Here?

'It could be a career ending injury. We all knew that something wasn't right but it was put down to him grieving.' Boden's words kept repeating as if they were on a loop in his head. When Matt had been called into the Chief's office he wasn't expecting to be told that Kelly had been working with a broken neck, or that he needed to have serious surgery. Matt figured that Boden didn't have all the details, or if he did that he had not shared them all as it felt like there were huge gaps in the information.

Now though, a lot of pieces fell into place after Andy's death. The deflection, the isolation, and the strange behaviour all made sense. Kelly did what Kelly did best. Hide. Evade. And risk losing everything out of fear. But worst of all he could have killed himself or someone else.

However there were still pieces that he couldn't seem to make fit; and he still had questions that needed to be answered. Like when did it happen? How long has he been hiding it? What was the prognosis? Where did the decision to go to Madrid come from? As mad as he was, he still cared.

Matt shook his head as he reached the apartment door, and forcefully knocked on it. He didn't care that the sun wasn't even up, he had to know the truth, had to make the final pieces fit.

The door swung open and revealed a very pissed off blonde. "Casey?" Shay was barely awake and seeming angry at the same time for being woken up but her face morphed into one of panic at the sight of him.

"Where is he?" He asked already making his way past Shay and into the apartment.

"Upstairs sleeping. Like I was." Shay replied making Matt turn to head up the stairs but before he could she grabbed his arm making him stop and turn back to her.

"Shay?" The look on her face was unrecognisable, there were a mixture of emotions that he couldn't pinpoint. But he could also see her exhaustion.

"Take it easy on him, and give him at least another hour to sleep. He hasn't been asleep long. I'll make some coffee. Also gives you some time to think about what you're going to say to him calmly and rationally." The last few words were pointed and reminded him just how protective Shay was. It also suddenly dawned on him that she was complicit to Kelly's injury, although how complicit he would never really know, nor would he ever ask.

"How bad is it really?" He followed her dutifully to the kitchen, taking a seat on the stool at the counter as she began the coffee machine.

"How much do you know?" She countered with.

"Only what Boden told me and that wasn't much... That his neck is broken and the surgery is the only option."

"And why did you come here?" She asked knowing they still weren't on the best of terms.

"I want him to explain it to me, all of it." It was the only answer he could come up with.

"He still hasn't accepted it. There's still so much that he doesn't know." She placated as she placed a steaming hot cup of coffee down in front of him.

Before either of them could say anything else, a pained grunt sounded through the near silent apartment. Shay reacted quickly, moving from behind the counter and heading for the stairs just as Kelly was slowly descending them.

Matt watched in surprise at the natural ease of Shay as she moved to position his arm against his chest to ease the agony that he was in. What caught him off guard was how bad Kelly looked now that the truth was out, it was like the facade had crumbled leaving a broken shell of the previously indestructible Squad lieutenant. The dark circles under his eyes, the grimaces of pain, and the paleness of his skin highlighted the severity to Matt.

"Was someone at the door?" Kelly grimaced as he spoke, his voice was soft and tired sounding.

"Casey's here... I wanted you to get some more sleep before I woke you up." She explained softly, the concern strongly evident.

"Casey's here?" Kelly asked almost as if he didn't understand her words, or couldn't comprehend them.

"Yeah, in the kitchen. Let's get you sitting on the couch. I'll get you a heat pack and some coffee." Shay gently directed him away from the stairs. He didn't put up an argument as she helped him settle down into the couch, and braced his arm on some pillows. He didn't even mention that he wasn't allowed to have anything to eat or drink knowing Shay was stressed enough.

Shay left Kelly's side once he was settled and returned to the kitchen. Matt looked at her, watched as she moved effortlessly to pour another cup of coffee, and put the heat pack in the microwave. She held the cup of coffee out to him, giving him the invite to go sit with Kelly.

"Remember what I said." She reminded him as he took the cup from her. With a nod he headed for the lounge.

Matt placed their coffees down on the table then sat down next to Kelly, twisting his body so he was facing him. The anger that he felt was fading fast, as the sadness grew just as fast.

Shay made her way over and delicately tucked the heat pack round his neck and shoulder. "I'll be upstairs." She murmured quietly with a quick glance at Matt before she left, ascending the stairs quickly, and leaving them alone.

"What are you doing here Casey?" Kelly didn't have the fight left in him to pick a fight. He had avoided the conversation for longer than he should have, and he knew he had to be honest, he owed Matt that much.

"I'm here for you Sev. Your neck is broken."

"I'm well aware of that fact. You want answers, that's why you're here." Matt forgot that Kelly could read him as well as he could.

"I came here wanting answers, yes, I admit that... But we've been through to much not to be there for each other. I mean, how the hell are you even functioning? And how the hell did it even happen?" At Matt's two questions, he could see the change in Kelly, could see the shame and then the sadness that plagued him.

"I've done a lot of stupid things. Disappointed a lot of people... Andy died, the day in that house fire, that's when I broke it. I didn't know it then though." The admission was stark and heavy for both men. "I could be paralysed. The experimental surgery could paralyse me." The reality of the dangers was setting in for Kelly whilst Matt was struggling with all that he had just learned especially given how freely the information was flowing out.

"And Madrid with Renée?"

"A way to escape. I thought I could start over, go with the safe surgery with the year long recovery, settle down with a woman. Have a life without Squad."

"Kelly..."

"You don't need to tell me how stupid I've been. I know. I realised when I told Boden, it all hit me. I could have hurt anyone. Can't blame anyone or the department for not wanting me."

"I wasn't going too... I was going to say I wish you felt that you could have come to me. And I want you to know that I'm here for you, whatever you need."

"I can't be helped." His words were beginning to slur as the emotional toll of the conversation set in despite the pain he was in.

"Get some sleep Sev." Matt stood up knowing that the conversation had been intense for both of them, and Kelly had already been exhausted before they had even started.

Matt picked up both cups, now full of cold coffee, and made his way to the kitchen to pour them out. He put both cups in the sink and then braced his hands on the edge of the counter top and let his head drop as he let out a soft sign. Despite their conversation being short and only skimming over the top of everything, he felt completely overwhelmed and exhausted all at the same time. He had no idea how Kelly or Shay had been dealing with this for so long without breaking down or letting the secret slip.

"You alright?" He startled at Shay's voice as he hadn't heard her move through the apartment. He lifted his head and turned around to look at her. "He's asleep for now." She added seeing Matt glance over her shoulder towards Kelly on the couch.

"I don't know how he or you have been doing this the whole time. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all and I'm exhausted." Matt knew it wasn't fair to add more to Shay's already overburdened plate.

"Take each day as it comes. The surgery is tomorrow, well today, and he's terrified even though he doesn't want to show or admit it. I'll be there when he wakes up and through the recovery. What he needs is support and comfort. He's getting help and it's been a huge step to get him here... This isn't just about him being hurt or Andy,'s death, this is about him and who he is." She didn't sugarcoat things for him. She wasn't expecting anything from him. She could see his shock, and could understand it.

"I should go. Let you both get some sleep." Matt didn't want to leave but knew he should. They all needed sleep.

"He'll be awake in half an hour or so, and I'm not going back to sleep. You can stay, ease your mind and distract his." Both men needed each other and she knew it, even if they didn't.

"Thanks Shay." The invitation was accepted with ease. What he said was the truth, they had been through to much to abandon each other now.