Crane McFadden swung open the front door that Saturday morning to find Cleo Wheeler standing in front of it.
"Hello, Cleo." He said with a surprised grin. "I didn't even hear you knock. I was just going out."
"Oh, I don't mean to be a bother. Is Ford at home?" She asked shyly.
"No. He and his brothers went up to check on the stock. They've got to give out some inoculations. I don't think he'll be back before the dance." He looked at her. "You want to come in for a minute?"
"Oh, no. You were just headed out and I . . .Well, can you tell Ford I don't think I'll be able to go to the dance tonight?" She shifted her feet nervously.
"Cleo." He said sternly. "Please come inside." He held open the door and led her inside the house and over to the front room.
"I've never seen it so empty." Cleo said glancing around nervously.
"Well, everyone's out, except me! Why don't you sit down?" Crane asked. Cleo nodded and sat down on the couch. Crane sat on the edge of the table opposite her. She glanced over her shoulder.
"You want to tell me why you can't go to the dance?" He asked gently. "Ford will have questions."
"Things are kind of complicated right now." She said wringing her hands. "My Mom . . .well . . .I . ." Her bright blue eyes filled with tears.
"Hey, now." He asked quietly. "What is it?"
"We're leaving; my mom and I. Just us. We're going to my Aunt's up in Oregon. To stay." She looked up at him, and brushed a tear away with her finger.
"Oh, Cleo. I am sorry." He said and reaching out squeezed her hand.
"I'm not." She said sharply, but seeing Crane's eyes open wide, she softened. "Except for Ford, I'm not."
"I can understand that." Crane said kindly.
"I don't think you can." She said with a small smile. "Not from what Ford's told me; not from what he remembers."
"Cleo. He will be so . . ."
"I know. Me too." She smiled sadly at him.
Crane looked at her. She seemed so small and fragile. She reminded him of when Evan was young - those bright blond curls. He moved forward wrapping his arms around her. The door opened just then and they looked up to see Hannah whose eyes grew big with surprise. Crane released her, and rose.
"Hannah! Cleo came to see Ford, but missed him." He smiled at his sister-in-law feeling her arrival was providential. Crane had become convinced that there wasn't anyone she couldn't mother.
"Cleo? How good to see you! I'm so glad you are here! I keep meaning to ask you. What color is your dress? Ford keeps forgetting to ask you and I was gonna . . ." She saw Cleo's eyes fill with tears. "What?" But before either Cleo or Crane could answer, Hannah wrapped her arms around Cleo who melted into the embrace. Hannah ran the back of her hand along Cleo's cheek. "Come on, honey. You and I are going to go out to the garden and have a little talk." Hannah looked up at Crane who gave her a wink, mouthing a silent "Thank you", and she walked Cleo out the door and around the side of the house.
"You must think I'm the worst baby." Cleo said. "Every time I see you, it seems I'm crying."
"No, I wouldn't think that. You feel like talking?" She asked Cleo sitting down on the bench that bordered the garden.
"Not really." Cleo said.
"That's all right, then." Hannah said and Cleo sat beside her. They sat in silence for several minutes staring out at the hills beyond them. Hannah sat with one arm around Cleo rubbing her back gently.
"I like how pretty it is here. I always have. Our ranch is bigger, but it's like a business or a factory almost. This feels like a home." Cleo said her eyes on the hills, not on Hannah.
"Me too. I couldn't believe it when Adam pulled the jeep up here! It was more than I could've dreamed. I never lived in a house until here." Hannah said.
"Really?" Cleo asked surprised.
"Well, when I was a little girl, we lived at my grandfather's farm not far from here. Ford found a picture of Crane and I standing by each other out on the playground in first grade! Neither of us remember it. We didn't have the same first grade teacher, but I lived here then. Later, my mother and I moved from place to place. We lived in trailers, or apartments, or with other people. I didn't sleep in a house of my own until I came here."
"Just you and your mom?" Cleo turned to face Hannah. "What about your father?"
