Hello! Boop. Boop. Boooop. I don't know why I wrote that… I just felt like making those noises? I also want to point out… Bart is boring for the moment, basically because I find it hard to put characterization into a newborn. I basically think they're all just trying to adjust to life on the outside… and it must SUCK. It's cold. Loud. Stuff goes into you. Stuff shoots out. You have to wear clothes… So weird. What I can say is that I know where I'm going with Bart's personality, which is why I'm looking forward to the jump in the next chapter. I'm going to try to make him different that Harry, but still very clearly a child of Blair and Chuck. Wish me luck! Here we go…

"No."

"But what if—"

"No." Chuck said firmly.

For the past hour after he had read his son his goodnight stories, Chuck had been fielding his questions about all the reasons there could be to get rid of Bart.

"So you're telling me… if pirate ninjas took over and said you had to give up either ALL your money or Bart… You'd still keep Bart?" Harry demanded again in disgusted disbelief.

Chuck rolled his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose. "I would still keep Bart."

"You'd condemn us to poverty… I'd have to go to public school." Harry emphasized knowing his father's disdain for the institution.

Chuck leaned over and kissed his son's forehead before getting up and walking to the door. "We wouldn't be poor… we'd just burn through your trust fund."

Chuck closed the bedroom door on his oldest child's indignant gasp. He was still chuckling as he sauntered into the nursery. He walked through to the en suite bathroom and paused to lean against the door jam. He watched her like he always did.

Blair had the baby bath set on the counter and was bathing a two-week-old Bart as she sang to him. Chuck Bass loved his wife, so much so that he even loved her singing, out of tune, pitchy mess that it was. He smiled because it seemed Bart loved it too. As she gently ran a soft cloth over his delicate skin his still unfocused eyes seemed to seek out her voice. Chuck looked at her face and was caught by the look of rapture there, as she couldn't take her eyes off her baby. Blair took a towel from beside her and threw it over her shoulder and chest. Her hands slipped under his arms and her fingers supported his head and neck as she scoped Bart up and laid him against her before taking the edge of the towel and covering the baby so he wouldn't get cold. As she turned she spotted Chuck and she smiled at him. She started walking towards him to take Bart to the nursery but paused to let her husband kiss her. Chuck kissed her lips softly before letting her pass.

"How did it go?" She asked as she lay Bart down on the changing table and started to diaper him.

"Pirate ninjas and all my money… you?" Chuck asked as he dropped into the rocker and pulled an ankle up on his knee.

"Sharks and my favourite Dior."

"We're making progress…"

"Yes." Blair commented drolly as she rubbed cream over Bart's skin. "Maybe by the time we die he'll actually consent to acknowledge he has a brother?"

Blair was in a black silk robe and where the wet towel and baby had hugged her the fabric know clung to her chest. Chuck swallowed hard and repeated "four more weeks" over and over again in his head. Blair slipped tiny arms and legs into the sleeves of his sleeper and brought Bart up into her arms. She lifted him so that his face was close to hers and she kissed one soft cheek and then the other before settling him into the cradle of her arm. Knowing that Chuck would follow she walked out and headed for the master. Chuck's eyes locked on the sway of her hips and it took him a minute before he was able to stand up.

She was feeding Bart when he walked into their room, and he kept right on going and into a shower. When he finally came out, only the lamp on his nightstand lighted the room, and Blair was curled under the blankets, facing his side of the bed. Chuck stopped by the bassinette to check on Bart and then crawled into bed with his wife. For a minute he lay on his side and stared at her almost asleep face.

"Blair…"

"Mmmm?" She responded but didn't open her eyes.

"I have something for you…"

"A present?" Blair immediately perked up. He'd already given her push present, and she smiled just thinking about the elaborate diamond necklace that sat in their safe.

"Not quite…"

"You can't change your mind about the vasectomy." She told him with a frown as one eye opened to stab at him.

"Wouldn't dream of it…" He replied and wasn't lying. They actually had talked about it. They both felt that with Harry and Bart… their family was done. Blair had teasingly asked him if he was sure, because the twenty year old he married fifteen years from now might not like that he can't assure her inheritance. Chuck hadn't even blinked. Blair was going to be the only mother of his children and his only wife. Ever. That one had earned him a manual reward.

