
"Of course I will. Let's go."
"Amy, try and relax. We'll be there before you know it."
"I know Lisa, I'm just so worried about him. Did you see the way he shut down after…after what he had to do to Helen?"
"Yes, I did and I understand your worry. But know this Amy, Ty is strong. He's like Jack in that way. And he's at his strongest when he's with you."
"You think so?"
"I do."
"But why did he leave?"
"Amy, I believe Ty having to do what he did to Helen Maxwell reopened some old wounds and he's struggling with them. And he's trying to deal with them as best he can. And if I know Ty, one of the reasons he went off initially alone was so as to not put you through it. But now, I think he knows he needs your help. That's a good sign Amy; a good sign. You'll get him through it; I know you will."
"Oh, I hope so Lisa. I can't wait to see him."
"Only another hour or so to go."
Pike River
In the aftershock of killing Helen coupled with his conflicting emotions towards Amy, sleep was as evasive to Ty as it had been for Amy. After receiving her text informing him she was only five minutes out, a weary but anxious Ty kept an eager watch for Lisa's SUV on the road leading into Pike River.
Despite everything and my fear of hurting her, I can't wait to see her. I have to tell her though; tell her everything and let her decide. She's the only one who can heal me.
Pulling into the lodge parking area, Amy immediately saw Ty's truck and her heart skipped a beat.
"There Lisa," she said pointing at Ty's truck.
"There he is," Lisa began to say but Amy was already out of SUV running to where Ty was exiting his cabin.
"Ty!" Amy said as she jumped into his arms reminiscent of when she returned from Europe and saw Ty for the first time after all those many months.
"Amy," Ty replied holding her suspended from the ground as he took in the feel of her; the scent of her and finally her lips; kissing her as though it had been weeks since the last time.
"Ty, I've missed you so much these last couple of days; I've been so worried about you."
"Amy, I'm sorry. I've been so unsure of things since…since I shot Helen. But I want to tell you everything and let you decide."
"Let me decide; decide what Ty; what do you mean?"
"I promise to tell you everything, but not here. Let's go for a walk; you know, down to that place along the river we went to before? We can talk there."
"Ok; I love that spot."
Hand in hand, the young couple made their way to the river in silence; each fearful of what the other would say.
Reaching their familiar spot on the rocks as the river flowed by, Amy was the first to speak.
"Ty, why did you leave?"
Unable to immediately answer her, Ty kept his head down until he was ready for what was to come.
"Because I was afraid; I was afraid Amy."
"Afraid of what Ty?"
"Of me; I was…am afraid of me."
"Ty, I don't understand. What could you possibly fear about yourself?"
"This is hard for me Amy. I…I don't ever want to hurt you; I can't. I couldn't live with myself if I did."
Amy remained silent as she saw the pain and effort behind Ty's words but still couldn't discern what he meant. In her confusion, she decided to take a different tact.
"Ty, do you remember all those many years ago when your dad showed up at Heartland with the truck load of horses?"
Choosing not to speak, Ty nodded, acknowledging the memory.
"You remember how hot it was and it hadn't rained in weeks, Amy continued. We were in the barn and it began to rain. We stepped out of the barn to feel it's relief and we kissed. And then you said you didn't want to hurt me and pushed me away. And I said I was willing to chance it but you weren't. Do you remember?"
"Yes."
"We spent months apart after that before getting over ourselves and finally realizing we loved each other."
"Are you doing it again Ty? Are you pushing me away because of something you're afraid you might do?"
"No Amy; that's not it…."
"Ty, Amy lovingly pleaded. Please just tell me. I can take anything but distance between us. We can get through anything as long as we're together. Just tell me what it is you're afraid of."
Seeing the anguish in Ty's face, Amy resisted the urge to hold him. She had to let him fight through it and release what was causing him pain and preventing him from opening up to her.
"It's ok Ty; tell me," she whispered.
Looking into her eyes, Ty saw the love she had for him and it gave him the courage to risk all.
"I don't trust myself."
"What…what do you mean? What don't you trust about _"
"Amy don't you see? I don't trust myself because I might be a danger to you and the rest of the family; especially you. And I don't know if I can live like that. I don't know if I can be around you knowing I might hurt you. I'm afraid I might have to leave to protect you from myself."
Amy could see the beginning of tears forming in the corner of Ty's eyes and though she still didn't understand what he was referring to; she knew whatever it was, it was real to him; and it was tearing him up inside.
"Ty, Amy said softly, you could never hurt me as long as we're together."
"You don't know that Amy! I don't know that! That's why I left. That's why…I may need to stay away."
Fear and shock shot through Amy like electricity at Ty's words. But she knew she had to allow whatever it was to play itself out or Ty would never get past it.
"Ty, you leaving is what would hurt me; what I couldn't take."
"I just don't know Amy."
"Ty, tell me why you don't trust yourself and why you believe you might hurt me."
