Chapter 25: Merging

"Now that we know the Brotherhood of Evil is involved with the light, we have a little bit more information about what's going on. And from M'gann looking into the minds of those we captured, we know who all is here from the Light and that their primary objective is to capture Raven to reopen the dimensional portal. We also know which members of the Brotherhood of Evil are currently working with the Light, though there's no guarantee that won't change before we see them again."

Both the Titans and the Team looked at the speaker standing in the middle of the room in surprise. It wasn't who was speaking that surprised them, but the version that caught everyone off guard. NW had stood up and started the meeting, as though it were the most natural thing in the world to do. It wasn't as though the Titans objected to a member of the Team speaking up, but wasn't Kaldur the Team's leader?

Raven felt the most confused of all. NW spoke as they he knew not only the Titans, but also who the Brotherhood of Evil was, and the Titans hadn't yet had a chance to debrief the Team on the Brotherhood yet. That was partially what this meeting was for.

NW seemed to realize his behavior was odd and blinked before looking around for Nightwing. "I guess you should lead this meeting," he said awkwardly, moving from his spot.

"You didn't say anything I wouldn't have said," Nightwing said, then got down to business. "I'm putting together a team to investigate the old known hideouts of the Brotherhood of Evil and see if we can learn anything, or discover if the Brotherhood is housing the Light in any of those places. I want Flash, Mas y Menos, and Speedy led by Bumble Bee to handle that."

Most of the rest of the meeting consisted of the Titans telling the Team about the Brotherhood of Evil and the Team telling the Titans about the Light, particularly the members currently in the Titans' dimension before they discussed what to do next. Raven sulked when the topic of protecting her came up, but knew that she would feel the same way if it was another one of the Titans or the Team in danger. She especially had to be careful until her powers fully returned.

~.~

After the meeting, Raven finally managed to catch Nightwing alone in his makeshift office, given to him by Bumble Bee.

"Is it hard to work without your collage of newspaper clippings, villain bios, and random villainous artifact all around you?" Raven asked as she shut the door behind her.

"It is actually," Nightwing joked. "I keep trying to look behind me for references to help in plans I want to make, and all I find is a blank wall."

Raven sat down and they stared at each other for a few moments before Nightwing stated quietly, "I'm glad you're back, Raven."

"Did any of the Titans blame you for what happened?" Raven asked, wanting to know.

Nightwing's eyes tightened, but he responded, "That doesn't matter. You're back and you're safe. What happened with Trigon is in the past now."

"So that means yes."

Nightwing sighed. "Raven, when you're leader, some people are always going to hate some of the decisions you make. It comes with the territory and it's not your concern."

"They should blame me, not you. It was my idea. And my fault that Trigon was here to begin with."

"The actions of your father aren't your fault, Raven. They weren't your fault the first time Trigon tried to take over our dimension, and they weren't your fault the second time when he took possession of your body." Nightwing spoke emphatically, hating the idea of Raven blaming herself for what happened. Not that he was one to talk, since he still felt guilty for how things turned out. The thought had haunted him for months that if they'd only had a little more time, a little warning that Trigon was coming, they could have come up with a different solution.

"So we just pretend like nothing happened?" Raven asked.

"That's not my intention," Nightwing said with a shake of his head. "When all this is over, the Titans West will plan for what to do in case Trigon ever makes another move on our dimension. And we can get all emotional and talk about our feelings too, since you seem so intent on that."

Raven scowled. "That's not what I want. Enough of my magic has come back that I can feel your guilt from here. I want you to stop feeling like what happened was your fault. The weight of everything does not rest on your shoulders, much as you'd like to act like it does and take the blame for everything that goes wrong."

"Maybe that's something we both need to work on," Nightwing said. It would be a huge relief to have Raven back. She always got after him when he took too much on himself. Too much responsibility, too much guilt, too many expectations of what he should be capable of in leading the Titans and in protecting Jump City and all those who followed his lead. Like Cyborg, Raven had taken on a larger leadership role as the Titans grew and had helped train the Titans Europe under Argent's command.

"We'll start up a class when we get back to the Titans' West Tower," Raven said. "'Learning How to Let Go of Guilt for Things That Aren't Your Fault'." She sighed. "It will be nice to go home. To see our tower and sleep in my own bed. And especially to see my library. I even think I'm excited to see some of our old villains."

"Well, I can't promise you anything as exciting as cults trying to resurrect banished gods, but Mad Mod's got a new apprentice and has managed to evade capture so far."

Raven stilled. "What did you just say?"

