Diamond Rose

Chapter 26

Scattered Emotions

Miku didn't know what had come over her. Kissing Lavi of all things. Actually kissing him. Of her own will. And as per expectations, they had carried on for several minutes before Lavi came to his senses and forced them to break apart.

So in a way, she was deeply thankful to him. In fact, she didn't blame him for anything. Of all the things he could have chosen to do, he chose to stop, and Miku couldn't help feeling a sense of gratitude and yet, it was tinged with deep regret. She couldn't understand it. She had vowed to herself to stay away. Lavi was not here permanently, all she would accomplish by being with him was hurting herself. Moreover, she knew that it would ultimately hurt Lavi too, and that was something she didn't want. And of course, Miku didn't believe in long-distance relationships. They didn't last. They never did. So in a way, she reasoned, she was being a total selfish bitch who was concerned about her own emotions, first and foremost. The nicer way of putting it, she mused, is that I'm afraid of getting hurt. Which was terribly cliché.

But it was true, so it sucked while being a terrible cliché.

She walked down the brightly-lit hallway, debating furiously with herself. Unfortunately, she didn't have many hallways to walk down, and didn't have the time to walk down them while debating furiously with herself. This fact was further accentuated when her manager texted her. Miku replied by walking faster to the elevator and jabbing the down button.

She had a rehearsal to get to and that incident was not going to stop them from giving a fantastic performance. She wasn't going to get paid very well otherwise, anyway.

Lavi wanted to punch himself, but he knew full well that he wouldn't do any effective damage, and the staff that surrounded him would probably grab him and call an ambulance in case he was suffering a severe mental illness. So he didn't, although he dearly wanted to for being such a fool. He couldn't understand it - why had Miku done that? And afterwards? The old him would have gotten angry, blamed her. But now, he closed his eyes, confusion clouding his senses. This Lavi would take it in his stride, grudgingly and painfully as he did. He didn't know how to get angry at Miku anymore anyway.

Hearing the door in the car open, he looked over to see Miku nodding to someone – probably her manager, before slipping inside. She looked at him – blue and green met – for a second, Lavi was expecting her to turn away, flush, something – an act of avoidance. But contrary to his expectations, and shockingly so, she moved closer to him – to the middle seat and then buckled her seat belt. Her voice was quiet – controlled, tinged with hesitance. "About back there ... I made a mistake."

That was exactly what Lavi didn't want to hear. He knew that she truly believed so, and he could understand – in fact, he should have supported her belief. But he wished that it hadn't been a mistake. It just wasn't right. Mistakes weren't supposed to feel so good. Despite these mutinous thoughts, he closed his eyes for a second, before turning to her, smiling gently. "I know."

That day just wasn't going right.

Ayumu found himself in Lulu Bell's office again. This time though, he had a decision. He knew what he was going to do – knew the consequences. As he stared down at the manilla folder – containing the finer details and final contract, he felt a sense of unease pass over him. But then he thought of his sister. He was helping her. This was the least he could do. He took a breath, forcing himself to stay calm as he looked up at Lulu Bell. "Run me through."

He nearly scowled at the sight of her smirk. How he hated the sight of her now.

Sorane was on set again. She cast her eyes over the gigantic schedule board, displaying a huge calender, with today's date circled: 28.10. Currently, things seemed to be going along according to the schedule Marian had set down. So it seemed that everyone working on set was going to spared of a flaming. With her work concerns settled for the moment, she tried to relax in the stupid waitress outfit (Himawari's friend worked in a supposedly haunted café). Inevitably, her thoughts wandered over to that song, Kuon no Kawa.

It unnerved her now that she recalled it. It had been a fantastic performance by Miku, but she didn't know why it had left such a huge impression on her. She frowned, failing to understand the mental significance it had. That sorrow that had been communicated through the song was beyond the norm, yet she had never heard Miku sound like that ever before, and never after.

It was a mystery, but for some reason, it was one that she wanted to figure out. And it was about Miku, no less.

