Chapter Twenty Five
Awakenings and Arguments
Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are,
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I'll set you apart,
Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh let's go back to the start.
The next day Kitty spent alternatively sitting either with the lifeless Harry or outside smoking the last of the cigarettes Tonks had given her. She'd had an odd feeling all day, almost restless, like she knew she should be doing something, but couldn't think what.
But then again, she reasoned, she felt like that every day here.
Finally she found herself back upon familiar territory, sitting at Harry's side after a particularly unpleasant nightmare. She hadn't realised it was possible to get them during afternoon naps. She watched him for a good few hours, not moving from her seat as she went over all the questions she had, all the worries, everything the nightmares forced her to dwell on and think about. What if Harry was angry with her, what if she found she was angry with him, would he get better, what would it mean if he did, what would happen to her…the list was never ending. After a while she lent forwards and picked up his limp hand.
There were practically no signs of life. If his chest hadn't have been steadily rising and falling she would swear he was dead. He was too pale, had lost so much weight…he didn't even look like himself anymore, just some kind of waxwork…She couldn't help but let the tears that had been collecting in her eyes roll down her cheeks as she felt her chest tighten, why wasn't he awake yet?
"Come on Harry, wake up," she pleaded quietly, squeezing his hand slightly, "please, wake up…"
Not even a flicker, no sign of movement beneath his lids, even a wiggle of the toes would be something she thought desperately. She squeezed his hand again.
"Squeeze back Harry," she asked him tearfully, "come on, just show I'm not alone here…"
Not even a twitch.
More tears rolled down her face now and she raised his hand up, giving it a small kiss. She didn't expect it to work now, she just wished with every single bone in her body that he'd just give her a smile, tell her not to worry, laugh at her for crying, make fun of her accent, even rant and storm at her, anything…
But it wasn't to be. She was here, he was here, but she was alone…She lay her head down on the side of his bed, staring at the blankets ahead of her, mind once again returning to that night – that night when everything changed, forever. Her whole life had been altered, set on a new course, because of those few hours. When everything had gone bad, wheneverything had been ruined…
She suddenly remembered being in the car, and the paramedic cutting her out, asking questions.
'Have you been drinking or taking any illegal substances?'
That's what he'd asked her and she gave a choked, humourless laugh, she wished she had. She wished all of this was some terrible nightmare, some psychedelic trip, that her and Harry had just been high and there was no such thing as magic and werewolves and hospital wings of castles.
This thought still running around in her mind she closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, he didn't even smell like him anymore…
Suddenly her eyes snapped open, an idea had just exploded into her mind like a bright firework in the dead of night. She sat up quickly, pulling her hand out of Harry's and staring at him with wide eyes. For a few moments she could do nothing, not even move or breathe in case the thought slipped away suddenly.
Then, when she had thought about it for a few more moments, she sprang into action.
She all but launched herself at the cupboard next to his bed, she'd seen them put them away, they hadn't even looked at them, where were they? She pulled open the draw and with fumbling fingers pulled out a brown file.
She laid it out on his bed and stared at them for a moment before opening it up and scanning over the reams of scrawled doctors notes. She had brought them from her hospital but no one had cared, they hadn't even looked….
And there it was, in black and white;
Toxicology.
Kitty ran down the corridors, wondering wildly where everyone had got to, the place was completely deserted. She knew for a fact Harry's friends were here, she'd heard them poke their head around the corner and watch her with Harry earlier and his mother had been in a few times to talk to the matron.
Why are they never around when you actually want them to be she thought desperately, all this time annoying her and now they chose to give her space! Bloody fantastic. She emerged into the hall and after a moments indecision went outside to see if she could see anyone there. She stood at the head of the stairs and gazed across the sweeping lawns for any sign of life, sure enough there they were, standing together by the lakes edge.
Kitty ran down the stairs and across the lawns as fast as she could.
"Oi! Hermione! Ron!" she shouted, skidding to a halt behind them and grabbing the girls arm.
"Ouch!" said Hermione angrily, pulling her arm and away and shooting her and angered look.
"I know what's wrong!" she said in a rush, completely ignoring her, "Look! I know what's wrong!"
"What are you babbling about?" said Hermione uneasily.
"Look! It's says right here!" she cried, shoving the folder into her face, "look!"
Hermione stumbled backwards and took the folder from her hands, scanning across the page.
"Harry's medical notes? I don't understand, I know he had an operation…" she said, looking slightly perturbed, "what do you mean…?"
"No!" she said desperately, "don't you see – look!"
Ron and Hermione shared a worried look and with a roar of frustration tore the folder out of her hands. She looked down at the page, rested her finger next to the word and slowly held it in front of her.
"Look closer," she said slowly and purposefully as if they were stupid, "what is says right here, what's wrong with Harry…"
"Toxicology," murmured Hermione, eyes becoming as wide as saucers.
Kitty stared hard and Hermione, who was staring right back at her with sudden understanding.
"What does that mean?" asked Ron, looking between the two anxiously.
"Poison," she whispered in disbelief.
"Professor Snape?" asked Hermione timidly, knocking on the heavy wooden door.
"Why Professor Snape?" groaned Ron beside her, "of all people, why him?"
"Who is this guy?" demanded Kitty behind them, still clutching the notes, "lets just tell the nurse!"
"He knows about this sort of thing-"
The door suddenly swung open to reveal the potions master, he surveyed the three with a look of surprise that lasted only a millisecond before being replaced with a sneer. Kitty had no recollection of the meeting yesterday, and judging by Snape's expression, neither did he.
"What do you want?" he asked, silky smooth voice that caused Kitty to frown.
"We wanted to ask you about something," said Hermione breathlessly.
"You know about poisons right?" she challenged, barging past Hermione and standing in front of him, hands on hips.
Behind her Ron and Hermione shared a horrified look.
"Excuse me?" he asked in deadly whisper.
"Harry's been poisoned!" she told him, jabbing a finger into his chest, "I know he has! What can you do about it?"
Snape stared at her for a long moment, but she was just as good at the dead eye than he was and for a long moment they waited for the first to back down. Eventually Snape stood down, moving sideways to let the three inside the room. Hermione and Ron trailed in Kitty's wake meekly, trying to look as if they weren't with her at all.
The dungeon door closed with a reverberating bang and the Professor strode towards them.
"Explain yourself," he told her, eyes narrowing.
"When we got to the hospital, they tested us, I can't believe I didn't remember!" said Kitty, completely ignoring Snape's menacing air and the other two squirming.
"Tested you?" he asked, arched eyebrow.
"Blood's I mean, they took blood samples from both of us," she explained.
"Why?" he asked.
"What do you mean why?" she asked blankly, "they thought we were on drugs I guess. They just do that sort of stuff, anyway, that's not important-"
"What!"
Everyone turned and stared at Hermione, who was glaring angrily at Kitty.
"You what?" asked Kitty, looking annoyed at her outburst.
"Drugs?" she asked her in an unnaturally high voice, "You and Harry were taking drugs?"
"Did I say that?" demanded Kitty irritably.
"Yes you did, you just said it!" she practically yelled back, "What did you do to him!"
"Hermione," began Ron awkwardly, nodding significantly to Snape who was following the mounting argument with a delicious smile on his face.
"What did I do to him?" Kitty said incredulously, "Je-sus Christ get some perspective! Harry is lying in a coma and I might've just found out how to make him better and you're still having a go at me!"
