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Chapter 26

Jace put his head on the table and let out a deep sigh. He wasn't able to sleep at all last night after reading from Valentine's journals. He laid there most of the night listening to the steady breathing from Clary, watching as she would whimper and then snuggle up close to him, quieting back down. He had wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to his body. He didn't want to spend a single night away from her, a single day without her, but this night would have to be the last where they were so close. Jace had gotten up early, he left the house for the institute; it would be easier if he wasn't around her.

When Clary walked in it was easy to tell she was suffering from a major hangover, all he wanted was to hold out his arms and have her run into them, but he knew he couldn't. So instead he had decided to be mean, each word he spit at her was like fire in this throat. He had to force the words out, he would make her hate him; make her chose to be free of him.

When she had run from the room it took everything he had not to run after her. Instead he gripped onto his seat until his knuckles turned white finally exhaling when his head hit the table.

"Well that was awkward." Izzy said getting up from the table and leaving the room. Alec followed silently so it was just Sebastian and Jace left in the kitchen.

"So I can see how I am part demon, I mean it kind of makes a lot of sense. I can see how you would be part angel, I mean pretty much any random girl on the street would swear to it just by looking at you, but Clary being part demon, just doesn't fit." Sebastian said. Jace hadn't moved his head still firmly on the table.

Jace lifted his head to look at Sebastian. Jace had dark rings around his eyes. Maybe this exact moment not every girl would think he was part angel, right now he looked utterly lost. "Valentine planned it from the beginning, he wants Clary and I to have a child, one that would be part demon and part angel. Can you imagine the destructive power of a child that has Clary's rune power, my skill in battle, with an evil side? It would ruin the world."

"Who says it would have to be evil. I mean even if Clary has demon blood in her, she doesn't seem like she has an evil bone in her body." Sebastian said looking at his brother. He had an idea what Jace was thinking, and as much as he had hated the thought if Clary and Jace together in the beginning, he could see the idea of them being apart would ruin them both.

"We can't risk it, we can't be that selfish." Jace said staring straight ahead of him as he said it, like a mantra he repeated to himself over and over until the words had lost their meaning.

"It's not like you are trying to have kids now, it doesn't mean you can't be with her" Sebastian said putting a hand on Jace's shoulder.

Jace shook his head. "It won't make leaving her any easier if I do it now, or if it happens later. But I can make it easier on her; I can make her hate me."

"Jace, even if your stupid plan works and she hates you and leaves you, it will destroy you. It already is."Sebastian said, giving Jace's shoulder a slight squeeze.

"I don't care about me, I will do whatever it takes to make this better for her." Jace said, getting up from the table. Jace wasn't sure where he was going to go, but he just needed to be away from everyone for awhile.

Clary had tears streaming down her face as she ran to Simon's house. The way he had treated her, he had hardly even looked at her. He hated her now that he knew the truth. She had always known he was too good for her, and now he knew it too. Light rain started to fall but Clary just ran. She finally reached Simon's house, dripping wet and panting. She raised a fist, pounding on the door. Simon answered the door in his Nintendo pajama pants and a plain black t-shirt. Clary ran into his chest letting him wrap his arms around her, the familiar scent of soap and energy drink comforting her slightly.

"Clary what happened?" Simon said shuffling backwards so she was fully in the house. He could feel her shaking. "Are you hurt? Cold? What is it Clary?" Clary just continued to cry silently against his chest. Simon bent down picking Clary up, it was a good thing she was so small. He carried her back to his bedroom, setting her down on his favorite bean bag chair, leaving her for a moment to get a towel.

Clary was curled in a ball when he came back, draping the towel across her. He stood awkwardly; Clary grabbed the towel and began to attempt to dry herself. It was not much of a use; she was soaked to the bone. Simon went to his dresser, grabbing a new set of pajama pants and a fresh t-shirt, handing them to her for her to change. She offered a small smile of thanks and headed for the bathroom.

She came back dryer but she was still shaking. Simon was sitting on his bed, his fingers laced in each other, twisting them around like he had always done when he was nervous. Clary sat in the bed beside him, leaning her head in to his chest. He put his arm around her pulling her in, they sat like that in silence as the minutes passed slowly.

"It was him wasn't it? He hurt you didn't he." Simon said, his voice soft and low.

Clary sniffed. "No, not like that. What would you say if I told you I am part demon?" Clary said looking up into Simon's eyes.

He looked confused. "I would say I think you have lost your mind." He separated from her, turning so his whole body was facing her one arm on each shoulder. "Clary, I have known you since, well, forever, there isn't any part of you even remotely evil." Clary looked down, avoiding his gaze. "Do you remember in the second grade when Big Beth made fun of your hair, saying you looked like a cabbage patch doll? You turned and ran home crying; I had to crawl in through your window because you locked your door and wouldn't let anyone in. I would expect someone with demon blood to have torn her eyes out, or at least kicked her in her shin."

Clary laughed a little remembering that day. "I know it doesn't sound right, but it's still true just the same. Maybe some of it was pushed down because of how mom raised me, but Simon, you haven't seen the things I can do. It scares me the kind of destructive things I am capable of." Clary shuddered thinking of the rune that had knocked Sebastian into the wall in the training room.

