Author's Note: I am quite proud of this chapter and so I hope you all like it. Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter and remember to review this chapter or else you have to wait longer for the next one, which is already half written :) Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-Four
Pregnant
Peyton POV
"What does it say?" I didn't have the energy to get up and look. I already knew the answer but it couldn't hurt at this point to at least take the test.
"It's positive." Savannah held the god forsaken pee stick in front of my face and I almost puked all over her hand.
"Gross Savannah, I peed on that."
"I should be the one grossed out. I'm holding it after you peed on it." She went back into the bathroom and threw it away then came back and jumped onto the bed, landing and laying right next to me, "So, we already knew that. Now what?"
"Well, I guess I have to tell Xander next." I sighed and turned over to lay on my back and she did the same, "Is he going to hate me?"
"No." Savannah scoffed, "He couldn't be any more in love with you or else the world would implode or something… I don't know what I'm saying but you get my point. My brother is head over heels for you. Hell, he asked you to marry him didn't he?"
We had this conversation before. The one where I explain that while I knew Xander loved me, I was not sure of his reaction to having a baby right now.
"So you're what? 8 weeks pregnant now?" Savannah asked.
"Yeah."
"Well let's look it up online." Savannah jumped up and grabbed her laptop from the desk in the corner of the room, bringing it back to the bed where I sat up to look, "Week 8. The little one has a heartbeat now, and this pregnancy week is safe for getting the first ultrasound of different stages of pregnancy trimester. You may face problems like acne and rashes due to hormone changes, but they're just temporary."
I sighed. That sounded about right.
"The first trimester, which you are a little past halfway through, is marked by tenderness of breasts, tiredness, morning sickness, which can happen any time of the day, headaches, frequent urination, and others." Savannah looked at me and I nodded, having experienced all of the above already, "Ok Peyton, we have to get you in to see a doctor. It says specifically at this trimester, you have to be very particular about prenatal care and your nutrition. In addition to this, you should exercise regularly keeping the safety of your baby in mind. Remember; a healthy mother gives birth to a healthy baby."
"I'm still cheering. That's exercise, right?"
Savannah huffed, setting the computer to the side and looking me straight in the eyes.
"Look, I know that you are scared. Honestly, I couldn't imagine being pregnant right now. At 18, which I will be next week in case you were keeping track, um… yeah, at 18, the last thing you want to be thinking about is having a baby. I know you are scared about telling Xander but here's the thing. He's in Spain. So right now is the perfect time to go to the doctor, I'll go with you, find out your options, and we'll get through it. You always have me and I'm sure Cammie, and Brooke, and even Bevin would want to help you through this too. We love you and so does Xander. I promise you, as his sister who knows almost everything there is to know about him, he is going to be super excited about this baby. Probably a little nervous, just like you are, but super happy."
I took a deep breath and then fell backwards, covering my face with a pillow as I screamed loudly.
"Uh… Savannah?" Nathan knocked on the bedroom door and looked at me curiously then back to Savannah, "Can I ask a favor of you?"
"Currently I am in Peyton Crisis mode but I can be available around 8 pm to switch to Nathan Crisis mode, is it urgent?"
"It's not a crisis. I was just gonna ask if you will go with me to the meet with the lawyer tomorrow to file my divorce papers."
"Oh." Savannah slumped, "That."
He smiled at her. She gave me a distraught look. I shrugged.
"Nathan, are you sure you want to go through with that?" She motioned for him to come sit with us on the bed, "I mean, don't you think that maybe you at least want to talk to Haley first? I know what she did was wrong and I am completely on your side and behind you supporting you 100 for any decision you make, but it just seems hasty, you know?"
"How can you defend her?" Nathan shook his head almost angrily, "After what she did to you and then just leaving? She doesn't deserve my time, energy, or thoughts Savannah."
"I'm not defending her Nate. God knows, I am definitely not defending her. Trust me, I am there with you on not liking Haley."
"I hate her." Nathan said simply.
"Nate, you don't…" Savannah started.
"I do."
"Ok fine, you hate her. If you feel that strongly about it, then yes, I will go to the lawyer with you tomorrow I just worry about you Nate and I don't want you to make any decisions you are going to regret, you know?"
"I know." Nathan leaned over and kissed her temple, "I will not regret this. I am over Haley."
