Author's note: New chapter! I actually now have no idea how long I want this fic to be. I hope you all realise that the plan was for it to be around 20 chapters long. It's now well and truly exceeded that expectation. Anyway, as always, please review with any requests you have for the story, what you want to see in the direction of the fic, any details you'd like to have filled out/included. I'll do my very best to put them in!
On another note, I've just started writing another, new fic! It's looking to be another, really long one, just like this one was, but obviously, when I put it up, I'll have to see how people react to it and if they want to see any more from it before I continue. Anyway, I'll probably also get more into it when this fic is done, which will hopefully be fairly soon. I think I first started writing this in October(?!) wow.
I'm now hoping Thank You won't be much more than 30 chapters long, if that.
Anyway, I totally wrote out the outline for Dean's proposal the other day. Sorry, I just couldn't wait. I had to tell you that.
And this chapter is super short in comparison to the last few.
Anyway, new fic outline! It's another AU, in another world, and it's one of those Angel/Demon/Human stories. Basically, Dean is the son of John Winchester, the king of a human kingdom, and Castiel is the prince of an angel kingdom. It's totally more complicated than that, but that's the (very very) basic background of all of it. If/When I do get round to publishing it, I hope you all like it! Please message me on my tumblr ( .com) if you want any more details on it!
On the subject of warnings for this chapter, there is mainly only language, but that's about it. Also mild nsfw-speak, but no smut. Yeah, that's about it, think.
A huge thank you to all you lovely reviewers!
Perdition Raiser - Thank you lovely. Cas is adorable. I smile whenever I'm writing him. :') (Or whenever he's on the show.) And I get really sad whenever I write about Dean's feelings for himself, it makes me really upset knowing how much he hates himself. Like, in the fic, and in the show. I actually really want him to start feeling better-that'll be in the next few chapters, I hope. Anyways, thank you very much for reviewing!
ninar77 - Well, thank you! I think we're basically done with the dean/cas angst for this fic. To be honest, writing it makes me feel kind of angsty, myself. Which is a little weird. But thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you thought it was well done, that makes me feel very happy. It's very sweet of you to say!
Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters in it. I also do not own the song this fic is named after, or the band who wrote it.
As always, I hope you enjoy! And please review! also, please review with any requests you have for the direction of the fic, and thoughts on the new fic that I'm writing!
Chapter 26
Dean could smell Castiel in the air as he began to wake up, slowly, leisurely, the next morning. He smiled at the warm familiarity of it, of the searing joy the scent set in his heart; and, as the memories of the previous night came washing back over him, he felt himself redden, slightly. He didn't know what to say about his actions, how it was he could possibly explain them—he squirmed slightly with embarrassment as he ran over, in his mind all of the things he had said to Cas whilst feeling so on edge, so shitty and miserable about himself. He cringed internally, hoping, praying, that he hadn't scared Cas off. He'd been weird—fucking terrifying and creepily intense and actually, Cas would have every excuse to think that Dean was a fucking freak, now.
And he kind of was, anyway.
Dean loathed himself an obscene amount.
He felt Castiel stretch himself out against Dean's body, stifling a sleepy, happy moan against Dean's chest, his breath tickling Dean's skin softly, and the warmth returned to Dean. His lips tugged upwards once more, drawing out his lips into a smile, and his hand wandered, almost subconsciously, into Castiel's hair. His fingers tangled themselves through each tuft, licking his lips slowly as he did so. It felt soft and slightly ruffled between each of his fingers, and he sighed happily at the feeling, as Cas purred at the touch, nuzzling gently at Dean's skin.
Dean loved Cas an obscene amount, too.
More memories from the night before washed slowly over Dean's mind, and he felt an odd, nervous, elated anticipation build up quickly in his gut. It tugged sharply at his nerves, and he wondered quickly about the sincerity of Cas' remark, of whether he had been thinking straight, had been being honest, when he had said it. Dean prayed he had been.
Cas wanted to move in with him.
Dean had only been joking when he'd made the suggestion, really—well, not really; he had been secretly longing for it, desperately so, for what felt like a lifetime. He wanted, so badly, to live with Cas once more. Almost as much as he wanted to ask Cas to marry him, once again.—But the suggestion had been an awful slip of the tongue; accidental. When Dean had said it, he hadn't been thinking straight, he'd just blurted it out—it could hardly be described as being intentional.
But Cas had said he wanted to. Had said he wanted to move in with Dean.
Well, sort of—Cas would be spending the weekend with Dean—and the rest of today—which Dean was already overjoyed about, although he had no idea what it was exactly that the two of them should be doing—and, as well as all this, Dean would be spending any spare time he had during the week with Cas—and then after all of this; on Sunday night, after their weekend together, Castiel would decide whether he still wanted to live with Dean, just yet.
Dean already knew what his decision would be. He knew for absolutely certain. There were no doubts casting any kind of shadows of concerns in his mind, but there may well be more than a few in Cas'.
It was a pretty crazy decision.
And for Castiel to make the decision that Dean truly longed for, in the pit of his heart, Dean would have to show Cas how truly sorry for his actions he really was. He would have to prove how much he meant all that he had said to Cas over the past few days. Although doing that looked like a pretty mammoth task. And Dean had no idea of how he was supposed to achieve it.
