Hello again! I'm sorry about the chapter mix up first of all, I'm replacing chapter 24 with the actual chapter 24! And then the other thing is that I'm terribly sorry that I've updated late, but it was sort of necessary. I was at Science Olympiad yesterday, and then had a concert that night. Then today was pretty darn hectic as well. So you're all getting the update today instead of yesterday. But I promise an update on Sunday!

The quote from chapter 25 was: "All through the perfect summer – the happiest summer either of us had ever had, the happiest summer anyone anywhere had ever had – this bleak date lurked in ambush, waiting to spring." (New Moon chapter one!)

BTW: If you find the quote and review anonymously, I can't send you a sneak preview! Sorry! In any case, to all of you who found it, Thanks:

Cam H

twilighter97

Edward is my homeboy

too easy

lovededwardalways

bestvampire

twiharder8

Lydiaa

ash and fire

Layla Lawliet

XVampWitchCatX

luv-me-sum-edward

mytwilightmenxXx

Stalle

blood broken hearted

slmCandle

and

dramione

And to all of you who reviewed without guessing the quote, thanks!

libbybelle

purple is my color

bitten-sln

mercedesfrk1121

lionandthelamb24

sowfire81

Miss Poison

Ratava100d

Angels and Airwaves

Emmett's Girl 47

CWJCPL

Savanria06

...baby.

x0xDrumMajorx0x

and

Pluto-nfl

I am not Stephenie Meyer!

Enjoy!

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Chapter Twenty-six

BPOV

My eighteenth birthday was the next day. Edward was coming over that night at nine to talk again. I was thinking about extending my stay at Charlie's to stay with Edward. He said that I should most definitely not do that and we would try the long distance relationship thing. I knew that most often failed. But if he wanted me out of Charlie's house that badly…I knew that in the end I would do whatever Edward wanted me to do.

Rosalie and Alice were coming over to my house the next day, on my actual birthday, at my request. I asked Charlie if I could have a small party to keep up appearances, and he had agreed. It was the first time that I had done anything social (that he was aware of) since the 'Christmas Dance' so of course he had to agree.

I hadn't told anyone but Edward that I was leaving at all. I certainly hadn't mentioned it around Charlie. Tomorrow night I would sneak out to possibly say one last goodbye to Edward and then hightail it to New York City. I would leave most of my things at Charlie's house. I didn't want those reminders of my past, anyway.

After dinner, at which I had loaded Charlie up with beer for the second time, I went down to open my blinds and window all the way. Edward was there, of course. He had been from the very moment that he had moved in. I loved him for it.

He was there and he had a small jewelry box with him. I should have known that he would get me something. He came through my window.

"Here Bells, happy birthday!"

"Thanks Edward. You're the best, you know that right?" I gave him a kiss on the lips. We'd never gone farther than a chaste kiss on the lips. He knew that I couldn't, it reminded me of Charlie, and I knew that I couldn't. He didn't care that I couldn't go forward, and although I felt guilty, since he didn't mind I didn't mind.

"Yeah, well, second best. You're the real best." I rolled my eyes and took the present from him.

I opened it to find a beautiful bracelet. It was a silver charm bracelet. On it were three small charms. One was a lion, one was a lamb and the third was a crystal heart. I smiled and felt tears coming to my eyes. We had discussed lions and lambs a few nights ago. Edward had said, "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." And I asked him what it meant. He told me: "The lion, a dangerous creature for anything to be around, like spending time with me is dangerous for you. And the lamb, a sweet gentle creature, never willing to hurt anyone or even stand up for itself, like you. It sort of represents our relationship…sort of."

I thought that when he said 'sort of' it meant that we didn't love each other. It was fine with me if he didn't love me, because I wasn't so keen on the idea of love. The only two people who had ever claimed to love me were Charlie and Renee. I hadn't heard from Renee in eleven years, and Charlie…well… Rosalie and Alice said that they loved me, and I loved them too, but that's a completely different kind of love.

I was so touched that he had remembered our conversation. I took the bracelet out of its box and had him put it on me because I couldn't move my right hand that minutely yet. "Wow," I said to Edward, "It's so beautiful, it's perfect. Thank you so much."

"Happy eighteenth!" he said, he was going on nineteen in a few months. I hadn't gotten him something this good for his eighteenth birthday. I had given him a few CDs that he said he'd wanted and a photo of us. He said it was the best present that he'd ever gotten. I knew otherwise, but I had smiled anyway.

