A/N: Sorry about the long update time! I thought I'd uploaded it, but I'd really only put it into Documents... No wonder no one was reading it! Anyway, here it is!
"I always thought you were a little too mature for a four year old," Rathmir whispered as the night drew on, running her fingers through Faolan's reddish fur.
:I didn't try to conceal it much: Faolan answered, feeling more adult than she had before because finally, finally, someone knew.
"But you're still very much a child," Rathmir added, looking at William, where he stood gazing out the window towards the Companion's Field.
:It's because there's more than one life in my head: Faolan said, :I'm still Faolan… just… with a little more earthly knowledge on my hands.:
"So much makes sense now," Rathmir said with a small chuckle, looking back down at the werewolf pup laying beside her on the bed, "Raleigh for one…"
A pain ran through Faolan's heart and she picked up her head to rest it on Rathmir's leg before saying, :Rathmir… I think I might not live through the war.:
"What makes you say that?" the older Herald asked.
:I want to certainly- if only to be with Raleigh for a little longer. But- and I don't remember anything that happened after I died so I can only guess but… I think I came back so soon because I had to. Because Valdemar needed me too. Because I was the only one who knew. And Raleigh- I don't think he's going to wake up anymore. If he was then why would I have come back:
"Oh Faolan," Rathmir said and drew the girl into her arms again, hugging her tightly, "The Queen was right- you are a true Herald."
:My sole purpose here was to tell them they were werewolves. And I wasted so much time being afraid of that memory: Faolan said, feeling so bad that she squeezed herself closer to Rathmir, her eyes squeezed shut. A moment later she felt a weight on the bed on her other side and William's hand giving her shoulder a squeeze.
"Hey Fao," he said, "If there's one thing I can tell you- it's that life never does what you expect it to."
:I always had the feeling that everything that happened to me happened for a reason…: Faolan mused as she cuddled up between the two Heralds, :My being bitten and then Chosen… if either of those two events hadn't happened… If I hadn't been bitten I wouldn't have been Chosen, if I hadn't been Chosen I would have died… If neither happened I would have probably died too… They all added up to create the scenario that would allow me to remember what had happened:
"Faolan…" Rathmir whispered in her ears and before she knew it, she was slipping into an uneasy sleep.
Morning came quickly, and Faolan turned back into a human as the moon faded away. She got dressed, and Maemi and Kayin woke up- Faolan heard them playing in their bedroom. Soon someone came to watch over them, or at least watch Maemi. Kayin had started attending school.
Then Faolan, William, and Rathmir headed down to breakfast. The Great Hall was full of whispers, but no one seemed to know exactly what had happened and already rumors were rampant. Apparently everyone who knew something wasn't telling. Somehow though, most seemed to have got that it somehow centered around Faolan.
The room fell almost silent as they entered and sat down at a table. Faolan saw Christopher Alaska a few tables away and he gave her a grin and wink. Faolan smiled weakly back and tried to ignore the stares as she piled a few sausages onto her plate- going wolfish always made her much more hungry for meat in the mornings.
The three of them ate in silence, and when the bell rang for classes to start they quickly filed out ahead of the crowd and separated from William to head back to the Sommer's rooms. There had been no word yet from the Queen, nor did anyone else seem to know what was going on. Faolan wondered how many knew now that she was a werewolf and if any knew about Carry Rolf. She doubted they would had let that one slip. In fact, she doubted any of the three informed about Carry Rolf the night before were the ones who spilled on her werewolfism- after all, she had trotted through the halls at Rathmir's heels only slightly late at night, passing a few Heralds and trainees in the process. It even could have been the Guard…
"I guess we'll be changing your lessons around," Rathmir said inside her rooms, picking up Maemi and giving him a kiss on the nose, "Now that I know where your wellspring of knowledge is coming from."
Faolan blushed and nodded and said, "I guess I won't be a star pupil anymore… all my excelling was from prior knowledge."
"No," Rathmir shook her head, "You learned the new things quick too. You're doing great with your Gift training, picking it up much faster than most do."
"I am?" Faolan inquired, confused- hadn't she been doing horribly?
"Yes," Rathmir said with a smile, "I suppose you got some of that control from turning into a werewolf- am I right in guessing that you can turn whenever you wish?"
"Correct," Faolan nodded, wondering now, that everyone knew, or would know, if she could change any time and run about the field like a crazed puppy. It might be fun. She grinned.
Faolan went to Archery as normal- where everyone was too polite to ask her anything, but all the trainees stared discreetly at her as she flung arrows at the targets to the Weaponmaster's call. The day seemed to creep by infinitely slowly, and Faolan longed to know what was going on, what would change, what would happen. After lunch and a shower, she met up with Rathmir once again, blissfully away from the stares and whispers, and delved into some coursework that was more on Carry Rolf's level before practicing controlling her Empathy and Mindspeech.
That evening, Rathmir's room was swarmed by a horde of trainees- namely Alaska and Co. and the Girls.
"What's going on?" Danielle wanted to demand, "Faolan- half the palace says you're a werewolf, and the other half says the Karsites are werewolves…"
Faolan grinned at the eight Heraldic trainees all trying to squeeze into one room while Rathmir hovered by the edges, acting as something to hide behind for Maemi and Kayin. They all fell quiet once it became clear that Faolan was going to speak.
"It's true," she said and Alaska had on a sort of knowing look- she knew he suspected all along, "I'm a werewolf and the Karsites are werewolves."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Aine inquired from where she sat on the floor.