"Because maybe that's the reason why he's in that bed in a coma!" she shouted tearfully.
"This isn't my fault!" she yelled back at her furiously.
"If you were taking drugs-" she began, shaking her finger at Kitty.
"We weren't taking drugs! Harry has never even taken drugs and-"
"But you have right?" accused Hermione, stepping closer.
Kitty stared at her long and hard, unreadable expression on her face. Everyone was waiting silently, even Snape seemed curious as tension crackled in the air.
Finally Kitty turned to the potions master and thrust the file towards him.
"The doctors found stuff in his blood, I don't know what it all means, but there must be a way that you can find out what is it," she said stiffly and Snape regarded her steadily, "I know its poison though, it's got to be…else why hasn't he woken up? Maybe its something that, I don't know, feeds off magic or something…that's why the more you try to make him better, the worse he gets…"
Even though the mood had been so tense a few moments before Kitty sensed a change in the air. Snape had given her a slightly suspicious look, before suddenly striding over to his desk, searching it for something.
"Hasn't that already been checked?" Ron asked, voice shaking and face pale.
"He's been tested for all known traceable poisons and potions," said Snape dismissively, "muggles wouldn't pick up something we haven't."
"Well maybe we can find stuff you can't exactly because we are muggles or whatever," shrugged Kitty, annoyed at his tone of voice when he said the word 'muggles', "you can do all sorts of stuff with magic it seems, couldn't you make it so you can't find a poison?"
"Professor…" said Hermione in a small voice, "could it be…is it an untraceable poison?"
He gave them all a swift look, before a sudden, vampirical smile.
"The essential characteristic of an untraceable potion Granger, is that it's untraceable."
"That's not funny," snapped Kitty and again Ron made a small noise that indicated he didn't think they'd make it out alive.
"I'm sorry," he said in a sugary sweet voice that promised impending doom, "I wasn't aware I was offending you."
"Yeah whatever," waved off Kitty, "listen, now you know what it is, make him better – wake him up."
"It's not that simple," explained Snape, now flicking through a rather large book, "but if this is a possibility then we certainly have a lead to work on."
"It's not a lead…this is it," begged Kitty, walking over to Snape and fixing him with a pleading look, "let's just…let's just find out what this poison is and wake him up…"
Snape didn't take the file, gaze only flickering towards it briefly before turning back to his book.
"I can take it from here, I'll go and visit him shortly and test him properly."
"Why don't you take the file?" she demanded, shaking it slightly in front of his face, "it says right here what he's got in him."
"As I said before, I highly doubt that Potter's condition has been discovered by your doctors…" said Snape idly as he continued his search.
"So you're not even going to look?" she asked incredulously.
"Professor, it might be worth a try…" said Hermione in small voice next to her.
Apparently she could put her differences aside long enough to agree with Kitty on at least one thing.
"Granger, I thought you'd have enough brain to realise that They would not go to the lengths of giving him an untraceable potion if it could be discovered by muggle means," he said with a sneer, "I have just told you I will investigate this personally."
"But what if-" began Ron, looking desperately as if he didn't want to speak but felt compelled to.
"If nothing," snapped Snape, glaring at them in turn, "are you potions masters? No. I think you're OWL results prove that. Now I will look into this, in the meantime why don't you just run along and argue more about Potter's state of mind, addled though it is."
Kitty glared at the man, shaking with anger.
"How can I get in touch with Remus, or Tonks?" she asked him in a low, deadly voice, "As you clearly seem unable to even grasp the simplest of facts or have the slightest care whether Harry gets better or not!"
Snape gave her a swift, furious look, before striding over to the door and holding it open. He waited silently for them to leave and eventually Ron and Hermione slinked out.
"Why won't you help him!" demanded Kitty, loudly now.
"I suggest you leave the thinking to us," Snape told her, grinning humourlessly, "something I'm sure we're more able to do than you."
"You are such a bastard!" she growled angrily, starting forwards.
She was saved from lashing out right there and then by a strong hand that had grabbed the back of her tee shirt.
"I'd go back and spend some time with Potter if I were you," he said evilly, "you're not going to be around much longer."
Then the door was slammed in her face.
Kitty gave it an incredulous look for a moment, too shocked to even be angry, before she kicked the door with her mighty boot violently.
"You arrogant prick!" she yelled, kicking the door again.
"Cathy," began Ron anxiously.
"Do you think I give a flying fuck what you think!" Kitty yelled again through the door, incensed.
"It's probably not a smart idea to-" began Ron anxiously, quickly letting go of her shirt and she whipped around at them.
"Oh for fucks sake," she muttered, barging past them and heading back the way they had come.
"Wait!" called Hermione, also striding after her.
"Leave me alone!" she bellowed back, supremely not in the mood for the snobbish girl now.
"Just tell me what happened and I will," said the girl quickly as Kitty sped up.
Kitty growled to herself, a whole castle full of…full of…she couldn't even think of word bad enough to describe them, she thought she might have to invent one up, just to convey the sheer stupidity of them.
"Were you on drugs when you were caught," she demanded, matching her steps behind her now, "is that why he got caught?"
"No!" she practically screamed, whipping around.
"I don't believe you!" Hermione yelled back even louder, "tell me the truth! You were high weren't you!"
"No, we weren't!" she shrieked back, "Harry wasn't on drugs! And no, I wasn't on drugs either! And yes, I have taken drugs, so what! This isn't important!"
"I knew it!" Hermione proclaimed furiously, "I knew you-"
"Hermione," cut in Ron cautiously, but Kitty acted as if he hadn't even spoken.
"Knew I what?" Kitty asked her dangerously, standing stock-still now with balled-up fists at her side.
Hermione glared right back at her and for a moment they simply stood, waiting for the first to break.
"I know exactly what you think about me," Kitty began in a low, furious voice, "council estate scum, right? Common as muck, always up to no good, right?"
Hermione didn't reply and Kitty knew exactly what the silence meant.
"Yeah, right, I know exactly what you think of me," she scoffed, past anger now, "you think just because I'm not smart, that I don't have the perfect family or the proper accent that I'm scum? That I stole Harry away from you, that I fucked his head with drugs! Because there's no way Harry could possibly like me without his mind being screwed!"
"I didn't say that," Hermione replied fiercely.
"But you're thinking it! I can see it in your fucking eyes!" Kitty spat back, "And do you know what, you're probably right! I'm probably the last thing Harry deserves, but do you know what, you think I'm bad? I'm not half as fucked up as Harry is, and you can't even see it!"
"Don't you dare say that about him!" Hermione retaliated, looking stung.
"I can say whatever I like because it's true! I know! I've seen it! And he's mine! I'm with him! He trusted me to look after him and help him, and maybe I'm not doing a fantastic job, but I'm trying!" she exclaimed, "I'm trying my goddamn hardest and I seem to be the only person in this place who cares if he gets better or not!"
"You're not! We're his best friends, do you understand that? Do even know what that means? What Harry means to us! What you've taken away from us!"
"I've taken nothing away from you," said Kitty harshly, "and big fucking deal, you're best friends with Harry! So what? He isn't just my boyfriend, he's my best friend and I love him, do you understand what that means?"
Ron and Hermione stared at her in shocked silence.
