Guess who fell of a roof yesterday? :D I'm okay, no broken bones, just extreme road-rash, or roof-rash… I'll be fine in a couple of days, so don't worry. I just thought I'd share. Now it's time to destroy a fleet of airplanes! As always; be extremely careful when you're on a roof, review, and enjoy!

P.S. I'm not sure exactly if you can hotwire a plane, but if you can think of a better word for it, I'm all ears.

P.S. X2 I know Skittles weren't around in this time, but the Rule of Funny says I can do whatever I want, as long as it's funny. (Also I don't own Skittles)

P.S. X3 This is my absolute favorite chapter, no questions.

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The small group made their way to the runway, sneaking past several robots working on planes. They noticed a larger plane off to the side which was already finished, so no robots were near it. They snuck inside it and prepared some guns on board while the engineer started to hotwire it.

"How exactly are we supposed to destroy roughly three hundred planes by ourselves?" Scott asked Mackenzie as she strapped him to a chair, "I'm not the best at math, but isn't it kind of psychotic?"

"We'll figure it out." She shrugged.

"See, psychotic!" Scott pointed out, then pointed to BLU Soldier and the Demoman who were drinking bottle after bottle of moonshine, "Not to mention those two, what sane person would give a gun to them?"

"Drunk people are immune to pain, consider them our secret weapon."

"I can! I can taste the rainbow!" the Soldier slurred, "Tavish you were right!"

"I told ye, lad! Ain't it wonderful?" Tavish waved a drunken arm through the air, "Now let's blow up some robots!"

"I give up," Scott sighed, "Obviously sanity and logic have no place here."

"Glad yer getting into the spirit of things!" The engineer called from the cockpit, "I'm ready when y'all are!"

"Good, everyone into position!" Mackenzie called out, while loading a large gun, "and Scott, you just sit there I guess."

"Sorry, Scott isn't here, I'm Princess Psychoton the third." Scott waved his arm sarcastically.

"Nice to meet you yer highness." Tavish drunkenly hiccupped.

"Cut the comedy! They're about to take off!" the RED Soldier barked from the frontmost of the four turrets as the sound of propellers echoed through the runway. The two drunks and Mackenzie hurried into the other turrets.

"Everyone ready?" The engineer called.

"Yeah!"

"Yep."

"I don't really have a choice do I?"

"NO!"

"Okay, let's go." He said as he started up the plane, then noticed a couple of robots behind them, "Hope you don't mind us borrowing this!" he taunted them as the plane took off.

"Okay, fire on my signal!" The soldier ordered the others. He paused for a moment as their plane creeped up on the fleet, "Three…" everyone tensed, "Two…" they strengthened their grips on the controls, "NOW!"

Bullets fired, planes exploded, fire painted the sky and scraps of metal rained down. Their plane dive-bombed others as the four turrets busily took out others. Strangely enough, taking out the fleet was easy. As soon as their bullets and bombs ran out, they had taken out the entire fleet.

"Is that it?" Scott asked, looking out a nearby window, "Is that seriously it?!"

"We won?" The BLU soldier slurred.

Silence rang for a moment as everyone climbed out of the turrets, then the engineer gasped, "Don't celebrate yet, boys…"

Behind them was a giant plane with at least a hundred guns attached to it, five huge turrets on each wing, a huge bomb bay, and somehow the thing was still able to stay airborne.

"Mother of…" the RED Soldier raised his helmet to get a better look at it.

"How is that even… WHAT?!" Scott slapped his hand over his forehead.

"Enjoy my little toy?" A giddy voice hissed over the radio, "I hope so, because it'll be the last thing you see. And don't worry, it'll be quick."

"How in the Sam heck can that thing fly?!" The engineer looked over his shoulder to get a better view.

"A little something I call anti-gravity, Mr. Conagher. Your design, I believe…"

"You son of a-"

"BOMB!" Someone in the back cut him off as a large metal object whizzed by their small plane as the engineer pulled to the left, but crossed paths with a turret and bullets pierced the side of the plane, hitting Mackenzie in the shoulder.

The Demoman gained a degree of sober-ness and ran to her aid, "Ye okay, lass?" he asked, helping her to a seat.

"Y-yeah," Mackenzie grasped her bleeding arm, "What do we do now?"

Silence filled the air, but was quickly broken by a noise on the radio, "Absolutely nothing!" it cheerfully chirped, "Even if you avoid our attacks, you'll run out of gas in five minutes."

"How do you know?" the RED soldier hissed.

"We planned every moment of this day, and guess what? You aren't even the target, in three hours we'll attack Washington D.C. after that, we fly to England, then the rest of Europe, eventually the whole world… And you know the best part?" the voice teased them, "No one can do a thing about it! This plane is virtually indestructible from the outside, never runs out of gas, and doesn't need anyone on board to control it! So while it's destroying the capitols of all the countries, we're safe and sound, watching it from Teufort."

"Yeah, but you made one mistake." The RED Soldier's lips curled upwards slightly.

"And what is that?" the voice sounded halfway concerned.

"You just threatened America in front of ME." He walked over to the bomb-bay, removing his helmet and coat, "Not to mention give away your weakness."

"Wait- what are you?!" the voice screeched, "You'd have to be a lunatic to even think-"

"If you haven't noticed, yet…" Scott called out, "This plane is full of insane people, he just got to it first."

Soldier tossed his helmet and coat to Mackenzie and Tavish, "Gentlemen, it has been an honor serving with you…" he saluted the group, and they saluted back, then crossed his arms over his chest, "Also, make sure the maggots who built this thing die for me…" he grabbed a couple of grenades then he let himself fall out of the plane, landing on the larger one's cockpit.

The glass shattered on impact, and soldier was greeted by an array of controls which soldier assumed were there for backup, he grabbed the steering wheel and made the plane plummet towards the ground. He then broke the controls with a pipe that he ripped off from behind him, and ran to the bomb-bay where a large assortment of bombs lay.

He took the two grenades in both hands, jumped out of the plane, and threw them into the bomb-bay. Everything was silent for a moment as soldier fell through the sky, then a loud boom was heard and the plane was consumed in a large fiery explosion. A wireless camera was hurled up to soldier somehow, and he grabbed it as he fell, and stuck his middle finger up as he got closer to the ground.

"He did it…" Tavish said, surprised, "He actually did it."

"I wonder if he's okay…" Mackenzie whispered.

"Nobody could've survived that…" Scott murmured, but noticed soldier approaching the ground at a dangerous speed, "HOLY COW! THERE HE IS!"

"We won't make it in time…" the BLU soldier sighed as he grew closer and closer to the ground.

"We need to land now…" engineer solemnly said, pulling the plane down, "Even if we do go back, we'd crash."

"There goes the craziest of us all…" Scott muttered under his breath, "The bravest too…"

Everyone removed their hats as soldier disappeared into the trees below.

~0~0~0~

Soldier plummeted towards the forest; he braced himself as branches clawed at his skin. Once he hit the ground, he was met with a warm sensation, almost pleasant. He opened his eyes to see the outstretched hand of a young woman.

"You did well," she was beautiful and serene, and her voice was sweet, "C'mon, mom and dad are waiting for us."

"W-what?" he grunted, as she helped pull him up, he looked down to see himself lying on the ground, "Oh…"

"Let's go." She smiled tenderly as she walked toward a blinding light, "Don't worry, your team won't fail."

"You sure about that?" he asked skeptically.

"I'm positive, brother." she tugged at his hand, "Let's go home…"