"It was a big enough sensation that a four year old was Chosen anyway- I didn't need the extra attention. Besides, it meant you got to know me before knowing I bite," Faolan said with a grin.
"Were you bitten by a Karsite then?" Keanu asked, leaning up against the doorway.
"Probably…" Faolan shrugged.
"Why now?" Alaska piped up, his quiet voice nevertheless penetrating the buzz that had started up again in the room.
"Because I realized that the man that had bitten me- after he changed back, was wearing the robes of a Karsite priest," Faolan quickly lied, "Which I hadn't before. I saw a picture of one in a book and made the connection."
"No wonder," Ranae whispered from behind the crowd.
"Can you change right now?" Tobie asked.
Faolan nodded slowly and said, "I can… And I have control over my wolf self as well. Most of the werewolves in tales were the ones who couldn't control the Change and went rampant. So there's no worries."
"Yeah, I think we'd have noticed by now if a crazy wolf was in Faolan's bedroom once a month," Dunne chuckled.
"Okay, you've had your interrogation session, now out of my room!" Rathmir said, stepping forward and making shooing motions with her hands.
"You're a werewolf?" Maemi whispered from behind Rathmir once everyone had filed out. His eyes were wide and Faolan immediately felt bad.
"Yes," she said, sliding off the bed, "But I'm not a mean one Maemi. Want to see?"
He shook his head and said, "Werewolves are scary."
"But I'm not," Faolan insisted, stepping over to him, "Do I look scary now?"
"No," he shook his head.
"Then I'm not scary as a wolf. Besides, I don't turn into a big ole' wolf. I turn into a puppy. I'll show you," Faolan said and for the first time in over a year she pulled on her wolf self, urging it to come out.
The change went quickly- it got easier every time, and Faolan barely noticed the pain and in a few minutes she sat before Maemi, a lanky reddish hued wolf pup. He let out a squeal of delight and said, "I wanna be a werewolf Mommy!"
"No you don't Maemi," Rathmir said with a chuckle as Kayin came in from the other room, holding a blanket and looking in to see the commotion.
"Puppy!" she exclaimed, running over and petting Faolan with delight.
"It's Faolan," Maemi announced proudly.
"Fao?" Kayin asked in confusion, looking up at Rathmir and then back at Faolan.
:Sometimes I worry about you Faolan: Raul stuck in, :And losing control. But at times like these I realize you have iron control…:
:I'm just sitting back and waiting for my chance: Faolan remarked evilly back to Raul before licking Maemi's delighted face.
:Somehow… I no longer believe you: Raul said and Faolan's wolf self almost bubbled up in anger- but the sight of the two children before her stopped her.
Then she snarled playfully and started chasing Kayin and Maemi around the rooms, barking and wagging her tale like a puppy with too much sugar, until all three of them collapsed on the rug in the playroom, panting and out of breath. Once Fao realized the other two were asleep she stepped up again, meeting the amused gaze of Rathmir before trotting back to where she had changed and her clothes were piled.
"You really are something, Faolan," Rathmir whispered as Faolan made the change back and climbed back into her clothes, and then on second thought, stripped them off again and pulled on pajamas, feeling entirely worn out.
"I got a second chance," she said quietly, sitting down on the floor and looking up at Rathmir, "I want to cherish every moment I'm in this life."
"Faolan…" Rathmir said softly, kneeling down near Faolan, "I don't think you're going to die any time soon."
"But if I do," Faolan started before Rathmir stopped her, "I want to have enjoyed every moment and if Raleigh never wakes up… well it wasn't like I expected to be able to see him again anyway."
"Faolan," Rathmir said again and squeezed the girl tightly.
The next morning Faolan awoke from her cot in Maemi and Kayin's room to hear Rathmir storm in and slam the door shut. It was early and Faolan wondered why the Herald had been up so early. Sleepily, she yawned, pricking her ears as Rathmir started loudly exclaiming to William.
"The very fact that they came to me and not her shows that they're not thinking clearly!" Rathmir shouted, "They know she's got the mind of an adult yet they tell me before her! The very proposal suggests they're treating her as an adult but then…"
"Maybe they thought she'd rather hear it from you than them- that you'd be able to explain it to her more clearly," William's soft voice floated in.
"Faolan is not a child!" Rathmir growled, "She understands it when you speak!"
Faolan lifted her eyes to where Maemi was staring wide eyed at the door to the other room. She sighed and stood up, moving over to him with a slight smile before kneeling beside his bed.
"'Morning Maemi," she said cheerfully and a bit loudly, so the Sommer's would know they were up. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to overheard the rest of that conversation.
"You know…" William said, his voice softer, "I think they still might intend to tell her themselves. Maybe they wanted you to know so you'd hear it from them and not her. Maybe it's the other way around. You did go poking around for information early in the morning."
"Perhaps…" Rathmir's voice was softer but then she cursed, "Still- I don't know what they're thinking!"
"You said yourself she's got the mind of an adult," William said. Faolan stood up and quietly walked over to the door and pushed it open, slipped through and shut it again before facing Rathmir and the Weaponsmaster.
"What is it?" she asked.
Rathmir stared at her for a long moment and William only looked at his wife with a curiosity, his eyes asking her as well. She sighed and sat down heavily on the bed and William pulled her into his arms.
"Are you sure you want to hear it from me?" Rathmir asked and Faolan nodded.
So Rathmir slowly said, "They want you to spy. As a werewolf. In the ranks of those thrice cursed Karsites."