A/N: First of all, let me apologize for taking forever to post this chapter. What can I say...life got in the way. First of all, I had a hard time writing this chapter and I'm not really sure why. I had a house full of company for Thanksgiving, my daughter's birthday was the week after Thanksgiving, my husband left for Italy the day after her birthday, and work has been kicking my ass. Once I actually had some time to sit down and write, I couldn't stop, so this is a long chapter.
I still don't think it's that great and I haven't had a chance to proof read it a million times so I apologize for any errors, but I wanted to go ahead and post it so I could move on to the next chapter.
lms442...Sorry this wasn't up on Sunday like I hoped...but better late than never. Don't give up on me.
Hope you all enjoy!!!!
Chapter 26: Happy Birthday
EPOV
"Damn son, I never thought you'd actually take me seriously enough to talk to Bella."
Jasper and I were meeting Bella for lunch since Alice had a last minute meeting with her advisor. I was telling Jasper that Bella was in but hadn't told him about the events of the morning yet.
"Well Jasper, it was much easier to bring up the topic seeing as how she went completely territorial on Jessica this morning." I laughed remembering the look on Jessica's face when Bella sat in my lap.
"What do you mean?"
"I was waiting for Bella this morning at the coffee shop and the she devil herself appeared and sat down and tried to talk to me....AGAIN. I swear she is the dumbest person I know. How many times do I have to tell her to leave me the fuck alone? Anyhow, after a few minutes of trying to get Jessica to leave, she reached over and grabbed my hand. I swear I almost hit a woman, but Bella saved the day. I looked up and saw her watching us and for a second I thought she was going to run away, but she got this look of determination in her eyes and she surprised the hell out of me."
"Oh this sounds good." Jasper stated making me feel like a gossiping old woman.
"It was good. She marched right over to us...did I mention how hot she looked. Hey, I can say a friend looks hot. I'm sure you'll agree after you see her." I said in response to that damn smirk Jasper was wearing.
"As I was saying...she marched right over to the table, completely ignoring Jessica, sat right in my lap and planted a kiss right on my neck. I thought Jessica was going to have a coronary, hell I almost had one. She started coughing to get our attention, but damn, I couldn't speak. She had shocked me into silence. So Bella introduced herself and then blew Jessica off, calling her my study partner. Of course Jessica flipped out and tried to make it sound like she and I were something more. When Bella heard me finally say Jessica's name, she went off on her telling her she knew exactly who she was and that she was pathetic and even said that she'd never have me again. Man, she looked like a ferocious tiger. I'll admit it, she was sexy as hell."
Jasper couldn't hold in his laughter anymore.
"Our shy little Bella did that?"
"Man, I'm not even finished. Jessica actually called me Eddie and referred to Bella as being just my friend. Apparently that didn't sit well with Bella because she said, and I quote.... 'I'm not just his friend...and I'm the only one that is allowed to call him Eddie' before pulling me out of the chair, calling me babe, and completely dismissing Jessica. It was priceless."
And it was. I was in awe of my beautiful, sexy as hell, fierce friend this morning. I just hope she didn't feel how much she affected me while sitting on my lap. Damn it Edward...just friends. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Shut up. There goes the inner monologue again.
We met Bella for lunch and when Jasper saw her, he gave me a slight nod, acknowledging that she did indeed look hot. I smirked at him. She did a great job at keeping the girls away from Jasper...guess the pixie assigned her to bodyguard duty. After briefly discussing the current situation with Jessica, conversation was light, just talking about random everydayness. I attempted to pay attention in my afternoon class but that proved to be very difficult. All I could think about was the way Bella handled the situation this morning. I just hope Jessica doesn't decide to target her in some way.
That night we all met at the girls place for supper. It was taco night. Good thing Bella likes to cook because it takes a lot to feed this crew. I was actually getting excited about the weekend. Alice still hadn't told me the details of Bella's birthday but if I knew my sister, it would be a weekend we wouldn't soon forget. I just hope Bella likes the birthday present, well presents, that I bought for her. And there she is again, invading my near constant thoughts. Maybe everyone was right. Are Bella and I trying so hard to be 'just friends' that we are missing what everyone else sees? That's a huge possibility.
Jasper pulled me out of my thoughts as we were walking back to the dorm.
"Edward...is everything okay?"
"Sorry man, just lost in my thoughts."
"Bella?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"Pretty much." He grinned.
"Look Edward, I know you say the two of you are just friends, but I think you two are kidding yourselves."
I had to laugh.
"That's actually what I was just thinking about. I was throwing around that idea that we are trying so hard to 'just be friends' that we are missing what all of our friends are claiming to see."
"I think we are having a breakthrough...."
"I'm serious. Okay, so I admit, I could definitely be more than friends and I know I want to be, but I'm....I'm....fuck it, I'm scared...okay."
"What are you scared of? I know what you faced in the past, but you have to know, Bella isn't like that. Anyone can see that she'd never be that type of person."
"Well I never thought Jessica would be either, but it's more than that. I know something really fucked up happened to her. And this is probably selfish on my part and also the pot calling the kettle, but until I know what happened, I don't want to push anything. Plus, before I ever get into another relationship, I have to be completely honest about my past and the issues it has caused for me. Right now I just feel like both Bella and I could use a friend and nothing more. Does that make sense?"
"Total sense. You shouldn't pursue something until you are one hundred percent certain that it is the right thing for you."
"I'm just really enjoying being around her and I don't want to screw that up right now by thinking with the wrong part of my anatomy."
"Leave it to the med student to get all technical instead of just saying dick." Jasper laughed, successfully lightening the mood.
"So I guess we are all booked up for the weekend...Has Alice told you what the plans are?"
"Yep, and before you ask, I value my...dick way too much to tell you. She is convinced you'd spill to Bella and we all know all she would have to say is please and you'd tell her anything. Just be where Alice tells you, at the time she tells you, wearing what she has already picked out for you."
He knew my sister well.
BPOV
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to our bitch...Happy Birthday to you!!!!"
And so it begins. Of course the change of lyrics actually made me laugh at....what the hell.
"Girls, what the fuck???? Seriously, was it really necessary to get me up this early?"
Alice, Angela, and Rose all jumped on my bed and fell on top of me.
"Of course it is. We have to get you ready and then the surprises begin. Plus, you promised not to complain so just go with it." Alice stated with a gleam in her eye. She had me there.
"Fine. What do I need to do first?"
"Go take your shower and then we'll take care of the rest."
Stepping in the shower, I froze. I'm turning 20 today...and Elizabeth will never will. This is something that I think about every birthday, holiday, and milestone occasion. I can feel the tightening of my chest and the tears start to flow. Not today, I say to myself. I know I need to get myself under control but nothing is working, so I suck it up and yell for Alice.