That said, whatever choice Castiel made, Dean would understand. He had to understand. And Cas was being unbelievably forgiving just giving Dean the time of day, right now; let alone being his boyfriend, again. And moving in with Dean—or saying that he wanted to—was really just another sign of how freaking perfect Castiel was. He was impossibly forgiving, unbelievably kind. Dean had no idea why Cas loved him. Why he still loved him. Not that he was complaining. When Cas had forgiven him, the night of Michael and Rachel's wedding; when Cas had said that he still loved Dean, something inside of Dean had almost broken with happiness. It had made his mind falter completely, it had made Dean's heart swell impossibly.
Joy and disbelief and blistering adoration had shattered through Dean's body.
And ever since that night—ever since Dean had first met Cas, truth be told—Dean's feelings had only boiled inside him more and more, stronger and stronger. They had only grown, in infinite proportions. Which he wouldn't have thought possible—he certainly wouldn't have thought he could feel any more deeply for the dark haired man a few weeks ago; when Cas was still gone from his life—but he'd been wonderfully, unimaginably wrong. Dean's feelings bubbled stronger and stronger inside of him, every day. They'd never leave him; he knew that for certain. He'd never be able to stop loving Cas. He'd never want to, anyway.
Cas grumbled again and pulled Dean's body tighter against his own, and Dean found himself laughing quietly at the gesture, at the sound of Cas' disgruntlement voice rumbling sleepily in his chest, reverberating against Dean's skin.
"I don't want to wake up." Castiel moaned against Dean, and Dean chuckled, quietly, softly, again. He grazed his hands softly up Cas' body, bound tightly against his own.
"I forgot how grumpy you could be in the mornings." Dean laughed once more, pressing his nose against the top of Cas' head and stroking his fingers tenderly down Cas' spine. "I've missed it."
Cas laughed, his lips twitching upwards, sleepily, but grumbled again against Dean's body.
"Shut up." He moaned, his words barely audible, they were so slurred with sleep. Dean snorted with amusement. His fingers wandered into Cas' hair and curled into it as they stroked gently at Cas' soft, messy tufts. "You're grumpy in the mornings, too, sometimes." Castiel protested.
"No I'm not." Dean opposed, frowning slightly.
"Yeah, you are." Castiel was the one to laugh, this time, and he shifted his body up, slightly, so that he could press a kiss to Dean's clavicle. Dean sighed happily at the motion, despite himself, feeling amusement ghost over Cas' features as he continued to brush tender, affectionate kisses against Dean's collarbone.
"Like when, exactly?"
"After the Christmas holidays." Castiel laughed again. "Like, just after them. You were awful." He chuckled. Dean grinned and sighed in amusement, brushing his fingers against Cas' back again.
"Touché." Dean laughed. "I was never as bad as you, though."
"Oh, really?" Castiel grinned, pressing his face against Dean's skin.
"Really." Dean confirmed, attempting to nod seriously, but failing rather miserably. Castiel chuckled huskily and leant up, onto his elbows, to kiss Dean properly, on the lips. Dean let a happy purr rumble deep in his throat at the motion, escaping into Castiel's mouth appreciatively.
"You want to bet on that?" Cas grinned against Dean's mouth.
"Probably not." Dean admitted, pressing his head back against the pillow to beam up at Cas.
"I thought so." Cas smirked, kissing Dean again for a moment, before pulling back to lie back down, again, resting his head against Dean's shoulder and drawing soft, simple patterns of sweet nonsense onto Dean's chest. Dean purred, yet again, at Cas' touches, and Castiel beamed and pressed a kiss to Dean's shoulder.
"I love you, Cas." Dean sighed, happily.
"I love you too." Castiel beamed yet again. There was a small, sleepy silence for a few moments, before Castiel spoke again. "Dean?"
"Yeah, Baby?"
"You realise—if we moved in together—again—that this is how we'd get to spend every morning, together?"
"If you're trying to persuade me to say yes, Cas, I should probably tell you now that I'm already pretty fucking sold on the idea." Dean laughed, and Castiel breathed out a chuckle and hugged Dean's body tighter to his own.
"That wasn't exactly what I meant, Dean." Castiel's voice smiled.
"What did you mean, then?"
"I was saying—well—that I can't wait."
"Wait—so does that mean—"
"It means things are looking pretty good, Dean." Cas laughed, kissing Dean's shoulder once more.
Dean let out a happy, shocked laugh, at everything Cas had just said.
"I'm glad." He beamed. "I'm really glad. I can't wait, either."
Cas resumed with his stroking up and down at Dean's torso, now, smiling widely against his shoulder. Dean's eyes drifted slowly closed, at the touch—Cas' hands against his skin were impossibly calming, and he felt gentle waves of contentment lulling him back into a drowsy state—and before he knew it, he was fast asleep, once more.
He woke up to the smell of frying bacon and toast, coming from his kitchen. Dean frowned and sat up, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm and squinting, bleary eyed to the alarm clock on his bedside table—he blinked at it twice, before realising that it was telling him that the time was almost eleven in the morning. Dean frowned again and stretched, noting the odd absence of Castiel beside him, the coolness of the sheets next to him, and trudged, still incredibly heavy-lidded, into the kitchen.
He found himself grinning when he was met by the sight of Cas cooking at his oven, wearing a pair of Dean's boxers and nothing else. Something warm and possessive twisted up inside of him at the sight.
"Cas." He grumbled, rubbing his eyes again. "You should've woken me up."