"No you don't, because you don't care about anybody but yourselves! Whether Harry left because of you – is that important? No, it's not. What Harry did while he was with me, is that important? No! It fucking isn't!" she ranted, not even realising what she was saying, "You weren't there when he needed you – I was, so just get over it! So stop attacking me and take and step back and try and work out what's really going on. Because all you're doing right now is stopping me from finding out what's wrong with him, proving my theory that you are so selfish you'd rather see him dying than accepting the fact that I'm here, that I care about him and need him back, ok!"
And with that she turned on her heel and stormed off, leaving Ron and Hermione still as statues, gaping after her.
Remus walked into the library slowly, trying to figure out why Cathy would have found her way into it and what she could possibly be doing. A sudden thumping noise caught his attention and he sourced it, down in one of the stacks of to the left, near the restricted section.
There it was again and after a moment he realised it was the sound of a book falling to the floor. Frowning slightly he edged his way towards the stack, every muscle tensing for the book he expecting to see whinging overhead. However, when he turned the corner he caught sight of Kitty, lying on the floor searching through a stack of a books, others littered about around her. Half the bookshelf had been emptied and the whole place looked like she'd just been pulling them out randomly and throwing them away.
"How did you get in here Cathy?" he asked in a quiet, non-threatening voice.
She gave a start and twisted round to look over her shoulder. She gave a frown of annoyance, but nothing more, turning back to her book silently. She had a feverish look on her face.
"I picked the lock," she finally said, throwing the book aside and pulling another one out, "you got a problem with that?"
He gave a weary sigh, looks like she really was in a really bad mood and he wondered why. After a moment he picked his way through the mess, before lowering himself to the floor in front of her, back leant against the next stack. She shot him an another annoyed look and continued to look through the book with the air of one who didn't really know what they were looking for or how to find it.
"What are you looking for?" he asked her carefully, catching a glance of some of the titles of the book and frowning.
"Poisons," she said simply, throwing the book aside and pulling another one out.
"Any particular reason why?"
"Because I want to bump off every one of this castle's small-minded, condescending bastards, one by one," she snapped, "now go away."
He couldn't help but stare at her in surprise, she'd seemed so well when he'd seen her yesterday and now she was almost like she was when she first appeared in Hogwarts.
"Anyone in particular?" he continued, unfazed by the behaviour he'd become so used to.
"Hermione," she hissed viciously, "and then that complete prick Snape, shortly followed by that gimp Ron, who does nothing but just stand there and gape at me…"
Remus nodded along with her, watching as she pulled another book on poisons out, she wasn't serious was she?
"What has she done now?" he asked finally.
Kitty gave a look that said she would probably explode if she had to explain what it was that Hermione had done this time and he nodded quickly, no need to know then.
"Feel better now you've done your pretending-to-be-worried-for-the-stupid-muggle bit? Good for you! Now you can just piss off!" she ranted harshly, pulling another book off the shelf violently.
He was a little taken aback but didn't leave, watching her rip through the pages quickly for a few more minutes.
She looked up to him angrily and he was surprised to see her hands were shaking, "Fuck off!"
"I'm not leaving so save you're breath," he told her flatly.
She glowered at him, before turning back to her work, honouring him with the silent treatment. He watched in puzzlement for some time before noticing a piece of paper propped up next to her which she was continually referring to.
"What are you really doing Cathy?" he asked her.
"It's not important," she said ferociously.
"Obviously it is," he pointed out, frowning even more.
"Only to me it seems!" she ranted, "Go away!"
"What is it?" he persisted.
"You won't believe me, so just leave!"
"Try me."
She looked up to him, blue eyes challenging. He stared right back and finally she gave a shrug, obviously feeling like it was worth a shot.
"I'm looking up a list of ingredients you can use in an untraceable potion, because Harry's been poisoned."
Remus felt his mouth drop open slightly
"Why do you think that?" he asked slowly.
"Because when we were in hospital Harry had a blood test and I've got the results here. Nobody even bothered to check him and when I looked the toxicology had this long list of stuff that didn't look like it should be there."
He gazed into her honest, almost pleading face as a peculiar sense of realisation steal over him.
"I think there's something in it that makes you not able to see it, and that whenever you do magic on him, he gets a little worse, like you're feeding it or something, topping up the batteries or whatever."
"Why didn't you tell someone?" he asked her faintly, reaching for the page she was consulting as if in a dream.
"I tried but that bastard Snape wouldn't believe me, didn't even look at it, just because it's not magic! Because I'm not magic," she ranted suddenly, "and I couldn't possibly have any idea what's going on or help in any way! Because I'm useless right! And besides, Ron and Hermione don't give a toss anyway and the nurse had gone. Tonks wasn't here and I don't even know your phone number! So I figured if no one else would do anything about it, I would - retarded as I may be!"
Remus nodded slowly, peering at the list of toxins that had been in Harry's blood when he arrived in the hospital. He felt his blood run cold…
Kitty, who was still panting heavily from her ranting, boiling anger took one look at his face and almost stopped breathing there and then.
"You recognise them don't you?" she asked breathlessly.
"A few…" he aid slowly, eyes round with surprise, darting down the page, "and I know someone who'll be able to help us."
"Really?" she whispered hoarsely, "Honestly?"
"Yes," he said, climbing to his feet hastily, "follow me."
She gave him an incredulous look, before also jumping up, ready and eager to go looking more relieved than he'd ever thought he'd seen anyone. He led her out of the stacks, turning around with a sudden though and waving his wand over the books. With a clatter and a rustle of pages they jumped back onto the shelves and he ignored Kitty's gasp as he strode towards the hospital wing.
Some twenty minutes later Kitty found herself once more in Snape's dungeon classroom, this time accompanied by Remus, an older, grey haired witch, the Matron and Hermione and Ron. She sat on a workbench that was stationed next to the cold stone wall, leaning backwards and drawing her knees up towards her. She was still bristling with anger from the way both Snape and Harry's friends had treated her today, and her argument with Hermione kept running through her head. She clenched her fists at her sides, desperately trying to calm herself down and listen to Remus, who was addressing Snape mostly, explaining the medicine notes she'd found and the toxicology report.
"But He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wouldn't use a poison that could be detected, let alone by muggle healers," said the Matron almost as soon as Remus stopped talking, "there's just no sense in that!"
"Maybe He hadn't expected him to survive long enough for anyone to have found out?" suggested Remus, as Kitty blanched slightly at the thought.
"Nevertheless," the woman replied, "poison? I mean, really, that's just so…"
She waved her hand vaguely in the air to indicate what she felt and everyone nodded imperceptibly.
"…Crude?" suggested an elderly woman Kitty had noticed called 'Minerva'.
"But effective," cut in Remus, shooting Kitty a quick glance, as if to check up on her.
There was a thoughtful pause in which the sallow faced man Kitty already despised, looked up from his patient gaze on his desk and fixed Remus with a piercing look.
"Read out the ingredients once more, Lupin," he said, with such a hidden feeling laced onto the man's name that Kitty looked up curiously.
Obviously there was a bit of history between the two, she thought as she watched Remus' careful avoidance of the man's eyes as he busied himself with the list once more.
"Atropa belladonna."
"Deadly nightshade," Snape replied at once, tapping a thoughtful finger against his chin, "chief side effects being the decent into a deep, paralytic sleep."
Kitty shifted uneasily, even she'd heard of deadly nightshade, and the thought of Harry being given it made her stomach turn over. She visualised the list Remus held once more, knowing of a few other things found in his blood which the orderly doing the blood test had ringed in red. She waited with baited breath to find out what they were, and more worryingly, what side effects they'd have.