"Come on Bella, you promised no com...." she stopped as soon as she saw the look on my face.
"Sweetie, what's wrong? Rose, bring me a bottle of water! Bella...I want you to take deep breaths, here give me your hand."
She took my hand and placed it on her chest so I could feel the rhythm of her breathing. Only then did it dawn on me that I was butt naked.
"Oh fun, want to make it a threesome. Try something new on your birthday?" Rose looked at us and winked.
That did it. I burst out laughing. Rose handed the bottle of water to me before walking out of the bathroom.
"Are you okay? Do I need to shower with you?" Alice was completely serious, which only made me laugh more.
"No, I'm okay, I promise. I swear, Emmett is severely rubbing off on her."
"Bella..."
"Really, Alice. I'm fine now. We'll talk about it when I get out."
"Okay, but I'm going to sit by the door in case you need me."
Once she walked out, I adjusted the temperature of the water and stepped in. I chastised myself, knowing this happens every time I have those thoughts. This one wasn't nearly as bad as they have been in the past though. Usually I just make myself work through them, but having Alice there and then Rosalie, well I guess I'm learning that letting others in doesn't make me weak.
After washing, conditioning, and shaving all important parts, I hopped out of the shower and threw on a nice fluffy robe and slippers that Alice bought for me. I felt like I was wrapped up in a cloud. I could seriously fall asleep in this thing.
"All better?" Rose asked as we walked into the room.
"Yeah. Sorry about that. Side effects." I said as I forced a small smile.
"Well the next time you decide to invite these two to join you in the shower, I better damn well get an invite as well." Angela said with a grin, causing me to nearly fall off the chair Alice had forced me into.
"You guys are awesome. Again, sorry about that. I always have a hard time during birthdays, holidays, well any occasion that is important in a person's life. Elizabeth will never get to experience her 20th birthday. It makes me feel terribly guilty. But before you say anything, I know I can't blame myself. But that doesn't mean I can't be sad for the life my friend lost and the time that her friends and family will miss out on."
They all nodded with tears hovering at the corners of their eyes. My own tears were about to fall when my phone chirped. I recognized the ring tone immediately...and smiled. 'Take Another Little Piece of My Heart' rang out.
"Hey mom."
"Happy Birthday baby girl!!! I didn't wake you up did I?"
"Oh no, trust me...Alice, Rosalie, and Angela beat you to that. They thought a Bella sandwich was the way to go this morning...I've already had a shower and now dress up begins."
She laughed, knowing my friends all too well for someone who has never met them.
"Well sweetie, Phil and I wish we were there. We miss you so much baby. I just wanted to talk to you this morning and to also tell you that you're birthday present should be there sometime today."
"I miss you guys too mom. Maybe you and Phil can get away for a long weekend sometime."
"We'll check our calendars. Well baby, you go have lots of fun today. I miss you and love you bunches."
"Love you too mom. Bye."
I missed my mom dearly and I knew she missed me, but I just couldn't make myself plan any trips to Phoenix. I wasn't ready for that. I've been doing so well and just don't want any setbacks.
Before I could say anything, my phone rang again.
"So it begins...." I stated. But this time everyone in the room was laughing.
"Really...'I Shot the Sheriff', that's some crazy shit Bella." Rose was shaking her head at me.
I smiled as I answered the phone.
"Hey dad!!!"
That phone call went just like the one with my mom. After the brief talk with my dad, Alice got to work...well they all got to work. Angela was working on drying my hair, while Alice and Rose were going through my closet, picking out 'the perfect outfit' for me.
"So why are we up so early? I mean, after you have me all fixed up, we'll still have a lot of time before any of our classes."
"We're taking you to breakfast this morning...don't get excited, we only have time to hit the cafeteria, but hey, it's the thought that counts." Alice laughed.
I heard squealing behind me, letting me know that the perfect outfit had indeed been found. I didn't even turn around to look...I was a little bit scared. Alice decided I needed to wear my hair down with lose curls. Rose started on my make up while Alice was finishing up my hair. Angela was picking out the accessories.
I was glad that my make up was kept light. I didn't need blush, since that was a natural occurrence for me. My eyes had a silver shimmery look to them, but not too much for the daytime. Alice started jumping up and down, letting me know it was time to get dressed. The outfit was actually pretty perfect even if it was intimidating. I was really learning to live a little and not be so self conscious. On my bed was one of the tiniest denim miniskirts I had ever seen. I don't even remember buying it. It was paired with a tight long sleeved white shirt. There were a pair of white tights beside the skirt and the most awesome pair of grey boots I'd ever seen. When I put them on, my feet literally sighed, which surprised me, since they actually had a heel on them. It's not that I can't' walk in heels, but they aren't typically comfortable.
"Alice, where did you get these boots?"
"Oh, they are just something I had lying around...."
"Bullshit, we don't wear the same size and if you are in the habit of buying stuff that doesn't fit you, then you really have an addiction."
"Okay, you caught us. This is your first birthday present from the girls."
It was at that moment that I noticed what kind of shoes they were.
"Jimmy Choo's!!!! This better be the ONLY birthday present. My god, this is way too much!!!"
"Just enjoy, Bella. Oh, here, put this on. It's cool out today."
She handed me a grey short sleeved sweater/coat thingy that only had two buttons at the top. It flared open in the front, hitting my legs at around the same spot the skirt did. Angela walked over handing me a pair of silver dangly earrings and bangle bracelets. No necklace this time.
"Finished...and perfect." Alice said happily. She spun me around to the full length mirror and I gasped. I had to admit, I looked really nice.
"Wow, you three sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself." I smiled.
"Jeez Bella, it's not like we didn't have a great canvas to start off with. You're gorgeous without our help; we only enhanced what you naturally have." Rose huffed feigning agitation. But then she smiled and winked at me.
"Come on, breakfast awaits." Angela reminded us.
I grabbed my messenger bag and started out the door when I heard Alice shriek.
"Bella, put that hideous bag down...matter of fact...throw it away."
"Well dear Alice, what would you have me carry my books in?"
"This of course." She giggled as she went to her closet and pulled out a gift bag.
I took it hesitantly from her while giving her the stink eye.
"Alice, no more presents. You've already given me enough."
"Just open it."
Once again I was shocked, angry, and excited. I pulled out an awesome Prada messenger bag. I was angry because she had already spent a fortune on me and I had a feeling that more presents were coming, but I was excited because I really loved the bag.
"Alice, this is too much. But thank you so much!!! I LOVE it!!!"
"Pffff...I bought it just as much for me as you. I can't take another day of looking at that fugly bag." She grimaced and then smiled at me. "Plus Edward chipped in." She smiled.
