Hey guys, sorry for not posting in a while, I've been really busy, thanks for bearing with me :) Hope you like this bit xxx

A week or so of 'oh look, the only available seat is next to Merlin', and Arthur was stood in the shower, letting the cold water gush over him as he stared into mid-air. Here in the bathroom he could unleash all his pain over Merlin and Sam that had built up during the day, and cry like a baby should the need arise. But the tears wouldn't come as they never did. Instead he seemed to just stare at the tiles on the wall with a dead expression, as the water made him shiver slightly. He'd leave the house if he could, he'd run away and never come back.

But what did he really know about this world? How on earth could he possibly survive on his own out there? He only knew enough to get by living with Kerry and Merlin. But how the hell did he get the kind of money for a home of his own? And what the hell was a 'mortgage'? How was he meant to live without his dollophead? Arthur screwed his eyes shut. He hated everything.

Things had been simpler back in Camelot. Merlin had been his and only his then, although Arthur hadn't noticed or appreciated it at the time. Whenever Arthur had asked for him, Merlin was there, being the best friend and adviser that he'd needed. In fact, whenever Arthur had specifically not asked for him, he'd still been there because the man knew the right times that the King needed company, or a subtle telling off, or just someone to throw things at.

And then he'd gone and died, left the man, abandoned him to years of grief. He wondered momentarily how many 'Sams' there had been in the past to offer Merlin comfort. They'd all been there for him when Arthur couldn't. All the years Merlin had devoted to protecting his worthless life, at great risk to his own. All the sacrifices he'd made, the friends he'd watched die in the years since. Arthur hadn't been there for any of it, or had at least been unaware of Merlin's devotion.

Merlin wouldn't want Arthur now, he didn't need him anymore. With so many new friends, and the odd romance over the centuries, Arthur would have to be an idiot to think that the warlock would want him now. He'd coped all this time without him, and he'd managed fine. Arthur was just an old friend who'd happened to return. He wasn't anything special to Merlin. Not with guys like Sam to compare to.

With a sigh he switched the shower off and stood there letting the water drip down him. The King shivered again and grabbed a towel. Time to face another day of torture.

Merlin was thinking along the same lines whilst he was crunching on some toast in the kitchen. Why would Arthur care about him? He'd been stupid to hope. Arthur was the King. Arthur was straight. Arthur was...Arthur. He could have his pick of fine women; and even if he were that way inclined, why on earth would he want a guy like Merlin? Gawky, pale, weird cheekbones, ridiculous ears, and he had magic...

The warlock shook his head to himself and wondered briefly when Sam would be leaving. He seemed to be staying a lot longer than Merlin had anticipated, and whilst he enjoyed Sam's company, it was admittedly a little awkward.

And besides, Kerry and her step-brother kept on whispering together conspiratorially. Not to mention the convenient accidents he had around Arthur. And how come there always seemed to be a free seat next to him for the King? It was hard enough to maintain eye contact let alone hold a conversation with the man.

Merlin momentarily wondered whether they were playing Match-Makers, but dismissed the idea. Even if they were, it wouldn't work. They couldn't just make Arthur fall for him, much as he'd like. Merlin had convinced himself that he didn't deserve it; he'd not done such a fantastic job of looking after Arthur's ancestors as he'd have liked. Some had still managed to find trouble, or have trouble find them, despite Merlin's efforts. Furthermore he'd been less than truthful about his past with everyone, and he'd done some things he wasn't proud of. Maybe this was his punishment from the Old Gods.

The warlock shook his head again. There was little point dwelling on it. Nothing good came from moping around, and besides, he'd done his fair share of moping in his time.

Arthur came into the kitchen then, hair damp from a shower. He glanced at Merlin before going over to the fridge. The King rummaged around for some breakfast, not registering the uncomfortable atmosphere, or at least pretending not to. Merlin's heart ached. He wanted to talk to him, reach out and grab his hand, pin him against the fridge and kiss him breathless. But he couldn't, so he remained seated, staring intently at his half cup of lukewarm tea.

Arthur regretted his cold shower when the next morning he woke with a headache and cold. The other knights tidied the living room as they always did in the mornings, and Arthur then moved onto the sofa with his pillows and duvet. Kerry watched him groaning and sneezing from the doorway, a little plan hatching. She went to find Merlin.