"You're not over her." Savannah sighed, "But feel free to argue with me on that too since I'm only your best friend who you tell everything and who is the one there to pick up the pieces of the furniture, light fixtures, and windows you smash when you're pissed off about something, usually Haley in particular."
I had heard about Nathan's temper and how easily he got pissed off since Haley had left him three weeks ago. I had witnessed the smashed window but I didn't know what furniture he had broken since we had come back from New York.
"Someone who is over someone else does not break stuff when they're angry about the situation with that other person." Savannah leaned her head on Nathan's shoulder and squeezed his arm, "I love you Nate. You're my best friend and I just want what's best for you."
"I know." Nathan sighed, "Lawyer, tomorrow. I am positive it is the first step in the right direction for me."
Nathan patted Savannah's knee, turned to smile at me, then stood and headed for the door.
"Okay, thank you for that pep talk. Go back to Peyton Crisis mode."
Nathan disappeared and Savannah turned back to me.
"Sorry, I just… I worry about him."
"I know." I smiled as she pouted.
"Anyway," She perked back up immediately, "Peyton, we need to make a doctor's appointment for you."
"Ok." I nodded, knowing I had to come to term with my situation eventually, "There is Planned Parenthood over on 7th. I will call to make the appointment tomorrow if you promise to go with me and please, don't say anything to Xander yet."
"I promise." Savannah stuck out her pinky and pinky swore to her promise, "Honestly, I'm kind of excited about being an aunt. I've never really had to take care of a baby before."
"Me either, not a tiny baby. I mean… I helped Jake with Jenny but she was already 8 months old."
"Ah yes, Jake. Tell me about him because I hear about him a lot but have never met him. Why? He sounds hot."
I had to laugh as Savannah growled like she wanted to devour something.
"Jake was… amazing. He um, he got this girl pregnant in his sophomore year and when she gave birth to Jenny, she left which meant he was left with this beautiful baby girl. And none of us knew about her for a long time. I mean, Jake played basketball and hung out with all of us but we never even realized that he had a kid until like halfway through junior year he brings her to this open mic night we had at Karen's and after that, I don't know, we just kind of hit it off. I baby sat a couple times and even though there was some drama with the baby mama, I fell in love with him. That's why he had to leave though."
"Because you loved him?"
"No." I smiled, "No, the drama with the baby mama. Nikki. She was trying to get custody of Jenny so Jake left. He got out of town and we haven't heard from him since which is good I guess. I mean, hopefully that means he still has Jenny and Nikki hasn't found them."
Savannah nodded.
"Did you love him more than you love Xander?"
She looked like she didn't really want to ask the question, clearly afraid of the answer as it was her brother we were talking about here.
"No." I answered honestly, "Absolutely not. The connection Xander and I have is on so many different, more emotional levels. I mean, a year ago, if you had told me I was going to be engaged and pregnant half way through senior year, I would have told you that you were crazy."
"Especially because you didn't know me a year ago." Savannah joked.
"Right." I laughed with her, "No seriously, I love Xander. Jake and I had something special for a short time and I would never take that back, just like I wouldn't take back what Nathan and I had or what Lucas and I had because those things shaped me into who I am today."
"Girl, you get around." Savannah smiled and then reached over to hug me, "I'm glad you're going to be my sister-in-law and not like… I don't know. I love Bevin but… oh my god, sometimes the girl is so ditzy!"
"Bevin's not as stupid as she seems." I defended her.
"No, I know." Savannah nodded, "She helped me with a calculus problem the other day and like, I don't want to sound conceited, but I know calculus. I could not figure this stupid problem out and Bevin was just like 'oh, this is how you do it.' And it was right!"
I laughed.
"It just shows you that sometimes people are not what you think." Savannah grinned, "Ugh, I have a photo shoot this weekend."
"The beginning of your portfolio huh?"
"Yep." Savannah nodded, "I guess it's a good thing I decided to do the modeling thing since I don't have basketball anymore which I miss so much. I haven't really said anything to anyone but Peyt, I miss basketball like I would miss breathing if my breath was taken away."
"Yeah, I know. I think we all know but no one wanted to say anything because we didn't want to make you think about it."
"Yeah…" Savannah sighed, "Anyway, the idea behind this photo shoot this weekend is like high glamour, lots of fur. Just very luxurious and it was all the photographer's idea. Her name is Carlyne Cerf de Dudzeele or… something like that. I hear she's a really great photographer though."
"Where are you shooting it?"
