I do not own Avatar or any of its characters.
Truth and Confidence
Katara tried to busy herself around camp, but it was of no use. Her anxiety from the previous day had not gone away. As the sun reached the midpoint of the sky and Zuko was still gone she felt genuine panic set in. Where could he be she wondered and why hadn't he returned yet. None of his chakras had taken this long to open before, and she feared that something had gone terribly wrong.
Iroh had tried to reassure her last night that Zuko was in very capable hands with Guru Pathik, and that the old man would let nothing happen to him. Still she noticed that this morning even the retired general seemed a little unnerved. In fact the three of them ate breakfast in an awkward silence. None of them seemed rested from the previous night's sleep, and all of them seemed a little preoccupied.
None the less Iroh and Aang had gone off to train claiming that hard work would help them clear there minds. That left Katara alone to worry more about the prince. She tried to busy herself with chores, but there wasn't really much to do. Nothing seemed to distract her from the fears building inside of her.
Zuko had left early yesterday morning before she had woken up. She had wished that she could have seen him before he had left. There was so much that she wanted to say to him, but was unable to the previous night when he had returned from his talk with Aang. She was amazed at how the two seemed to mend their fences so quickly, but more so was relieved that she had made the right choice in trusting Zuko to go after her friend.
When the two had returned to camp she took one look at Aang and realized that she couldn't stay angry at him because of his earlier outburst. She had simply opened her arms and welcomed her friend back to camp. Aang embraced her and apologized for what he had said, but she had already forgiven him. As she hugged him in return she lifted her eyes to Zuko and smiled. Silently she mouthed the words 'thank you' to him. He gave her a shy smile and a simple nod and then went to sit with his uncle.
That was the extent of their conversation that evening, and after the afternoon that they had shared she was still feeling confused by her emotions. She was stunned by her sudden attraction to him. The fact that they had both let down their guards and become friends was comforting, but this mounting desire to be more than friends was a little unsettling. As her enemy she had never looked at him in quite that way, but now that they had resolved their differences she was noticing more and more just how attracted she was to him. And she found that this attraction went deeper than how he looked; it was the man he was becoming that held her spellbound. She never would have guessed that Zuko was such a complex person; he had always seemed so single-minded in his need to capture Aang. But the more he struggled to open these chakras the more insight she gained.
She could see him now as so much more than she had ever imagined, and in a way that terrified her. She knew she was losing her heart to him. She couldn't deny how much she cared for him, but she had also cared for Aang, and in the end Aang had had to turn away from his feelings for her in order to open the last chakra. What if Zuko had to do the same thing? What if in the end she lost him? Opening her heart to him had not been easy, but now the thought that she would lose him both scared her and infuriated her.
It didn't seem fair. Zuko had grown so much, and now, after all that they had been through she may have to lose him because of some cosmic payback. How was that finding balance? How was that bringing about a deeper understanding of self? If you weren't free to love then what good was being free? In a way she wished they had never come here. She found herself resenting this place, and more so Guru Pathik for taking away from her the people she loved. Hadn't she lost enough already? Weren't her mother's death and her separation from her family a high enough price to pay? Why did the universe demand more? Her frustration gave way to tears. She couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't lose one more person that she loved.
Suddenly from behind her she heard the sound of someone approaching camp. Her heart began to beat fast as she turned to face who ever was approaching. As she looked up she saw to her relief that it was Zuko. He looked exhausted, but there was something else; a confidence that she had never seen before.
He smiled at her and simply called her name. That was all it took. All her questions, all her fears were pushed aside as she found herself running to him. He barely had time to open his arms and catch her as she barreled into him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face into his chest. He held her loosely at first, but then she felt his grip grow strong as well.
She stood there caught in his embrace, crying in earnest. He in return stood silent until at last she found her voice. "I was so worried about you. Why were you gone so long?"
"Katara, the sun is barely midway in the sky. It hasn't been that long."
Pulling back slightly, she looked into his eyes and said, "You left yesterday morning Zuko."
His eyes widened slightly at her information. "I've been gone for almost two days?"