I quickly swapped my stuff and we all headed to the cafeteria. I got a wonderful surprise when all the guys were waiting for us. Choruses of Happy Birthday rang out from them, but of course Jake and Em made it a contest to see who could yell it the loudest and embarrass me the most. They decided to add wolf whistles in between the happy birthdays. I caught Edward's eye and noticed he hadn't taken his eyes off me. This caused me to blush even more.
All the guys passed me around for hugs and birthday wishes. When it was Edward's turn, he held on a little longer than the others.
"You look beautiful today, Bella." And I swear I heard him inhale...like he was sniffing me.
"Thank you, oh and thanks for the bag. I really do love it." I said as I blushed again.
We all headed into the cafeteria and loaded up our trays with food. No one would open their lips about any of the plans for tonight or the weekend. After breakfast, I told everyone bye and started towards my class. Edward caught up with me and insisted he escort me. I didn't object. I even tried to pry out of him what we were going to do, but Alice covered her bases well...she hadn't told him much more than she'd told me. We were talking about our composition when I noticed someone glaring at us. Edward hadn't seen her yet.
"Edward..." I said, barely moving my lips. "We have an audience."
He knew exactly what I meant. He didn't even look around instead he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. We continued this way for the few steps it took us to reach the door of the building. He spun me towards him and wrapped his arms around me tightly, looking me in the eye, asking me silently if this was okay. I nodded.
He bent down and placed a feather light kiss on my lips. I thought my heart would explode. His lips lingered and I wanted to continue kisses those lips, but was pulled out of the moment by wolf calls....Jacob.
"Jake...don't you have class?" I asked annoyed.
"I'm supposed to, but the professor had a family emergency and canceled the class."
He gave Edward and I a wink before continuing. He, like the rest of our friends, knew what we were up to.
"So where is she?" And I could have sworn I heard him mumble…"or did you two finally wise up." But I ignored that.
I pointed her out to him in a way that no one would notice. He nonchalantly turned around and quickly mumbled.
"Shit, she looks pissed. Bells, how long is this class?"
"I'm just turning in an assignment today. So not long. Why?"
"I'm going to wait for you out here. I don't trust her. She is fucking glaring at you."
"I like that idea Jake. I'd wait for her, but I have an appointment with my advisor in ten minutes." Edward said.
After a quick goodbye, Edward took off and Jake walked in the building with me.
"So...." he started.
"Shut it Jake. You know what the deal is so leave it alone."
"Whatever you say Bells." He winked.
The rest of the day went by pretty slowly. Billy called to wish me a happy birthday and we had a nice conversation. I got choked up when he told me how much he missed me and Jake and that I was the daughter he never had. I was determined right then and there that Billy would be moving back to Washington. He was too far away.
I was just getting back to my room when my phone rang again. 'I'll be there for you' started playing, and as much as it hurt…I didn't answer the phone. It was Katie. Although thinking of her on birthdays, holidays, and special occasions wasn't as painful as thinking of Elizabeth…it still hurt. I couldn't help but think of all the things she would miss out on because of her disability. She never saw it that way, and most of the time I didn't either, but the fact that she would never walk again, well that was always hard to take. I knew I needed to talk to her, but the selfish part of me decided to call her back later. I was having such a good day and no matter how much I missed Katie and really wanted to talk to her, I just didn't have the courage to answer the call.
A few minutes later my phone chimed letting me know I had a new voicemail. I decided to listen to it.
"Happy Birthday Bella!!! I miss you so much. I wish I were there with you to celebrate today. Jake told me about what your friends have planned for you…and I have to say, I'm quite jealous. I would really love to meet the gang that you two talk so much about. I know you are probably ignoring my phone calls because you irrationally feel guilty, but I forgive you silly girl and there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. Just promise to call me sometime this weekend and let me know how it all went. Oh and don't think you're going to get out of telling me about a certain someone named Edward…yes Jake has a big mouth. He's just as bad as old ladies when it comes to gossiping. Of course…he is pretty tight lipped when it comes to Angela, so I'm leaving it up to you to fill me in. I love you so much Bella. I hope you have a wonderful day. Don't sulk, don't feel guilty, enjoy life. It's what I want for you, it's what Elizabeth would want for you, but most importantly…it's what you should want for yourself. Happy Birthday!!!
And now I officially feel like shit. She knows me too well. I promised myself that I would call her on Sunday and talk as much as she wanted to. I also decided that I wanted her to visit. I knew it would be easier for me to go see her…physically at least. But I knew she would understand that mentally, I wasn't ready to make a trip back to Arizona yet. And this made me feel even worse. Maybe I could talk Billy into letting Katie travel with him for Thanksgiving. My dad's house wouldn't accommodate a wheel chair…but the Cullen's house could. Whoa Bella, slow down. You can't offer someone else's house. I decided to revisit that topic at a later time.
I ended up working on a paper on music theory for a while. I was actually starting to enjoy that class. I also managed to get the outline for my next English paper completed. I had a feeling I wouldn't have much free time this weekend so I made the best of the time I had. Jake called around 3:00 to let me know he was on the way. I was able to move my appointment with Dr. Kym up so I wouldn't be so rushed afterwards. Alice was going to pick me up and immediately rush me back to the room to 'get you all dolled up' as she put it.
I really needed this appointment with Dr. Kym today. I hadn't told anyone and I had done my best for the past few weeks to hide things, but inside I was a mess. The situation with Edward was really getting to me. I was so conflicted. On top of that, I was trying to figure out how to tell my mom about not wanting to come back to Phoenix. To compound these issues, I was dealing with major guilt, guilt over Elizabeth and Katie. I really wanted to get it all off my chest before tonight. I wanted to enjoy what my friends had planned for me.
I met Jake in front of the dorm and he looked…worried.
"What's up Jake? You look like something is bothering you?"
"It's nothing Bells."
"I know when you are lying, now spill it."
"Fine…I'm worried about asking Angela out…officially."
"You mean you haven't done that yet?"
"Shut it Swan."
"Oh Jake…that girl thinks you walk on water and I have a feeling the feeling is mutual. Just go for it. Take the risk. I think you'll be well rewarded." I laughed. He knew this just as much as I did.
He got a gleam in his eye and I knew I was in for some Jacob wisdom.
"Thanks Bells…now why don't you take your own advice?"
"Shut it Black."
"Okay, okay. I'm just saying."