Cas turned around to face Dean, a beam fixing itself onto his face.
"I didn't want to." He shrugged. "You looked so happy and peaceful, asleep, and I didn't want to ruin it."
Dean huffed a tired breath of laughter and made his way, sleepily, over to Castiel, wrapping his arms around Cas' waist and resting his chin, drowsily, on Cas' shoulder. Castiel chuckled and leant into the touch as he continued preparing the the two of them their breakfast.
"And you shouldn't be cooking me breakfast, either." Dean grumbled. "You're staying over at mine—I should be the one cooking for you."
"Too bad." Castiel shrugged, grinning and tilting his head back to plant a chaste kiss on Dean's lips. Dean almost whined at how short-lived it was. "I wanted to surprise you. And you seemed really tired. And I was kind of worried you had a bit of a shitty time of it, last night, anyway. You deserve it."
"Well, thank you." Dean beamed. "It was a lovely surprise. And I could never have a shitty time of things when I'm with you, Castiel."
"That line was awful." Cas laughed, ducking his head and blushing furiously. It made Dean grin to see. "But I'm glad. I wish I could find a way of making you feel less crappy about all of this."
"You already have." Dean beamed, kissing Castiel's cheek. Cas rolled his eyes and attempted to shrug Dean off, and Dean burst out laughing. "—Wait you think I meant you made me feel better with the food?! No, Cas—I wasn't talking about the breakfast you made for us!" He laughed, grinning and pressing his face into Cas' shoulder. Cas laughed too, sounding slightly embarrassed, and looked at the floor again.
"Well, what were you talking about, then?" He asked, turning to face Dean.
"You." Dean replied simply, winding his arms around Cas' shoulders, now. Cas raised his eyebrows in confusion to Dean's response to his question, and Dean laughed and pressed his forehead firmly against Cas'. "You make me feel better. You make me feel better than better."
"Better than better?" Cas repeated, raising his eyebrows somewhat as he gazed at Dean—and Dean thought he could see Cas stifling a little laughter.
"Oh, shut up, Cas—I'm not a writer, like you—I'm not too good with words. You know that." Castiel shook his head, still smirking, "And hey, at least I'm trying."
Castiel laughed again and pressed a soft kiss to Dean's lips. Dean sighed happily against Cas' mouth and closed his eyes, but before he knew it, Cas had pulled back, and Dean whined unhappily at the motion.
"What was that for?" He moaned at Cas, and Cas rolled his eyes and pushed his hand through Dean's hair.
"Go and sit down." Cas instructed, firmly—Dean found it oddly hot—Cas telling him what to do, that is—if he was being honest. "And let me carry on making you breakfast."
"I shouldn't be letting my boyfriend cook me breakfast, in my own apartment." Dean grumbled, and Cas chuckled, brushing his fingers softly down Dean's neck.
"Well, too bad. You're going to have to. I'm treating you to this."
"It just feels wrong." Dean complained again, as Cas pushed him softly to the kitchen table and once again instructed him to sit down at it. "I feel like an asshole."
"Well, I want to do it." Cas shrugged. "Can you let me do something nice for you?" He asked, looking at Dean. Dean gazed back at him and felt a beam spread across his face.
"I'm disgracefully in love with you, Cas." He laughed.
"I know." Castiel grinned. "You have a habit of making it painfully obvious."
Dean sighed at Cas and rolled his eyes, grinning widely, despite himself.
"I've missed our mornings together."
"So have I." Cas beamed over to him, turning off the stove.
"I've missed our dumb fights, too." Dean grinned, laughing at the way Cas bit down on a laugh as he carried the food over to the table.
"You've missed a lot of things, apparently." Cas observed, giving Dean a slightly confused look. Dean laughed again.
"Yeah." He nodded. "I have. But you like them too, admit it."
"Like what?" Cas frowned, serving both himself and Dean.
Dean beamed and thanked him for the food before explaining.
"Our fights—or, not 'fights'—not proper ones, anyway. But you know, when we'd try to piss each other off for fun—"
"I didn't ever try to piss you off."
"Sure." Dean rolled his eyes.
"I wasn't ever trying to piss you off." Castiel frowned again, tilting his head to the side. "I just liked annoying you—a bit. It was funny."
Dean grinned again, laughing, and started on his breakfast.
"Oh, don't do that, Dean!" Cas sighed, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips.
"Do what?"
"Pretend that you never tried to annoy me, too!"
"I never said I didn't."
"You're even trying to do it, now." Cas squinted over at Dean, making Dean smirk slightly. Castiel was ludicrously adorable. "Deliberately."
"Well observed." Dean laughed.
"Why?"
"Hm?"
"Why are you trying to piss me off?" Castiel laughed, despite himself.
"'Cause you're really cute when you're frustrated." Dean chuckled. "Like, really cute." He grinned.
Cas looked like he was going to say something in response, then, but then he sighed at Dean and shook his head, another smile tugging grudgingly at his lips.
"It's annoying that I find you so amusing." He groaned.
"I love you." Dean beamed, his eyes soft and adoring on Castiel's face, despite the amusement curling through him.
"It feels a lot like you're only saying that to get out of trouble."
"Well, yeah." Dean admitted, smirking as Cas shook his head, exasperated, attempting to supress another amused grin. "But also 'cause it's true. I love you."
