A/N: Having head trauma, no matter how minor, I can only imagine about. I've been a lucky one. Although my sister never had a concussion, she had meningitis a while back, and it was frightening how it altered her ability to perceive, think, and respond. Furthermore, it affected her personality. I can only imagine the frustration.
Chapter 26: Infirmities
Consciousness drifted gently to Bella. Sensations faded to her awareness in gradients. First she was just merely aware of her own mind. Next, she could hear commonplace noise; nothing special. Next, she was aware of something soft beneath her head, which she simultaneously felt begin to ache, and sheets beneath her hands. Finally, she opened her eyes.
The room she was in was dimly lit, much to her appreciation, and nicely furnished. She discovered this when she turned her head to give a glance about the room. The room was otherwise empty, other than a tray with a glass of water sitting beside her. She removed thick covers off of her and slowly forced herself to sit up. A sense of vertigo temporarily paralyzed her, almost causing her to fall back down onto the bed. Instead, she just remained sitting up, suddenly unwilling to go all the way and stand. One may feel terrified by now, but she could hear that there were people out in the hallway. There was only one reasonable response to her situation.
"Hello?" she called out. She didn't have the energy or inclination to shout, so she settled for just raising her voice. She pressed her fingers into the soft mattress and waited. Just as she was about to call out again, the door swung open. The figure wasn't immediately discernable, as the person purposely tried to block as much light from the hallways from entering as possible. Once Bella's eyes adjusted, she realized it was a woman entering. She was familiar… but from where?
"How are you?" she asked. It wasn't a cautious, girly tone, or a droning apathetic tone of one who just asks because it is required to. There was something sensible in her tone and mannerisms.
"My head hurts, I'm dizzy, and…" Bella thought for a moment. How did she feel other than that? There had been some anxiety hiding around the bend, and she caught it peeking its head from around the corner. Her eyes lit up and she frowned. "How long was I out for? I have things I need to do…"
"Calm down. You won't be able to get anything done if you harm yourself further," the woman respond reassuringly. Bella stared into her large, dark blue eyes, framed by strawberry blonde bangs. Yes, she'd met her before the fight with the celestial ships. The woman seemed to have a natural smile to her lips, and Bella remembered staring at them when she talked. What was her name?
"Has more than a day passed since…" Bella trailed off. For some reason, she couldn't quite remember just when she lost consciousness. She remembered rushing to Sashua's aid, and there being some bizarre woman-like being with many wings. There was a faint snapshot of Fayt and Cliff, and some others off in the distance. The precise details, however, were lost on her.
"Not quite a full day has passed. You just needed to rest. You hit your head very hard," the woman answered. Bella blinked a few times, and then sighed. "Why don't you lay back down?" Bella relented, and laid herself down, but propped up her head and shoulders a little so that she could drink the water beside her without spilling all over herself.
"I'm sorry… I don't remember your name, but you were there planning the fight against the Celes- er… those Vendeers…" Bella said apologetically.
"It isn't a problem. I am Mirage," she said, shaking her head, wearing that pleasant smile of hers. "It is good to see that your long term memory is in tact." Bella agreed that this was, in fact, a good thing. She drank the water passionately, feeling absolutely parched and sluggish. She could feel the cool revitalizing liquid flow down her throat, and could track the coolness all the way down her chest cavity. By the time she set the empty glass aside, her headache was beginning to wear out. However, this only allowed her to become aware of the stinging, sore sensation on her chest. She remembered a bloody hand. Bella put a hand to her chest, pulling at the blouse a little to peer down. She didn't care if there was someone present; it was only another woman. She saw some short bandages with spots of blood, and one particular strip reaching up to her clavicle that was stitched shut.
"I did a very foolish thing, didn't I?" Bella murmured. This was going to scar, and though she was not particularly vain, she did not fancy having a large, ungainly scar down her chest.