"I know what you're saying. It's the same thing everybody is saying. But I want you to listen to me and listen to me good because I'm only going to say this to you one more time. Yes, I'm attracted to Edward, yes I think he is a wonderful person, yes we have a lot in common, yes I think there could be something more than friendship between us, and yes I think we could be great together. BUT before I get involved with anybody, they have to know about my past. And in the case of Edward, I'm pretty certain there are things in his past that I need to know about as well. We will get there, but I'm not rushing this Jake. I like what we have now and I don't want to mess it up. I know that's a little hypocritical of me considering what I just told you, but I think my situation is different from yours."
"I know. Please don't be mad. It's your birthday. I'm sorry I upset you." He looked truly sorry.
"I'm not mad Jake, just…frustrated. Look, I like him more than I'm willing to admit even to myself sometimes, but I think that's why I'm being so cautious and careful. I'm frustrated because my head and my heart are at war with each other. My head tells me to be friends, take things slow...my heart, well that is telling me to just go for it. Trust me on this okay, I'm really scared Jake. I don't want to mess things up." He smiled at me sadly but I continue.
"Now…why have you been gossiping about my life with Katie???" I asked with a smug grin on my face.
"That little shit ratted me out." He laughed. "So did you talk to her today?"
"Not exactly. She left me a voicemail. I know, I'm a terrible friend but I didn't want another attack today. I had one this morning thinking about Elizabeth. But Katie knows me better than I know myself. Listen to her message."
He did and laughed again.
"She has your number, that's for sure."
"Jake, I miss her. I've been trying to plot ways to get her to Washington for Thanksgiving…even thought about seeing if your dad would travel with her. I want to see her, but I'm not ready to go back yet. I just don't know where she would stay. My dad's house isn't exactly wheelchair accessible."
"We'll think of something. Don't worry, I'd love to see her too. I miss her just as much as you do."
The air was getting heavy with unshed emotions so I changed the subject. I tried to pry out of him what the plans were for tonight, but he wouldn't speak a word of it, muttering something about a deranged psycho pixie who would have his balls. It was amusing how scared of Alice the guys were.
I walked into Dr. Kym's office, knowing it was going to be a hard session. I was getting ready to start the song I picked for today when she stopped me.
"Well first of all, Happy Birthday Bella. I hope you've had a great day so far."
I laughed and told her about my wake-up call this morning. And then informed her about all the secret plans my friends had come up with for the weekend. She got settled in her chair and I attached my iPod to her dock. She listened intently as the song played. I thought 'Underneath This Smile' expressed how I felt with so many of the situations I was dealing with.
What I'm standing on is sinking in
And I don't have a clue how to get off of it
But when I look at you there is hope
It's like you see the sadness in my eyes
You read the blue between the lines
You could be the one to hold me when I wanna cry
Underneath this smile
My world is slowly caving in
All the while
I'm hanging on
Cause that is all I know
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
I've been hiding out for miles
Underneath this smile
I have walked this earth with broken bones
I've been keeping secrets under all these lights
But when you're around my defenses go
You don't let me run away from you
You don't let me twist and turn the truth
It feels as if I'm naked when you're standing in the room
Underneath this smile
My world is slowly caving in
All the while
I'm hanging on
Instead of letting go
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
I've been hiding out for miles
Underneath this smile
Underneath this smile
Oh, yeah
Underneath this smile
My world is slowly caving in
All the while
I'm hanging on
Instead of letting go
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
Underneath this smile
Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?
I've been hiding down for miles
Underneath this
Underneath this
Underneath this
Smile
Ohhh
What I'm standing on is sinking in
I truly felt like I had been wearing a mask lately. There were so many emotions filtering through my system that I wouldn't let anyone see. So the facade I was standing on was certainly starting to sink. I felt that I was capable of losing it at any moment. But I felt like my new group of friends could save me from myself. Jake would always be there for me but having others there made things a lot easier. But I was still very conflicted about Edward.
"Dr. Kym, I woke up this morning planning to discuss a situation with you concerning the guy I met, Anthony…well turns out he is actually my roommates brother, Edward. But I need to talk about a lot more than that.
I told her about my panic attack this morning, followed by the phone call I ignored from Katie. I told her about the massive guilt I was shouldering. After I finished explaining the situation, she listened to the message and smiled.
"I think we'll start with the guilt issue. Your friend Katie is very perceptive and smart. You should listen to her." She smiled.
"I know. I feel guilty for what happened to them. I feel guilty that Katie can no longer lead the life she always dreamt about. I feel guilty that she is constantly reminded of that night. I feel guilty for not being a better friend. But mostly I feel guilty for actually living my life, pursuing my dreams, making new friends, moving on, trying to put the past behind me. I know it's not my fault that James did what he did, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to be literally crushed under the weight of all the guilt. It's getting better, so much better, but anytime there is a holiday or an occasion to celebrate, it all crashes back down. These are things that Elizabeth will never experience and although Katie can still experience them, the way she does will forever be altered."
"Bella this just shows that you are a genuinely caring and compassionate person. You are a strong person. For you to be able to recognize these feelings and not let them completely drag you under, well I'm proud of you. I know you feel guilt but at the same time you understand that this wasn't your fault and you cannot blame yourself for this." She smiled.
But there was something else bothering me too.
"But I feel weak, not strong. Katie has a wonderful outlook on life. She doesn't let what happened to her define who she is. She is the strong one. She is the one that is constantly encouraging me. I feel like a terrible friend because at times I do look at her differently and sometimes I pity her, which I know is the worst thing I could ever do. She would never want me to do that. She stays in the place where all this happened. I ran as soon as I could and I honestly don't think I am ready to go back. I've already spoken with my dad, but I want to spend holidays with him as well as summer. I've made great progress since I've been here and I don't want any setbacks. This all adds to the guilt I already feel. Sometimes I think I let fear run my life and I don't like the person that I'm becoming because of that fear."
"Can you explain that to me?"
"I always avoid, or at least attempt to avoid situations that may bring on panic, or thoughts of what happened, or any situation that I think I may can get hurt in, not physically, but emotionally. I don't even think that makes sense."
"It does. It's called self preservation, but I think you are taking it to extremes. It seems that you aren't allowing yourself to really live life because you are afraid of the consequences, that you are just going through the motions. Do you only do this when it involves people, places, or thoughts that you associate with Phoenix?"
I decide it's time to bring Edward into this discussion.
"No. I'm doing it with Edward too."
"How so?"
So I told her everything that happened in Forks and after. I explained to her how I feel around him. I even told her about the screwed up pretend 'relationship' we are in to get his ex to leave him alone. She frowned at this but didn't say anything.
"I think I agreed to that because I'm too scared to admit that I actually might want a real relationship with him. This way, at least I get to experience a small part of what it might be like."
She started tapping her pen on her chin before speaking.
"I'm going to be honest with you and this may come across as blunt and for that I apologize, but Bella you need to stop hiding behind your fears. You were correct when you stated that you let fear run your life, and that isn't healthy. I know you've come a long ways but you still let the fear of 'what ifs' dictate your life. Why didn't you answer your phone today when Katie called?"