"Digitalis purpurea," Remus was saying as Kitty tuned back in.
"Foxglove," Snape nodded, brushing it off with a lazy lick of the wrist, "any poison worth its salt uses it's essence as the base liquid."
Kitty knew foxgloves as well, she'd seen them around the parks but had never realised they were poisonous.
"What else?"
This time the voice belonged to Hermione and Kitty glanced over to see her staring at Remus, pale faced and the merest hint of trembling in her clasped hands.
"Conium maculatum," Remus said and Kitty was surprised to see Hermione pale visibly at this.
"Hemlock," she said, beating Snape to his diagnosis, "causes the heart rate to slow and become weak, pupils to dilate, before he - I mean…the victim, to slip into a coma and…"
Kitty narrowed her eyes at the girl before Snape spoke up once more, "If Hemlock was the chief ingredient then it's natural to assume that wolfsbane would have been the final ingredient? Aconite…causes numbness, aids the coma induced by the hemlock."
Kitty grimaced at the thought of all those disgusting things being forced into Harry's bloodstream and found herself raising her hands to her mouth to stop herself being sick at the thought.
"It's a simple poison then," said 'Minerva', sounding puzzled still, "hemlock, aconite, foxglove, nightshade…these are all common, known poisons…I mean, they've been used for centuries."
"Simple but deadly," Remus replied, "if you're going for maximum damage, minimum fuss, why bother with something expensive and difficult to brew?"
"But this is the Dark Lord we're talking about," she pressed, "it's simply not his, well, not his style."
"It's actually a complex potion, despite it's humble origins," Snape said, rising to his feet and beginning to pace across a short distance of the floor, "the key is getting each ingredient to exactly the right weight and strength, perfectly in ratio with one another, so the side effects do not cancel each other out or work too quickly. A perfect example should quickly incapacitate the victim, but draws out the death considerably."
"By nearly two weeks?" asked the Scottish lady once more and Kitty really did flinch then.
She made it sound like Harry was close to deaths door.
"No," said Snape flatly, "a few hours at most. No more than three."
"But why has Potter survived this long then?" she asked in some bewilderment.
"I don't know," he replied, the distaste in his voice told Kitty he did not like making this statement, "if this muggle record is correct, then he should have been dead within minutes of arriving at the…hospital."
"It must be something to do with the time period…something must have happened to have halted the progress of the poison so that it did not kill him, only maintain the coma-like state it induced," mused Remus, glancing at the notes once more.
"Nothing would do that," Snape scoffed, quickly brushing off Remus' statement, "once it's ingested then it would quickly be absorbed into his bloodstream."
Kitty looked up at this, brows knitted together in deep concentration.
"Well, obviously something happened," snapped Remus right back, "we know that it was in his blood so he's obviously been poisoned."
"I think you're forgetting that this is a muggle medical assessment?" he said, eyebrow arched and mocking smile on his lips.
"So? You said yourself it's not an untraceable poison, they're quite able to pick it up in their tests," Remus shot back and Kitty listened to the brewing argument with only half an ear, ideas forming in her mind rapidly.
"Hardly! We're talking about the people that removed his kidney with a knife because it had some slight damage to it!"
"That probably saved his life - this poison was in him and now it's not - how do you explain that?"
"I don't, it's a mistake," he smirked.
"They made it up then?" Remus asked incredulously.
"Well, how do you explain it?" Snape demanded, on his feet now.
They stood face to face, glaring at each other furiously, tension crackling in the air.
"They pumped his stomach," Kitty said quietly.
Everyone whipped around to look at her, almost as if they didn't realise she'd been there or could speak.
"What?" demanded Remus, frowning in confusion.
"They pumped Harry's stomach!" she said louder, as everything seemed to fall into place, "when we got to hospital he had a massive blood transfusion and they pumped his stomach before surgery!"
Kitty saw Hermione's mouth drop open as she realised what she meant.
"What do you mean, they pumped his stomach?" asked the Matron fearfully.
"They put a tube down your throat and get out whatever's in your stomach," she said quickly as everyone's face registered a look of utter horror, "they usually do it if you've drank too much or overdosed…But they do it before surgery as well…they must have done it to Harry!"
Everyone merely gaped at her for a moment as they tried to digest this information, before Remus looked down at the medical notes once more.
"When would they have done this?" he asked slowly.
"He was in surgery twenty minutes after we got into hospital apparently," she said, voice trembling now at the memory, "that's enough time isn't it?"
"Yes…I think so," he replied, looking over to Snape momentarily, "When was the poison given to him?"
"I don't know," she replied, almost startled by the question - surely if she'd seen someone force feeding his something, she'd have mentioned it by now, "The last time I saw Harry he didn't look as if he'd been poisoned…then I didn't see him for twenty minutes maybe?"
She remembered vividly running through that graveyard, diving into the church, hiding under the pews as the vicar was murdered. She had tried so hard to block that moment from her memory, but now she could almost smell the death that was in the air, the breath of the Death Eater as he held her down.
"Cathy?" asked Remus attentively, and she became aware that they were all staring at her curiously, "how long then until you went to the hospital?"
"When I found him again…it was maybe half an hour before we crashed…another half an hour before we were found…ten minutes to the hospital…I don't remember, I was pretty out of it, by then…"
"That gives us nearly two hours…" Remus said, resting a reassuring hand of her shoulder momentarily as he walked over to Snape, "that's enough time."
"Yes, it is," replied Snape, thoughtfully running an eye over the list of toxins found in Harry's blood once more with considerably more credence.
"If that's true…then why won't he wake up now?" asked Hermione anxiously, "it's been out of his system for so long!"
"Their initial effects are still present, the coma, weak heartbeat, dilated pupils and the such, because the poison was considerably advanced in its absorption before all this happened," said Snape, "but the addition of certain other minor ingredients can alter a poison considerably…I believe something must have been added as a safeguard in case someone tried to magically revive him."
"Something that feeds off magic and makes him worse, you mean?" demanded Kitty angrily, "which is exactly what I said hours ago! I told you that whenever you tried new magic on him he got worse!"
"It seems you were right Cathy," said Remus, giving her a firm nod, "now what can we do about it?"
"I can brew an antidote," Snape said, sending a glare towards Kitty for her sudden insightfulness into magical poisons, "it'll take a few hours at least, without knowing what the missing ingredient is I'll be working on trial and error."
"But he'll wake up?" Hermione asked hopefully, "soon?"
"Yes," nodded Snape, before turning to McGonagall, "best inform Dumbledore, he'll want to be back for this."
"He's still travelling at the moment," she replied, already climbing to his feet, "it may be hard to get in touch with him, but he'll be back tomorrow in any case."
Everyone began to leave the room, the Matron hurrying back to her wing, Ron and Hermione deep in conversation as they left, closely followed by the older witch. Snape disappeared into the stores and all that could be heard was glass bottles clinking together and the sound of the sliding ladder being pushed along.
Remus walked over to Kitty, who was still sat huddled on the bench, slightly fazed look on her face.
"Are you ok Cathy?" he asked with some concern, sitting on the bench next to her.
"Yeah, fine," she said quickly, "it's just…I can't quite believe we figured it out…and that he'll wake up."
"I think you'll find that it was you that figured it out, how many times have you saved Harry's life now?" he joked and Kitty could help but smile faintly.