"Downtown. It should be fun, I just hope I don't suck."
"You will not suck." I smiled over at her, "Hey, thanks for getting my mind off the whole… baby thing. I've kind of been growing crazy cause I didn't really want to believe it and so I didn't talk about it."
"No problem. What are future sister-in-laws for?"
"I guess you're right." I agreed, "Who can I talk to if I can't talk to you? I mean, you solve everyone's problems."
"Hah!" Savannah rolled her eyes, "Everyone's but my own."
"You have problems? Spill. I'd love to know that you're not as perfect as I thought you were."
Savannah sighed loudly.
"I hate being single." She said simply, "I hate it. Like… Bryan was my first boyfriend. I was 14 and he was 16 and we dated until I was 16 and he was 18. Literally, right after he broke up with me I was so heartbroken I like poured myself into this relationship with Jackson who shattered my heart into a million tiny pieces and then I got kicked out of school, shipped to North Carolina and tada! I get here and I divulge in Lucas who was a nice way to spend three months but since then, we're talking almost 4 months now, I've only had sex once and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm like, one of those girls, who doesn't know who she is unless she's with someone."
"That's not true." I disagreed, "You are Savannah Carter. You are amazing at basketball. You're gorgeous. You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. You have a heart of gold. You care for everyone around you immensely, making sure that each and every one of your friends know that you are there for them 110 when they need you and you never ever take anything for yourself. You are like the least selfish person I know."
"Aww, thanks Peyton." Savannah hugged me gently, "I appreciate all that but, I don't see it in myself. It's like, people telling me all the time how hot I am, I don't see it. I'm just a normal girl. Like when Matthew wanted me to model, I was like why? I'm just me you know? But I feel beautiful when I'm with someone. Like Bryan, he used to make me feel like the only girl in the world. The only beautiful person anywhere."
"Maybe you should try to make things work with him. I know we haven't had a lot of time to just sit and talk like this since New York, especially with all the Nathan and Haley drama, you've had other things to focus on, but you and Bryan seem good together. He adores you."
"Yeah, but he has one singular goal in mind and that is to be a lawyer. Until he is a lawyer, he will not seriously date anyone and with Bryan, I'm not interested in less. I mean, yeah, the one night in New York is one thing but I went into that knowing 100 that was what it was. It was one night and we wouldn't talk again until we happened to cross paths. If we were trying to be like, friends with benefits or something, and I had to pretend on a daily basis that I didn't want more, I wouldn't be able to do it."
"Then date someone at school. There are other boys in the school other than the Scott brothers. And you can also try looking outside basketball."
"No." Savannah shook her head, "No, there's too much going on with school already and I have the friends I want. Our group is great the way it is."
"But there are no single guys in our group. I mean, there's Nathan, but he's not really single yet and he's also Nathan. He's probably going to be pissed off forever over this whole Haley fiasco. She really was everything to him. She was so good for him. Have we ever mentioned to you how much of a jackass he was before her?"
"I've heard." Savannah sighed, "He'll get over her eventually. I mean, I got over Jackson."
"You said it yourself, Jackson was a rebound hookup. You needed him to get over Bryan but in case you haven't noticed, you're not over Bryan." I pointed out, "You never really get over true love."
"That's depressing." Savannah pouted, "I don't want to live thinking that the best I'll ever have was Bryan who I know for a fact I will not get back."
"Hi friends!" Brooke bounded into Savannah's room suddenly, "What are you doing?"
"Talking."
Savannah and I both looked up at Brooke with smiles.
"Guess what I'm doing? Shopping. Wanna come?"
"Shopping is good." Savannah looked at me, "Peyton?"
I shook my head no.
"Nauseous."
"Oh." Savannah nodded.
"Peyton, you have to chill with this whole flu virus thing. You've been sick for weeks. When are you going to go to the doctor?" Brooke asked, clearly concerned.
"I'm making the appointment tomorrow." I was making the appointment alright, just not for the kind of doctor Brooke thought.
"Good. So, can I steal Savannah? I desperately need a shopping buddy."
"Yes, you may steal Savannah."
Savannah was grinning at the thought of going shopping.
"Have fun." I told them.
"We will." Savannah grabbed her purse and sunglasses from her nightstand, "You need me to get you anything?"
"No." I smiled at her, "Thanks for offering."
"No problem. Call us if you need us."