"I didn't want to have another panic attack, or have to tell her about all the good things that have been happening in my life. I didn't want to feel guilty."
"Why don't you want to go back to Phoenix?"
"I'm scared of what it will do to me. I'm afraid all the months of therapy will disappear and I will revert back to the zombie state I was in for so long."
"Why haven't you talked to Edward about what you are feeling?"
"I'm afraid of rejection; that once he knows what happened to me he will see me differently, treat me differently, be different around me. I'm scared that I'll get my heart broken and although the hurt would be different from what I experienced in Phoenix, I don't know that I'm strong enough to be broken again, in any way."
"What exactly are you afraid of him finding out?"
This was always hard for me. James didn't rape me but he did take advantage...more than I even let myself remember.
"The sexual assault. The way he touched me and talked to me. I know he was planning to rape me. That's been one of the hardest things to get over. I'm a virgin who has been sexually assaulted and I don't know how I'll react once I'm in a physical relationship with someone."
"That's understandable Bella. You need to be up front and honest with whomever you decide to have a physical relationship with. If they know what you have been through and know your fears, you can work through things together. I'd like to talk more with you about this at another session."
"Thank you. I'm not up for it today."
She thought for a few minutes before continuing.
"I'm not saying that you don't have good reason for the way you act, as far as letting fear run your life, but you will eventually need to face those fears, especially the ones concerning your past. That will help you heal in a big way. Please don't think I'm saying you're weak or not making great progress because that isn't the case. Bella I know how strong you are. I know how far you have come. I keep in touch with Dr. Leslie and she is amazed with you. I just want you to be able to overcome this, not forget, but move on and not let it hold you back. If you can't move past the fear and guilty, you will never be able to overcome your past. You almost let it cost you your dream, don't let it cost you living your life too."
I sat there silently for a while, letting the tears fall down my face. They weren't sad tears, they were cleansing tears. I had finally voiced my fears and it actually made me feel better. As the tears fell down my face I thought about all the great things in my life. I thought about my new friends, my old friends, my parents, the support system I have been enveloped in. I realized that Katie was right. I needed to live my life, not just pass through it. Elizabeth would be disappointed in me if I just meandered through life. But most importantly, I need to do this for me. I knew I needed to let the fear of the unknown go and focus my energy on overcoming that fear. I felt as if the tears that were falling were talking away the guilty I've let build up, the uncertainty of the future, taking the fear away. I felt hope fill up the spaces that they once occupied.
It was almost like Dr. Kym could see a light bulb go off over my head.
"Ahhh, and now she gets it." She smiled a real smile.
"I think I do. I'm going to be okay." And for the first time since I first saw James, I honestly believed it.
I walked out of Dr. Kym's office with puffy red eyes. I immediately locked eyes with Alice, who was waiting for me outside. She looked frantic and ran towards me.
"Oh my god Bella, are you okay?"
"Yeah Alice, for once in a very long time, I'm okay...well at least I know I'm going to be okay."
She pulled me into a bone crushing hug and kissed my cheek.
"Good, now let's go. I'm glad you moved up your appointment. It's going to take forever to get that puffiness out of your eyes." She laughed.
Leave it to Alice to make everything better. When we got in her car, I noticed lots of bags in the back seat.
"Ummm Alice, were you shopping?"
"Of course. We have to have awesome outfits for tonight and tomorrow."
"And you don't think there's enough in our closets to choose from."
"Oh please, this is a special occasion which required a special shopping trip. Just enjoy it. You promised, no complaining. Plus, you are going to love what I picked out for you."
"Will you at least let me pay you back? You've already given me way too much today. I don't want to take advantage of you Alice."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Of course you cannot pay me back. I do this because I want to. End of story. No complaining."
I sigh and turn up the radio. I'm never agreeing to her conditions again. They get me in trouble and in over my head.
"So, I'm not trying to be nosey, but did you have a good session?"
"I did. Had an epiphany of sorts. Fear runs my life. I let the fear of what ifs dictate what I do and don't do. Do you know I ignore Katie's phone calls because I'm happy and I don't want to feel guilty about being happy. So instead of talking to her, I ignore her. I refuse to go back to Phoenix out of fear that my progress will suffer a major set back. I tend to keep people at arms reach so I can't be hurt."
"But you aren't like that with the gang. And you have reason to fear."
"You and the gang are different. I can't explain it. And I know I have reason to fear but that isn't an excuse to let that fear rule my life. Katie is reminded every single moment of everyday about what happened, yet she faces it head on and loves life. She isn't bitter, she's just happy that she was given the chance to live. She's the strong one. I'm weak, but I'm working on it."
Alice smiled at me, mischievously before speaking.
"Is that why you won't pursue Edward?"
I take a minute to collect my thoughts before answering.
"Yes Alice. That's the reason. It goes a little deeper than fear, but I'm tired of hiding from what I feel. But with that said, I still stand by everything I said to you and the girls the other night. He needs to know about what happened with James just like I need to know the whole story of Jessica. Telling him about that is going to be hard, but telling him about the sexual assault...well I don't know if I'll make it through that, but he has to know. If and when we get to that point, then we'll see what happens."
I was surprised at her lack of response. I don't think I've ever seen Alice rendered speechless. She finally composes herself and squeals.
"That won't be long...trust me. And just to ease your mind. I know Edward and he would never hold the sexual assault against you. He won't look at you differently and he certainly won't think less of you. I know that's what your thinking."
"As if I'd ever bet against you." And that got a brilliant smile out of her.
On the way back to the dorm, I made Alice promise to keep my revelation between the two of us for the time being. I needed things to move at my pace. Not hers.
I was actually getting really excited about tonight and I never got excited over celebrating my birthday. But no matter what I said or did, Alice wouldn't budge. I had given up by the time we made it back to our room.
Angela and Rosalie had been busy while I was gone. The entire suite was decorated in balloons and banners. There was even a min bar set up in our common area. Apparently we were having cocktails before we left to go do...well whatever it was we were going to do.
"Shower Bella. We have less than an hour to get you ready before the guys show up. Pull your hair up in a bun. No need to wash it, you just did that this morning. Don't take forever, we are on a tight schedule."
Drill Sergeant Alice was back and in control. I jumped in and shaved all necessary parts, just to touch up, washed my face, and lathered up my body in this really awesome smelling bath wash that Alice bought for us. It made my skin feel silky and smooth. I jumped out of the shower, brushed my teeth, pulled on my robe and made my way to our room.