"Then what is it?" She asked opening both her eyes now.

"Shut your eyes… and give me your right hand…"

She looked at him suspiciously for a moment, but in the end the hint of a present had her obeying. "Fine… But if this amorous in nature, I'd just like to remind you that our innocent son is three feet away."

Chuck smiled a little. "He's a Bass… He'll learn soon enough."

He ignored her little humph, and turned to open his bedside table.

Blair lay there and her eye's cracked open as he turned back to her.

"No peeking." He said firmly. "Or I won't give it to you."

She slammed her eyes shut. "Sorry!"

He smiled because he remembered a similar time when they were six and he'd had his nanny pack macaroons in his lunch. She'd peeked. He didn't give her the cookies. She hadn't talked to him for a week. He hoped this went better.

He took her hand and played with her fingers for a moment before he slipped the ring on her finger. Then he watched her face.

Blair felt the cool band slide up her finger and she felt giddy. Did he get her a diamond to match her new necklace? The emerald piece she'd spotted at Cartier last month?

"Open them…" Chuck finally said after watching the play of anticipation across her face for several long moments.

With a giant dimpled smile she opened her eyes… and froze as she looked at her finger.

"My ring." She breathed in awe of it. After she'd traded it she never thought she'd see it again. "How—"

"I'm Chuck Bass…" He said as cocky as ever.

Two weeks later…

Eric shoved a grape into his mouth and then smiled at his mother's gasp. "Eric, really."

"They're going to be late. They're on new parent time." Eric said as he grabbed another grape off the table. It was Bart's one month birthday and after a great deal of effort Lily had talked the Bass family into a brunch to celebrate. Serena had warned her mother that it wouldn't be an easy task since Blair had sworn not to leave the house until she had lost the baby weight. Lily being Lily she'd gone to their apartment and hadn't left until she'd wrangled a time and date out of them. Now Lily, Eric, Serena, Nate, Dan and Rufus sat and waited for them.

Serena only laughed as she grabbed a grape of her own and ignored her mother's look. "They have, and always will be, on Blair Waldorf time. Blair is never late. Never."

At precisely 11:00am the elevator pinged and Serena looked at her brother triumphantly. Everyone stood to greet them and none were surprised to find the family of four perfectly coordinated in grey and lilac, right down to Bart's pacifier.

After greetings and the majority headed to the table, Serena nudged her best friend with her shoulder and Blair raised a brow at her. Serena eyed her up and down and knew that Blair had been struggling with the last ten or fifteen pounds. The fitted day dress hugged her like a dream, but they both knew it was getting considerable help.

"Can you breathe?" Serena asked teasingly.

"Not even remotely." Blair said through a big fake smile and then skipped towards the table with Serena's laughter following in her wake.

Chuck held a chair out for Blair, and then sat in his own right next to her, flinching slightly. The action caused a snicker from Nate and a scowl from Chuck.

"Nathanial…"

"Sorry." Nate cleared his throat but was still laughing. "I just never thought I'd seen the day that Chuck Bass was neutered."

Chuck leaned back in his chair, unperturbed by his friend's ribbing. "Nathanial… I don't think my virility is in question… I have the evidence sitting at this table…"

"And possibly all over the five boroughs…" Dan couldn't help but quip.

Both Chuck and Blair's eyes narrowed on Dan and he could feel it to his soul. Harry also picked up on it, and knew that whatever Dan had said had not gone over well with his parents. Harry, who was sitting next to Dan, looked up at him and crooked a finger towards himself, signaling that he had something to say to Dan. Once the older man had leaned in, Harry cocked his head towards him and said slowly and steadily. "I don't like you."

Dan froze in the act of chewing a piece of cucumber sandwich and nearly choked. It was one thing for a kid to yell that they hated you. It was a whole other level of scary when they said it with soft conviction.

When he managed to clear his throat he looked around the snickering or flat out laughing table. "Okay. Maybe I am glad to see the end of the Bass line."

With the table still loud, Chuck took the opportunity to lean over and whisper in Blair's ear. "Two weeks from now my virility will not be in question… at least not to you…"

Blair froze, and Chuck thought it was with desire. Her head was slightly turned away, and if he could have seen her face… he would have read her better.