I agreed and then they were off leaving me on Savannah's bed with a laptop on the bed next to me, a TV on the wall in front of me, and a phone on the nightstand by the other side of the bed. There were so many choices for what to do. All I knew is that I was exhausted and I just wanted to relax.
Several hours later I woke up surrounded by shopping bags from the mall, the TV on but muted as Savannah stood a few feet away, chatting animatedly on her cell phone.
"Of course I would come see you in Chapel Hill Bryan I just… No. Stop that. Quit making me feel guilty. Almost two years I go without seeing you. We have sex once in New York City and now all of a sudden I'm your regular booty call? No. You do not have that privilege."
This was a very interesting conversation, even one sided.
"If you want me then I'm willing but I want the whole package. Exclusivity. You and me only. I want the romance and the… love. If we are going to hook up again, I want it to be like it used to be." Savannah paused, "Fine. If you don't want that then fine, but you're also not getting a booty call."
She slammed her phone shut, stomped the floor a few times and turned around like she was about to scream when she saw me smiling at her from my perch on her bed.
"Hi." She smiled back sweetly, cancelling out the fit she was throwing, "This is all your fault. I took your advice and I tried and… well, it didn't go well, but I don't blame you. I still love you I'm just… frustrated."
"I'm sorry." I pouted with her as she joined me on the bed, pushing all the bags to the side, "What is all this stuff?"
"Well, it's… stuff. I bought a new comforter and sheet set for my bed because I wanted one." She pulled out a purple satin comforter that was almost styled like it was from India and a pair of matching sheets from a huge Macy's bag, "And then I bought clothes."
She began pulling out piles of clothes from several of the bags, all from different stores.
"This, I actually bought for you." She held up a shirt that was an olive green color. It was sleeveless and the straps were twisted kind of in Greek style. It was a very soft cotton and styled with an empire waist, "It's maternity, but it doesn't look maternity so I was able to sneak it in without Brooke noticing. I thought you might like it, especially in a few months when you start showing."
"Thank you." I hugged her and she hugged back.
"I saw so much baby stuff that I wanted to buy. Oh my God, I can't wait until you tell everyone so that I can start shopping. Your baby is going to be the most spoiled child on the face of the earth."
I laughed.
"I guess I'm ok with that."
"You don't really have a choice." Savannah countered, "Ahh… well, retail therapy would have been awesome had it been after I had that phone call with Bryan."
"I'm sorry." I repeated my earlier sentiment, "It could still work. Give him the night then call him again tomorrow and see if he changed his mind."
"Have you met Camille?"
"Uh… yeah."
"Bryan is Camille in the form of a male meaning he is stubborn as hell and incredibly resolved to do what he wants to do despite the reasoning against his point of view. I don't know if you have experienced that side of Camille yet but it is the part that sucks."
"Sounds like it." I sighed, "Well, like I said, you can always embrace the rest of the male student body. Didn't Skillz have a crush on you at the beginning of school?"
"Yeah, but I think he's into Bevin actually. I saw them flirting by her locker at school earlier."
"Oh, I see." I laughed, "You have really bad luck in the men department."
"I know." This time Savannah sighed, "Oh well, that's why God invented credit cards. Shopping is my companion."
"I don't think God invented credit cards."
"Yes he did. Shut up." Savannah snapped playfully, "Alright, I need to throw all these clothes in the dry cleaning pile because I refuse to wear them before they get dry cleaned."
"How much is your dry cleaning bill? You dry clean everything!"
"It's like 1000 a month." She shrugged, "Again, credit cards. I love God and I love my Dad. Oh, I talked to Xander. He said he tried to call you but you didn't answer which I'm assuming is because you were sleeping. He wanted me to tell you that he will be in town this weekend and would like to have dinner with you and your dad Saturday night."
"That sounds so formal. Like I'm scheduling in time for my fiancé." I rolled my eyes, "Ok, I'll call him later."
"Good idea. Maybe… you can tell him and your dad about the baby at the same time!" Savannah giggled and disappeared into her bathroom, "I think that I am going to drive to Chapel Hill after my photo shoot."
"To see Bryan?"
"To kill him." Savannah reappeared now with her hair tied up in a bun and changed into her pajamas, "You wanna spend the night? You still look pretty tired."
"No." I grabbed my phone and noticed it was already 8 pm, "I better get home. My dad will be worrying."