"Will he be ok, Remus?" she asked uneasily.
"The antidote will wake him up, and then we can fix whatever side effects he'll have," he assured her, studying her face carefully.
"Good," she said weakly, "I can't wait…"
Remus looked at her for another moment, noting that she was picking at a nail unconsciously and tapping a foot nervously against the bench.
"I know what you're feeling at the moment Cathy," he said quietly and she shot him a panicked look, "you're almost dreading him waking up, aren't you?"
She avoided his eyes for a long moment, trying to look as she was shocked at this accusation, but finally gave a nervous, half-shrug.
"Yes…" she whispered, "I want him to wake up, more than anything I've ever wanted, I want him to be ok, and awake…but there's this small part of me that keeps saying, what if he's different, what if he's changed, that now he's back with his friends, he won't need me anymore."
Remus nodded, listening as Kitty voiced her worst fears, before finally looking over to her, "Tonks and I have both said this already…but the Harry you know, and love, is the same person that's lying in the Hospital bed…you can have secrets from each other and hide things…but its impossible to hide how you feel, and impossible to act anything other than your true self when you're with that person."
She nodded slightly, eyes fixed on a certain point of the floor as she carefully processed this. Eventually she gave a nod and a faint smile.
"You're right…" she said quietly, reminiscent smile widening slightly, "I realised that one day when I with Harry…I'd tell him things that I'd never told anyone before, could never repeat to anyone, that I hadn't even let myself know…and I suddenly wondered why I was doing it…and I realised that I felt like I was myself for the first time in my life, that I could only be like that with Harry."
"It'll be like that again Cathy," he assured her, "more so even, because Harry will be able tell you things now that he couldn't before…"
"It's that what I'm worried about," she said almost sadly, "that he doesn't love me as much as I love him."
"I'm sure he'd say the same Cathy," he said with a slight smile, "everyone thinks that their love must be the strongest in the world, because they can't imagine any one else could feel the same way…"
Kitty smiled slightly, imagining for a moment her and Harry arguing over who loved the other most.
Remus looked cheered at her response and quickly slid off the bench and offered her a hand, "Now, why don't you get a bit of sleep before the antidotes are made, it'll be a long night."
Remus was just the right side of dozing, that point where you're not fully asleep, but already dreaming when he thought he heard the door to the room open. It was so far in the back of his consciousness however he didn't acknowledge the noise, until he felt the right hand side of the bed sink slightly, as if someone was sitting on it. He struggled back into wakefulness, feeling heavily disorientated and taking some time to even open his eyes. He was a very heavy sleeper usually but wasn't getting enough sleep these days to be disturbed when he finally did settle down.
"Don't wake up on my account," whispered a voice and Remus frowned in his doziness.
Finally pulling his eyes open, he managed to focus on a hazy form in front of him. It had blue hair.
"Tonks…" he mumbled, eyes falling shut as he attempted to blink them into operation.
"Wotcher sleepy," she said in a whispered voice full of humour.
"Was'time?" he asked, stretching his legs out and trying to bring her face into focus.
"Eight low," she said, still in a quiet voice as if she was trying not to wake him.
"Is everything ok?" he asked, finally getting her in focus and noting she still look ill, "how you feeling?"
"Everything's fine," she soothed, pushing her hair behind her ears, "I'm ok, a little tired, I went back to the Ministry today."
"You're not supposed to be working for another week," he admonished her, sitting up slightly and noting she did in fact look exhausted.
"Sick of being lazy," she smiled, before giving a yawn, "room for another?"
Wordlessly he shuffled along the small bed slightly and she lay down next to him, stretching out and lying with her back against his chest. Feeling slightly unsure, Remus wrapped an arm around her and when she didn't do anything worrying he lay his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes wearily. She gave a contented sigh, snuggling against him more and untensing her muscles. Remus smiled to himself at the new feeling.
"Are you tired?" he asked her in a low voice, eyes still closed.
"Mmm," she replied, placing her arm on top of his, which was curled around her waist now, half preventing her from falling off the edge of the tiny bed.
"What was your day like?" he asked.
"Boring," she murmured, sounding half asleep already, "they had me filling out forms and stuff…"
"I don't think you should be working yet," he said, studying in detail her hair, which on closer inspection was a variety of shades of blue.
"Maybe not, but I feel useless otherwise," she replied, lacing her fingers into his, "how's Harry and Cathy?"
"Madam Pomfrey's trying out another of the antidotes at the moment," he said after a moment, "I don't know…it might take a while she reckons."
"Well, at least we know what it is now," replied Tonks, sounding relieved, "I can't believe we never checked his records…"
"We never thought they'd be able to find something like that," he told her comfortingly, "but it seems like once again we've got Cathy to thank for Harry's life."
"She's been so good considering," agreed Tonks, giving a muffled yawn, "how has she been today?"
"Once she calmed down she was fine, she surprised me by talking to me about Harry, and her worries about him waking up," he replied, before giving a sigh, "she won't sleep though, she's been drawing again, did a rather fetching one of Harry that I had to really persuade her to show me. She's got an incredible talent."
"Mmm," she replied, "we'll have to do something about that...Do you think this antidote will work?"
"I hope so," he said heavily, "I was beginning to get really worried…Madam Pomfrey seemed to be at a loss this past week - I think she's happier now she got some direction. It'd be better if Cathy had told us more about what happened."
"I don't think she wanted too," she said sleepily, snuggling against him more, "would you? You know what those people are like to magical people, imagine to her…"
Remus tightened his grip around her waist and thought about what she said. He remembered the reports he'd read the first time round, the sheaves of notes Tonks left lying about, that Moody and Kingsley bought to the house, some of the things in them made your blood run cold.
"Don't you think it's odd," he said finally in a hesitant voice, "that she was hardly injured at all, whereas Harry…well."
"Mmm," replied Tonks in a far-off voice, obviously teetering on the edge of sleep, "maybe she hid…"
"We never found out how they got away…" he mused, almost to himself now, "from all those Death Eaters…"
Remus thought about this some more and before long he heard the sound of Tonks breathing become more steady and regular. She was obviously asleep and he smiled to himself, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair.
Things between them seemed to be progressing relatively easily and naturally he thought to himself, he had been so worried about it when he thought about that night he first kissed her. She was so much younger than him and seemed so different he had thought it wouldn't work at all, but the Tonks he knew and the Tonks everyone else seemed to see were completely different he'd come to realise.
He let himself dwell for a few minutes later before telling his brain to be quiet and let him sleep, he was so exhausted and it was all too easy just to close his eyes and drift off…
What seemed like a second later he was jerked awake by a knocking on the door. Dozily pulling his eyes open and feeling confused for a moment by the wall of blue he was greeted by, he stretched out slightly, realising Tonks was still lying next to him, fast asleep. He looked down at her vaguely before looking out the window, it was pitch black.
The knocking at the door began again and he looked at it blankly for a few seconds.
"Yes?" he called out, pausing to yawn and sit up straighter, trying to balance Tonks on the sofa.
"Remus," said Charlie breathlessly, bursting through the door to Remus' surprise, "I've got-"
He broke off mid-sentence as he caught sight of Tonks on the bed, whom he stared at for a few moments before looking up to Remus who inwardly cringed. Without saying anything, Charlie retreated back through the door, pulling it closed with a snap. Remus hastily tried to get off the bed without disturbing Tonks, practically vaulting over her and limping across to the door, the sleep had left his whole right side numb.
