Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews, it is always a pleasure to read them. Wow, this thing is about to become novel-length… Here's the deal: this particular time the next chapter is practically finished and how quickly it is posted will depend on how inspired I feel to edit and post it so if you have any thoughts I urge you to share them. Of course, that doesn't mean you should leave me a review just because I say so but if you do have something to say be aware that your perspective can be refreshing and inspiring. Thanks!
26.
Combeferre is rather surprised on Tuesday morning when the housekeeper shows a flustered Joly into his sitting room.
"Combeferre, I must ask you to examine me," his younger colleague begins in a rush as soon as he crosses the threshold. "I have been coughing all week and I…" He stops abruptly when he registers the third person in the room. "Enjolras…" There is an awkward pause. "Forgive me, I did not think you would be here."
"I can easily leave if you need to speak to Combeferre in private," Enjolras says beginning to get up.
"No, don't! I…" Joly flushes and looks aghast. "It is only my usual antics, Enjolras, you must pay no heed." He smiles apologetically. "I should really not have rushed in like this, it was exceptionally rude."
"Not when it is only us," Combeferre says gently. "You are welcome to call at any time, you know that. Please, take a seat. What is the matter?"
Joly sits but looks uncomfortable even though he is trying to cover it. "It is nothing much, really. I have caught another one of my colds and was wondering if you could spare me a minute. You know they used to encourage us at school not to doctor ourselves but to trust in our colleagues." He chuckles nervously. "I should have just gone down the street…"
It suddenly strikes Combeferre what this is about and his heart speeds up in fear. "Don't speak nonsense. Of course you should come to me and not simply 'go down the street'. I could see you in my study. Enjolras, if you would only excuse us for a few minutes…?"
Enjolras nods. "Certainly." Worried lines have begun forming on his forehead. He, too, has probably guessed the likely reason behind this sudden visit.
As Combeferre is leading the other doctor towards his study Joly throws him a guilty look.
"I did not mean to bother Enjolras," he mutters.
"Enjolras is a grown man, not a child we should try to shelter," Combeferre says with as much conviction as he can muster in order to appease his friend. But the truth is that he, too, would have preferred it if Enjolras had not happened to be present. Their patient is weakened after the second procedure on his lungs and it would be better for his mind to be at ease as much as for his body to be at rest. Combeferre has even been discussing with him the possibility of checking into a consumption hospital for a short period just so he can get as much care as possible. Now his worries for Enjolras are joined by worries for Joly. He takes out his stethoscope and he realizes he is holding his breath and biting his lip as he listens. Joly is twisting a handkerchief in his hands as he follows instructions he is perfectly familiar with.
"I was careful…" he says weakly in the quiet of the room when Combeferre has remained silent for too long.
Combeferre shakes his head quickly and removes the instrument. "You need not trouble yourself. It seems to be nothing but a cold."
Joly blinks a couple of times almost as if he doesn't understand before exhaling and dropping his head in his hands. "Mother of God. Are you sure?"
Combeferre allows himself a smile. "I am positive. And, as far as I can tell, you are not showing any other symptoms but the cough?"
"No, but I thought…"
"I know." He embraces the younger man, feeling unspeakably grateful that the number of his patients has not doubled today. "But it is only a cold. You have survived millions of those."
Joly returns the embrace and sighs. "Perhaps you think me a coward for panicking like this. I look at Enjolras and…"
"No," Combeferre says with conviction. "It is no cowardice to want to live and be healthy. You did not shy away from the bullets when you thought it would help people. A deadly disease is a different thing – it serves no purpose. I sometimes even fear that suffering in silence and hiding the true horror from those around can put their minds too much at ease. If it brings comfort to the sufferer to find poetry or nobility in such a death so be it, but if it is only a mask it can be of no benefit to anyone. We must recognize an evil to fight it."
"I still wish it did not frighten me so."
It frightens Combeferre too if he is honest with himself. But this kind of fear is a constant companion for those who have chosen for their profession to walk among the sick.
"Do you think we are wrong about how it is transferred between people?" Joly asks as he starts putting himself to rights.
Combeferre thinks for a moment. "It seems the most logical explanation to me. It could, of course, be inherited as it seems prevalent in certain families but that does not explain how Enjolras got it. I know of no one in his family who has had it and, in fact, they seem to tend to live to an old age if the fact that he has a great-grandfather still living is any indication. I am also not a supporter of the idea that a person's mind and disposition are to blame. That seems to me sheer nonsense especially in terms of Enjolras. Yet we have not identified any other possible source yet either." He sighs. "So many things unknown. We are shooting in the dark."
Joly looks thoughtful. "If I am not sick then perhaps what I was looking at…" He cuts himself off. "You must come to my office and look at something with me but we can discuss that later. I distressed him already, I don't want to leave him in suspense too long."
When they return to the sitting room Enjolras is standing, looking out the window. He turns when he hears them approach.
"Just a cold, like I told you," Joly says immediately and slips into a chair with a smile. "Combeferre, do you suppose you could pour me a drink?"
As he complies Combeferre sees Enjolras's shoulders loosen almost imperceptibly. The blond smiles and sits as well but rather than retaking his original seat next to the one Joly is now occupying, he positions himself on the other side of the coffee table. He spends the next hour subtly keeping himself at some distance from both of them. This does not go unnoticed by Combeferre and he can tell by Joly's looks he has seen it too.
"You must get him back to his senses. I don't know how to," Joly says when Combeferre comes to see him off at the door. "I'm sorry for putting that silly idea in his head that he has to stay away. Tell him we'll take care of him whether he likes it or not."
Combeferre nods and returns to the sitting room to confront his friend.
"I should have realized how big the danger was earlier," Enjolras says in response to the questions about his behavior. "You both mentioned you believed the disease to be transferable and I took care not to get too close but perhaps it is not enough."
Combeferre shakes his head. "Enjolras, come now. Nothing at all has happened."
"Perhaps it is a warning. Perhaps I should not be so reckless. That hospital you spoke of…"
"You said you did not wish to go there."
"I do not believe I need to go there for my benefit but I would if it is to keep others from harm."
Combeferre hesitates, torn in two. He has spoken in favour of the hospital but for different reasons and he does not want his friend to go there out of a sense of duty. "Let us consider more carefully before we make a decision. The trial is in two days and I know you wanted to attend. After that we shall see. But I am telling you now, none of your friends will ever concede to leave your side, in the hospital or out of it."
Enjolras smiles a bit. "I pray that my friends have the sense to take care of themselves as well as they take care of me. If they don't, what else shall be left of me in the end?"
Combeferre doesn't want to reply. These conversations make his chest tighten. Instead, he changes the topic and for the rest of the day they talk about matters of education and he idly wonders what Joly is meaning to show him the next day.
End Note: RandR, please. Whether you take that as Read and Review or Reuse and Recycle, it's all good. Best if you do both – you'll help an author and save the planet.