Two weeks later…

"Blair…"

"No." Blair said firmly. "We can't take the risk."

"But…"

"I'm sorry, Chuck, but you came up with a sperm count… and I just can't let any of them near me. The doctor said to come back in a week and he'll check it again. We'll just have to wait." Blair chirped, and Chuck couldn't help but think she didn't seem that put out by this turn of events as she lightly kissed his cheek and skipped out of the room.

Two more weeks later…

Chuck hadn't felt this severe a case of blue balls since their senior year of High School when he'd had… mechanical issues. He couldn't concentrate. He had zero productivity. And Harry had asked him more than once why he was sweating so much and always looked like he was just about to hurl.

It had now been three months since they'd had sex. Chuck couldn't remember ever feeling this bad in his life. When she announced last week that she was going away for a girl's vacation with Serena, he'd thought maybe that would be for the best. Out of sight out of mind. He was wrong.

She called every night to talk to Harry, who had to stay behind to go to school, and held the phone up to Bart's ear so he could talk to him… Which Chuck still felt was idiotic, because at two month old Chuck highly doubted that Bart could grasp the concept of people existing when they were out of his eye line, let alone with their voice coming out of a box.

Mostly he missed her. Missed her scent. The lilt of her voice. The taste of her skin. If he hadn't have been so unbelievably horny for her his brain would have been working properly and he would have recognized the signs sooner.

Blair Waldorf was avoiding him. It was time to start digging.

Blair lay under the cabana by the pool with Bart on her chest. He looked at her with those piercing Chuck-esk eyes, and Blair thought her two month old was judging her.

"Don't look at me like that. You have a penis. You're probably on his side." She scowled at the baby.

Blair sighed and yelled for Dorota. She handed Bart off and pushed her sunglasses onto her nose. She flopped back against the lounger until her cell went off. She thought it was probably Serena who'd fallen in love again and had stayed at his place all night. Blair had warned her that he was no good. Serena had looked at Blair with a raised eyebrow and told her that he was very good and that Blair was just frustrated. Blair had stopped speaking to her right about then. Blair thought it was Serena calling to apologize. It wasn't Serena.

"Chuck." She said with her lightest voice.

"Blair…" He said and it put her on edge the way he said her name. It was like he could strip her through the phone.

Blair sat straight up and grabbed a robe to cover her one piece. "Chuck… Let me get Bart…"

"But… I want you…" He breathed with pure Chuck Bass seduction.

Blair felt her knees go weak. Damn him and that voice. That voice had gotten her into trouble more than once in her life. She cleared her throat quickly.

"I was just thinking about you too… I was going to call—"

"Really…"

"Yes." Blair's mind was racing. She'd had a plan… one that she was going to implement tonight, and now she had to step it up. "It looks like I'm going to have to stay a little longer…"

There was dead silence on the line and Blair checked her phone to see if he was still there. Seeing the counter go up, she kept going.

"It's not me… It's Serena. She fell in love. Again." Blair said as if she was put upon. "And it ended. Again… and she's just about as broken hearted as you'd expect her to be over a five day relationship…"

More silence.

"So… she just can't face the city right now… I figure… another week… tops." Blair lied.

Even more silence.

"Chuck?"

Finally across the line came his voice. "How… benevolent you are."

"You know me." She tried to laugh. It fell flat.

"Since you can't come to me… I'll come to you."

"What? No!" She calmed her panicked voice. "I mean… that's so sweet… but you're so busy. I'd hate to take you away from your work."

"My work in nothing. I'll see you in a few hours."

He hung up before she could respond.

"DOROTA!" Blair bellowed. "Grab the baby, we're out of here!"

A few hours later Dan lay on his sofa reading the Help when he heard a sharp rapping at his door. He quickly shoved the book under a cushion and went to answer it. As soon as he opened it Blair breezed past him.

"Humphrey." Blair greeted.

Following shortly behind her came Dorota holding Bart, and bringing in the rear was Serena. Serena gave him a look that said both "I'm sorry" and "You don't want to know" all at once.

Before Dan could speak, Blair broke in with the

"We're on the lamb. For reasons that I can't discuss, I am avoiding my husband. Your loft is the last place he'd look for me other than a Payless, so here we are."

