Ch. 26: Minor revelations

He didn't have a destination in mind, he just wanted to walk until he was tired enough to sleep.

Coming back to the lab had been hard. The king had stayed with Gaster for a little while and that had made it a little bit easier but still. It had been hard and there really was no way to change that. Gaster had been restless since returning yesterday and hadn't been able to properly relax or get a good rest yet. He was glad for Cadis' company, the dog guard's presence had helped to keep him distracted from the inevitable distress and disappointment at once again being confined to the lab. But there was one thing that he clung to that helped even more.

He and the king were family now. It was strange but in a way it felt like nothing had really changed. Like that was the way it had already been and they had just needed to say the words themselves. But saying it out loud made it feel all the more solid, all the more real. The king had been important to him for a long time but to know for certain that the king felt the same, it filled his soul with a happiness he had never known he could feel. And the king had made him a promise. There would be more trips after this one. Many more.

That had definitely made it a little bit easier when the king had left. Gaster didn't know how long it would be before the king would take him away again but he could wait for this, he could be patient. The king had promised him and he could be content with the certainty of it, even if he didn't know when it would be.

Right now though what he really needed was to be exhausted enough to get a truly restful sleep. Unfortunately part of the problem with that was how much energy he had now. Gaster never would have thought that he would be frustrated by being unable to just pass out but he had certainly been hoping that he would be more than just tired after how long he had been walking so far. He thought about running, trying to pull more energy from his soul like he had before but he decided against it. He didn't know if he could without being desperate for it and he didn't want to push far enough to need an injection to recover anyway, that would defeat the point of using up the energy in the first place.

Gaster and Cadis walked in silence for a while. Gaster chose halls and turns at random, not really paying much attention to where they were going but still somewhat keeping in mind where his room was so that when he was finally tired enough to sleep it wouldn't take too long to return. After rounding a corner he stopped abruptly to avoid running over Sidd, who was standing just beyond it.

The wide eyed assistant gave a him slight bow, "adviser Gaster." Cadis was forced to stop as short as Gaster had with how near the corner Sidd had been standing. Sidd turned to the dog guard once he rounded the corner as well, "sentry Cadis."

Cadis huffed slightly at the gingerbread assistant, "do you do this just for the pup or do you wait lurking for whoever happens to cross your path?"

Sidd didn't answer Cadis as he produced a syringe from his pocket. Gaster frowned at it slightly for a moment, not pulling down the collar of his sweater. The last thing he needed right now was more energy to try to burn off. After a moment he signed, 'not right now.'

After a few seconds Sidd turned his head to look at the syringe he held in his hand before turning back to look at Gaster again, "why not?"

Gaster glanced at Cadis, who was looking at him with slightly more concern than he had already. 'Tired, want to sleep,' Gaster fidgeted with his hands for a moment. Sidd could be a very persistent monster, Gaster hoped that he would listen. 'Too much energy already.'

Sidd stared at him for a few long moments before he slipped the syringe back into his pocket.

'Thank you.'

Sidd gave a nod to that and when Gaster and Cadis stepped around him to continue down the hall he trailed after them.

Gaster didn't pay him much mind as they walked, it wasn't unusual for Sidd to follow them around for a while after he gave Gaster his injection. Gaster's thoughts turned to the syringes, he hadn't had a chance to ask Sidd if he would be able to access them with his level of clearance. Sidd would usually answer what he asked, even if it was in a roundabout way. Gaster might even get the assistant to tell him where they were kept.

He glanced at Cadis, he didn't really want to ask in front of anyone. Even asking might make Sidd suspicious but it was something he had to ask, and this was about as private as he was going to get for the question. But he would ask a few other questions before, another few after. Don't let it stand out or draw attention.

Gaster slowed a little as he glanced back at Sidd, after a moment he gestured for the assistant to walk next to him. Sidd tilted his head to the side as he watched Gaster, after a few seconds he moved forward to walk next to Gaster opposite of Cadis.

Gaster returned Sidd's wide eyed stare with a curious expression as he thought about how to word his questions. 'Where does liquid magic come from?'

Gaster watched Sidd as he waited the unusual amount of time it normally took for the assistant to respond. "Liquid magic is distilled and concentrated from the same magic crops that our food is harvested from." Sidd seemed to study Gaster's curious and eager expression for a few long moments before going on. "The specific crop used is unimportant due to the process of liquidation and purification. Most often whatever is currently in surplus is used."