Alice was running around in her bra and panties. She had already picked out my undergarments as well. Although they were nothing like I was used to, they were really cute. She handed me an ice blue pair of lacy barely there panties and a matching strapless bra. The bra did wonders for my boobs.
"Put these on and sit down at the vanity. Rose...Angela...you can come in now."
They burst through the door in...surprise surprise...bra and panties.
"If only the guys could see this now. We'll have to be sure to mention this in some way tonight." I laughed.
"Hell yeah. Bells is breaking bad. First a threesome in the shower and now half naked pictures with the girls." Rose grinned.
"Hey, who has a camera?" Alice had to be kidding.
"Are you shitting me Alice?"
"Not at all Bella. This is a memory."
I cannot believe I actually let her take a picture of us, but hey, you only live once.
Alice got to work on curling my hair and Angela and Rose left to get dressed. Once my hair was to Alice's satisfaction, she pulled out two beautiful hair combs that each had sapphire stones on them. She pulled the sides of my hair up and attached the combs in a way that the only part that was visible were the sapphire stones. She went to her jewelry box and pulled out a gorgeous silver choker. She followed this up with diamond tear drop earrings and a matching tennis bracelet. I felt amazing...and I hadn't even put clothes on yet.
"Sit, I need to do your make up."
She kept it simple but made it more night time appropriate.
"Alice, If the accessories look this great, I can't imagine what you have picked for me to wear."
She walked to her closet and pulled out a garment bag. I didn't even want to see what name was on the outside of the bag. She unzipped the bag to reveal an ice blue strapless dress that was stunning. She helped me put the dress on and I was speechless. It was very form fitting and hugged my body like a glove. It fell about three inches about my knee and had a slight split on the left side.
"Do you like it?" Alice asked, sounding a little worried?
"I LOVE it!!!"
"Now, I'm not sure what shoes to give you to wear. I have an awesome pair of heels that would look divine with that dress but I don't know if you'll be comfortable in them."
She grabbed a shoe box out of her closet and lifted the lid off revealing a pair of strappy silver stiletto heels. She didn't know about my ability to walk in 'stripper shoes' (as my mom called them). I shocked the shit out of her when I grabbed them out of the box, put them on my feet, and started prancing around the room.
"You've got some explaining to do my dear friend. Where in the hell did you learn to walk in shoes like that?"
"We all have secrets. Maybe I'll tell you one day." I smirked.
"Well this little tidbit of information just changed my outfit ideas for the rest of the weekend. Hell for the rest of the year even. You really do look amazing Bella. Go check out the entire package."
I walked over to the mirror and had to do a double take. Wow.
"My brother isn't going to know what to do with himself tonight." She laughed.
She quickly got herself ready and we walked into the common room together. She looked amazing in a short green dress that hugged her figure at the top and flared at the bottom. Rose was wearing a knee length spaghetti strap red dress that worked perfectly on her. Angela had on a silky purple dress that had an asymmetrical hem line. They all look pretty stunning themselves.
"Damn girls, we look hot. I can't wait for the guys to get here." Rose was very excited.
Just as she finished that statement, there was a knock on the door. I started to answer the door but Alice shooed me away.
"Go stand over there Bella. This is your special occasion, you will not be answering doors."
She let the guys in and I think us girls were in just as much awe as the guys were. They all looked totally gorgeous. Jake was wearing a pair of black dress pants with a black dress shirt and a purple tie. Jasper wore a pair of charcoal grey dress pants with a white dress shirt and a tie that matched Alice's dress. Emmett's outfit was totally Emmett. He was wearing a red dress shirt that matched Rose's dress, a black tie, and his pants were black with red pinstripes running vertically. He pulled it off quite nicely. I'm glad I saved looking at Edward last because I stopped breathing. He was wearing dark grey dress pants, a white dress shirt and a blue tie that, ironically...matched my dress. Alice no doubt had a hand in that. His hair was in a state of perfect disarray. But what really took my breath away was the way he had his dress coat slung over his shoulder. He looked like a god. It was only then that I noticed the other guys also had coats with them.
I couldn't help but notice that Edward's eyes were locked on me, taking me in, as I ogled him. Thank god Emmett's big mouth broke the spell.
"Hot damn you are one fine looking group of females." To which all the guys agreed.
Alice broke out the camera and passed it around and we all took a variety of pictures.
"Where are we going Alice. I think we are slightly overdressed for dinner at the dining hall."
Everybody laughed.
"Well first, Emmett, get busy. We are having a pre dinner drink. Then we'll be off."
Edward made his way over to me and my heart started to pound.
"You look amazing Bella. Happy Birthday." He said as he bent down to place a chaste kiss on my cheek.
"Thanks Edward. You look pretty great yourself." And the traitor blush made it's appearance.
He turned to talk to Alice.
"Are we doing presents before or after?"
"After, we don't have a lot of time to hang out right now."
It was then that I noticed a pile of presents sitting on a table beside the mini bar. It was amazing, but for once I was excited to open birthday presents. I was still coming to terms with the revelations of today's therapy session. It was then that I felt a flood of emotions hit me. I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes. No one but Alice saw this.
"Bella, come with me real quick, I forgot something."
I followed her into our room and she of course she asked what was wrong.
"Nothing Alice, I promise. I just had an ah ha moment realizing how much better my life has been since coming here and meeting you and everyone out there. It's just overwhelming."
She pulled me into a hug, no words were needed. When she pulled away, she dapped my tears away, touched up my make up and we rejoined our friends. Emmett passed out drinks to everyone and then decided he needed to make a toast.
"Here's to our birthday girl, Bella. I for one feel very lucky to call her my friend. She is one kick ass chick and I can't wait for all the fun times ahead. Happy 20th!!!"
Everyone raised their glasses and downed their drinks. A few minutes later Alice's cell phone rang.
"Rides here."
I was confused but like I promised...no complaining. Edward walked up to me smiling.
"May I escort you tonight Miss Swan?" He asked and extended his arm to me. Alice smiled back at us and winked.
I couldn't help but feel a little smug as we walked to the elevators and I saw all the girls staring at Edward...well not just Edward, they were practically drooling over the parade of hot guys that were in our group. We were some lucky ladies. I stopped dead in my tracks, nearly making Edward fall, when we stepped out of the dorm. Waiting for us was a limo, but not just any limo...a Hummer limo.
"Are you for real Alice? It's only my birthday. I hate to see what you plan for occasions that really call for celebration."
"Shut it. This is an occasion to celebrate. Just enjoy it."
We had drawn quite a crowd and I wanted to escape all the stares. Edward noticed this and wrapped his arms around me. The limo driver was standing by the open door and smiled at me and wished me a happy birthday. We all piled into the limo and got comfortable. I had never been inside a limo and I have to say, I could get used to it. There was a bottle of champaign and eight glasses waiting for us. Alice passed a glass to everyone and I quite enjoyed the taste, but I limited myself to one glass knowing I needed to get some food in me or the alcohol was going to cut my evening short.