It seemed that she was making progress. Unconsciously and unknown to anyone else. In fact, Sorane herself didn't know it yet. But the progress was there, and she was starting down a road she had never treaded.

Miku felt, against her expectations, good, amazing, even. She had always looked forward to her live performances, treasured those opportunities. And now, beneath the huge studio lights, singing into the ever-so-familiar microphone to a packed audience? It felt amazing. Some were here for different artists, but her fans were there. That support was an all-important and beautiful one, and brought her an never-before-seen energy. She didn't need to dance all that much, so she could use her voice to their maximum capabilities. When had she felt so good singing a love song?

"Every moment spent with you, is a treasure,"

She turned to the side, to see Lavi, singing beside her. She had grown so used to his presence now – so acquainted to it, that singing alone on the stage left her with a slightly empty feeling. Hearing her voice alone was bearable, but it didn't give her the same feeling of satisfaction. Hearing herself hit the right notes, carry them flawlessly was fantastic, yes, but hearing their voices together, his lower, her's higher. They just fit so much better – in her view, two voices, perfectly harmonised gave a song so much more depth.

"Even so, I know I can bear to let go,"

As she sang that last verse, Miku felt the smile on her face, begin to fray. No. She could not do such a thing. Lavi was deeply important to her. If he were not important in the romantic sense, he was the best friend that she had. He listened to her and considered her emotions, gave her space when she needed it. He even made her music sound complete. How on earth was she supposed to let go?

"I can find another way, a new start,"

Miku questioned that. Could she really? She didn't feel that she had the necessary confidence, she was tentative – ridiculously so at times. But she couldn't deny some kind of fearlessness she had when it came to some things. Did she want a new start? Yes, it was that idea of wanting, wishing. She had already gotten a new start – twice in fact. Did she need or want another one? Was their fragile relationship beyond repair? Was it now, wrong to want him in the romantic sense?

"It's okay if you forget about me,

I'll be reborn into your memories,

A rosebud, ready to spring into full bloom …"

Ayumu just stared at his hand. It was reality – he couldn't possibly deny that he had just signed a contract. A contract with Flight Records, and the talent agency that he was to be training under was managed by the overarching branch, Rainbow Star. The talent agency was none other than, Brightlight. He didn't want to go. He felt weird enough, in this storm, this unfriendly world. Why did he have to go to the place that was hugely responsible for his years without a sister? Why?

To protect that sister of his.

He stood, taking the documents from Lulu Bell silently. He then stood, and turned his back on her, leaving the room. And insolent as it was, slammed the door behind him. He knew Lulu wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, and he knew that he couldn't possibly get into any trouble if she didn't. It seemed like an okay idea, blowing all his pent-up rage and hatred. It was stupid, childish, yes, but there was no other way.

He couldn't tell Miku – no. He had even requested that his new contract was kept secret – that he wouldn't be listed on the official Flight Records artist list until he debuted. He knew how Miku would react. She needed time to recuperate, and this news wasn't going to help.

As he stabbed the down button for the elevator, he heard a familiar voice. He turned around, eyes widening. Shit. It was Allen Walker. He had forgotten about him. The elevator came to save him two seconds later, and he bolted inside.

But Allen was in good shape for someone who only sat around writing music and eating for work. He had sprinted to the elevator, stuck his arm out, causing the elevator doors to hiss open again, allowing him in. He frowned as he stepped in, Clearly, concerned with why he was hear at all. "What are you doing here?"

Ayumu was screwed. It was obvious that he wouldn't have been permitted to enter the building had he not had any direct dealings with someone in the company. It seemed that truth was the only option. He simply couldn't believe that his plans were getting ruined already. He sighed, as the doors closed with a short hiss, and they started travelling down the building. "I've been signed into this label."

"No."

The blue eyes were glaring. They most definitely were. "Yes. And I didn't have a choice."

"Really?"

"They said they'd cut Miku if I refused."

"So you really didn't have a choice."

Scattered remains of perfection,

Thrown into a storm,

It was not meant to be that way,

But it was.