"He was gone." Hannah said simply, waiting. She ran a hand through Cleo's curls.
"I'm sorry." Cleo said.
"Oh, I'm not. I wasn't." Cleo turned to Hannah again her face pale. "That probably shocks you. My father wasn't kind, and he . . . he didn't really care much about me or my mother or my sister - least not as much as he cared about finding another bottle to drain."
"Oh." Cleo said softly.
"I used to think," Hannah said gently, reaching up and tucking a hair behind Cleo's ear. "I used to think if I was a good enough girl, he wouldn't drink any more."
"That doesn't work." Cleo's voice was a whisper.
"No, it doesn't." Hannah's eyes welled with tears thinking of how very much she understood Cleo's fears and pains. "It took me a really long time to understand that he wasn't thinking of me at all. It isn't as if he set out to hurt us. We were just never a part of his thoughts." Hannah reached out and held tightly to Cleo's hand.
"We are going away." Cleo said. "I wanted to tell Ford. That's why I came. I can't go with him to the dance. We are going to my Aunt's house. My mom and me - my brothers won't go. We are leaving tonight."
"Oh, Cleo." Hannah said sadly putting an arm around Cleo's shoulder.
"I'm not sorry about it." Cleo said in a voice tinged with anger. "I'm glad. I'm sick of worrying. It's hard, you know; the worrying." Hannah nodded her head knowingly. "And I'm glad for my mom's sake too. She deserves more - least that's what I've been telling her. A man who goes off to drink instead of staying in and causing trouble, isn't much to be grateful for, is it?" Cleo's voice was much more bitter than you would expect of a fourteen year old girl. She buried her face in Hannah's shoulder.
"No. Not in my book, I guess." Hannah said.
"You survived it though? And you are happy now? Were you happy after he was gone?" Cleo asked looking up at Hannah.
"No, but it was different. He left us, and my Mama, well, she never did find her strength." Hannah sighed. "She was always waiting for him to come back - hoping he'd come back. I was always afraid he'd come back. So I sort shifted from worrying about him all the time, to worrying about her. It was a pretty tough life. And we had no other family. We were alone. I managed it though. I found my own road. But, I wasn't really, truly happy until . . .well, until Adam, I guess." She smiled at Cleo. "Your Mama's a strong woman, Cleo, and she has you by her side."
"I'm proud of her." Cleo said. "My brothers are mad, but they don't understand."
"You need to remember that not every man you meet is like your father. Ford isn't."
"I guess. It's sort of hard not to expect it, though, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Hannah sighed. "But one good man will change it." She smiled thinking of how truly content, and safe she felt with Adam and his rowdy brothers. "Or seven."
Cleo nodded. "I feel badly about Ford though. I wanted to say goodbye in person." She sighed. Hannah smiled at Cleo, and hugged her close before rising.
"Come on, then." She said motioning with her arm.
"Where?" Cleo asked surprised.
"You and me are riding out to the boys. You can't leave him without saying goodbye." Hannah smiled at her. Cleo stood and wrapped her arms around Hannah.
"Thank you! You didn't have to tell me about all that. I really appreciate it. Could I maybe write to you sometimes?"
"Oh, of course, honey!" Hannah kissed her forehead. "Anytime at all."
"Thanks. I didn't think anyone . . ."
"I used to feel that way too. And I am sorry, Cleo. I'm sorry for the trouble I caused." Hannah said softly.
Cleo stepped away from her, and holding onto Hannah's arms said, "No. I'm grateful and so is my mother. She found her voice again, and she's happy to use it. And I'm proud of her. I don't know how it will end, but it won't end with her just taking what's she's given. She'll decide what's right. It's not like our house was filled with sunshine and love before all of this! She's been so unhappy for so long, and now she gets to choose her own road. She would say thank you for helping her."
"A family coming apart is not something I would wish on anyone." Hannah said.
"It wasn't ever a family together." Cleo said. "So there's nothing that's come undone." Hannah nodded her head and led Cleo to the barn.
