Title: Incommunicado
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Tony spends a Friday night by himself.
-------------------- Incommunicado ---------------------
From the window of his apartment, Tony had a clear view of the street front. Snow blanketed the sidewalks, cars and everything else, but despite the bitter cold couples were out and about, making their way to the nearby cafés, bars and neighborhood restaurants. The weather wasn't putting a damper on their evening plans.
Sighing as he watched a young man pull his girlfriend close and give her a long kiss after they exited the café across the street, Tony forlornly considered what he had planned for the evening.
Nothing.
It was a Friday night. And he was home alone with no one to talk to, nothing to do.
Flopping down on the couch in his dark, quiet apartment, Tony thought of Ziva and how desperately he wished she were with him. He wanted to call her, to surprise her by making his way through the snow to her place, to just hear her voice or feel her touch -- but it wouldn't happen. Not this night. Because Tony wouldn't be picking up the phone. He wouldn't go to Ziva's apartment. Instead, thinking that they'd been spending perhaps a little too much time together lately, he'd play it cool and keep his distance this weekend by staying out of reach, not calling Ziva or taking her calls, not seeing her until work on Monday morning.
This was how he kept from fully committing to her. It was his way of maintaining the image of the Tony DiNozzo who wasn't interested in true love or soulmates or marriage or children. Forced distance. Self-imposed solitude.
Tony turned over on the couch, misery and loneliness eating at him. He closed his eyes against the harshness of feeling so completely alone, so desperate to be wanted and told that he was loved, truly, by Ziva. Why do I have to love her so damn much? Tony thought bitterly, swallowing hard. I bet she's not even thinking about me most of the time. And Ziva was always on his mind. Always. He woke up thinking of her and went to bed nights dreaming of her. It's not fair, Tony thought, when one person's more in love than the other person is.
He secretly hoped the phone would ring, that he'd pick up to hear Ziva's voice on the line, but knew it wouldn't happen. The odds were, she was hoping for the same thing from him on her end.
But there was a message that had to be silently sent.
And on this night, at least, Tony couldn't be the one to break first.