"Ah, to have parents that worry." Savannah plopped on the bed and grabbed the TV remote, "Want me to walk you to your car?"
"No. You're comfortable. Stay that way. I will see you at school tomorrow."
"Ok." Savannah hugged me, "Be good. Take care of yourself."
"Will do." I headed out of her room and down the hall to go downstairs when something in one of the spare bedrooms caught my eye.
I backed up a little and peaked in to see Nathan sitting on the bed, his head in his hands and his body shaking as if he were crying. I had never really dealt with a crying Nathan, so this would be a first, but I couldn't just leave him that way.
"Nathan?" I knocked lightly on the door and it swung open enough for me to ease inside.
Nathan's head snapped up and immediately I saw he was indeed crying. He quickly wiped away the tears.
"Hey, you ok?"
"I'm fine." He lied.
"Are you sure? I can see you crying and since I've never seen you cry, I'm guessing it's serious." I went over and sat next to him on the bed, "Is it Haley?"
"Sort of." He admitted and sighed, "I just… I never expected it to end this way Peyton. You know? I always just thought we would be together forever or at least if we weren't there would be a legitimate reason for it you know? I didn't do anything and she just walked out! How does a person do that?"
"I don't know." I replied, "I don't know how she could have done that. Can I tell you something though?"
Nathan nodded.
"The day we found out about the whole Haley situation, when you, Lucas, and Savannah had come back here while the rest of us were in New York, we went to breakfast. And at breakfast Camille said something which kind of offended all of us, although I can see why she said it, but anyway, she said that Haley was being retarded if she couldn't listen to reason and get over it and that even if you had cheated, it would have been her fault because she was so jealous all the time."
"Camille said that?"
"Yeah but you know what Xander said back?"
"What?"
"He told Camille to put herself in Haley's shoes and imagine if you saw the love of your life was calling you but when you answer the phone, instead you hear sex on the other end. Whether it is actually your loved one on the other end or someone else, by the time you know the truth, your heart has shattered, and maybe… just maybe because I promise I am not sticking up for the way she handled things at all, but maybe that's what happened. Her heart was shattered to the point that she couldn't understand reason. She couldn't listen to an explanation."
Nathan looked like he was contemplating my words.
"I know you and I know that your heart is in a trillion pieces right now because of how Haley handled things. In your current condition, if Haley came back and apologized and had a really plausible explanation for why she had gone, you couldn't listen to reason could you? You couldn't forgive her?"
"No. I'll never forgive her." Nathan said.
"I don't think she has a good explanation, other than, her heart was in a trillion pieces too, so despite the fact that it was actually not you on the other end of that phone, her heart was already shattered and it is hard to put a shattered heart back together."
"I guess that makes sense." Nathan sighed, "It doesn't change the fact that leaving the way she did was heartless and cold and I will not ever forgive her, no matter what, but I guess I could understand a little bit better the reasoning behind it."
I smiled at him and reached over to hug him gently.
"You're gonna be fine Nathan and if divorce is what you think is best, I support you in that. You have all of us, your friends, behind you in whatever decision you make."
"Thanks Peyton." Nathan took a deep breath and wiped away the last remnants of his tears, "What time is it?"
"8:15." I responded easily.
"Ah, it's Savannah chill time." Nathan stood and helped me up.
"Savannah chill time?" I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion.
"Yes. Every night, around 8, we crawl into her bed… don't look at me like that. It's innocent." He laughed at my now raised eyebrows, "Anyway, we get into her bed and watch TV or talk or do homework. Whatever it is, we just chill together. It's like bonding time."
"That is… interesting." I laughed and headed out the door of his room, "Well, have fun. I know she's already watching TV cause I just left there and um, I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"See you at school tomorrow."
I said goodbye to Camille and Tim who were watching TV in the living room while they made out on the couch and then headed out to my car. My house wasn't that far away but it took me ten minutes to get there anyway. When I pulled up Lucas was just kissing Brooke goodnight at the door which was a little weird, since I was pretty sure Brooke had been at the mall with Savannah only 30 minutes ago.
"Alright, break it up." I approached them at the front door and Lucas turned to me with a guilty grin, "Just kidding. I just need to get through then you can go back to sucking face."
Brooke giggled a little while she and Lucas moved away from the front door.
"Hey Peyton?" Lucas called out to me before I opened the door.
I stopped and turned to face him.
"You ok? You seem distracted. Is there anything you want to talk about?"