***7***
"It's like Romeo and Juliet." Adam said watching Cleo and Ford as they sat together along the river.
"With a better ending, I hope." Hannah said. "It's not that romantic a story if you ask me."
He laughed. "I like our story better."
"Me too." She sighed. "I'm not sure how I feel about having a hand in Margaret leaving him."
"I had no idea you were that powerful." He said mocking her. She looked up at him with wounded eyes. "Hannah! I just mean, people make their own choices. You've nothing to do with this. They've been married for nearly thirty years! I doubt one incident with Hannah Joy McFadden could cause the whole thing to unravel! "
"I guess you are right. The things around us don't determine how I feel about you, but sometimes they reveal it to me. When I see you with Guthrie or Ford; the way you father them . . .it reminds me how much I admire you, and how different you are from my father. It comforts me - especially later when we are fighting! " She grinned up at him wrapping an arm around his waist.
"Yeah." He said. "Like seeing you on the ground with that cut on your head, made it pretty clear to me that I'd prefer you be around me always."
She smiled, blushing and he kissed her.
"Now, come on." He said. "We have to give out some more shots, and I'm down one cowboy, thanks to you. So, I guess you'll have to fill in. You up to cowboying for me, girl?"
"Yep. Point me in the right direction, boss." He laughed and said over his shoulder.
"Hey, Brian. Looks like we got a greenhorn to take Ford's spot. Why don't you show her the ropes."
"Oh, ho!" Brian said grinning at Hannah. "Come on over here, son. You are about to experience the greatest test of a man. Now, the worst thing about being a greenhorn, is being a greenhorn, but the best thing about being a greenhorn is; it only happens once. We'll make you a real cowboy, yet. Now bring those soft little hands of yours over here and slap on some gloves, because you are gonna have all the fun jobs today!"
Hannah glanced up at Adam who shrugged his shoulders with a wink. "Good luck, there partner."
"Thanks." She said and crossed over to Brian who stood waiting with a grin that stretched from ear to ear.
***7***
Ford found Hannah sitting on the front porch. He sat down beside her on the wide swing, and handed her an ice pack.
"Here, put it on your hand. It seems weird, I know, but it makes it feel better."
"Thanks." She said. "I can't believe how many blisters you can get in just one day."
"I know. You really toughed it out though. Brian was impressed."
"He was? I couldn't tell. Does he always yell like that when he's impressed?" She asked him.
"Oh, yeah. You should hear him when he thinks you are screwing things up!" Ford said with a laugh.
"No thanks." She sighed studying the side of his face. "I'm really sorry about Cleo, Ford. If I knew all the trouble it would bring, I would never have . . ."
"Nah. It isn't your fault. Her mom's talked about going away for so long. Cleo thought she never really would. At least I won't have to worry anymore. I was always afraid he'd be mean to her or do something bad."
"He did something bad, Ford, even if he never hit her or screamed at her."
"Yeah, I understand that." He glanced at Hannah. "Keep the ice on it." He reprimanded. "She told me what you said to her."
Hannah sighed looking down at her hand and the row of blisters that ran across her palm. "Oh, that's nothing to worry over, now. I'm grown, Ford. That was a long time ago."
"Just because it was a long time ago doesn't mean he didn't do something bad. . . . and I'm sorry for it just the same." He said gently.
"Thank you." She said huskily, clearing her throat.
"He's dead, though. He died?"
"Yeah, when I was fifteen. A long time ago. My mother died about four years ago, so . . ." She reached out to brush his bangs out of his eyes. "I'm an orphan too."
"Orphans don't have families." Ford said. "We looked it up; Evan and me. It can mean having both parents die, but the second definition says something about a person without protective support. We have that. We aren't orphans, and neither are you."
"I guess not then." She said smiling at him. Both Brian and Adam stepped out onto the porch then.
"Brian has something he would like to say, honey." Adam said leaning on the rail of the porch across from her. Brian came and stood in front of her shifting his weight from one foot to the other awkwardly.