She nodded her head and then said, "Your uncle tried to reassure me that you were ok; after all you didn't return from opening the Fire Chakra until late into the evening. But after last night, after the dream I had, I found even that explanation lost its strength."
"What dream?" he asked.
She hesitated for a moment. The dream had been so odd and in a way very personal. Telling him about it in too much detail would be too much like admitting her new feelings for him. Choosing her words carefully she said, "I dreamed that we were back at the Spirit Oasis in the North Pole. You were sick Zuko. You had a fever almost as bad as after I first healed you, but this fever was different. It was like it was purifying you; somehow preparing you to face whatever it was you had to do."
She felt him stiffen slightly at her explanation. His face took on an odd expression, and he took in a deep breath. Bringing her hand to his heart she asked, "Zuko, what is it? What's wrong?"
He reached up and grasped her hand and said, "You were there..."
He grew silent again. "Zuko," she said feeling a slight panic set in, "What are you talking about?"
He shook his head as to clear his thoughts and then said, "When I opened the last chakra I suffered through an intense fever. As the fever progressed I had many visions, or so I thought they were visions... now I'm not so sure."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
His eyes took on a distant look as he explained, "In these visions I saw many different people; Aang, my uncle, Azula, and... you. Katara you were there."
"But how could that be? I was asleep?"
"You may have been asleep, but somehow you were able to enter into my visions." He moved his hand from her own, and brought it up to cup the side of her face. Staring at her intently he said, "Katara, the words you spoke to me and the encouragement you gave me kept me from succumbing to the despair that overwhelmed me as I progressed through the chakra. I don't think I would have opened it without you."
At his words she felt a numbness start to creep throughout her body. Dreaming that he had been in trouble was one thing, but to actually have been there with him was another thing altogether. In a small voice she said, "In my dream I told you to stay awake... to fight the urge to sleep... but you were afraid. Zuko you were so scared."
"I didn't want you to leave me. Do you remember that?"
She nodded her head, and then letting go of her previous fears said, "I told you that I would never leave you. That I would be here waiting for you when you were done."
He looked at her and smiled weakly, "After I opened the chakra I wondered if it was all in my head. That maybe I was just imagining what I wanted to hear..."
She returned his smile and said honestly, "Zuko whether or not it was a dream or a vision, I meant every word that I said."
At that his smile faded and his eyes took on a look that she had never seen before. Bringing his face closer to hers he whispered, "So many things have changed since we got here; how I see the world... how I see you... how I feel about you..."
Following some unknown impulse, she leaned forward. Not waiting for him to finish she brought her lips to his. The kiss was gentle and brief, and as she pulled back she could feel the embarrassment at her boldness bring a flush to her cheeks. Looking down she said, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. Normally I'm not so..."
Moving his hand to under her chin he lifted her face level to his and then returned the kiss. The gentleness of the first kiss was replaced by a passion that left her breathless. As he released her she looked into his eyes, stilled a little dazed, and finished what she had started, "bold."
He smiled and then pulled her in closer in an embrace. With her head lying against his chest, he stroked her back absently. She could hear his heat beat, still racing from their earlier contact. Closing her eyes she listened to the rhythm finding it oddly soothing.
After a few moments he spoke. "I didn't know quite what to expect when I came back to camp. When I left to go with the guru I was so torn up inside, and after opening the chakras I felt more at ease." He paused a moment before continuing. "I'm just glad they're over. I have never wanted to finish something as much as I wanted to open those chakras."
She raised her head, pushed back slightly, and stared at him. "You mean you opened all the chakras? You finished the last one?"
His smile grew wide and he said, "Once I opened the light chakra I found that I didn't want to wait to move on."
She felt herself grow cold at his revelation. Her fears from earlier flooded her with doubts. Involuntarily she shuddered. Moving his hands from her back to her arms he began to rub vigorously in an effort to warm her up. "Are you ok? You're shaking." He asked.
"It's just that I thought I had more time." She said without thought.
"More time?"