"I love it Edward!"

"I'm glad, but we have some business to attend to."

"That's right!" I put the jewelry box down on my dresser and grabbed a small backpack from my closet. Edward was going to help me pack. He took some clothing out of my dresser and I told him what to put in the bag. I was packing three outfits for the ride to New York and he was helping me because my right hand still wasn't working all the way. That presented a small problem in the riding of the motorcycle, but I would manage. Edward had offered to drive me, but I had turned him down telling him that he couldn't be gone when I was. That would be very suspicious to Charlie, and then how would I get my motorcycle to New York?

I had never minded road trips.

I packed with my clothing the box for the bracelet that Edward had just given me and my cell phone. I also put in my high school yearbook where most people from school had signed but where Edward, Alice and Rosalie had each left page-long or more messages for me. Tucked into my yearbook went pictures of me and Edward, just Edward, Rosalie and Alice, Rosalie Alice and Edward, and all four of us. We had gone on a senior-class field trip one day to First Beach at La Push to look at the tide pools for biology. It had mostly turned into a fun day with everyone wandering around the beach and almost no one looking at the tide pools. The four of us had fun taking pictures of everyone, but mostly just us, with Rosalie's camera.

Also into my bag went a framed picture of my mother, and the teddy bear that I'd had since I was three. Tomorrow night I would stash my toiletries and such. I didn't have that many other personal possessions. Other than what I had already put in, I would have to find my volume of the Jane Austen collected works and my graduation certificate.

Edward and I sat in my room after that, talking. He said, "I'll really miss you. I wish I could come with you."

I responded, "Edward, you know that you can't, besides, I want you to go to college like your family is expecting!" Edward had been accepted to Dartmouth, so that was where he was going in a week. Rosalie was going to the University of Miami to join Emmett, and Alice was headed off to Berkley with Jasper. They were both already supposed to be gone, but had convinced their respective parents that they should stay for my 'party'. Rosalie figured that I would be leaving and she had filled Alice in on my departure. Only Edward knew where I was headed, though.

He sighed, "I know. Are you going to find a college to start next year?"

"I don't know." I said, "I'm concentrating more on finding a job in New York. You know where I'm headed, don't you?"

"I only know that you're going to New York."

"Here." I tore a page out of my printer and wrote down my new address for him. "I'll be here, and if you ever need to call me," I wrote down a ten digit number, "this is my new cell phone number. I've had the old one cancelled so that Charlie can't possibly find me."

"Smart."

I smiled briefly. Then we talked. We talked while he helped me exercise my hand like always. The familiar routine was comforting. I loved him all the more for sensing that this was what I needed now.

"You'll need to do this every night, do you hear me? If I call you and find out that you haven't been exercising your hand I will be very mad at you…so promise right now."

"I promise." I would have promised him anything.

Edward stayed all night; we both had heavy, dark circles under our eyes by morning. Only when I heard Charlie finally groaning awake and heading toward the shower, did he leave. I gave him one last hug and kiss before he went. It would be the last time, most likely, until Thanksgiving break when he promised to come find me for a week despite the fact that we weren't going to try the long distance relationship thing. I didn't want to tie him down. I was crying when I opened my window for him to climb out for the last time.

All was going well until he said three words. I didn't see it coming; if I had I would have shushed him so that I could live in my peaceful ignorant world for a little while longer. But my face was buried in his chest, because I was hugging him so tightly to my body.

He said, "I love you Bella."

I paused, the tears came faster now. I knew that I loved him, but I was the only one allowed to love between the two of us. If he loved me, what was there to keep him with me? If we loved each other, we could beat each other up or leave each other without notice. Love is just an excuse to do whatever you want to the person that you love.

"No, no you don't." I said, trying to make him understand. He seemed to get everything else about me, why not this?

"I do, Isabella Swan, I truly do."

I wailed, "No, Edward, you can't love me!"

"It's alright, just because you're leaving and I'm leaving, it doesn't mean that we can't love each other!"

I beat against his chest with my fists lightly. I could see that he wasn't going to back down, "I love you Edward, but you can't love me. Love is just an excuse…it's only an excuse. I love you too Edward. And now you have to go."

"I'll find you at Thanksgiving." He promised me, but I didn't want that. If he loved me, I didn't want him anywhere near me.