"It is not my place to say, especially since we arrived only part way through," Mirage responded. "I wouldn't worry, you are in capable hands. A combination of medicine and symbology, coupled with sufficient rest, will have you better in no time."
"Symbology?" Bella asked. Mirage nodded.
"Yes, what you refer to as Runology," Mirage gave a straightforward explanation. Bella shaped her mouth into a small circle, to let out a barely audible 'oh'.
"Oh. Where would you find a runologist who has… uh… healing? I am in Kirlsa, right?" Bella asked dubiously.
"You are. We travel with someone gifted with… advanced symbology," Mirage responded, meandering a little in her usual direct tone. Bella glanced back down at the healing wounds. "I will go fetch your attending doctor. I know that the others, Cliff and Fayt in particular, will be interested to know you are awake and with only minor head trauma."
"Why wait on me? It seems a foolish thing to do when… when…" Bella suddenly lost her thought, and desperately tried to retrieve it. However, all was lost, and she gave a defeated sigh. Whatever it was, it was important, or clever.
"…When we have a very important mission?" Mirage hazarded a guess. Bella turned and looked at her, staring blankly for a moment.
"What? Oh yes, that was it," Bella said, feeling a little flustered by her inability to focus.
"I will see about that doctor," Mirage repeated, turning and heading for the door. Bella sighed, rolling her aching head back gently into the pillow. She stared upward. She tried to hold a thought long enough to make sense of it, but instead everything felt fragmented and scattered.
It wasn't long before a Glyphian doctor entered her room. Naturally, this doctor was a man, as women simply were not objective or intelligent enough to aspire to such a distinguished occupation. Bella offered her full cooperation, answering any question he asked to the best of her ability. It seemed to go by remarkably fast, even when he was redressing her wounds. She was sure she winced, and there was pain somewhere in that interval, but it all quickly vanished from her mind. Her mind was too busy trying to grope at something that was causing her worry.
Sometime after the doctor had left, the cloud in Bella's mind seemed to momentarily lift. "Sashua…" uttered a disquieted Bella. She knew that she was told to rest, but Bella struggled to her feet, fighting the dizziness and nausea regardless. Shuffling her feet to keep both of them touching the ground at all times; Bella followed the wall to the door. Her hand went for the handle, but instead smacked into the wall beside the door. Bella held up her trembling hand, glaring at it for its disobedience. Concentrating hard, she carefully guided her hand to the handle. Feeling the cold metal against the palm of her hand, she grasped the handle and pulled the door open.
The hall was empty at that moment, devoid of servants. She slipped out of her room, keeping a hand along the wall as she walked down the carpeted hallway. Familiar voices caught her attention, and she tip-toed closer to the source.
"…to Aquaria. But, we saw the light show Bella was making trying to take on an executioner by herself. I'd say the girl's got guts, but she probably didn't know what she was up against," spoke Cliff's distinctive voice. Bella curled in her lips and held her breath as she continued to listen.
"I'm beat… I've been fighting those executioners almost all day… and I know more will come, eventually," came Fayt's voice.
"This is very grave indeed. I've sent word to King Arzei to be cautious about fighting these new enemies that have invaded our home," explained Woltar's slow, steady tones. "I am old, and not in the same shape I used to be, but if I have to fight them to protect Kirlsa, I will."
"Ludicrous! Don't be a fool, old man - you'd get eaten alive," scolded Albel.
"If these executioners are as powerful as you say, Bella is quite fortunate indeed. Now it is a matter of whether she is very brave, or very foolish," Woltar continued, ignoring Albel's remark.
"How do you figure the difference?" Fayt inquired.
"Whether she attacked it head on, or it attacked her and she was fighting for her life," Woltar responded sagely.
"Hard to say. Bella hasn't given any indication of how she came to be engaged," piped in Mirage's voice.
"Oh, Mirage, glad you could join us," Fayt expressed with enthusiasm. "What do you know?"