"Hey we're all going to town today, you know, just to have a look round the shops and stuff. Do you want to come?" she already knew his answer but was delighted still when he said it.

"No thanks. I'll be fine here."

"You sure?"

Merlin nodded and went back to reading his book.

"Okay cool we'll leave soon then. Oh and by the way, Arthur's sick, so you'll have to look after him while we're out, okay bye!" and she quickly exited the room, leaving a spluttering Merlin.

Kerry hurried everyone out and was just about to leave herself when Merlin approached the front door where she was standing. His arms were folded and he looked unimpressed.

"Whatever you're trying to do, it's not going to work, Kerry."

Kerry gave him her best innocent face and smiled sweetly.

"It'll be fun, you'll see. We'll get you chocolate. See you later!" and she shut the door.

Merlin heaved a sigh, and rolled his eyes when he heard Kerry and Gwen giggle from the other side of the door.

He stood in the quiet hall for a little longer before taking a deep breath and wandering into the living room.

The television was on, and some history programme was showing, at a very low volume. Arthur was lying on the sofa, resting his eyes and surrounded by a pile of covers and cushions and tissues. His dirty blonde hair was messy and sticking up in all directions, but for once the vain King didn't seem to care - he must be pretty ill indeed then.

"Can-" Merlin cleared his throat, "can I get you anything...?"

Arthur opened his eyes and it seemed to take a while for him to understand what Merlin was asking.

"A hot drink would be nice thanks...where are the others?" he spoke hoarsely as his throat was beginning to feel sore too now.

"Town. They uh...left me to look after you."

Arthur nodded, and winced as the movement hurt his head.

"Would you like some painkillers? Or I could...send you to sleep..."

"Just painkillers." Arthur replied. Merlin nodded once and was about to leave when Arthur spoke up again. "But thanks for the offer..."

Merlin made the King some honey and lemon tea and brought some paracetamol through to him. He put the drink and medicine down onto the end table by the sofa, before placing his cool hand on Arthur's forehead to feel for a fever.

He was stabbed by a sudden flashback of the lake, when he'd gently rested his hand against the dead King's forehead. Merlin pulled his hand back sharply and felt his vision blurring with tears. Don't cry you stupid fool he reprimanded himself. Arthur watched him with curious, albeit tired, eyes. What had caused that reaction? He decided to make a joke out of it, to lighten the atmosphere.

"That bad huh? How long do I have left? Arthur Pendragon, the returned Once and Future King, killed again by a common cold."

Merlin, who had by now caught his breath and calmed himself, managed a weak smile. "You're fine. Just being a wimp is all."

"Is that so?" Arthur rose an eyebrow up at the darker haired man. Merlin smiled again, feeling giddy at the light and friendly banter they were having, almost like old times. Damn it, he couldn't bear it when Kerry was right - he'd never hear the end of it.

He turned to head out of the room once more to let the man rest, but a hand caught his.

"Stay...you know I hate being on my own when I'm ill...no one to fetch me anything…" Arthur smiled weakly.

Merlin swallowed hard and looked down at Arthur's hand grasping his. Was that him trembling, or the King? Arthur misunderstood the expression and dropped the hand. "Or if you have something you need to do you don't have to stay, I don't really care..." he shrugged nonchalantly, reaching for the painkillers, avoiding eye contact.

Merlin shook his head.

"No...I've got nothing else to do..." he slowly looked around for a seat. The armchairs were covered in tissues and books and DVD cases. He was about to use his magic to tidy up a little and create space, when Arthur shifted his legs and covers out of the way and indicated a hand towards the end of the sofa.

Merlin hesitated briefly before taking the offered seat. The King seemed to relax and he shut his eyes once more.

Merlin concentrated on the television. After a while he gave a laugh.

"Well that's not true, he was actually a pretty funny guy!"

Arthur's eyelids fluttered open.

"Huh?"

"King Henry VII."

Arthur looked at the screen and took in a picture of a cunning looking man with greedy eyes and the sound of some woman voicing over.

"He doesn't look it..." he mumbled sleepily.

"Well he was. Rapacious yes, but a good laugh." Merlin grinned fondly.