"No, Edward. You have to go forever. I can't see you anymore. I love you." I all but pushed him out the window.

I closed it as soon as I was sure that he was across the driveway. I shut the blinds, not wanting to see him again.

I collapsed on my bed, crying, chanting over and over to myself "I love you Edward, I love you."

I missed him already.

Alice and Rosalie came over at eleven in the morning. I didn't sleep at all that night. I fell asleep, finally, around seven in the morning. Charlie left before I woke, like he usually did.

They both came carrying gifts even though I had told them not to. I opened the gifts and found that Rosalie had given me a new copy of the Jane Austen collected works, unabridged. I smiled; she must have known that my book was lost. And Alice gave me a few new blouses and a pair of slacks, "for the job interviews." I loved my friends; they always seemed to know exactly what I needed. And at that moment, I needed to do something with my hands, so they suggested that we mix drinks and watch a movie.

Alice ran down to the movie store three blocks down and grabbed all three Pirates of the Caribbean movies. We then spent seven hours swooning over Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. I kept leaving to get another drink, pop some popcorn, or just have a little private cry in the kitchen. I was having a good time, of course, but I couldn't help but think of the one member of our party who was missing. And when Kiera Knightly and Orlando Bloom kissed, I had to go to the bathroom to calm down.

And then it was almost seven, the time when the menace comes home. I packed up the movies for my friends to return on their way out and let them look through my discards for anything that they wanted. They, between them, ended up taking almost everything. I was glad, that way I wouldn't have to throw out too much.

Then, while Rosalie was in the bathroom, Alice approached me. She said, "Bella, whatever you and my brother did last night is tearing him apart. He's usually in a good mood after he talked to you, but he hasn't said a word to any of us since nightfall last night. I don't think he slept either."

"Oh," I said, "We sort of…broke up, I guess."

"Really? You two were like peas in a pod… like, perfect for each other. The way that I was meant to be your friend, my twin was meant to be your husband. You were made for each other."

Her words weren't helping me; they were only reminding me that I had hurt him by kicking him out of my life. I had hurt me too, but my own personal well being was no matter. That's how it had always been. "Sorry Alice." I said.

She didn't accept, "This isn't about me," she had told me, "This is about Edward. You're hurting him, and that's downright mean."

Again, I was reminded of a conversation that I'd once had with Edward,

Are you making fun of me?

Uh, yeah I guess.

That's mean!

You're right, I'm sorry.

I was just kidding! I didn't really mean it!

Sorry.

I was done talking about Edward, "I'll figure something out, Alice." I could feel my face from the inside out. My face felt empty and cold.

"I know you will. Just try your hardest, Bella. You're a good person."

So I wasn't a good person if I didn't, nice.

Rosalie reentered the room, "So, now that we're both here, I want to know your address."

"Um, I don't have one yet, sorry," I lied; I didn't want them to know where I lived just yet. "But I did get a new cell number. I don't want Charlie to track me by my phone…here." I wrote it down two different times, one for each friend. Rosalie had to go, her mother was expecting her home for one last dinner before college, I hugged my friend goodbye, and tears welled up in my eyes. "Thanks for everything Rosalie, I'll see you around. Call me often, okay?"

"Sure, sure." She said, also trying not to let her tears flow over.

She got into her car and drove away, and Alice started to leave as well. I stopped her, "Alice," I said, "Alice, I gave your brother a copy of the address of an apartment that I was looking into. Would you please tell him that this morning, the owner called to tell me that he got a better offer and that I would have to start looking elsewhere. Tell him not to worry, I still have a month's rent paid, but tell him not to try and find me." It was a lie; I still had my old apartment.

Alice looked into my eyes, "Really?"

"No, I just stopped paying rent on my apartment and found a new one. I don't want him to find me." Only the first part was a lie.

"Why ever not?"

"Because he…it's a long story, but he said that he loved me and I can't take any more of that."

"I love you! If I backed off, would you take Edward back?"

"No, it's a completely different kind of love. Friendship and Relationship. I don't know how to explain this to you Alice, but I can't take anymore love. Love is just an excuse to hurt people, Alice. If you are loved, you are hurt. It's inevitable. But if…if he asks…could you remind him that I love him?"

"Sure, if he asks." Alice's tone was kinder now. I smiled, sort of, at her before letting her out the door, a more conventional exit than Edwar– I didn't allow myself to think about him. Ever. And so began my Hell on Earth.