"Well, I . . ." He glanced at Adam who nodded his head at him. "I just wanted to apologize for running you so hard today." He turned around to Adam. "There!"
"You treat me any different than you would any other greenhorn?" She asked him.
"Well, maybe." He said.
"You shouldn't have! Don't listen to Adam. He always thinks I need babying. Don't treat me gentle just because I'm married to him."
"I didn't. That's not what I meant." He sighed. "I'm feeling a little guilty because I kind of made you work harder than I would any other greenhorn."
"Oh." She said surprised.
"But you just kept going. It didn't matter what I threw your way. At first I did just to be funny - push you til you asked for a break. But you never did! Then it got to be a curiosity. How much would you do? When would you quit?" He sighed. "I kind of got carried away and looking back at it, I'm pretty sorry."
"Well, it's good to know that you weren't taking it easy on me! To be honest, I was barely hanging on, but I wasn't about to quit in front of you!"
"I think I finally figured out why it felt like I'd already known you when I met you." Adam said laughing.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"You two! You're as stubborn as him!"
"Adam!" Brian said shaking his head.
"Yep. I think I married Brian!" Adam said looking horrified. Crane stepped onto the porch just then.
"Ah, no." He said laughing. "Her name's Hannah. He's Brian." Crane spoke slowly as though Adam were a small child.
"Thanks for clearing it up, Crane." Adam frowned at his brother.
"Well, you sounded confused. Him," He threw a thumb in Brian's general direction. "You boss. He pointed at Hannah, "Her - You kiss. Don't mix that up."
"I'll try not to." Adam said sitting beside Hannah.
"You wanna go into town for that dance?" Crane asked Ford. "I'll drive you over, if you want."
"Nah. I don't feel like it." Ford said. "I'm gonna go work on some homework."
"You wanna talk?" Adam asked him.
"No, I'm all talked out." He said. "Thanks Hannah for taking my spot and bringing Cleo out. It would've been awful not to say goodbye."
"You're welcome." She said and he turned to go into the house.
"Go inside and write some really horrible poetry." Brian told him. "Those poems will stink, but you'll feel better. Write something that rhymes with shattered. Trust me, write something really, really sad and then burn it. You'll feel much, much better."
"You write poetry?" Crane asked his eyebrows raised in shock.
"Well, only when my heart gets broke, so no, never." Brian said defensively.
"Oh, I want to read some." Crane said with a grin. "You want to read some?" He asked Hannah and Adam.
"I do." Hannah said. "I'd like to read it aloud."
"Oh, no! I burnt it all!" Ford left them squabbling and laughing. He climbed the stairs and went up to his room where Evan sat on his bed reading a book.
"Hey, man." Evan said.
"You didn't go?" Ford asked surprised.
"Nah. Brother solidarity. You don't go, I don't go. Now, shut up. I'm reading this book."
"Sorry." Ford said laughing and thinking that he was completely surrounded by "protective support." He glanced at Evan who lay stretched out on his bed reading.
"What?" Evan asked pretending irritation.
"I was just remembering when we looked orphan up in the dictionary."
"I remember that." Evan said laughing. "What was the name of that fat kid that called us that? Ruddy?"
"Yeah, and we thought it was a dirty word!" Ford smiled at Evan remembering when they were little his Mom used to call them her "almost" twins. He was lost in a warm memory of his mother, so didn't notice that Evan was studying him. He met his brother's eyes blushing.
"Why are you staring at me?" He asked.
"Well, it's shocking how truly ugly you are." Evan said teasing. Ford chucked a pillow at his head.
"Well, we look alike so it's pretty hard to overcome." Evan threw the pillow back at him.
"Ah, shut the hell up. I'm reading." Evan said. Ford turned to his homework, and
heard Evan's voice soft as a whisper. "You're no orphan, kid." He overlooked his seventeen-months older brother calling him kid, and instead started on his biology homework, trying not to think of how good it felt when Cleo held onto his hand.