When he got out onto the landing he saw Charlie standing with his back to him, looking up at one of the many family portraits this floor held. Remus noticed the back of his neck was red, but also that his fists were clenched at his side. He decided to play this as cool as possible.
"What did you want Charlie?" he asked.
Charlie whirled round and stared at Remus for a few moments, he was quite surprised to see how angry he was, but after a few moments of staring him dead in the eye he didn't say anything.
"Charlie?" he asked, suddenly wondering if he was going to hit him, though he couldn't see any reason why.
"Madam Pomfrey just sent a message for you," he said suddenly, his voice shaking with some emotion, "I think she might want you to go to Hogwarts."
"Really?" he exclaimed, forgetting all about the awkward situation, "Did she say why, is Harry ok?"
"I don't know, the message came through on the fire," he said, handing him a parchment slip.
Remus beamed and clutched the paper tightly, turning back towards the room as if in a dream – Harry could be awake, he just knew he was, it was almost too good to be true. Cathy would be so happy.
"She's probably asked for Tonks as well," said Charlie sharply, just as he was walking through the door, "you might want to wake her up."
Remus paused, wondering what he should say to this, whether he should talk to Charlie about this now or get ready to go to Hogwarts. However the bitterness in his voice made Remus finally turn around and looked at the man steadily.
"I'll do that," he said finally in measured tones, "she's been waiting for this."
He gave look that was half way between a smirk and a frown and Remus gave a nod, wanting, and ready, to go. Charlie looked like he was fighting his conscious to say something and Remus turned away, if Harry really was awake then he had more important places than standing here with Charlie discussing their love lives.
"She's too young for you," he said in a hard voice just as he was walking through the door.
He sighed and turned around, giving Charlie a level look.
"It's not really got anything to do with you, has it?" he asked calmly.
He looked outraged and his knuckles were now white with the pressure of his clenched fists and he attempted to stare Remus down.
"Look Charlie, can I ask you not to say anything?"
"Why, don't want anyone to find out about your sordid little love affair?"
Even Remus was slightly taken aback by this, frowning at him slightly.
"No, because Tonks has only just come out of hospital and I don't think she needs anymore stress, do you?" He asked in measured tones.
Charlie had to decency to look slightly ashamed and Remus caught the glance he sent through the doorway to Tonks, who was still deeply asleep. He then looked over to Remus, staring him dead in the eye before he quite unexpectedly spun on his heel, striding down the corridor and towards the stairs. Remus gave another sigh, closing his eyes wearily and he walked back into the room.
He looked down at the letter, quickly opening it, almost worried about what it would say, but he consoled himself in the fact that if it was bad news, she'd hardly write to tell him.
To Mr Lupin,
The new course of potions administered today has worked and Harry's showing signs of coming round, you are welcome to come when you can.
Madam P. Pomfrey.
Remus grinned widely and immediately knelt down beside Tonks. He watched her sleeping for a moment, she looked so calm and peaceful, not like the exhausted face he was used to seeing when she was awake. After a few moments he gave a sad smile and reached out, shaking her shoulder slightly.
She made a noise, shifting on the seat slightly before falling silent again, still deeply asleep.
"Tonks?" he said, shaking her shoulder again, "wake up."
"Mmm," she mumbled, followed by an incoherent sentence that sounded suspiciously like, "get tha dog outta ma car…"
He smiled slightly but didn't allow himself to enjoy watching her mumble her way into consciousness.
"Tonks!"
"Wha?" she asked vaguely, pulling her eyes open and looking at him for a few moments before finally giving a smile of recognition, "M-morning."
She gave a wide yawn.
"It's not morning yet," he said with a grin, "Madam Pomfrey's sent for us, I think Harry's awake."
"Really?" she asked, sitting bolt upright, scaring him slightly, "is he ok?"
"I don't know yet, I suppose it's a bit of a stupid question asking if you want to come with me?"
"Yes," she laughed, swinging her legs over the bed and rubbing her face and trying to blink away her sleep.
Remus moved around the room, putting together a bag to stay the night at Hogwarts and was pulling his travelling cloak from the chair by his desk when Tonks wandered over, already ready to go.
"The beauty of sleeping in your clothes," she told him, giving an exhausted yawn
"Are you up to apparating to Hogsmeade or do you want to Floo it to Dumbledore's office?" he asked worriedly, noticing how unsteady she looked on her feet.
She looked as if she were about to reply that she was fine apparating, but seemed to think better of it and instead gave him a slight shrug and an embarrassed smile.
"Floo would be nice," she suggested and Remus grinned.
"Right, let's go," he nodded, not making a big thing of it and heading towards the door.
They went downstairs, passing the empty hole where the portrait of Mrs Black had once been, although Remus had come hate that portrait, it was eerie that it was so quiet in the hallway now – everyone had grown used to tiptoeing down there now.
When they entered the kitchen to use the largest fire, Remus saw Charlie and Bill sitting at the table. Charlie was glaring at the glass in front of him whereas Bill merely nodded over to Remus, small smile on his face. Tonks gave another yawn.
"Alright guys?" she asked vaguely, not really interested in the answer as she searched her bag for something.
"Sleep well?" asked Charlie challengingly.
"First decent nights sleep in a while," she replied, unaware of the look he'd given her or the tone.
Bill and Remus shared a worried look.
"Yeah, I bet."
She looked across to him, puzzled for a moment before locating whatever she was searching for, a leather pouch of floo powder. Without saying anything and after giving Remus a look, she pulled out a handful of powder and handed the pouch to him.
"See you later guys," she said in a quiet voice, before stepping into the fire.
Remus couldn't decide whether to say anything or not but was saved having to think of something when Bill spoke up.
"Oh grow up," he muttered, almost inaudibly to Remus, who saw Charlie look up to him swiftly.
If looks could kill…
"Best tell Molly if Harry really is awake," said Remus, looking Charlie dead in the eye, before stepping into the flames.
Harry was waking up.
She'd been waiting for this moment for so long, hoping, praying, waiting like her life depended on it, but now it actually was…she couldn't cope.
Remus and Tonks had woken her up, the Weasley's were apparently on their way, an immeasurable amount of people seemed to be filling the Hospital Wing, silently waiting as the Matron fluttered backwards and forwards across Harry. They kept a respectful distance, watching avidly as she could do nothing but stand where she'd leapt from her bed, staring at the scene unfolding. Her entire life was going to be decided on how Harry acted towards her now, and deep down she didn't really know how that would be.
She didn't even know the Harry that was lying in that bed. She knew her Harry, the Harry who went to her old school, who ate McDonalds, who hated horror movies, got angry at her for drinking too much, made fun of her accent…This Harry, the wizard, someone who flew on a broomstick for fun, someone who could do anything with magic, could breathe underwater…who was he?
Maybe Hermione was right, maybe she'd been right all along…he was going to wake up long enough to tell everyone he'd had his taste of her world, that she wasn't needed anymore…Then she'd be gone, back to living that life…
She didn't want that to happen, but almost equally, she was afraid that Harry would wake up and she'd realise she didn't want him anymore. What if he was too different? What if…she gulped querulously now…what if she didn't love him anymore?