Blair sat down on the sofa and flinched. Reaching under the cushion she pulled out the Help and rolled her eyes at Dan. "Seriously."

"My favourite book." Dorota mumbled under her breath.

Dan swallowed hard as he shut the front door. "Am I allowed to ask how long you'll be staying?"

"Well…" Blair said looking around with disdain. "I won't be calling my decorator, but I will be sending you out to buy new sheets."

Suddenly Rihanna's Rude boy filled the air and Blair's eyes snapped to Dorota's."

"You left your cell on?" Blair berated. "I told you to turn it off!"

"But, Ms. Blair, I must keep it on. That's only Vanya calling to say he and Ana miss me."

"They're going to miss you a lot more when I have you shipped back to Poland." Blair yelled. "If your phone is on then Chuck can track us! What were you thinking, Dorota?"

"I am thinking I'm too old for this."

"Amen." Serena said as she sat down on a stool.

Blair was already in motion as she ran across the loft and pulled open the door ready to flee… but came face to face with Chuck Bass, who was lounging against the doorframe.

"Going somewhere, Mrs. Bass?"

"Chuck." She greeted as she schooled her features into passive indifference.

The tension crackled between the married couple. Chuck stepped into the loft and with each step he took forward, Blair took one back.

"I take baby home." Dorota said

"I'll… take out the recycling." Dan fumbled.

"I'll help!" Serena said quickly, and they all made their exits.

Chuck and Blair stood in the empty apartment and stared at each other, each trying to gage the other's mood and intent.

"I know you've been avoiding me…" Like a hunter he moved forward. Slowly as if not to startle, but with each knowing he could strike at any moment.

"I don't know what you mean?" She backed away and he stalked her. He didn't stop until she'd backed herself up against a shelf and had nowhere else to go.

His hands came up to rest on either side of her shoulders, and he leaned his weight on his palms, and slowly leaned into her until there wasn't even air between them. Trying to gain some perspective, Blair craned her head away from him, but that only gave him the opportunity to press his lips against her neck and run his tongue up her skin until it reached her ear. Her hands came up and fisted the collar of his jacket, and she didn't know if she was pushing him away or pulling him closer. All she knew was that he smelled amazing and his body was like fire.

Blair licked her bottom lip, and felt an immediate reaction in Chuck's body where it now pressed into her.

"You've been naughty…" He breathed into her ear.

"Never." She panted as her eyes rolled up into her head. His tongue was now swirling around her earlobe and making her think of its many valued uses.

"You have… I spoke to Dr. Kraft…"

"Oh?" Was all she managed before she let slip a moan… a moan that was caused by his hands beginning to explore her body. Caressing. Squeezing.

"My count was zero weeks ago…"

"You should have his license pulled…" And she gasped as his hands found her ass and clutched it tightly as he yanked her hips towards him.

"Well… that might be harsh. Since apparently your promise to get his daughter into Constance secured a faulty count…"

"You can't prove that…" Her eyes managed to focus for a moment as she looked at him with triumph, knowing she'd left no paper trail.

"I don't have to…" He breathed against her lips and his tongue slipped out to trace their perfection. "I just need to know why you're running away from me… You know I like a good chase… but I was getting the distinct impression that you actually didn't want to get caught…"

Her eyes swept down and hid from him. "I wasn't ready…"

His hands came up to cup her jaw and hold her face to his. "You could have told me… I wouldn't have—"

"I know." She cut him off softly, because she knew he wouldn't. "But you can be very persuasive… and I didn't want persuading."

He could feel the vibration in her body. One of his hands slipped down her thigh to catch her below her knee and pull her leg up onto his hip. Sweat poured off of her, as he pressed closer.

"Are you ready now?" He asked huskily, but already knew the answer.

"YES!" She half bellowed as her hands let go of his collar to grab the back of his head and pull him into a wet, passion filled kiss.

Serena and Dan sat on the curb outside his loft. Their knees were drawn up to their chests and they each had vacant stares as they looked at the sky.

"You know they're having sex all over your loft, right?"

"I'm going to have to move."

"Yep."

TahDAH! Okay that was a very rambling chapter, and no, I didn't proof read it. Sorry! The jump comes in the next chapter, and I'm thinking we're going ahead five years. Don't worry! Trust me! I'll fill in the gaps.