Feeling awkward she broke his gaze. Looking down she said, "It's just that I thought you were only going to open the sixth chakra. I thought that we still had time to... well to get closer... I mean we've just gotten to be friends and I didn't want to have to... to say... goodbye."
"Katara look at me." He said with a slight edge of authority to his voice.
Looking up she felt completely foolish. She was so tongue tied over how to explain her feelings. "I must sound like an idiot." She said in a whisper.
Smiling slightly he said, "You don't sound like an idiot."
Needing to explain herself she said, "It's just that when Aang opened the last chakra he had to give up his..." she paused and then continued, "He gave up his affections for me. And even though we weren't involved that way, it still hurt to have to let him go. I didn't want to have to do that again."
"Neither did I." he replied softly.
"What?"
"When I went to open the Crown Chakra I thought that I would just move through it quickly, but as I tried to clear my thoughts I found that I was blocked. I couldn't even begin to open it."
"But why?" she asked.
"The previous night, when I talked to Aang, he told me about the last chakra and what he had to do to open it. The more I thought about it the more I began to fear that maybe the same would be asked of me." It was his turn to look away, and she stood shocked by what he had confided to her. Looking back at her he said, "I couldn't begin to open it because I wasn't prepared to let go of my relationship with you."
Smiling she replied, "You were afraid of losing me?"
He blushed slightly and whispered, "It's just that everyone that I've ever cared about has been taken from me..."
He grew silent and she knew that confiding in her like this was so hard for him. Leaning up she gave him a quick kiss and said, "I promise not to leave you if you promise not to leave me."
She caught a glimpse of his smile before he embraced her once again. They stayed like that for some time before he said, "So much has changed since I started to open these chakras."
"You've changed." She said softly.
She could feel a rumble in his chest as he chuckled slightly. Pulling back he smiled and said, "So have you."
She gave him a look, but she knew that he was right. Every time he opened a chakra she had found herself benefiting from what he had experienced. She had been forced to look beyond her fears and misgivings about him, and though it had been hard at times she had grown. She had in fact changed.
Suddenly feeling a little awkward at the direction of their conversation she said teasingly, "So Mr. Enlightened, do you now know what it is that you have to do?"
"As a matter of fact I do." He stated.
After a moment of silence she said, "Well?"
He grinned and said, "I need to find Aang. After all this time I was right. He is the key to fulfilling my destiny, but not in the way I had always imagined."
"Care to elaborate?"
He grew a little more serious and replied, "It was in opening the last chakra that I realized what I had to do. All this time I was worried that I would have to give up a thing or a person, but in reality it was more than that. My pride was holding me back. For so long I saw myself as better than everyone else. I felt that I somehow deserved more. But I was wrong. All my arrogance was doing was holding me back. By letting it go I was able to see my true path."
"But what is your true path?' she prompted.
"Humility; you said it yourself Katara. During my vision you said that humility was the key and you were right. My role in this war is not as the person in charge. This is about Aang and his destiny. By following him and helping in the battle against my father, I will be doing my part to see him fulfill his mission. For too long there has been a rift between the Fire Nation and The Avatar, and I intend to change that today."
She looked at him with amazement. She would have never believed such change possible in one person. To hear him talk like this was almost surreal. But the passion in his voice made her know that it was the truth. Now all that was left was to find Aang and begin the next part of this journey.
Taking his hand in hers, she squeezed it tightly and said, "Then let's go."
A.N. Sorry for the delay. This chapter was harder to write than I thought it would be. The start of the new season set me back, my approaching labor is weighing on me, and now I've got a cold (I know I'm whining - my apologies). My brain is fried but I really didn't want to compromise this chapter and I didn't want to rush it.
I was afraid that it would go from fluff to mush, but quite frankly if lines like You look beautiful when you hate the world are written in the series, I don't feel so bad. And yes this Maiko thing is driving me nuts. Of course not as much as Zuko's behavior.
Enough ranting. I hope to start on the next chapter soon. It is the climax of the story and I really want it to flow just as I have envisioned it for months now. I am a little anxious about it, but hopefully it will compliment the story, not ruin it.
Thank you again to all who have reviewed. I appreciate all your imput. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.