"Clary, everyone is capable of annihilation and benevolence; all that matters is which one you chose." Simon pulled Clary in for a long hug.

Jace wandered the streets for hours, not knowing what he was intending to do. Several times he grabbed his phone, wanting to call Clary, to apologize and see her. He stopped himself every time, looking at his background picture; it was him and Clary in Munich, she was giving him a kiss on the cheek. She deserved better than him, she disserved to have the kind of life she wanted, and not the restriction filled one that she would be stuck with if she were with him.

He found his way back to the house; he hoped that she would be there. He had decided what to do, and he needed to do it before he lost his nerve. She wasn't at the house, so he took out his phone, texting her quickly and hitting send before he could stop himself.

Clary heard her phone vibrate and nearly jumped off the bed. She crossed the room grabbing it and turning it on. Her heart sunk, it was from Jace. We need to talk. Meet me at the house.

It was never good when people said they need to talk. Clary felt like she was going to throw up. This was it. She better go and get it over with now. There was no point in drawing it out. She thanked Simon and took her old wet clothes in her hand. Simon gave her an umbrella to keep dry as she left. She headed back for the house quickly, each step numbing her until she felt nothing at all.

She got into the house and Jace was waiting for her in the kitchen. He looked haunted and numb, just like she felt. He took in her clothes, or rather Simon's clothes. His eyes narrowed the gold inside hardening.

"Sit." He said; there was no kindness in his voice.

Clary came into the kitchen but did not sit as she was told. She was too numb for that.

Jace rolled his eyes at her defiance, taking a few steps to the side to expand the distance between them. "Clary, we can't be together anymore. I'll leave and stay at the institute so you can keep training with Sebastian."

Clary looked to the floor; it was every bit as bad as she had feared. "Why are you doing this to me?" Clary said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"We can't be together Clary. It's just the way it is." He said firmly. Or at least he was hoping to be firm. Clary looked up to him, her green eyes shining with tears. He wanted to take it back, to run to her and hold her, tell her not to cry. He cleared his throat. "I'm going to go now." He turned quickly going around the island to go upstairs and grab his bag of packed clothes. When he came back downstairs he looked to the kitchen, Clary had her back against the wall slummed down into a ball with her hands in her hair. "I'm sorry." He said so low he didn't know if she could hear him. He swallowed hard and left as soon as he could.

Jace entered the institute and nearly ran straight into Sebastian, dropping his bag on the floor. Sebastian's eyes were wide, looking from Jace to the bag. "You are so stupid, I hope you know that." Sebastian managed through clenched teeth.

"I need you to go and be with her. You have to be there, make sure she's ok." Jace said looking to the floor.

"I can tell you right now she's not O-fucking-K. And neither are you." Sebastian nearly yelled.

"Don't worry about me, just promise me; promise me you will take care of her." Jace said finally looking up, there were tears streaming down his face.

Sebastian left in a hurry, going straight for the house; cursing his brother under his breath. He got to the house as quickly as he could, spotting Clary on the floor in the kitchen. Her hair was balled in her hands. He went to her swiftly, picking her up and holding her against his chest. Her eyes were wide and staring, silent tears streaming down her face, she made no noise what-so-ever. He took her over to the couch, sitting down with her on his lap, holding her as one may do with a small child.

Sebastian spoke softly, "It's going to be ok Clary."

It was then that Clary spoke, her voice sounding distant. "Nothing will ever be ok." After that she returned to her silence. Sebastian took her up to bed where she laid, not sleeping, not speaking, not eating for the rest of the day.

This continued for the next week, all Clary did was lay in bed. She stared at a single spot on the wall during the day, only eating when Sebastian brought her food and sat with her making sure she would actually eat it. She never spoke, never whispered. It was only at night when Sebastian would hear her; it had started her at first, the blood curdling screams that would come from her room. He rushed in there thinking someone was attacking her. She had been dead asleep thrashing around at an invisible attacker. He had to violently shake her awake; she had opened her eyes wide with shock, the screaming ended. She would focus her eyes on Sebastian for a moment, then shifting her gaze to the spot on the wall where her silence would resume. As much as Sebastian hated doing it, he had to put a silence rune on her door just to get some sleep after the 3rd night in a row of the screaming.

After a week Sebastian called for help. Magnus came over in a hurry. Sebastian escorted him up to Clary's room. Magnus' eyes widened when he took in the sight of the shell of a person before him. Magnus examined Clary, she did not resist him nor was she helpful. She did not respond when he asked her questions.

Magnus left Clary's room and Sebastian followed closing the door behind him. They went downstairs where Sebastian poured himself a large drink.

"I have seen something like this only twice in my life." Magnus said gesturing for Sebastian to pour him a drink too.

"Is it a spell, or a curse or something?" Sebastian said draining his glass. Magnus took a small sip.

"No, nothing magical in that way. Jace and Clary weren't parabati were they?"

"No." Sebastian said simply. "Jace and I are parabati, we have been for years now, since before Clary and Jace even met each other." Magnus took another sip.