Gater tilted his head as he considered what Sidd had said. 'Does anyone else use them? Or just me?'

Sidd answered after a few moments, "not actively but they are standardly used as temporary assistance for those too sick or injured to eat normally."

Gaster gave a nod to that, 'how much energy is in the injections compared to food?'

Sidd glanced over to Cadis before returning his gaze to Gaster, "the amount of energy in one of the doses you receive would be enough to sustain a monster of sentry Cadis' size for three days."

Cadis let out a soft whistle, "really that much? But the pup gets several of them a day."

Gaster glanced at Cadis, taking a moment to compare his own size to Cadis'. The dog guard was a head and half taller than him and just a little bit wider, but he was also much more solid than Gaster was. Gaster turned back to Sidd again, 'how long for a monster my size?'

Sidd answered a bit quicker than before, as he sometimes did once he was engaged deeply enough in a conversation. "Taking into account the different physical makeup and density as well as unusual soul strength, approximately five days."

Gaster glanced down as he took that in, for a long while after he had first met the king he had been given three or four injections a day to help boost his health. More recently though he was back down to two injections for most days and it definitely felt like his body retained the energy much more than it used to. After every alignment bath he felt noticeably better and stronger than he had before but if the injections were supposed to last him that long then he was still a long ways off from being as healthy as he could be.

Not that he hadn't already known that but putting some numbers to how far he had come helped to give his progress a sense of scale. It helped to make it feel like there was an end destination that he could reach. A point at which he would finally be just . . . fine. Healthy. Normal.

Gaster was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost forgot to ask the next question. 'Where are the injections kept?'

"Storage room seven."

Gaster managed to keep most of the frown he felt from his face but he couldn't help but let out a soft sigh, that was beyond the area his collar would let him reach. It never was easy. He hesitated before asking his next question. 'Will I always need them?'

Sidd tilted his head slightly to the side, "once the connection between your body and soul is strong enough food will be enough to sustain you, however supplements will always be more efficient."

Gaster gave a nod to that as he thought, if he actually ever got to the point where he needed so few he wouldn't need to gather nearly as many as he had thought he would need to in order to escape . . . but he couldn't leave the king.

Gaster missed a step as the full true contradiction of those two lines of thought hit him hard. He stumbled slightly as he caught himself and he forced his suddenly tense body to keep moving.

"Are you alright pup?"

'Fine,' Gaster signed absently as he stared hard at the floor. The possibility of escape had always been remote, as much as he had never allowed himself to admit it he had always known that it would be unlikely. A far off goal that he had clung to and fought for with everything he had even if it was nearly impossible. It had always been the best possible future he could hope for, the only future he could hope for . . . and now it wasn't.

Gaster slid his hand up to grip his collar, he couldn't live without the king . . . but he needed to be free. He needed it.

The king had said that he was only here to get better, did that mean that once he was healthy he could leave? But what if he never got better? What if he was never healthy enough to leave? Would the king make him stay forever? No, no he wouldn't . . . he couldn't. Not after he'd had a taste of freedom, however short it had been. The trips would be enough for now but not if he was going to stay here forever. He could be content with what he had, he could wait for true freedom to be given to him if he knew for certain it would be his.

But as long as he wore this collar freedom was not guaranteed. He was still at the doctor's mercy no matter the king's intentions. What if the doctor didn't let him leave either? The doctor was only helping him for his own goals. If those fell through who knew what the doctor would do. Gaster knew that the king barely had the doctor in line as it was.

But even if everything else worked out, no matter how good everything else got . . . he wouldn't be able to stop fighting to be free. He hoped beyond anything else that he could truly rely on his freedom to be given to him. If he was forced to choose between the king and being free . . . he didn't know if he could live with loosing either.

Gaster tried to quiet his thoughts, tried to slow the rapid beating of his soul as he took deep even breaths. Things would just continue as they had been. He had already been prepared to wait years for freedom long before he had met the king. Surely with the pace he was making progress at he would be far healthier than he was now long before then. The king wouldn't make him stay if he got healthy.

The more Gaster thought about it the more he was sure. More likely than anything else one day he would leave this place with the king and never have to come back. He calmed as he took comfort in that thought. The king was his family, the king wouldn't leave him here.

But Gaster wouldn't stop collecting syringes as he waited. He couldn't even if he wanted to.