Cas snorted and began to eat his breakfast, once more.
"See, this is what I meant when I say 'fight'." Dean grinned. "It's not really fighting. But it's just really funny annoying you."
"I'm glad you think so." Castiel rolled his eyes.
"I do." Dean chuckled. "But you like pissing me off too, so it's only fair."
"Saying that I piss you off is a bit strong, Dean. I don't try to annoy you that much."
"You're right, it is kind of strongly worded." Dean admitted. "Fine. You like exasperating me."
"Like you said, it's funny. You're cute when you're annoyed."
Dean laughed again and brushed his foot against Cas', from under the table. Cas smiled slightly at the gesture.
"Is that why you cooked me breakfast this morning? In my own apartment?" Dean asked.
"Surprisingly, no." Castiel laughed. "I wanted to do something nice for you." He beamed over to Dean. "I think you deserve it."
Dean blushed, despite himself, and Castiel scoffed at him, making Dean redden only further.
"Is that okay?" Cas asked, raising his eyebrows over to Dean. Dean beamed softly at Cas, without even realising it.
"You're perfect." He found himself saying.
"I'm not." Cas frowned. "And anyway, that's not what I asked."
"Fine. This is great." Dean said, gesturing to the food in front of them. "But you're still perfect." He grinned over to Castiel.
"I'm not." Cas repeated again, ducking his head a little, his ears growing a little pink.
"You are to me."
"Give it a few years, Dean." Castiel laughed. "You'll hate me, by then."
"I really won't."
"Wanna bet?"
"Sure." Dean laughed. "How much?"
Castiel sighed and looked away, still smiling, and Dean reached over to find Cas' hand, and squeezed it softly. Cas' mouth twitched upwards at its corners.
"I'm not kidding." Dean said softly. "I could never hate you. Never ever."
"You'll find me boring." Cas stated. "One day, you'll wake up, and you'll be completely bored of me."
"I couldn't ever."
"You'll hate everything about me." Cas laughed. "That's what you'll end up doing. You'll hate the way I laugh, the way I smile, the things I say, all of it."
"Nope." Dean shook his head, certainly.
"You'll find me infuriating."
"Wait, I don't already?" Dean grinned over to Cas, making him sigh and roll his eyes again. Dean squeezed his hand. "I mean it, Baby." Dean said softly. "I couldn't ever."
Castiel looked up Dean, his expression softening slightly.
"In a few months you probably won't think that way. I give it a few months, Dean. You'll see."
"Right, well I bet you fifty dollars that in three months, I'll still be obsessed with you. And I bet you one hundred dollars that in a year I'll love you even more than I do now. And not hate you at all."
"One hundred dollars?" Cas repeated, raising his eyebrows.
"Or like, five blowjobs, let's say. I bet you five blowjobs that I won't hate you, or find you annoying, or boring. And that's whenever you want them, by the way." Dean grinned.
"What?" Castiel frowned, bursting out laughing.
"You'll get five blowjob cards—metaphorical ones, of course—you can ask for them whenever you like."
"That might become a little inconvenient for you, Dean." Castiel laughed once more.
"I don't care." Dean shrugged, still smiling wolfishly.
"So that's what I get if I win the bets?"
"If you win the first bet—which is never going to happen, by the way—you can choose between fifty dollars from me, or five blowjobs."
"And what about the second?"
"That one's either a hundred dollars, or, let's say, ten blowjobs."
"So each one is worth ten dollars?" Cas asked.
"What can I say, for you, there's a discount." Dean winked, making Cas snort in laughter yet again. "Usually I'd be way more expensive."
"How much is a handjob worth, then?"
"Me jacking you off? Hm. Probably only five dollars."
"And what happens if you're right? If you win the bets? What do I have to give you?"
"You mean when I'm right? And when I win?"
"Whatever." Cas rolled his eyes. "What happens if you win the bets?" He asked again.
"I don't know. I'd probably still give you the blowjobs, anyway." Dean shrugged, his lips twitching up into a smug smile. Castiel burst out laughing.
"Okay." He nodded at Dean. "Deal."
"I can't wait to prove you wrong." Dean winked.
"Are we really betting over when you'll start hating me?"
"Apparently." Dean chuckled. "But like I said, Castiel, I could never hate you. I never will."
"Are you sure?"
"Completely sure." Dean nodded. "I love you way too much."
Castiel ducked his head again, a smile quirking the corners of his mouth upwards yet again.
"I really want to kiss you again." Dean laughed.
"Let me clear away, first."
"No, sorry. You can't make me breakfast in my own house and then clear up, too. I'll have to be the one to do that." Dean said, tugging the plates that Cas was about to carry over to the sink out of his hand.
"You're so stubborn." Castiel sighed.
"Look who's talking." Dean laughed, kissing Cas' nose softly as he walked by him.
"I'll just have to cook you breakfast every morning when we move in together." Cas grinned, and Dean spun around to face him.
"Wait—"
"Yes, Dean, it's still looking good." He beamed affectionately.
"You really still want to?"
"Well, I've been saying so, haven't I?"
Dean sighed happily as he stared over at Cas.
"You're impossible." He laughed.
"How so?" Castiel asked, frowning in confusion.
"I don't know. I don't know how I got in this deep, I don't know how to explain you, how I feel for you, how much you mean to me. I don't know. You're just impossible."
