AN: Okay, Gotham...so far, so good. But y'all are coming dangerously close to making Fish a Villain Sue. Don't do that. And was that Croc I saw? I'm all about that. (But don't you dare go the Arkham route. You touch Scarecrow, I shall have to hurt you.)

Yes, I know that Oswald is *probably* a Fish-minion now. But he did kinda bite the dust...maybe he went down before anything happened. We're going with that, because I can be mean to him that way.

wickness-They're precious. Well, aside from the insanity. And Oswald rather likes the penguin. And hates it, because god dammit he wanted an evil minion and not one that brings him stuffed fucking penguins.

Christineoftheopera-Ed is adorable. Even when he's stabbing someone way too many times. I now have this odd headcannon that he probably takes in injured fellow criminals at random. Except Zsasz, because Zsasz murders whoever and that's just begging for a disaster to happen.

Dove popped her head around the corner. The street was empty and all was still.

Including, as it happened, her employer. Was he dead? Who knew. Who cared.

But if he wasn't, and he woke up and she was gone, she was so screwed.

She went over there and gave him a little poke before scurrying back. He didn't move, but she didn't want to get close again. What to do, what to do...

His umbrella was lying in the road next to him. She grabbed it and gave him a hard jab with it. It was actually rather satisfying.

Poke, poke, poke.

Ehehe! Revenge!

Pokey-pokey!

She was just going in for another poke when he groaned. She squeaked and flung the umbrella away.

"Boss? Are you dead?"

"Nng." He raised his head. "Miss Marquis."

"Uh-huh."

"Was that who I think it was?"

"Was who who you thought it was, Sir?"

He blinked a few times.

"Fish."

"Oh. Um. Maybe?"

"Mm." He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. "I thought so."

"Are you...um...just...gonna lay in the road?"

"Yes."

Right.

"I'll go get the car."

He was still there when she came back. He didn't appear to have moved, actually. She collected his umbrella and shotgun, did a quick sweep for anything interesting, and wondered if she should risk dragging him into the car.

"Sir?"

He struggled up, using the overturned van as leverage, and made his way to the car.

"Home."

"Yes, Sir."

Oswald was dozing off, envisioning more permenant ways of getting rid of Fish,

Dismemberment might be nice...

when Dove slammed on the brakes and the car skidded to a stop.

"What are you doing?"

"There's a dinosaur in the road!"

"There is not, don't be ridiculous-"

"But it's right there-"

RRROOOAAARRR!

Oh.

There was, indeed, a dinosaur in the road. Or something of that nature-it was large and scaly and greenish-brown, and it had teeth. But it looked like a man. Sort of.

Strange!

"Miss Marquis." No answer. "Put the car in reverse."

She wasn't doing anything except staring at it and he nudged her with the umbrella.

This proved to be a poor choice-she yelped and hit the gas. The car lurched forward and then there was a dinosaur on the hood.

"Shit!"

"What was that?"

"I didn't sign up for this!"

"That wasn't reverse!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Put the car in reverse!"

The thing flailed a bit and she yanked the wheel. It fell off and she turned the car around and started speeding down the wrong side of the street. Oswald checked his seatbelt and gripped the Panic Handle.

But he did not tell her to slow down.

THE END