The silence of the Hospital Wing was now broken by the sound of murmuring, something was happening! She began to tremble, so indecisive was she over what to do - she wanted to push through the throng of people and sit by his side, she wanted to run away to safety. Her hands were shaking, her heart was pumping as if she'd run miles, her breath was coming out in trembling gasps.
"Harry?" asked a voice in the silence, "Can you hear me Harry?"
Kitty couldn't take it any more, she found the feet that had been stuck to the floor before jumping into action without any command from her brain. They were taking her away, bare soles slapping down on cold stone as they led the way, mind somewhere else. She didn't know how long she'd been running for, but she soon became aware that her prickling, sweating skin was raised in goosebumps against the cool nights air and her lungs were burning and she stumbled to a halt.
She looked around herself desperately, she was at the edge of the great black lake where it met the forest she'd been forbidden from entering. She walked with shaking legs over to one tree, whose finger-like branches were dipped into the water and dropped into a heap at the base of the trunk. She drew her knees up to her chin and gazed out across the water, feeling shielded by the mighty tree from everything.
"I can't find her anywhere," said Tonks worriedly as she met Remus at the doorway to the Hospital Wing some twenty minutes later.
"I've checked the Library, asked most of the paintings, no ones seen her," he said, looking into the room and biting his lip.
"She's not on the steps where she usually is," she replied, "where could she be Remus? You don't think she's run away again do you?"
"No, I think she must just be scared…" he said quietly, moving out of the doorway so they could talk more privately.
"But why? She's been waiting so long for this?" Tonks whispered.
"Perhaps she's worried about what to say, how to act…" he replied, "she's only ever known the person Harry wanted her to see - now she's got to face who he really is."
Tonks gave a sigh and ran a hand through her hair, "We've got to find her Remus."
"Let's check the grounds," he suggested, "she tends to head outside doesn't she? I just hope she hasn't decided to try the forest again."
"She wouldn't, not now," Tonks told him as they walked slowly towards the Entrance Hall, hoping she was right.
She hadn't realised how tiring it would be just to walk around. She'd been out of hospital a few days now, but the utter weariness seemed to be fixed within her bones now and the thought of walking even down the steps filled her with fatigue. However, she put on a brave face and slowly followed Remus - she thought she'd been doing a pretty good acting job until Remus slipped a hand around her waist and steadied and supported her.
"I'm ok really," she told him stubbornly.
"You don't need to pretend with me," he told her simply.
She gave a grin, feeling inexplicably touched at this - he was right, she didn't need to lie with him, and this made her happier than she thought she could put into words.
They reached the steps, walking down them slowly and surveying the grounds. She could be anywhere, Cathy had an amazing knack for disappearing if she wanted to.
They were finally, inexplicably drawn towards the lake, knowing that Kitty had a certain fascination for it, having once gone for a 'swim' in the inky black waters.
"Look, there she is," whispered Tonks suddenly, pointing to a huddled shape beneath a weeping willow.
"Maybe you should go over?" he suggested, allowing her to stand on her own now.
She nodded and began to edge closer to the girl, who seemed completely oblivious to her presence. Tonks gulped worriedly, Kitty had her knees drawn up tight to her chest and had her chin balanced on her folded arms, eyes glittering in the darkness.
"Wotcher Cathy," she said softly, coming to a halt a few metres away from her.
Kitty inclined her head slightly but made no sound and after a few moments Tonks moved closer.
"What are you doing out here?" she asked, lowering herself heavily to the floor.
Kitty didn't reply, shaking her head silently and Tonks watched her carefully. She'd never seen her like this and was slightly worried, had something else happened she wasn't aware of?
"What's wrong Cathy?" she asked anxiously, laying a hand on the girls shoulder.
Again she shook her head, but then gave a small sniff that instantly told Tonks what was wrong - she was crying. She was well aware of the fact that through everything that had happened since she'd met the girl, she'd never seen a single tear shed and realised this must have been a big thing.
"Oh come here sweetie," she said, pulling the girl into a hug.
Instead of lashing out or shrugging her off as she'd expected, Kitty gave a small, choked sob and wrapped her arms around Tonks tightly.
"Hush," she murmured, smoothing down her hair, "what's wrong?"
Kitty merely shook her head again, burying it into Tonks' shoulder as she began to cry. She waited patiently, looking over the girls shoulder to see Remus waiting, watching them worriedly. She tried to convey what was happening with a look, before turning her attention back to the girl.
"What's got you so upset?" asked Tonks, "Cathy? What's wrong?"
"I'm scared Tonks," she finally whispered in a tortured voice.
"What of?"
She gave another sniff, "Of what's going to happen."
"With you?" she guessed.
"Both of us."
"I don't know exactly Cathy, but I promise you I'll do everything I can to help you," she promised firmly, "Remus too. We won't let anything happen to you that you don't want, ok?"
Kitty nodded her head heavily and drew back from Tonks' hug, rubbing the tears away with quick swipes.
"What if you can't help?" she asked quietly.
"How do you mean?"
"What if what's happening to me can't be fixed?"
"I don't quite follow you," said Tonks, gazing at the girl in confusion.
"I mean, what if Harry doesn't like me anymore, now he has his friends again…" she asked painfully, sounding as if she was voicing her deepest fears, "before all this happened we'd had a few rocky days, arguing and everything…what if…what if I've been stupid to think it'd be like it was…"
"Don't think like that Cathy," cautioned Tonks, sounding worried.
"I can't help it. All this time I've been praying for him to be ok, but I don't even know the person who's in that place," she said, tears creeping back into her voice, "he's not going to be the same is he?"
"You might not have known the details of Harry's life Cathy, but you knew him didn't you?" said Tonks, understanding instantly everything the girl feared, "deep down you knew Harry, that's not going to have changed."
Kitty nodded mutely, wiping her eyes again furiously.
"But it's the details that make a person, isn't it?" she said desperately, "And Harry has a whole other life here, one that I can't understand, can't be part of."
"That's not true," she told her firmly, "you can be just as big a part of his life now than ever - more so, you've saved his life! And I know everything must be so hard for you to understand at the moment - it's hard for some of the kids coming to this school to get used to magic! But in time, it won't seem strange at all…"
"I doubt that," she replied, giving a weak, watery laugh, "paintings talk back to you and ghosts pop through the walls. And there's a giant octopus in the lake, isn't there?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't find out about that," said Tonks ruefully.
"It's a squid actually," came Remus' voice and they both looked up to see him dropping down into the grass.
"Oh, that's ok then," said Kitty in a hollow voice, "perfectly normal."
"I don't think that word will ever apply to us, eh Remus?" asked Tonks, shooting him a grin.
Kitty looked up to the castle, lights gleaming in the dark, glittering off the lake - it really was enchanting she thought. Too bad she knew what it was really like.
"Is…" she began to ask anxiously, stalling for a few moments, "is he awake..?"
"I don't know," Tonks told her quietly, "he was still out when we left to find you…"
Kitty gave a sniff, still staring at the castle.
"Do you want to go up?" Remus asked her.
"Yes," she whispered querulously, "and no…"
"You can see him on your own if you like," suggested Tonks, "that way you can be alone - how does that sound?"
Kitty thought about this for a moment.
"Terrifying," she replied.
Tonks and Remus gave a small chuckle.
"But you know what they say right?" asked Kitty, resolution in her voice, "Do one thing every day that scares you…"
"Let's go then," said Tonks happily.