"Because its happened three times now Amy; and you were there for the last two."
"What's happened?"
Reassuring him with a squeeze of her hand on his, Amy encouraged Ty to continue.
"Do you remember when I told you about almost killing Wade when he attacked my mom?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Well, I was in what my mom later described as some sort of obsessed-like state when I went after Wade that time. I was so singularly focused, nothing else existed or mattered to me during those moments. And as I said, I would have killed him if my mom and neighbors hadn't pulled me off in time."
"Just like what happened again in the barn during my fight with Davis Maxwell. When he hit you…everything zoned out of my mind other than stopping him. An I know I would have killed him if you hadn't been able to bring me out of that state I was in; you even said it at the time. And then a couple of days ago, the same thing with Helen Maxwell. When she pulled her gun, it came over me. As I emptied my gun into her, there was no one else in the room; nothing else in my head but to stop her from shooting any of you. You told me later I kept pulling the trigger even after I had fired all the bullets."
"Don't you remember the brutality of it? Don't you remember the brutality of how I ended the fight with Davis Maxwell? I dislocated his elbow without hesitation and started beating him senseless without a second thought. I was oblivious to everything; even the knife wounds he gave me."
"It was like I was…sort of outside of myself; outside of my body. I was full of rage but remained calm at the same time. And there was only one thing in my head; stop Davis Maxwell; stop Helen Maxwell before they hurt you."
"And then you had to bring me back again."
Ty paused a moment before continuing.
"None of what I did bothered me at the time Amy! NONE OF IT! It only left me empty inside. And that scares the hell out of me."
"But Ty, you did come back after you saved me; after you saved us all."
"But what if you hadn't been able to bring me back? What if the next time you can't and my rage is turned towards someone I love…towards you Amy, Ty choked?"
"Ty, you would never_"
"You don't know that Amy! I don't know that! And that's what I'm afraid of…of hurting you and not being able to stop myself."
"What's wrong with me Amy?"
Seeing the anguished look on his face and hearing the utter despair in his voice, Amy knew now was the time; the moment she had to reach him and bring him back permanently. She knew in her heart Ty would never hurt her or anyone else he loved. But to Ty at this moment, his actions were unpredictable; a ticking time-bomb ready to go off. And with Ty's powerful sense of right and wrong, he would remove himself from those he loved before accepting the risk he might hurt them.
Turning to look directly at her tormented husband, Amy began the effort of restoring him.
"Ty, she said lovingly; look at me."
Ty slowly lifted his eyes to her revealing more of the internal conflict raging inside of him.
"Your worry; your fear of hurting me…I love you for it. But listen to me; it's misplaced."
"What_?"
"Let me finish. It's your sense of honor; your sense of responsibility that has shaped so much of who you are that's speaking to you right now. But you're misinterpreting its message. You would never hurt me or someone you love. I'm sure of that as much as I'm sure of anything in this world."
"But Amy, you saw what I did to Davis Maxwell; to_."
"Yes, I did; and because I did and because I know your character so well, I know you'd never hurt me. Don't you see Ty? There's one constant with what came over you with Wade and the Maxwell's. People whom you loved were threatened in the worse way. I was threatened. And you'd never let me be harmed; you'd do anything to prevent that."
"Do you think it a coincidence its only happened when someone you loved was threatened? It's not Ty."
"But how do you know it wouldn't happen in a bad way? I don't seem to be able to control it Amy. It just comes over me."
"Because I know you Ty Borden. I know your character; your heart. Maybe even better than you do. You fiercely protect the ones you love and are a deadly threat to those who would harm them."
"That's a good thing Ty. It's something to be thankful of; proud of. Not fearful."
"You think so?"
"Yes, I do. Ty, I love you and I trust you with my life. There's no one I trust more. There's not one cell in my body that fears you'd hurt me…under any circumstances. And I know Grandpa feels the same way."
"But more importantly, you need to trust yourself…completely. You need to believe in yourself and who you are! I can't do that for you; only you can."
"I want to Amy; I do…but_"
"No buts Ty. You can't go on like this; we can't go on like this. I love you completely and will never leave you but we can't be complete; can't be whole, can't truly fit, until you learn to trust yourself."
Ty searched Amy's eyes for several long seconds before relief began to wash over his face as he started to see himself through her eyes and realization came over him she was right; and his fear faded away.
"You're right Amy; I need to trust myself. And I will because of your trust in me. You've always had confidence in me even when mine wavered. And you've always been right. But I will need your help. Will you help me?"
"You know I will," Amy whispered.
And before her last word escaped her lips, Amy was moving towards Ty to cup his face.
"I will always help you; I will always love you."
"I will always love you."
And with those shared promises, Amy and Ty kissed as though it was their first all over again.
"Let's go home," breathed Amy.
A/N: Except for a final epilogue, this story is essentially complete. Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter and the story as a whole.