Castiel still looked very confused, but his lips twitched upwards into a small, gentle smile over to Dean.
"That didn't make any sense, sorry." Dean shook his head, laughing at himself. He filled up the sink with hot water and placed the pan that Castiel had used to cook them breakfast in the soapy, steaming liquid.
"You don't make very much sense rather a lot of the time." Cas laughed. "I've always found you a bit of an enigma."
"I've always found you one, too." Dean chuckled, and Cas snorted in amusement.
"One question about our bet,"
"What is it?"
"If you find me annoying—or indeed, end up hating me, why will you want to give me any blowjobs?"
"I'm gonna give them to you, either way, Cas. However the bet turns out." Dean laughed. "Don't underestimate how much I love doing that shit with you—you know what I mean." He grinned, and Castiel blushed furiously. "And I always stick to my bets, so I'll give them to you, if you do win—which, by the way, is never going to happen. Like I said, I'm never gonna end up hating you."
"How can you be so sure?" Castiel frowned. Dean glanced over to him, putting down the washing up and wiping his hands on the dishcloth beside the sink. He walked quickly over to Cas, pulling him tightly into his arms.
"I couldn't possibly, Cas." He mumbled softly into Cas' neck. "It's probably for the same reasons that you know you want to forgive me."
Cas pressed himself tighter into Dean's body. Dean was almost undone by the touch.
"I love you."
"And I love you."
"I'm so glad you came back."
"I'm so glad you took me back." Dean beamed, pulling back from Cas a little so that he could stare into those brilliant, stormy eyes. He watched them soften as they gazed at Dean, and he swallowed thickly. Cas was everything to him.
Cas was everything.
The two of them leant together to kiss slowly, Dean cradling the back of Castiel's head gently, feeling Cas' thick, dark hair run softly inbetween his fingers.
"What do you want to do, today, Baby?" Dean asked, softly, against Cas' lips, still parted slightly.
"I don't mind." Castiel shrugged, smiling. "Can we just kiss for a bit?" He asked, blushing. Dean beamed down at him.
"Sure." He brushed his nose against Cas', before pressing his lips against Castiel's once more. Castiel sighed into his touch, and Dean grinned against Cas' mouth as their noses pressed awkwardly together. He tugged the two of them over to Dean's couch, as Cas' hands cupped Dean's face.
Their touches were leisurely and soft and wonderfully unhurried. Dean could feel his mind clouding over with love for Castiel—it had always done this when the two of them had spent a large amount of time together—and he felt drunk with love, for Cas, once more, just as he had been when they were together, before Dean had left, almost a year ago. He felt the same, intoxicated joy course brightly through him at Cas' touches, at the knowledge that Castiel loved him—still loved him. He had been desperate with longing for Cas for so long; had felt so lost without him for so many lonely, miserable months. He still couldn't get over that fact that Cas had forgiven him, that Cas wanted Dean back in his life once again.
"Can we listen to music on your record player, like we used to?" Cas asked, pulling away from Dean, but remaining close enough that his lips were still grazing Dean's slightly as he spoke.
"Sure." Dean beamed. Cas sat up so that Dean could get up from underneath him, and Dean walked over to his record player, biting his lip slightly as he contemplated which record to put on.
"What are you in the mood for?" Dean asked, looking back, over his shoulder, to Castiel.
"I don't mind." Castiel shrugged, smiling gently.
"I really should get you some records, too." Dean laughed. "So we can listen to all of your favourite stuff."
"Especially for when we move in together." Castiel beamed. Dean reddened furiously.
"I love you." Cas laughed. "You're terribly cute."
"Shut up." Dean blushed again, making Cas laugh, before Dean put on an old AC/DC record to play quietly in the background as Dean made his way back over to Castiel.
Cas stood up to kiss Dean almost immediately. He pushed Dean back onto the couch, and the two of them were lost in each other's touch, once more.
"You're taking me apart, Cas." Dean found himself saying, looking up at the other man. Cas looked back, steadily, at Dean.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know." Dean admitted. "I can barely breathe when I'm around you. In a good way—in the most perfect, wonderful way possible. I need you, you're like the air I breathe and you're in my blood—you're buried under my skin—I don't know—" He broke off. "I'm just lost to you."
"You say some funny things, Dean." Castiel laughed.
"They're true."
"They're also perfect." Cas beamed. "They make me smile. A lot. You make me smile."
Dean's lips twitched upwards.
"I never used to be able to say this shit to anyone else. I'm not good with talking feelings."
"But you can say them to me?"
"It's still really hard." Dean confessed. "And it still terrifies me. Like, so much, you have no idea. But I feel like if I don't say it, something inside of me will swell and burst."
"Right." Castiel frowned.
"The first time I said that I loved you, I was super terrified." Dean laughed. "I sometimes still am."
"Why?"
"I'm scared you won't return it. That you won't love me back."
"I'll always love you, Dean."
Dean broke out into a beam.
"And I love it every time you say how you feel. However strange it may come out. And however shy or awkward you may be about it."
Dean blushed.
"Thanks. And what can I say? I'm not a writer, like you."
Cas laughed and grazed his nose against Dean's.
"No, you're not." He acknowledged. "You're an artist."
"I'm a mechanic."
"And an artist. You can paint and draw and sketch better than anyone I've ever met. And the love of my life."
Dean laughed and glanced down, his eyes tracing Cas' jawline, the stubble etched over it.
