I looked for Gerard on the way to school the next day , but I could not seem to find him. In fact, the entire school day he seemed to be missing. Perhaps he had skipped school to-day? That lead my mind to wander into a large downwards spiral. What had happened to him? What if he was dead? I supposed that I would find out at the end of the day when I exited out of the back door.

It was two minutes and twenty-seven seconds exactly until the bell rang to release us of this Hell they call "school." I couldn't take this; the pressure, that is. I still had no plan, hell, I didn't even have and IDEA of what to do. It was almost as if someone had thrown a spool of thread down a bleak hallway and watched as the thread would unwind with each turn. Each day, each minutes, each second creating a new turn. The thread was unraveling more and more until there would only be an empty, white spool halting the process.

One minute. This life was like an hourglass. You could watch as your time slowly, but surely narrowed down. Most of the people chose to go out and make the most of their time. But me? My life had already wasted away. I preferred to sit and watch the sand funnel from the top area to the bottom. Each second allowed many grains of sand to slip down the glass, making me freer and freer. One day the glass would be empty, as would my body. However, I felt already empty. I felt as if my life was already gone. This was why I needed to save Gerard. I loved him. He deserved to savor each grain of sand. He deserved so much more.

Thirty seconds. There is no one. There is no one left to help me. I'm gone. Dead. Left behind. But Gerard, he has someone. That someone is me. I only had thirty seconds before the gates would be open, and the tiger would be released to attempt and devouring its prey. The only question? Was the challenger smarter? Was he more cunning? I needed to be smarter, slyer, faster.

Ten seconds. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In. How did it go again? Oh, yes; out. Count the seconds… eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two… One-

BRIIING.

I couldn't feel my feet beneath me. The ground felt like air. Maybe I was flying, maybe I was insane; I wasn't quite sure. All I knew was that my feet were dragging me out the back door before I could tell them to turn around. The ugly hallways were blurred in my mind. All I could see was that little forbidden door at the end of the flooring. I needed it. I needed to be outside of it. I was determined.

I am not sure why getting out this door was such an ordeal. I suppose when you finally feel as if you have a purpose in this life, it makes you a bit crazy. I wasn't just crazy, however. I was crazy with determination; the determination to get answers. I had questions and goddammit I was going to get answers.

My breath caught in my throat as I practically fell through the door. So much for having a cover, I suppose. The sheer velocity of the rate at which I burst through the door caused my to fall the concrete ground once outside. Considering the fact that I only had a thin strip of brick wall to hide behind, I struggled to get up and try not to expose myself to whoever would be out there waiting for Gerard.

"Aye!" I heard a voice yell. I froze in fear. Someone had seen me!

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath. It took me a few mintues, but I slowly realized how incredibly screwed I was. The owner of the voice wasn't just some druggie that Gerard had probably had the opportunity to engage in conversation with. This was… James.

"Ger, where ya goin', babe?" he called to me.

'What a fucking ASSHOLE,' I thought to myself. I noted that the little voice in my head was pretty pissed. 'He can't even tell that I'm not Gerard? Who in the world could confuse such an angel like him with such a… well, ugly bastard like me?'

Scrambling to my feet as fast as humanly possible, I slammed back against the little brick wall that I had hid behind the previous day. Maybe he would go away. Yeah, that's it. He wouldn't find me. No way. I'm perfectly safe here; behind this wall.

I guess you could say that my brain was certainly not functioning properly. I had some sort of glitch. Now that I thought about it, I suppose the glitch was always there. It was there in my mother's death, it was there in my grandparents' furnace room, and it was there for every other terrible incident I had occurred. I believe that the glitch was even what brought upon the idea to stay alive for Gerard. You see, the 'glitch' was like a sort of mental Novocain. It soothed me. It calmed my brain, heart, veins, eyes, ears, and bones. It helped me manage.

"Aye!" James' voice cut in, battling with my glitch. The voice was trying to break through the barrier of comfort that my mental Novocaine supplied. I knew the glitch wouldn't last, it never did, but it helped. A little help can most definitely go a long way in situations like this.

I started to shiver against the wall as I felt his footsteps draw near to me. Each step frightened me and I felt the comfort slowly wash away. My breath was caught in my throat and I knew that soon enough James would round the corner, figure out that I was not Gerard, and kill me.

"Babe?" he questioned one last time, before reaching my hiding spot and looking a bit confused. His facial expression showed me that he was certainly shocked, which I did not blame him for.

"Well, who do we have here? You aren't GerGer," he smirked with a disgusting suggestiveness.

I cautiously replied, "No…."