"I'm fine." It was half true, "Thanks for asking but you two go back to making out. I'm just gonna go inside and talk to my dad."
"He's not here." Lucas responded quickly and I frowned, "He's out with my mom."
"Oh." I smiled, thinking about how happy my dad had been since he started dating Karen seriously, "Alright, well, I'll be inside. You two have fun."
I closed the front door behind me, sighing, and beginning the trek upstairs to my bedroom. I flipped on the light and looked around me at the walls decorated with my artwork. The webcam was on like it always was which meant for the weird people who still liked to watch me, the show had just begun.
I went into my closet and found the RATT album Lucas had given me awhile back, setting it to play quietly, then flopping down on my bed and pulling out my phone to call Xander. It was 2:00 am in Spain so I hoped he wasn't sleeping.
"Hey beautiful." Xander answered sleepily after a few rings, "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I fell asleep in Savannah's bed. Sorry I missed your call."
"It's ok. Did Savannah tell you that I wanted to have dinner with you and your dad this weekend?"
"She did." I was still confused about that so I asked, "Why?"
"Because I love you and would like to have a meal with you…" Xander laughed, "What do you mean why?"
"It just sounded weird. Like it was formal or something." I laughed back, "Sorry. I haven't been feeling that good so I'm a little weird."
"You're not feeling good? What's wrong?"
I wanted to just blurt out that I was pregnant. I wanted to tell him but I knew that over the phone when he was so far away would not be a good idea. I must have hesitated too long because he repeated his question.
"Peyton? What's wrong baby?"
"Nothing. I'm fine. I've just been a little sick, like the flu or something." I responded quickly this time, "Really, I'm fine. How are you? How's Spain?"
"Cold." He sighed, "I miss you so much Peyt. I can't wait until you graduate so that I can have you with me all the time."
"Me too." I sighed too, "When are you coming into town this weekend? Do you know yet?"
"Probably sometime Friday as long as nothing changes here between now and then." Xander paused, "Peyton, are you sure something's not bothering you. You sound distant."
"There's just a lot going on with school and Nathan and Haley and midterms…" I lied, "And I miss you so much."
"And you're sick." Xander still didn't sound 100 convinced, "You know what? I'll just come tonight. I can get on the plane within the hour and that way I'm there tomorrow and I can take care of you. They don't need me here that bad."
"No, Xander…" As much as I wanted him here I didn't want him to just drop everything because I was a little sick, which he didn't know stemmed for the child growing inside me, "Really, I'm fine. I'm just tired baby. I should just go to sleep."
"Ok." I couldn't tell if he was hurt because I had told him not to come or if he was just worried about me, "I love you."
"I love you too. I'll call you tomorrow ok? And I'll see you Friday."
"Ok." Xander sighed again, "Have a good night."
"You too."
I hung up before he could ask me anymore questions but suddenly the emotion of it all, the lying to my fiancé, and the realization that in about 7 months I was going to be someone's mother, it all just hit me and I began to sob uncontrollably.
"Peyton?" Brooke knocked on my door but didn't wait for an answer before flinging herself onto the bed and wrapping her arms around me for comfort, "Peyt? What's wrong?"
"I…" I couldn't even talk through my sobs, "I…I'm…"
"It's ok best friend. Calm down first then talk. You don't need to cry. I'm here." Brooke rubbed circles on my back as she continued to hold me to try and soothe me, "Whatever it is, it's gonna be fine."
I shook my head no and pulled back away from her, trying to control my tears.
"I'm…" It was still too hard to talk, "Brooke…"
Brooke looked so worried that it only made me cry harder, not wanting her to be worried about me but not being able to stop my tears.
"You can tell me anything Peyton. What's wrong?"
"I…" I took a deep breath and the tears subsided slightly, "I'm… pregnant."
Brooke's eyes were wide and her mouth had fallen open as she stared at me, clearly not sure what to say.
"Are you… are you sure?" She asked.
I nodded.
"I've been puking for weeks. I haven't had my period in two months. I took a test at Savannah's house and it was positive. I… I'm pregnant." I took another deep breath and waited for Brooke to say something.
"Wow." Brooke was clearly in shock, "Well… why didn't you tell me sooner Peyton? I would have been there for you! We could have taken a test together here. I mean… well… last year, when I wasn't talking to you because of the twisted bitch love triangle, um, I thought I was pregnant too so I've been there. I could have helped you."