"Do you still not believe in soul-mates? Or have I proven you wrong?" He found himself asking as he gazed at Castiel.
"Hm." Castiel considered. "I suppose you have."
"So you do? You do believe in soul-mates, now?"
"Yes, I guess I must do."
"And you think that I'm yours?"
"I know that you're my soul-mate."
Dean beamed and tilted his head upwards to brush his lips against Cas'.
"And you're mine." Dean grinned. Castiel grazed his nose against Dean's. "So, do you believe in destiny, too, now?"
"No." Castiel laughed. "That's one step too far, I think."
"Really?"
"Yes." Cas confirmed.
"How can you believe that two people are meant to be together, but then believe that destiny doesn't exist?"
"I don't know." Cas shrugged. "I just do."
"So you don't think it was destiny that we met?"
"You do?"
"Of course! We're meant to be, Castiel."
"What makes you so sure?"
"I've never felt so much of a sense of belonging as when I'm around you."
Castiel looked like he was considering this, for a moment.
"How long have you believed in all this stuff?"
"Not forever." Dean admitted. "It's actually quite a recent development."
"How recent?"
"I decided, properly, that I believed in it, when I first met you."
"You're so corny."
"But you love me."
"Of course I do."
"And I love you."
"I'm glad." Cas smiled.
Dean grinned and kissed Cas, softly, once again.
"Shall we head down to Ellen's, and some point, today?" He asked.
"Why?"
"'Cause we went there when we first met. It'd be cute."
"Okay." Cas smiled. Dean grinned and kissed him, slowly, again.
Dean was painfully lost to Castiel. He felt as though his mind was suspended underwater, whenever Cas was even around. He fumbled with his words and blurted out the strangest, most clichéd, most infuriating things imaginable. And yet Cas still loved him. And that fact alone was enough to make Dean feel as though he could never ever be sad again.
Castiel beamed over to Dean as he drove the two of them over to Ellen's, Dean biting down on a grin every time he glanced at Castiel.
When the two of them arrived, Dean held the door open for Cas, and Cas smiled nostalgically at the action.
"What?" Dean asked, smiling a little confusedly at Castiel's laughter.
"You did that for me when we first came here." Castiel beamed.
"I don't think I understand."
"You held the door open for me as we came in."
"Oh." Dean laughed.
"You can be very gentlemanly when you want to be." Cas chuckled. Dean rolled his eyes, his lips twitching upwards slightly.
"Well, thanks, I guess." He laughed. "Look, I'll pull out your chair for you, too."
Castiel beamed as Dean tugged his chair out from under the table and gently seated him on it, kissing Cas on the cheek softly before sitting down, too.
"Are you impressed?" Dean grinned.
"By you pulling out my chair?" Castiel laughed, raising his eyebrows at Dean.
"By me being so gentlemanly."
"Right." Castiel rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm very impressed."
Dean grinned and took Cas' hand in his own, entwining their fingers and grazing his thumb across Cas' knuckles.
"Hey, Dean." Ellen greeted as she entered the diner itself from the doors leading into the kitchen. "—And Castiel!" She exclaimed, beaming suddenly.
"Hello Ellen." Cas smiled.
"—Dean, you didn't tell me the two of you were back together!" Ellen frowned, turning to Dean. "—Wait, you are back together, aren't you?"
"Yeah." Dean grinned. "We are." He squeezed Cas' hand softly, and Cas smiled and ducked his head at the motion.
"That's brilliant!" Ellen beamed. "I've got to go tell Jo—she'll be so happy to know!"
Ellen turned back around and pushed open the door leading into the kitchen, quickly, and Castiel glanced back at Dean, who was blushing furiously.
"—Sorry." Dean said quickly, his face a mortified red.
"What for?" Castiel frowned.
"Ellen." Dean explained. "—And just in advance for Jo. She'll probably be pretty excited."
Right on cue, Jo burst out of the door, into the café.
"Dean!" She exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"I didn't really have a chance." Dean mumbled, as Ellen entered to.
"Why not?" She frowned.
"Cas and I have been—well, busy."
Jo snorted immediately, and Dean blushed an even deeper red as Ellen raised her eyebrows slightly.
"What?!—No, not like that!" Dean exclaimed, his voice rising somewhat.
"Sure." Jo grinned.
"So, how long have the two of you been back together?" Ellen asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down at the table with Dean and Castiel. Cas glanced over to Dean, feeling amusement curl through him slightly, and grinned to see Dean blushing an even deeper red, looking unspeakably uncomfortable at Ellen's apparent intrusion onto their table.
"—Um, it's kind of complicated, Ellen."
"So you two aren't really together?"
"No, we are." Cas cut in, beaming. "And since Friday, I suppose. Dean came to my brother, Michael's, wedding reception, and apologised for everything then; and explained everything."
"And you took him back?" Jo asked, sitting with them, too.
"Yes." Castiel smiled. "Well, that makes the whole thing sound very simple. Far more simple than it actually was. The truth is, the entire affair got a little overcomplicated." He laughed. "But we're here, now."
"You're here now." Ellen repeated in agreement, beaming at the pair. "And how are things going?" She asked.
"I don't know." Dean frowned shyly, when Cas glanced at him. "—Well, I know how I think they're going, but I think Cas should probably be the one to answer that."
Ellen and Jo turned, expectantly, to Castiel.