I'm not sure how long we were in the car but we were having a blast. Emmett kept us laughing the entire time...except when the girls got on over on the guys. Rose casually mentioned a threesome and then the picture we took earlier in the evening. I swear all the guys stopped breathing. We finally stopped in front of the space needle and realization finally hit me.
"Sky City??? Damn Alice, you really do go all out. I've never even been to the Space Needle. Oh!!! We have to go to the observation deck and take a huge group picture!!!"
I was really worried about the cost of everything. I knew the others could afford this but Jake and I weren't nearly as well off as the others were. But I knew Jake was aware of the plans so I could only assume that he was okay with it. And although I had a feeling I wouldn't be allowed to pay for my own dinner, I did have a credit card, just in case. We made our way to the top of the Space Needle and into the restaurant. Alice stepped up to the podium where the hostess was waiting...and eyeing everyone of the guys. I knew I didn't have any right to feel jealous, but I did. I didn't like her looking at Edward that way. Alice saw how she was eyeing all the guys and cleared her throat. The hostess snapped her head towards Alice.
"May I help you?"
"Yes, reservations for Cullen."
"Right this way, the rest of your party just arrived."
The rest of our party? Who else was coming? I quickly got my answer and I thought I was going to scream. Sitting at the table were not only Esme and Carlise but also my dad, mom, and Phil. I couldn't help the childish giddiness I felt and rushed to them. My mom and Phil engulfed me in a hug followed by my dad.
"Mom, Phil, what are you guys doing here?"
"Well sweetie, Phil had a small break so we decided to come for a quick visit. He has to be back for the game on Sunday so we'll have to leave tomorrow afternoon, but we just couldn't miss your birthday. By the way, you look absolutely stunning tonight sweetie."
My dad looked at me and I could have sworn I saw him get teary eyes.
"Our baby is growing up Renee. Can you believe it? I mean, look at those shoes. Did you ever think our clumsy Bella would actually be able to stand in something like those, let alone actually walk in them?" He was smiling the whole time. My mom just laughed because she knew the exact reason I could walk in those shoes...and we promised a long time ago to never tell Charlie.
Introductions were made and my mom seemed thrilled to finally meet my friends. She smiled when Edward pulled my chair out for me...as did Esme. Between her and Renee, I felt like Edward and I were under surveillance the entire night. Our table was right by the window, so I was able to enjoy the entire view without the obstruction of other tables and patrons. I was so happy that I had all my friends and family with me...well with the exception of three people; Elizabeth, Katie, and Billy. Alice pulled out her camera again and started taking more pictures.
The food was amazing and I ate way more than I should have. I thoroughly enjoyed the appetizers, my salad, and the seared tuna was mouth watering. I devoured it. It was amazing how everyone seemed to be involved in one big conversation, instead of multiple side ones. My mom seemed especially focused on finding out more about Alice and Edward. She kept giving me knowing glances...that I pointedly ignored.
After everyone had cleaned their plates, Alice managed to get my mom off by herself. They came back a few minutes later laughing and smiling and I just glared at them both. I was getting ready to ask what they were up to when my attention was quickly averted. A man, whom I could only guess was the chef, came up to our table, rolling a dessert cart full of my favorite dessert....chocolate soufflé with lots of hot chocolate sauce, fresh whipped cream, and an assortment of fresh berries. I knew I had officially died and gone to heaven. Edward had disappeared and I was afraid his dessert would get cold...or I'd eat it, before he got back.
"I hear that someone special is celebrating their 20th birthday tonight. Where is the beautiful Bella?"
Everyone looked at me and I of course blushed.
"Ahhh, so this is the birthday girl. Happy Birthday Bella. I hear this is your favorite dessert. Well you get the first one, but first, we must take care of one more thing."
He looked over his shoulder and that's when I saw him. Edward was perch in front of a beautiful grand piano and he started playing. I never knew hearing 'Happy Birthday' played on a piano would cause me to cry, but it did. He had the most beautiful smile on his face. When everyone realized what he was playing, they all started singing...not just our table, but the entire restaurant. As soon as the song was over, the chef started serving the dessert, but I hardly noticed. Edward had not gotten up from the piano, instead he started playing another song...Claire de Lune. I watched him the entire time. When he was finished, there was a round of applause and he quickly made his way back to his table. I stood up and gave him a big hug and thanked him for playing for me. He gently wiped the tears away, that had silently fallen. I again felt the eyes of my mother and Esme linger on us. We sat down and enjoyed the most delectable dessert I have ever tasted. I seriously could survive on this one food alone. Judging by everyone else's expressions, I think they could too.
Jake and Phil were discussing the Diamondback's season, which brought all the men into the conversation. I tensed slightly and my mom noticed. She placed her hand on my arm and squeezed. Phil pulled out two envelopes and handed one to Charlie and one to Jake. They each contained tickets to an upcoming Mariners game.
"There's enough tickets in your envelope Jake for the entire table. Charlie there are four in your envelope. They are for the same game. I figured you wouldn't mind spending a weekend with all these kids. When Spring Training rolls around, I can get you tickets to the Mariner's/Diamondback's game, but I figured you wouldn't want to wait that long to see a game."
They guys were ecstatic. The girls...not so much. But we all agreed that it would be fun because of who we would be hanging out with. I was tense and nervous but knew I could handle it as long as my dad and friends were there.
"Speaking of gifts...." my mom started.
And within a matter of seconds, there were a pile of presents in front of me. I made out like a bandit.
My dad gave me a year's membership to a martial arts training facility. He wanted me to learn self defense. Alice got excited and immediately decided she'd join too as did Rose and Angela. They guys looked scared.
"What, afraid we'll kick your asses if you piss us off?" Rose asked Em.
"Well you know we will piss you off so it's only a matter of time before you hand us our asses on a silver platter." He laughed as did everyone else.
Carlisle and Esme gave me a gift certificate to a local bookstore as well as a very generous gift certificate to a music store. Edward explained to me that the music store was geared towards those that played instruments so there were lots of instrument accessories, sheet music, and gadgets for music geeks like me. There was also a recording studio located at the music store. I knew what my gift certificate was going to be used for. I graciously thanked them.
It was my mom's turn to hand me a present and she was channeling Alice with how much she was bouncing up and down. I started to get nervous...and excited. I nearly passed out when I opened the present from her and Phil. It was my dream instrument...a LaBlanc Backun Legacy clarinet. The shock was written all over my face. This was an expensive clarinet. Before I could speak, my dad gave me another envelope that contained a prepaid Visa card, but he had given me specific instructions. I was to use it to buy a mouth piece. I jumped up and hugged all three of my parents and thanked them profusely. I couldn't wait to see Dr. Smithwick. Maybe she would help me pick out a mouthpiece.