"The doctor confirms my suspicions. The head trauma was minor. She should be fine as long as she takes it easy," Mirage responded in a pleasant tone of voice. "I don't think there will be any permanent damage. Symptoms of headaches, nausea, forgetfulness, foul moods, low energy, lack of coordination, and an inability to focus may persist for a few days, though." Bella frowned. A few days? I don't have a few days to recover! Bella felt her ears get increasingly hot as her heart began to thump angrily in her chest. This is their fault! They were supposed to stop these freaks from coming to destroy us! Bella almost burst into the room to express her thoughts, but quickly caught herself. What am I getting so worked up about? This is just a delay, nothing more. My plans will remain absolute.
"Not sure when she hit her head, though. When we arrived she was casting spells like a maniac, and then went for a tackle. She seemed quite lively until Mr. Knight-in-Shining-Armor dragged her off. Then she just seemed to go limp," Cliff recounted. "I mean, we were still quite a ways off, but I could see pretty well. Hmm… speaking of which… I could have sword there was someone else contributing to the fight, but… I didn't get a good look, and by the time we arrived, no one else was there but us…"
"She was probably running on pure adrenaline after receiving the blow to her skull," Mirage surmised. "We won't know until she is well enough to remember - if she can at all." Bella sighed. Would she remember? She really wished she could, then she might be able to remember what happened to Sashua.
"It was pure something…" Cliff remarked. "Anyway, we could ask her right now. I think she is just out in the hallway," Cliff pointed out casually. Bella froze. That was the second time he did that to her. There seemed to be a silent pause. She didn't even hear someone's footsteps come out, to see if he were right. Bella held her breath, adding to the silence. Finally, she heard the chink-thud of someone wearing greaves coming closer. Bella quickly thought up excuses or what to say when she got berated. Finally the door she had leaned her ear against swung open, revealing a grim-faced Albel.
Bella took instant initiative, blurting out what she had managed to think up in those few seconds. "I called, but no one heard me," Bella lied. Albel continued to stare at her, unconvinced and unmoved. Instead, he just closed his eyes and shook his head at her. Bella didn't have anything to add. She was sure she had more clever things to say, why, more Bella things to say, but they all fled. With the death of just a few cells, she was suddenly vulnerable and clumsy. Just a few, tiny cells, and she ached all over, couldn't stand without support, and her cognition became so dull. Of course, Bella wouldn't know this, being on a planet with primitive understandings of biology. If she did, she'd further discriminate against the fragile existence of humans, and undertake her determination to be a cut above the rest with even more conviction. Nonetheless, she was distressed over her weakened state. Albel could see this.
"You brought this upon yourself, fool. And I was beginning to think you had some redeeming qualities…" Albel whispered. Bella's countenance fell with her mood, feeling crushed. It wasn't like her, and she knew it. That was the worst part. However, she did not believe it was entirely her folly. She was trying to save a valuable asset and companion... but she didn't want to explain. She lowered her head. She was going to nod, but once her chin was down, she didn't have the energy to lift it.
"You're right. I was reckless…" Bella admitted against her nature. Albel stared at her hard, as if waiting for more. While he waited, the others in that room got curious and a little restless.
"Well? Are you just going to stand there glaring at her or what?" came Cliff's inquiry. Albel glanced over his shoulder at the surly brute. Without a word, his arm reached out and firmly, but gently, guided Bella away from the door. Afterwards, he stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind him. From behind the door Bella could hear Cliff remark, "Jeez! What's gotten into him this time?"
Bella felt she owed it to herself to show a little more defiance and spirit. "You're right, but I'm not sorry for doing what I did. A fool I may be, but a fool with conviction," Bella said. The flow of her wording wasn't as smooth as it often was, as her mind stalled a few times while saying these enforcing words. However, she made it to the end of her sentiment without completely losing her train of thought.
"I don't care," Albel responded frostily, guiding her arm around slowly, forcing her to turn around. Once she had her back to him, his hand let go of her arm and was placed on the back of her shoulder instead. "Get back to your room."