"They're going wonderfully." Castiel found himself beaming widely, and he noted with mild amusement the way in which Dean's body relaxed, at that. "Things are perfect."
"I'm glad to hear it." Ellen smiled. "I'm glad to hear Dean apologised for all the mess he made, too. I love him, but, Dean, you can be a real idiot, sometimes."
Dean blushed even more, and it made Castiel smirk slightly to see.
"Alright, you two, can you piss off?" Dean scowled. "And let us actually order some food—that's kind of what we came here for, anyway…"
"Sorry Dean." Jo laughed, standing up and pulling out a notebook and a pen to take down their order with. "I guess we forgot how easily you get embarrassed."
"Shut up." Dean grumbled, glancing down at the table.
Ellen grinned as she exited into the kitchen, winking back at Castiel as she left. Cas grinned back at her.
"What can I get you?" Jo asked, straightening up, slightly.
"What would you like, Cas?" Dean asked, turning to Castiel.
"I'll get a coffee." Cas smiled.
"Cool. Me too." Dean squeezed Cas' hand as he spoke. "And maybe we could get some fries, to share?" He asked, turning back to Jo.
"Sure." Jo smiled. "Alright, I'll be back soon with your orders." She said, turning on her heel and exiting.
Dean turned back to face Castiel.
"So," He said, his face still slightly tinged with red. "Things are going well, you said?"
"I've already made that pretty clear, Dean, I thought." Castiel laughed.
"Yeah, I know, but I'm still kind of paranoid." Dean blushed.
"Well, you needn't be. Like I said, everything is perfect."
"Perfect?"
"Well, almost perfect."
"How could I make it even more perfect?"
"That'd probably be fairly difficult to do." Castiel laughed.
"Just tell me, anyway." Dean smiled.
"Well, I'm moving in with you, soon. That'll make things even more perfect."
"You're really sure about that? Still? You still want to do it?"
"Of course." Castiel smiled.
"We'd have to discuss a lot…"
"True, there would be a lot to organise. But I still want to do it. I still think you're worth it."
Dean blushed and glanced down. Castiel found himself smirking, slightly, and he squeezed Dean's hand gently, affectionately.
"Whose place would we be moving into?"
"I don't mind." Cas shrugged. "I never meant for my apartment to be for any kind of permanent residence on my part, anyway, and it's very small—"
"—But I really don't want to cause you an inconvenience."
"You wouldn't be."
"But you've already moved about a lot in the past few years. Like, loads."
"I know." Castiel laughed. "But you're worth it."
Dean grinned and bit his lip shyly.
"And you're really cute when you're embarrassed." Cas grinned.
"Shut up." Dean blushed.
"You're doing it right now." Castiel chuckled, and Dean rolled his eyes and looked away.
"Alright, here's your coffee." Jo smiled as she brought it out. "The fries will be out here, soon, don't worry. And I'll let you two lovesick puppies be, after that." She grinned at Dean, who gave her a flippant expression, and flicked his gaze, rather pointedly, away. Jo laughed and exited back into the kitchen.
"Jo likes annoying you." Castiel observed, his lips twitching upwards.
"Yeah, she sure does." Dean looked over to the door Jo had disappeared behind, rather grudgingly. Castiel smirked and squeezed Dean's hand, brushing his knees against Dean's, underneath the table.
"So, moving in together." Castiel smiled.
"Moving in together." Dean repeated, turning back to Cas, his face softening an incredibly large amount.
"Are you okay with the idea of me moving in with you? Or would you rather move in with me? Because I'm fine with that, too—I'm fine with both of them. It's just that my apartment is really very small—it only has one bedroom, and a tiny one at that—and as I said, I never really meant to live there for a long period of time."
"Right." Dean nodded. "No, I'm totally cool with that—as long as I get to live with you, I'll be happy." He beamed, and Castiel's lips twitched upwards. "Okay, should you move in with me, then?"
"That sounds fine." Cas beamed.
"—I really don't want to cause you an inconvenience, Cas—"
"It wouldn't be, don't worry."
"But my apartment wasn't really meant to be too much of a permanent place, too, anyway—so maybe we should look out for a new place, as well."
"Okay." Castiel smiled. "Maybe we could get that house you always talked about."
"—You'd really want to—"
"I'd love to." Cas beamed. Dean grinned—his eyes sparked with so much happiness, then; and he looked more elated than Castiel had seen him in a painfully long time.
"We could buy a house together."
"We could. I'd love to."
"I want that. A lot."
"So do I." Castiel laughed. Dean leant across the table and brushed his lips against Castiel's, softly, before sliding his hand up Cas' neck and cradling the back of his head, sighing happily against Cas' mouth.
"Ew, guys, cut it out." Jo wrinkled her nose as she carried out the fries that Dean had ordered for the two of them. "That's disgusting."
"You're the one who wanted details on how our relationship is going."
"Yeah, but I didn't want to watch you two doing—that—" Jo gestured to the two of them—"In public. That's just gross. Public displays of affection—ew."
"Sorry." Cas blushed.
"Don't apologise." Dean brushed his thumb across the knuckles of Cas' right hand. "Jo's just in a pissy mood 'cause I told her to clear off and give us some privacy, earlier." He grinned.
"Whatever." Jo rolled her eyes. "Here are your fries, anyway. Enjoy."
Castiel thanked her as Dean turned back to face him, beaming happily.