He stepped forwards and placed one of his beefy fingers on my waist. I watched as he wet his lips and bit the lower. He leaned in to my ear and whispered, "But I sure as hell might take you home instead."

I tried my hardest to push him off. "It seems as though you're expecting someone?"

"Forget about him, babe. Just another customer. Wanna be next in line?"

I whined in fear as he pressed his lips to my neck. He was so much stronger than me, what could I do? I pushed and fought, but he never seemed to get discouraged.

"I'll reward you if you do well, pet." He cooed into my ear. It wasn't a nice coo, however. It was a venomously whoring coo.

"Get off!" I yelled, struggling once more to push him off of my neck. He wouldn't budge an inch.

Against my skin, he laughed and retorted, "Not until I'm done, I won't. I'm gonna make you scream."

He pushed me against the schoolyard brick wall and pinned me there, unable to escape. I closed my eyes tight, so I wouldn't have to see his hideous face that wanted to bad to abuse me. The darkness of my eyelids also helped me to think a bit whilst James bit and pulled at the skin under my chin.

Soon enough, he had trailed his way up to my cheek and over to my lips. He forced his tongue into my mouth and displayed all of his violent lust on me. The movements were so harsh and sharp it felt as though I might bleed. Without warning, he grabbed my hand and moved it to his… lower regions, I suppose you could call it. I gasped in my mouth from utter shock and disgust, but he took it the complete opposite way and moaned into my throat.

It was then when I zoned out and weighed my options. It appeared that I currently had three. One; kick him in the balls and run like hell. I'd run to Gerard's house and tell him everything and confess my love and we'd defeat James together. Two; kick him in the balls, run like hell, and then devise what I would do next in the comfort of my own home. Or three; go home with James and find out what he does to Gerard practically every night.

It did seem that I had quite the predicament. I began to evaluate the options that I had laid out for myself. With my mental pencil in my mental hand, I put a big, thick line through Number One. I mean, come on. That was ridiculous. That left me with the two more sensible choices.

I had the absolute perfect opportunity to just knee him and run. I could have time and time was valuable. I could think up a proper plan that would have a checklist and steps. I found that I quite liked checklists. They seemed to organize things and put them in a sensible manor. However, sometimes plot twists or surprise attacks changed the order of lists. Right now, there seemed to be a lot of surprises.

Then again, I wanted to know how Gerard was "rewarded" and what exactly took place at these "appointments" with James. I only had a very vague idea that highlighted one certain term: "rape." It wouldn't be that terrible for me. I had been raped plenty of times by my own flesh and blood. I knew how it worked and what to do, no matter how sad and disturbing that was to think about. I could give James what he wanted easy-peasy pumpkin-peasy. In return, and also without knowing it, he would give me precisely what I needed; information.

I put both choices on a little mental scale that I had created in my head and weighed them. I watched inside my mind as the scale tilted back and forth, a bit unsure of where to land. Eventually, the machine stopped swaying and told me what I was to do. I actually ended up smiling at the fact that I, of all people, was about to use, trick, and manipulate people to extract from them exactly what I needed. I was going to get what I wanted, and to make sure, I was going to put on a damn good show.

With my choice made, I zoned back into my life and noticed that James was acquiring a problem that I would have to fix. I hated him with every square inch of my body and I would let him know exactly how much I did.

With as much force as I could muster, plus the grand element of surprise, I turned us around so that James was the one pinned to the wall. I cruelly attacked him with my mouth biting and pulling and snapping at his skin in a way that I knew would make him bleed and feel pain, but also in a way that drove him even more insane with lust. He wanted it and he would pay.

I licked up his neck and bit him with my messily clamping jaws. I was aware that he would only feel pain as I drove my teeth in so deep that it drew crimson from his skin. I also used cunning and intelligence to figure that he enjoyed the agonizing feelings. After all, it didn't take a genius to figure that one out.

I led him on with ease and perfection. I could guess that some might call me a professional, even though my experience had come from all the wrong places. I enjoyed inflicting hurt to him, however. It felt good and strong to be the one in charge. I was in control and I was going to get whatever the fuck I wanted. And right now I wanted answers, and the only way to get those was sex. I would pay the price. Gerard was worth a little struggle. I'd rip out my own heart with no questions asked and serve it on a plate for him if he would ever choose to ask.

I groped and tangled and grinded myself around James, making his brain cloud up. I could tell that it was working and I smiled in satisfaction of my success. I whispered for him to take me home, I'd love to be his next customer. He sang out, "Mmmm," in response.

This would work. It would work flawlessly. No matter the consequences, I could do this, and I would do this. I would do this for Gerard, even if I come back fucked-up and half-dead. This was going to work.