"The only times I have seen something similar were in the cases of parabati that fell in love and then separated. That is why the Clave has forbidden those that are parabatai to have relationships. The rune makes their bond stronger, almost linking their souls to the other. Do you think Clary created some other rune and marked herself and Jace with it? Something that could link them together?"

"I don't know, it's possible." Sebastian said, he had not spoken to Jace since the day he left. "I need you to go to the institute for me, go see Jace. He could be the same; if he's speaking he should be able to answer your questions. Make him come here, I don't care if you have to put a spell on him and drag him here, he needs to see what he is doing to her."

Magnus finished his drink and left for the institute right away. He was met at the door by Alec. If it was a different time and different circumstances he would waste some time talking to him, but right now there was no time. "How's Jace." Magnus said simply.

"He stays in his room mostly, sometimes I see him wandering around at night; he's like a ghost." Alec says.

"Alexander, I need you to take me to him, right away." Magnus says with eyes wide.

Alec led Magus to Jace's room. Magnus knocked and after a moment of nothing he opened the door and walked in. Jace was not the same as Clary, but not really better either. He had dark circles under his eyes like he had not slept in a week. Magnus imagined he probably had not. "So do you speak or are you mute too?" Magnus said striding over to him.

"What do you mean mute too?" Jace asked, his voice scratchy like it had been a long time since he had spoken.

"Thank the angel you can talk." Magus grabbed Jace by the shoulders, shaking him to attention. "Did you and Clary exchange linking runes of any kind?"

"What, is there something wrong with Clary?" Jace straightened up, a short spark flashing in his eyes.

"I need you to answer my question, was there any kind of linking the two of you exchanged, anything like a parabati rune?"

Jace looked confused. "No." He whispered.

"I need you to come with me." Magnus said hauling Jace through the door.

They appeared in the family room of the house, Sebastian was standing at the island, his arms across his chest. "Well at least he looks like shit too." Sebastian said looking to Magnus.

"You don't look so well yourself big brother." Jace said snidely.

"Well at least he talks." Sebastian said, slight relief crossing his face. "Any rune?"

Magnus shook his head saying, "No."

"Can I ask what this is about?" Jace said his tone short.

Magnus released his hold on him. "Go see for yourself." Sebastian said gesturing upstairs. Jace's gaze followed Sebastian's hand.

Jace took the step two at a time, bursting into Clary's room. Clary's eyes refocused taking in the sight of Jace. He wasn't really here, it was just another dream. She hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep this time.

He took a step toward the bed, his hand extended in the air then stopped as Clary's eyes widened in fear. She sunk further back into the bed recoiling from him. He let his hand fall. He wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen her for himself. She was even worse than he was, though he was sure she felt exactly the same as she did. Being so close to her was hard, he couldn't stop himself; he walked over to the bed sitting down lightly. Her eyes followed him as he moved.

He looked at her; it looked like she had lost at least 10 pounds in the last week. Her eyes were too large for her head and ringed in black. He reached his hand out touching her cheek. Her eyes closed a tear slipping down onto his hand.

"Raziel Clary, you are so much stronger than this. You need to pull yourself together." Jace said mirroring the words Alec had said to him days ago.

Clary opened her eyes, leaning into his hand. "I know you're not really here, but please stay for while. It doesn't hurt so badly right now." It was the first time she had spoken in a week other than the screams at night. Her voice was barely above a whisper and she squeaked as she spoke being close to having lost her voice from the strain of screaming.

"I'm really here Clary." Jace said softly running his thumb along her cheek bone.

Clary seemed to panic a little, shifting to sitting so quickly Jace's hand fell from her cheek, landing on her stomach. Clary looked around wildly. "Shhhhh." Jace said. She was breathing rapidly, her entire body shaking.

"Clary calm down. Breathe baby, breathe." He grabbed her face with both his hands, forcing her to look at him.

She took deep breaths, feeling her heart slamming against her chest. She could feel his pulse though the tips of his fingers, his heart was racing too. They were too close now. Jace leaned in brushing his lips across hers, tasting the tears that had settled on her lips. Clary inhaled sharply as if surprised. Jace crushed his lips to hers pouring out all the angst he had felt for the past week into that one kiss.

Clary was kissing him back, her hands wrapping around into his hair pulling him into her. Their lips parted, Jace eased his tongue into her mouth searching for hers. Their tongues met and danced. Clary pulled back slighty, taking his lower lip into her mouth and sucking sweetly. Jace closed his eyes and groaned. Jace pulled back, touching his forehead to hers. They were both breathing heavy.

"When you came into my life it was like you were a puzzle piece that I didn't even realize I had been missing. But once you were there I felt whole and complete, when I left you it was like more than that one piece was missing, it was like all the pieces around it were ripped out too. I don't know if I can live without you." Jace said slowly.

"That's exactly how I felt too." Clary said, her voice still squeaking making Jace laugh lightly.

"We are going to burn down the world if we stay together. This is what Valentine wanted all along." Jace said closing giving Clary a light kiss.

"Then let it burn." Clary said quietly capturing his lips with her own.