"That's a big word for you, Merlin. Anyway he obviously couldn't have been as funny as me."

"When were you ever funny?"

Arthur shot a glare and grabbed a pillow from the floor and hit Merlin over the head with it.

"What were you doing buddying up with Henry VII anyway?"

Merlin shrugged. "One of your descendants was a Lord in his court. Not one of the corrupt ones, don't worry."

Arthur nodded slowly, his eyelids drooping once more. But then he suddenly gave an almighty sneeze and accidentally kicked Merlin. In the face.

"Argh! What the f-" Merlin clutched at his nose.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry! Merlin! Are you okay? Oh god you're bleeding!" Arthur was fully awake now. He grabbed the tissues and shuffled over to the warlock who was leaning his head back, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

Arthur placed a tentative hand on the back of Merlin's neck, and with the other he gently raised a tissue to the blood dribbling out.

"How did you even manage that?" Merlin said thickly through his blocked nose, taking the tissue from Arthur's hand.

"I don't know, it was an accident, you know what I'm like when I sneeze!"

"Oh yeh, like that time you were sat at the round table and you sneezed so hard you toppled over backwards in the chair?" Merlin smirked as best as he could.

Arthur chuckled to himself. The Knights and Merlin hadn't ever let him forget that. He looked back at Merlin, who was dabbing at his nose to see if he was still bleeding.

"I'm sorry, I-… I didn't mean to hurt you..." Arthur said softly then. It held a double meaning, and Merlin knew it. The warlock nodded slowly. He lowered his head and Arthur passed him another tissue. The blood had more or less stopped now. Merlin used his magic to clean up the already dried blood and Arthur gave a guilty smile.

"Keep your legs at that end from now on!" Merlin narrowed his eyes at the King's feet. Arthur shuffled around and moved his covers and piles of tissues. He glanced at Merlin beside him, and stifled a yawn. The warlock noticed and reached across to an armchair, grabbing a cushion. He put it against his arm.

"Here, lean on me." Merlin said in a kind voice, and Arthur smiled thankfully, settling down. Maybe now their friendship could begin repairing.

Kerry and the others came back a few hours later, laden with shopping bags. Some were surprised to see Merlin and Arthur sat on the sofa fast asleep against each other, but Kerry wasn't that shocked. Merlin stirred and woke at the sound of the knights, ladies and Sam tramping in, and raised a finger to his lips to silence them. He didn't want Arthur to wake and move away, he was quite comfortable the way they were.

Arthur slept all day and into the evening, he usually did this when he was ill. Merlin remembered when the King had been ill in Camelot. All he'd need was a good long sleep and he'd be right as rain, and on the rare occasions he could do that, Merlin had always stayed with him. He would sit polishing armour or fixing chainmail at the table, ready to fetch anything Arthur needed should he wake. He also used to watch his friend sleeping so peacefully; he looked so different with the kingdom's worries and pressures gone from his face, the frown he usually wore melted into a tranquil expression.

Merlin remembered one time in particular when Arthur had had a case of the sweating sickness, now known as flu, and had needed to spend several days in bed. The King had not been best pleased, wanting to get on with sorting through important documents and speeches, and most of all training with the knights.

But the man had needed to rest and the warlock had seriously considered using magic to knock him out, just so he would stay in bed.

It had been oddly nice. When the King wasn't sleeping they had chatted and laughed like Merlin wasn't a servant and Arthur wasn't a monarch. But to be honest, when had they ever really acted like a servant and master?

Merlin had sat on Arthur's bed and had diligently cared for him, like the physician's assistant he was, placing cool damp cloths on Arthur's sweaty forehead, and feeding him broths and medicines. Arthur had at one point been delirious with fever, but it was nothing Merlin couldn't handle. The King had muttered about Gwen, his knights, his worries, and had eventually fallen silent. But about an hour later, when Merlin thought it was all over, Arthur whispered his name and a soft, beautiful smile had appeared on the King's face. Merlin hadn't mentioned it to anyone, keeping it locked in his heart all these years. Not even Arthur had remembered it when he'd woken up that afternoon demanding breakfast.

Arthur stirred in his sleep at that moment, pulling Merlin from his reminiscing. The King slowly moved a hand to rub his eyes sleepily, but stayed where he was, curled up against his friend.