They all stood up and silently headed towards the castle. Remus was helping Tonks, who was looking pale faced and exhausted now and Kitty walked alongside him, staring at the floor as she tried to calm down her madly hammering heart. This was it, the moment she'd been hoping for, praying for, dreading…
Now they were entering the entrance hall, the corridors cool compared to the summers day outside and she stared at the flagstone floor in a kind of daze, half-excited, half-terrified.
Then they were at the door to the hospital wing and she paused momentarily before pushing it open, she couldn't put it off any longer, here was her fate, waiting for her…
Harry's bed had a silent audience of people surrounding it and as the three approached they could hear the Matron talking loudly, words echoing around the room.
"Harry?" she asked clearly, "Harry? Can you hear me?"
Kitty sidestepped her way to the front, moving past black-robed witches and wizards as she finally got a glimpse of Harry's bed. She felt like her heart was in her throat now, the Matron was leaning over the bed and Harry's head was turning towards her groggily.
Kitty let out a noise half-way between an exclamation of laughter and shock, raising a shaking hand to her mouth as she stared at his face, yellow and waxen, but twisting into a grimace of pain. Someone next to her took a deep shuddering breath, as if they were trying to hold back the tears, and she glanced to her side to see Hermione and Ron, both staring avidly at the bed.
"Harry? You're at Hogwarts Harry, can you hear me?"
She couldn't even think now, her mind seemed to have gone blank. It was as if everything she could see and hear and feel, wasn't even real. It was too much to deal with. She aware in some way that tears were sliding down her face silently and that she was shaking.
"Where's ssshe?" came a raspy voice suddenly in the silence.
It took her a second realise it had come from Harry and that a murmur had chased around the assembled waiting.
"Harry?" asked the Matron again, before casting a quick spell.
"Kitty…" he whispered, so quietly she could hardly hear it, "Kitty?"
Her heart began to hammer against her chest and she stared at his lips, daring him to say again, please let it not be her imagination…
"Harry, how do you feel?" she replied loudly, "Where does it hurt?"
Kitty felt herself step forward slightly, as if in a dream.
"Where's she?" he asked a little louder this time, "Where's…Kitty?"
She wanted to say something, but she felt as if her throat was being squeezed tightly, as if speaking would hurt too much.
"Is she…" he began painfully, sounding almost panicked, "is she…"
She could hear it in his voice, he thought she was dead, he thought she hadn't made it.
"Is she…"
"Harry," Kitty whispered, stepping forward again, "I'm here…"
At the sound of her voice he turned to look at her, and Kitty got a fleeting glimpse of dull, murky green eyes before her own eyes went blurry with tears. Before she really knew what she was doing, she was striding towards him, unable to take it any longer. She was sobbing loudly, whatever veil of disbelief that had been holding back the emotion suddenly disappearing. She stood next to him, throwing her arms around him as she buried her face into the pillow next to his head.
"You're ok," she sobbed after a shuddering breath, "you're ok…oh my God…you're ok…"
"Kitty," he whispered, wrapping his own arms around her weakly, "How…You…"
She held him even closer, a strange, powerful new emotion coursing through her veins. She'd already told him she loved him, but this seemed to be more than that - deeper, stronger. She wanted him to tell him that, about how she felt, about the past two weeks, about everything she'd learned. She wanted to tell him what she'd done in the graveyard, how Tom Riddle was gone, how they'd escaped, what she'd done…But she couldn't seem to say anything, her throat was too tight and her thoughts too jumbled to articulate what she knew she should say.
"Kitty…I'm sorry…"
There didn't seem to be anything else he could say either and she didn't know what else to do but cry and cling on to him, feeling as if she been granted a second chance, that she'd been given back what she'd lost.
Remus stood close to Tonks, steadying arm around her waist as they, like everyone else in the Hospital Wing, watched Harry and Kitty silently. He didn't think he'd ever seen two people more unaware of their surroundings, more completely oblivious to the world, more ecstatic yet exhausted than Harry and Kitty. It was a strange moment he reflected sometime later, no one had spoken, even the Matron had just stood back and watched them.
Perhaps, he wondered vaguely, no one knew what to say, or just perhaps, they wanted to enjoy someone's perfect moment.
Ron and Hermione, he realised, was watching the pair in gobsmacked silence, mouths hanging slightly open, telling shade of guilt creeping up their cheeks and he glanced across to Tonks to see if she'd noticed. However, she was also staring at the two, pale faced, but a small telling-smile on her lips. She more than anyone had been waiting for this, he thought to himself, she'd always been on Kitty's side. Tonks looked across to him and they swapped a brief smile that said it all, before he looked back to the pair.
They were clinging onto each other in desperate silence, like a ship wrecked person who had finally found another survivor in their fathomless sea of isolation. The expression on Harry's face was one he'd seen once, a long time ago, mirrored on the face of James during the height of the war. And in that moment he understood what Kitty had silently been telling them all since she'd arrived, what he knew but they had all failed to grasp since Harry disappeared when they question why he would do something like this.
They were in love. And nothing in the world could ever change that fact.
Kitty had her eyes squeezed tight shut, almost thinking that if she opened them she might wake up, that all this was just some beautiful dream. All she wanted to do was stay there forever, clinging onto Harry, just taking in his presence, the fact he was awake.
He was back with her.
"I missed you Harry," she whispered quietly, "so much…"
"Me too…I thought, I thought…you were dead…" he rasped and she drew back slightly so she could study his face.
"Tough as old boots, me," she managed to choke out, carefully brushing his hair away from his eyes, "you're not that…l-lucky…"
He gave a sudden grimace of pain and his fingers clench convulsively for a moment. She gave a frightened start, patting the bedclothes and furiously wiping her tears away.
"How do you feel?" she tried to say.
He merely shook his head wordlessly, expression of his face being answer enough.
"How…long?" he asked, dry, raw voice sounding weak and pitiful.
"Nearly two weeks?" she said, giving a weak smile despite her tears, "You scared the shit out of me, you bastard."
He gave another grimace of pain and she took in his waxy, yellow skin and dull eyes with a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach. He wasn't better yet. She placed a hand on either side of his face, studying him even closer, aware that his murky green eyes were following her every movement.
For some reason it felt almost eerie to see.
"What…happened?" he asked, voice sounding dry and raw.
She looked him for a long second, becoming more aware that people were all around them, watching and listening.
"Not important right now," she whispered, smoothing the hair off his forehead for a moment.
She was aware that her feelings at the moment were difficult to contain, perhaps even more so because she knew deep down that things would soon have to be said, decisions made, stories told that wouldn't be fed by this euphoria of him awakening. She knew a time would come when the anger and frustration, the hurt and guilt would come bursting out, and she didn't know if they were strong enough to deal with it, that it could be made better.
"You're safe," she managed to croak out as her vision blurred with tears, "that's all that matters right now…"
And she began to cry, releasing everything she'd felt since that terrible night, feeling as if the breath she'd been holding for weeks was suddenly over.
AN/ I'm sorry for the shockingly long wait for the next chapter! In this time I have got my degree and been digging in Portugal in a Neanderthal cave for the entire World Cup! Had the good fortune to watch us being knocked out by the Portuguese, d'oh! (Well done France btw!)
Never mind! Yay Harry's finally awake! I hope you liked this chapter and don't study my scrappy knowledge of 'muggle' medicine too much, I only watch it on TV and don't claim knowledge, lol.
What do you think?