"You thought you were pregnant?" I frowned, having never known this before now, "Brooke… why didn't you tell me?"
"I told Lucas and he told his mom but… it was just a scare. I ended up not being pregnant and… it was when we weren't on speaking terms so I just… I almost told you once and then, I was just so angry with you for the whole thing…" Brooke trailed off, "But that's not the point P. Sawyer. I am your best friend. You should have come to me with this. Does Xander know?"
I shook my head no, grabbing a pillow and hugging it while I pulled my knees up to my chest and sighed.
"Who does know? Savannah?"
"And Camille." I shrugged, "I didn't mean for either of them to find out before you or before Xander for that matter. When we were at Savannah's house a couple weeks ago… the night that you guys played strip poker, they kind of just guessed and I don't know, I was still coming to terms with it. I still AM coming to terms with it."
"I'm gonna be Auntie Brooke." Brooke was grinning from ear to ear, "Ok, so how far along are you exactly?"
"8 weeks." I said matter-of-factly, "I'm gonna try to get a doctor's appointment tomorrow so that I can go and like, get taken care of. I'm gonna tell Xander this weekend and… probably my dad too."
"Holy shit." Brooke's eyes got wide again, "Papa Peyton is not going to be happy about this."
"No, but at least he's cool with Xander now. I mean, can you imagine if this was when he didn't even want me to see Xander? He would have killed me! I mean, he still might, but… what else am I supposed to do? It's not like Xander and I can't afford to have a baby and we'll be good parents I think. I mean, I don't know about me, but I think he will be."
"You'll be an awesome mom." Brooke assured me, "You will be. I know it."
"Thanks." I smiled at her and then looked down at my toes, "I'm scared Brooke."
"I know." She moved over to sit next to me and put her arm around me, placing her head on my shoulder, "But just think, now you have me, Savannah, and Camille to lean on and we're going to love you no matter what. And when you tell Xander, he's going to be happy, I know it. He loves you so much."
"That's what everyone keeps saying."
"It's true." Brooke squeezed me gently, "I love you best friend."
"I love you too."
We were still sitting there, hugging each other, when my dad thundered upstairs and knocked on the open door before coming into the room, clearly in a great mood.
"Everything ok?" He asked us both.
"Yeah, we're good." Brooke answered, smiling over at me as I nodded that I was also "good."
"Good. I have news."
"News?" I raised my eyebrows at him and he smiled at me.
"How would you feel, and this is for both of you because Brooke you know that as far as I'm concerned you're my second daughter…"
Brooke giggled happily and got more comfortable on the bed, waiting for the rest of the question.
"How would you both feel if Karen and I were to get married?"
"What?" Brooke immediately blurted, "Oh my God. Then that would make Lucas my sort of but not really step brother because Karen's his mom and you're like my dad but not really my dad and…"
"Brooke." I was smiling over at her, "Calm down. It doesn't make you and Lucas related."
She took a quick breath and then shut her mouth, nodding at me and then at my dad.
"Peyton? How do you feel about it?" My dad turned to me waiting for the reaction I hadn't yet given him.
"I think it's good Dad." I smiled at him and I think this surprised him because he didn't say anything right away, "I mean, I know it's still a new concept for you, but pretty soon, I'm gonna be graduated from high school, and married, and out on my own."
I deliberately left out the part about making him a grandfather.
"It will be good for you to have someone and for Karen too. She's amazing and I really like her. I like that she makes you so happy and when Lucas leaves for college, she'll be alone too. You guys could fix that for each other."
He nodded and a smile began to grow on his face. He looked like he needed a hug so I motioned him to the bed where Brooke and I both wrapped him up in hugs.
"Did you ask her already?" I asked after a few minutes, us all still wrapped up together.
"Tonight." He responded as he pulled away and looked at both of us again, "She said yes."
"This is so exciting!" Brooke squealed, "Oh, I need to call Karen and ask her if I can design her wedding dress."
"Wait until tomorrow Brooke." My dad stopped her just as she jumped for the nearest cell phone, "She has to tell Lucas tonight and I want her to be able to do that peacefully, in case he's not as supportive as you two."
"Oh." Brooke nodded, her smile faltering slightly, "He likes you. I don't think he'll have a problem with it."
"There's a difference between liking someone who is dating your mother and being ok with that person marrying your mother. I just know that he kind of always expected his mom to marry Keith, didn't he?"