"I said that Mad Mod's got a new apprentice. Weird, I know. I don't know how anyone could put up with—"

"No," Raven interrupted, shaking her head. "What you said before that. How did you know about the Order of Lagash? I haven't told you anything about the other dimension other than what happened with the Justice League."

Nightwing paused and looked at Raven in surprised confusion for a moment. "I guess someone from the Team must have told me. When they first appeared and you were in a coma, I asked them how Scarlet Gem came to join the Team. They must have talked about the Order."

"I guess so," Raven agreed, feeling that something was off about the situation. The Team had been here for only a week, meaning that Nightwing had to have had that conversation mere days ago. How could he have already forgotten about it? Raven shook the thought off and passed it off as stress. A lot had happened during that week and Nightwing had much bigger concerns than remembering how the supposed Scarlet Gem ended up joining the Team.

Glancing at the clock in the corner of the room, Raven stood up. "I better get going. NW and I are training together in a few minutes."

"Why?" Nightwing asked with a frown.

"Why? You mean why am I training with NW?" Raven looked at Nightwing in confusion. "Why do you care?"

Looking uncertain, Nightwing shook his head. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

~.~

After their training, NW and Raven sat against the wall of the training room, breathing heavy and drinking water. NW leaned his head against the wall and sighed. "I wish that we were home," he said. "I feel like it's harder to focus here."

For some odd reason, Raven's mind flashed to the Titans West Tower and she thought of Nightwing missing his office. "Are you talking about the Cave? Since when do you consider that to be home?"

NW didn't respond and Raven looked at him. His face hold a confused look similar to the one Nightwing wore earlier that day. "I just meant that it's harder to think in an unfamiliar environment with so much going on." He looked down and fiddled with his water bottle. "Though I guess that this place is closer to home for you."

Raven wanted to let it go, but something strange was going on here. Every person emitted their own particular feeling. Raven could tell who was in a room without seeing them. In Nightwing's office, when he asked why Raven was training with NW, he felt like NW. He also felt the tiniest bit…jealous? And when NW just talked about wishing they were home, he felt like Nightwing. She didn't know what was going on, but she made a mental note to keep an eye on things.

~.~

When the Titans East got a criminal alert later that day, both Nightwing and NW turned to Raven and said, "You stay here." Raven raised her eyebrows as the two young men looked at each other in surprise.

"I thought you wanted me to still fight," Raven said to NW. "Weren't you arguing that I don't need my powers to be a superhero?"

"Yes," NW agreed, scratching the back of his head. "But there's still the fact that you're the target of the Light and possibly the Brotherhood of Evil. Powers or not, it's better to ere on the side of caution, right?"

Raven narrowed her eyes, but said nothing.

~.~

NW had asked Raven to talk with him after dinner. Now that she had her memories back, he wanted to know more about her past and about her, and said he'd tell Raven more about himself. While Raven cared for NW and was looking forward to talking to him, part of her felt reluctant. She wasn't sure how much she was actually willing to tell him about her time before the Teen Titans. Not that she didn't trust him, it was just…Well, maybe part of her didn't trust him. How many people would be okay with finding out that the girl they liked was half-demon and could have one serious dark side?

Raven was walking down the hall to meet with NW when Nightwing stopped her. "Where are you going, Raven? I feel like the Titans have hardly seen you since you got back."

"You mean in the less than three days I've actually been awake and between all the superheroing? I don't think that anyone here as seen much of anyone else."

"Raven," NW called. "Are you coming?" He walked up to the two and he and Nightwing looked at each other warily.

"Oh," Nightwing said flatly. "You're going somewhere with him again?"

"Is that a problem?" NW asked, crossing his arms.

"I guess not so long as you don't hand her over to anyone who might give her to the Light."

Raven sucked in a breath and NW balled his hands fists. "That wasn't our intention," he said darkly. "I didn't want anything to happen to her. And how would you know what it truly means to care for someone until you've gone into the very depths of hell to save them?"

"What?" Raven and Nightwing echoed each other, Raven looking shocked and Nightwing looking angry. NW's look turned confused.

"Okay," Raven said, holding up her hands. "There is something very strange going on here and the three of us are going to sit down together until we figure it out. Both of you keep saying things that I would expect the other to say, and you keep feeling like each other."

"Feeling like each other?" NW questioned.

"Yes. Every living being has a psychic echo, and your echoes keep getting confused."

"Maybe it's because we're the same person, just from different dimensions?" Nightwing suggested.