Bella, in her infirmity, complied without further ado. However, the guided turning made her dizzy. When she tried to take a step forward, she instead fell back against Albel. Hurriedly, he caught her under one of her arms with his good arm… however, there wasn't much support his other arm could offer. The large mechanical gauntlet he wore was made for battle, not for the support and aid of others. It definitely was not possible to be gentle with sharp, metal phalanges. Thus, it was awkward to get Bella back onto her feet, even with her contribution. "I am… however… sorry I can't…"
"Be quiet," Albel quickly interceded. Bella was leaning against the wall, and Albel was standing close behind her, shaking his head. "If this damage were permanent, I'd end your miserable existence… I have no need for an invalid." Bella took a few cautious steps, keeping her arm on the wall. However, she stopped after the slow process of unriddling words into ideas occurred.
"Good…" Bella responded. "I'll hold you to your word…" Bella said tiredly. She'd hate to be an invalid. Although the strange genetic disease usually had an acute onset, there still could be months of agony. She'd be destined for death anyway. She knew she could count on Albel to euthanize her without much conflict on his part. Alternatively, she may lose her mind first, like both of her aunts did. Wouldn't that be fun? Bella took a few more steps. She hated this. She'd never been this miserable in her life. "I'll keep the same promise to you… I imagine it would be agony for you to be bedridden… to be weakened to a state where you could only live off of the effort and charity of others…"
"…" Albel's failure to respond was louder and clearer than anything he could have said. It was also a preferred means of communication on Bella's part, and she suspected on Albel's part as well. Especially now that she knew she could lose focus any moment and say something very random or lame. Bella's hand finally clasped the door handle to her room. She paused and sighed before pushing the door open. Just as she was to step into her room, a voice projected, loud and clear, to where she stood.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" traveled Cliff's unmistakable voice. Bella labored another, deeper sigh. However, this cut short in a small gasp, for expanding her chest too much caused the cuts to sting. So instead of an exasperated sigh, she just squeaked and then hissed.
"What is that arrogant worm going on about…" Bella could hear Albel mutter. She remained paused in the doorway of her room. My room? Bella only just realized thatWoltar had provided her with a room. Bella supposed it wasn't to imprudent when it came to finding a good bed for an injured friend. Of course, Bella was unsure of the term 'friend' really defined her from anyone's perspective. She had visited Woltar a few times, but she was not sure one could call them friends. She was just a welcomed acquaintance that may provide some benefit to Woltar; namely someone to knot Albel to. While Fayt may behave in a friendly manner towards her, it was just his personality. Cliff and her had spent some time alone while his clothes were getting dried after that fall through the ice, but there wasn't exactly any significant connection. She got the impression that Maria merely tolerated her. Bella believed Nel to still be wary of her. Mirage and Sophia were just good people. Bella had no opinion of the small performer girl. Lastly, Albel and her were far from friends. It wasn't just a matter of proximity, but friendship was an entirely different road; a different dimension altogether! In all the languages she knew, there was not a single word that defined their connection. Well, that was, other than fiancé, but that didn't convey what was going on behind the scenes. Sucked into these thoughts, Bella stood unaware of anyone or anything around her for a time.
Once her thoughts on the idea of friendship dried up, she became aware of voices. They were talking in elevated tones in that room, but from where she stood, she couldn't quite make it all out. Glancing out into the hall, she could see that Albel had left. Although she could not discern what he was saying, she was sure he was one of the voices. The conversation did not sound like a peaceful one.
"I should rest…" Bella told herself. However, she wasn't convinced. Curiousity was one of her vices. The tones seemed to quiet down, and eventually she heard a slamming door somewhere in the house. Sighing, with the opportunity to catch the trail end of the heated discussion lost, Bella turned back to her room. It was nice having a private room to herself, she reflected. Perhaps she would keep this room to herself even when she was married. Bella had only taken a step into her room when she heard footsteps. She paused, and then slowly turned, seeing Fayt. She blinked a few times, curious that he had come this way.