"So you would actually want to buy a house with me?"
"Sure." Castiel laughed.
"That's a big commitment, you know."
"Good." Cas chuckled. "Because, in case you hadn't noticed, I would love, more than anything, to commit to you."
Dean grinned and glanced down, his ears turning a little pink.
"You remember when we first came here?" Dean asked, smiling nostalgically.
"Yes, of course." Castiel laughed. "I was fairly certain that was why we agreed to come back, today."
Dean rolled his eyes and cupped Cas' hands in his own.
"I thought you were so beautiful."
"I think you've already mentioned that."
"Well, I did. I'm only telling you the truth."
Cas laughed as his eyes flitted down to the floor, but Dean's fingers grazed under his chin and dragged his gaze back up to Dean's face.
"I was convinced you'd never want to speak to me again, after I was so rude to you, that first night. I thought you'd hate me."
"I wanted to, at first." Castiel laughed. "And I hated that I found you so attractive."
"But I managed to win back the situation?"
"You did." Castiel nodded.
"And is this date going any better than that one?"
"This is wonderful, Dean." Cas smiled. He watched as Dean's eyes crinkled at their corners. "As was our first one, actually."
"Good." Dean said softly. "I'm glad."
Cas took a sip of his coffee.
"If we moved in together, I'd cook you dinner every night." Dean grinned.
"Then I'd have to make you breakfast every morning, to make up for it."
Dean laughed and licked his lips as he stared at Cas. A quietly hungry look was forming in Dean's eyes as he stared intently at Castiel, and Cas' lips quirked upwards to see it.
"I love you."
"Good. I love you, too."
"I can't believe you took me back, after everything."
"Like I said, I love you." Castiel smiled. "And I never stopped."
"Neither did I." Dean spoke softly, tenderly, to Castiel. "And I never will, I swear. Never ever."
"You might." Cas shrugged.
"Nope." Dean shook his head. "Remember our bet, this morning?"
"It's a little hard to forget, believe me, Dean." Castiel chuckled.
Dean laughed, his head tilting backwards as he did so, and he squeezed Cas' hand tightly.
"Well, good. And I'm gonna win, believe me. I'm right."
"I don't know…"
"You find it really hard to think about someone loving you permanently, don't you?"
"You don't?"
"I've told you, if you saw the way my mom and dad were together, you'd know."
"Well, I haven't."
"But why do you find it so hard to believe?" Dean asked, glancing over to the group of customers who had just entered the café. They sat a distance away from Dean and Castiel, which Cas was grateful for, and Ellen came out of the kitchen to serve them. The warm, friendly way that she greeted them made Castiel think that they were regulars at the coffee shop—but then again, Ellen seemed to be very friendly and welcoming to everyone, so perhaps not. He glanced back to Dean, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"I'm not sure." He shrugged. "I'm just scared that you will stop feeling like this. And I know you say you won't, but how can you be so certain?"
"You're the one, Cas." Dean shrugged, saying his words with confident, absolute certainty. "I've had other loves, but they never even compared to you. When I left you, I couldn't even bring myself to look at anyone else. Guys, girls, everyone, they all repulsed me—the idea of being with anyone other than you was just wrong. I just know you're the one for me, Cas. It's you. It's always you."
Castiel blushed again and glanced down.
"And I know you think that one day I'll end up finding you annoying, that I'll end up hating you—but let me tell you now, Castiel—not in a million years. I couldn't ever."
"You'd get bored of me, at the very least."
"Nope." Dean shook his head confidently, grinning wolfishly. "Never. You're like a riddle, Cas. A riddle wrapped in an enigma. You're a puzzle. You're this ball of fantastic contradictions and mystery—and I could never ever find you even remotely dull."
Cas was finding it very difficult to maintain eye contact with Dean, right now. Both severe embarrassment and elated joy at Dean's words twisted happily through him, through his entire frame, at this moment.
"And I don't care how corny I have to be to convince you of it." Dean laughed, his hand cupping Cas' face, his thumb grazing itself softly across Cas' cheeks. Castiel smiled at the familiarity and tender warmth of the gesture. "I'll never stop saying it. It's the truth." Dean spoke softly.
Cas felt his eyes crinkle at their corners, and Dean beamed at the sight of this.
Dean was the one. Cas was certain of it. Of course he believed in soul mates—he had to, after meeting Dean.
His heart would always belong to Dean. Dean was the curl of warmth underneath his skin, the thrum of happiness and contentment through his frame, the calm, soothing sense of belonging—Dean had and did set all of these emotions into Castiel's heart; he sent them searing through his body, coursing hotly through his veins. It drained him and filled him, and Cas didn't want to have to spend a single second in the absence of Dean. He wondered if marriage would even be enough—if it would accurately sum up his emotions for the man.
Dean had become more than everything to Castiel.
In just the few days that he had been back, he had repaired every crack in Cas' soul, every fracture in his heart. He had filled Cas' life, had seared under his flesh once more; had left Cas' skin burnt from his love and adoration.
And Castiel needed Dean. Castiel needed Dean just as much as Dean needed Cas.
Chapter 26 is finished! Hope you like it! Also, I totally forgot to say, but who watched Misha on whose line is it anyway?! :D
And yes, please review with any comments, positive or negative, and any requests! And please say what you think about the idea of the new fic! Thank you so much for reading, lovelies.