Brooke and I looked at each other then back to my dad.
"Yeah." We said at the same time.
My dad sighed, but he couldn't mask that he was still smiling.
"Ok, I'm gonna leave you two alone. I am gonna get some sleep and you two, have school, so you should too."
"It's like 9 o'clock." Brooke laughed but my dad gave her one look and she quickly turned serious, "Bed in ten minutes."
"That's what I like to hear. Goodnight girls."
"Goodnight Dad!" We chorused back, Brooke giggling when my dad turned around and winked before disappearing.
"Wow." Brooke turned to me and crinkled her nose as she laughed, "So you're pregnant and Papa Peyton is engaged to Karen! This has been a very eventful night."
Brooke jumped off the bed and headed for the door, stopping in the door frame to look back at me.
"You gonna be ok or do I need to sleep in here with you tonight?"
"I'm fine." I replied, waving her off, "Go to bed. I think it's probably better that I just have some time to think anyway."
"Alright, goodnight P. Sawyer."
"Goodnight B. Davis."
When Brooke was gone I stood, changing into my pajamas and climbing into bed, leaving the music playing in the background softly as I turned out the light and curled up to go to sleep. My mind began to race about all the new things in my life but before I had a chance to get too engrossed in my thoughts, my phone rang and I reached to grab it. Glancing at the caller ID I saw it was Xander again, so I answered it quickly.
"Hey you. Why aren't you back in bed?" I asked.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" He said which made my heart drop and my voice catch, making it impossible for me to answer, "Peyton?"
"Um…" How could he possibly know? Who had told him?"
"Peyton, answer me. Why didn't you just tell me that you're pregnant?"
"I… how did you find out?" I asked quietly, not ready to answer the question just yet.
He sounded hurt and maybe a little angry. I sat up in bed, already scared of where this conversation was going.
"When you want to have personal conversations with your best friend, you should turn off the webcam. I can read lips pretty well."
I looked up at the webcam, still recording my every move, and again I reminded myself that the thing was evil and I should never have turned it back on from a year ago when I had turned it off.
"Why didn't you tell me Peyton? We're engaged to be married in just a few months. You're supposed to love me."
"I do love you!" I answered quickly, "Xander, I do. I love you so much I just… I was just scared. I… I didn't want to tell you over the phone and I wasn't sure how you were going to react, so I just kind of put it off. I was going to tell you this weekend when you came into town. I promise."
"Not good enough." Xander snapped, "Peyton, I am your fiance! I… it's my baby too and I should have been the first to know. Not Brooke. Not Savannah. Not Camille!"
"I didn't mean to…"
"I'm not coming this weekend."
"What?" Suddenly the tears were threatening to spill over again as I sat, clutching the phone to my ear.
"I'm not coming this weekend. I need some time to think about this and I can't see you right now."
"Xander, please. I love you. I'm sorry." Now I was crying again, "Please. Don't be mad at me. I didn't mean to hurt you I was just…"
"Scared. Yeah, I got that." Xander sounded cold to me for the first time since I had met him and instead of relief that he knew about the baby now, my worst fears were all coming true, "I have to go Peyton. I'll… call you."
He hung up before I could even respond and I was left sobbing again, clutching a pillow and my silent phone to my chest. I didn't know what to do, or if there was anything I could do. I felt alone and frightened. I was incredibly frightened.
"Brooke?" I made my way to Brooke's dark bedroom and heard her turn over under the covers of her bed to look at me standing in the doorway.
I was still clutching my pillow and the tears still ran down my cheeks.
"Peyt? Is something wrong?" She flipped on the light and I could see the intense worry on her face, "Peyton? What happened? Come here."
I crawled into the bed with her and began to tell her about Xander, although I had no idea how she understood the story through my tears.
"Peyton…" She turned the light back out and hugged me, trying to soothe me, "It's gonna be ok Peyt. You can sleep here with me tonight and tomorrow, things will be ok."
"How can they be ok? He's mad at me. He's so mad at me and he has every right to be. I… I failed him."
"No. No, he loves you. He's just hurt right now." Brooke continued to hold me, "I promise, it will be ok. Just rest ok?"
I continued to cry but nodded ok.
I fell asleep there, Brooke holding me for comfort, thinking about how much I had screwed up and that if Xander didn't forgive me, my world would come crashing to an abrupt end.