We all made our way to the observation deck where we took more pictures of the group. All the 'grown ups' were spending the night in Seattle and they quickly dismissed us to go 'do what you kids do' while they were going to 'do what the adults do' which basically meant the same thing. They were going to hang out at the bar for a little while before heading back to their hotel. My dad shocked me when he pulled me into a hug and stage whispered into my ear.
"Bella, your old man isn't a fool. I was young once too. Have fun tonight, just utilize that driver Alice has and be sure to drink lots of water before you go to sleep."
Everyone laughed at my expression. Did my dad just give me permission to do what a 20 year old isn't legal to do? I think so. I hugged everyone once again and thanked them for their generosity. We decided to meet up with the parents for brunch tomorrow before they left Seattle. I knew the night wasn't over yet, but was surprised when Alice told the driver to take us back to our dorm, the long way of course. She quickly explained that we were staying in tonight and hanging out as a group. The guys were going to crash in our suite. We were given an awesome tour of Seattle and drank more Champaign as we made our way back to the dorm.
When we got back, we all changed into our pj's and met in the common room. Emmett resumed his position as bartender and quickly made us all drinks. Before he could even sit down, Alice was bouncing up and down yelling about more presents.
"Really guys, I don't need any more presents. You have all done so much for me already."
They all rolled their eyes and told me to shut it and enjoy. That was becoming the common phrase today.
Alice and Jasper gave me a very beautiful charm bracelet. It already had a 'B' charm on it. She then gave me a charm that had the world 'Best' on it. She explained that she had 'Friend' on her bracelet. She also gave me a framed picture of our group from the bonfire at La Push. I loved it.
Angela gave me a spatula and whisk charm to add to my bracelet, as well as a cashmere scarf, hat, and glove set in a very pretty shade of blue. They all laughed at me when I promptly put them on.
Emmett jumped out of his seat, set in front of me, and watched as I opened the present from him and Rose. They had given me a pretty large gift certificate to iTunes. Emmett also gave me a charm for my bracelet...a set of drum sticks. He understood that the drumming lessons we share really are special to me. The charm Rose gave me had me in hysterics. She had actually found a butt charm....of course this was to commemorate our road trip to Forks.
She jumped up and ran to her room and came back with an envelope and quickly started handing everyone in the room something. When she got to me, I gasped. She had gotten everyone fake ID's and they looked damn real.
"This way we'll have no problems going out in the future....what...I know a guy. And Em before you say anything...shut the hell up." She smiled at him and he slapped her on the ass.
I was still in awe over how authentic the ID's looked when Jake plopped down beside me. He had a pile of gifts and I got ready to speak.
"Don't say anything Bells, these aren't all from me. This one if from my dad."
He handed me a big narrow package. I almost cried when I opened it. Billy had hand carved me a large picture frame that held several pictures of Jake and I growing up. The earliest one showed me and Jake, in diapers and nothing else, playing in the water at First Beach. The latest one was taken the morning we piled into the U-haul to make the drive to Washington. Everyone got a big kick out of seeing me and Jake together as children. And they laughed terribly at my frizzy hair and Jake's oversized head when we were around the ages of five and six.
Jake gave me two charms...an angel and one that said 'live' and I knew the meaning of each. For as long as I could remember, Jake has always called me an angel. He said it's because in his earliest memory of me I was wearing all white and because of the way the sun was behind me, I looked like I had a halo of light around me. The 'live' charm simply represented what he has constantly told me since James, that I need to live. The next present made me cry, although for once they weren't tears of guilt or bitterness. He gave me a framed picture of me, Elizabeth, Katie, and himself. This was the last picture the four of us ever had taken together. Billy snapped that picture right before we left for my audition. This was the first time anyone had seen pictures of Elizabeth and Katie. It was the first time I'd looked at a picture of Elizabeth in months. The tears fell but they didn't overtake me. They let me have a moment before we continued.
Edward was next and I was excited to see what he had picked out for me. Keeping with the theme of the charms, he gave me a piano charm. The next present I unwrapped from him was a leather bound composition note book that had my name engraved on the front. I opened it up and found the first part of our duet already written in it. It was the perfect present. I got up to give him a hug but he told me to wait and handed me another box.
I acted like a ten year old at Disney World when I saw what was in the box.
"You got me Muse tickets!!!! I have been trying for weeks to get tickets but the show was sold out unless I wanted to pay an obscene amount of money for tickets that were on those overpriced resale sites. Wait....do I even want to know what it cost you to get these tickets?"
"Probably not." He smiled but at least he was honest.
"Guys, you are all too much. This has been the best birthday I have ever had. Seriously, you don't know how much tonight has meant to me." I hugged each one of them.
Jake handed me another present but told me I'd probably want to wait to open it until I was alone...it was from Katie. He took it to my room for me. Emmett was already working on our second round of drinks. Alice, Angela, and Rose were pulling pillows and blankets our of our rooms so we could all get comfortable.
Alice popped pop corn, although I had no clue where anyone would put it...okay I take that back. Jake and Emmett asked for their own bag. Everyone was getting situated and I started to get nervous. Everyone was officially paired off. Jake told me that while we were on the observation deck, he talked to Angela and they were now a couple. But Edward and I were still strictly just friends. Luckily, the girls ended up spreading out all the pillows and blankets on the floor so we all just gathered there.
Angela turned off the lights and started the movie. 'Breakfast Club' started playing and for once, everyone agreed that it was a good movie. It had been a long day and I ended up falling asleep halfway into the movie. I woke up when the movie went off. I vaguely remember Jake asking if he could crash in my bed. Angela was crashing in Alice's bed since Emmett was staying over. Alice and Jasper were cuddle up together on the couch. And Edward...well he was asleep, partially under me. It seems I feel asleep with my head on his chest, my arm thrown over his stomach, and my leg tangled with his. He had his arms around me, holding me to him. I just didn't have the heart to wake him up and I didn't have the will power to move.
Happy Birthday indeed.
A/N: Well there you have it. This is part one of Bella's birthday surprises. I'm not making any promises because we all know how that goes, but I'm hoping to have the second part posted next week. Here's your last chance to give me some ideas for fun clubbin songs as well as songs you'd like to see Bella cut lose to.
And for all of you who are eager for Bella and Edward to grow a set and fess up...don't worry, it's coming, and soon. Not the next chapter but soon. Thank you all for sticking with me.
Let me know what you think. Reviews help me get through the day :)