"I don't want to get up..." he mumbled, snuggling further into the duvet and against Merlin.

"You don't have to." Merlin replied in a soft tone.

Arthur shuffled a little.

"I'm not hurting you am I?"

"Not a bit, I'm quite comfortable."

"Good." Arthur's hand emerged from the covers and found Merlin's, giving it a light squeeze.

The warlock let out a long breath and sank back into the sofa.

Arthur cleared his sore throat.

"So...you and Sam..." The King felt Merlin's hand tighten in his. But he needed to know. "Do you-...are you guys...?"

"We're not together anymore, Arthur. What went on last week was...well I didn't mean for it to happen. Sam is still my friend, just we don't-...we're not...you know. Last week was an accident. But nothing really happened."

Arthur felt relieved a little. But then he found himself feeling bad for Sam. Poor guy. I know how he must be feeling.

"Is he alright?"

"God I hope so."

"Are you...?"

Merlin paused for a few moments. He felt terrible for what he'd done; he'd hurt his friend, a man who'd helped to fill a tiny portion of the hole Arthur had left inside him. And Sam did mean a lot to him; his adorable childish grin, his damn brown eyes that surpassed all other eye colours besides Arthur's, the way his hair was styled so that it fell forwards and slightly to the side in a feathered way, glowing orange one moment, then a soft strawberry blonde the next.

"I'll be fine..."

Arthur shifted a little, awkwardly avoiding Merlin's gaze.

"How...how many people...have you um..."

"Had a relationship with? Very few Arthur. Sam was the first in a long while...but Sam's special..." a soft smile played at the corners of Merlin's mouth that Arthur couldn't fail to notice. He knew they weren't a couple anymore, Merlin had just told him that, but he couldn't help a feeling of jealousy flash across his mind momentarily.

"And were all of them..." Arthur cleared his throat again, he felt so awkward asking about Merlin's love life, but he wanted to know, "...men?"

Merlin paused to think back across the centuries.

"No...there were a few girls...one when you were alive, Freya."

Arthur's eyes widened. "You had a-…girlfriend and you never told me? When?" Arthur used the modern term for a female partner uncomfortably, but did it all the same, showing his efforts to adapt.

"It was only a year or so after I started working for you." Merlin swallowed a lump in his throat. "Remember the bastet incident…? Around that time."

Arthur squinted as he tried to remember. "I think so. What happened? How come you never told me?"

Merlin winced involuntarily, "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay."

Arthur really wanted to know what had happened then, but he didn't press further. If Merlin didn't want to talk about it, then they wouldn't talk about it.

"Any others?"

"I did marry a girl once..." Merlin rubbed his jaw which was in need of a shave.

"MARRY?!"

"No, no she was one of your descendants-"

"What?"

"-and she fell pregnant - the man abandoned her, the bastard. She came to me and told me everything, we were friends obviously. I nearly went out and killed the man myself, but she stopped me. She was a couple of months gone by that point, and people would start to notice sooner or later, and people were less accepting then…anyway I married her and took care of her and the child...but nothing happened between us."

The King was silent as he processed this. Images of a domestic, married Merlin came into his mind; Merlin returning home in the evenings and a small child running to him, clinging onto his legs, a young woman swatting him over the head for saying something stupid but kissing him fondly on the cheek after, Merlin telling bedtime stories to the child, tucked up in bed and Merlin buying birthday presents for his little family.

A soft smiled appeared on the King's lips, as he suddenly realised he wanted all that with the clotpole. Did he feel the same?

Arthur remembered that Merlin was expecting some form of reply or acknowledgement and he managed to nod. "Good man. Thank you for looking after my family, Merlin. I know I've said it before, but you deserve to be thanked every second of the day."

Merlin grimaced. "Please don't. Grovelling really doesn't suit you."

The King chuckled before dissolving into a coughing fit, finished by another violent sneeze; Merlin thankfully dodged the flying elbow.

"Honestly what am I going to do with you?" Merlin sighed dramatically.

"I can think of a few things." Arthur muttered quietly to himself.

"Easy there, tiger," Merlin smirked back. Arthur glanced up at him and he gave a chuckle.