"Oh… hey there Bella…" Fayt greeted casually. Bella continued to stare at him. While in a round about away, one could get out of the manor passing through this hallway, there were more direct routes. So why was he here? Hmph, I bet I know.
"Hello Fayt. Here to cure your curiousness, uh, as to what… well about when I charged that… executioner… thing?" Bella asked. Her head hurt, her focus was declining. With determination, she tried to force herself to focus. However, when it is the brain that is affected, there is only so much will power can do. Frustrated, Bella brought one hand up to rub her left temple. Seeing this, Fayt frowned.
"Something like that… but you look like you should get some more rest," Fayt said, with genuine concern. Bella stared at him.
"I'm fine," Bella asserted. Fayt looked as though he were about to disagree, but a small nagging voice in the back of his head screamed 'hypocrite', and thus, he held his tongue.
"Okay…" was all Fayt could respond with as an alternate to his first impulse. "Actually, I was concerned… you refused to come with us because you wanted a family, right?"
"More or less, but not the same way most… uh… girls do," Bella responded peevishly, waiting for him to get to the point.
"Well, I just heard you were going to marry Albel, and well, he's sort of…"
"Violent, arrogant, temperamental, and cold?" Bella responded, her words in rapid procession. She was amazed and gratified how quickly she thought of the words, and forced them out quickly lest she lose them. Fayt had his turn to stare at her blankly.
"To list a few," he finally added. "You said you wanted someone strong… and while he's a good swordsman… is it really worth it?"
"I don't need your concern," Bella responded crankily, now rubbing both of her temples furiously. She gave a long pause, her lips moving, but not a sound coming out. However, eventually she began to speak slowly but concisely, even if her sentences lacked any flow or transition. "I know what I am getting into. I am content with it. I could not be with someone who fell desperately in love with me. I am best with someone who will not mind being held at an arm's length. Someone dangerous will keep me on my feet." This only continued to astonish Fayt. He stood there, trying to find some understanding in her decision, but shook his head in failure. However, he looked up at Bella, carefully gazing into her eyes.
"Look, Bella, I know you have been disappointed with people. They do a lot of horrible things to each other, and often don't make much sense. But there are so many wonderful things humans have done, and they can be selfless and honourable. Being a human isn't so bad, and it's no reason to loathe yourself because you are one. You really could do better… and while I'm not trying to insult Albel particularly, I just think as he is he won't make a good husband," Fayt tried to reason. Bella continued to stare at him, unmoved.
"Selfless? Foolishness. You are trying to reason with the wrong person, Fayt. No need to be concerned about me. Albel is the one who will get used up…" Bella closed her eyes. "I respect him, but I do not… he is… he has so many pent up… things. When he finally falls apart, I am not going to pick up the pieces," Bella responded coldly, trying to push the pain away. Instead, it just rebounded on her, grating her nerves to tiny threads. Fayt seemed affronted, but his eyes drifted to her hands which cradled her head, and his expression softened.
"You don't mean those things… you aren't yourself," he said patronizingly. Bella shot him a sharp glance, in spite of the pain opening her eyes suddenly caused her. "Go get some rest," Fayt suggested. Bella continued to glare, but relented. The pain was too much for her to try and ignore. She needed rest. She needed respite. She needed to be herself again as soon as possible. Defeated, Bella closed the door behind her, and shuffled to the bed.
A/N: Heh heh…. Because of his obsession with the word 'worm' I just had to use the term 'arrogant worm'. Of course, he has no place to call anyone else arrogant. This obscure reference may only make sense to fellow Canadians. Arrogant Worms is the name of a musical band that does comedic, and quite patriotic, songs. I recommend "The War of 1812", "The Mounted Animal Nature Trail", "Canada is Really Big", or "Carrot Juice is Murder".