Raven shook her head. "If that were true than Beast Man and Beast Boy would be having the same problem, but both of them are acting and feeling normally. The problem is with the two of you. Now, we're going to Nightwing's office."

Once Nightwing and NW sat down, Raven turned to NW. "What did you mean about going to hell to save someone?"

NW rubbed his face. "I don't know. I just feel like I remember having to go down there to save you, except you were a kid somehow. I remember how panicked I felt that I might never see you again, but that never happened, did it? How would you have even ended up in hell to begin with?"

"It did happen actually," Nightwing said. "Just in this world, and I was the one who did the saving."

"All right," Raven said. "Nightwing has memories of the Order of Lagash and NW has memories from when Trigon first attacked. Did this start after the Team came to this dimension?"

"No," NW admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've been having dreams of someone who looked like you except wearing…the cloak you're wearing now. I think I was dreaming of the Teen Titans."

"And I think I've been dreaming about the Team for a couple months now," Nightwing added. "I kept seeing you in a cave with other superheroes, but I didn't know what it meant."

"When did this start happening?" Raven asked NW.

"I think that the first dream was after…" He paused to think. "It happened right after the League of Shadows kidnapped us in Paris."

Raven thought back and then gasped. "When I woke up you were connected to a machine. I had no idea what it was or what it did, but it was the trans-dimensional device. Connecting the machine to someone who doesn't have magic must consequences. I think it connected you with the Nightwing of this dimension somehow."

"So what do we need to do?" NW asked. "Should we go get M'gann to separate our memories?"

"It's not just that," Raven said, shaking her head. "Like I said, you two keep feeling like the other person. M'gann might be able to help you sort out which memories actually belong to you, but your consciousness' are either switching, or merging. M'gann can't help with that."

NW paled. "Will this keep happening?"

"I think that I can fix it," Raven said. "I'll have to go deep into your minds to sort out who's who though."

"Do you have enough magic for this?" Nightwing asked.

"Yes," Raven assured him. "But I need one of you to move your chair so that you're sitting right next to each other."

Nightwing picked up his chair and scooted next to NW. Having both of them stare at Raven unnerved her, so she moved to stand behind them and laid one hand on each man's shoulders. She didn't need to be touching them to go inside their minds, but it made it easier to focus, and Raven had never gone inside two minds at once.

Delving inside was a confusing mishmash of broken and half-formed memories. Raven felt queasy just looking at it and wondered how confused the two men must have felt and how long it had been going on for. Knowing both Nightwings, it was impossible to tell. They weren't ones to complain or let others know of any weaknesses.

Raven decided to start with Nightwing first, since she was much more familiar with his mind and memories. Both because she'd been inside his mind before and because she'd been a constant part of his life for years now. She pulled out his memories of his time with the Flying Graysons and stacked them neatly, checking and pulling out anything that didn't match or that felt more like NW. Then she moved on to his years under Batman. Once she reached what she thought of as the Teen Titan Era of Nightwing's life, things became much easier. She could see large patches of memory missing, but she was sure she'd find them when she looked inside NW's mind.

She tried not to pry too deeply into his thoughts, but it was impossible not to see anything. She felt relieved when she saw his feelings for her. Deep devotion and protectiveness, but no romantic feelings. The jealousy she felt from him must have been NW's feeling manifesting inside Nightwing. He did, understandably, feel weirded out by seeing her with NW and he was wary of NW hurting her, but Nightwing would probably feel that way about any guy Raven got close to.

Gently easing out of Nightwing's mind, Raven moved onto NW. The mess felt larger inside NW's mind since he had all his memories now plus some of Nightwing's, and it was more confusing since it wasn't as familiar. It wasn't horrendous though, all things considered. Their lives hadn't been that different. There were small differences and as they got older and their paths forked a little more, but both still made decisions and had events in their lives that led to them becoming Robin and then Nightwing. Raven pulled out all the bits that felt like Nightwing, or that she immediately knew as Nightwing's, and put them where they belonged.

At the end of NW's memories, she found a lot about her. About the interest NW felt when her knowledge of languages and fighting abilities came to light. About how much he enjoyed fighting with her and then came to fear that she belonged somewhere else and with someone else. She tried not to see anymore, knowing that it wasn't fair. Deeming their minds organized enough, she pulled back.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

"Better," Nightwing said, rolling his shoulders back. "I feel like I can think clearly now."

"Does that mean that you two can be civil to each other now?" Raven asked with raised eyebrows.

"I think we can manage that," NW said, his look and emotions unreadable to Raven.