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I Should Go copyright 2013 nikkipattinson
I Should Go
Chapter 26
"This is ridiculous. There is nothing going on with Bella and me," I replied indignantly.
"Then explain to me why you were with her Saturday night?" Mr. Masen asked.
"I feel like I'm being cross-examined," I complained. He gave me a pained look and I sighed. "Fine. I went to Port Angeles Saturday. When I drove back into my neighborhood, the power was out. I saw Bella sitting on her porch so I stopped. We talked. It wasn't a big deal."
"Um hmm," he said as he rubbed his chin. "Then why are you blushing?"
"I'm not blushing," I said, but I could feel the heat radiating from my face. "Why are you giving me the third degree? This really isn't any of your business."
"You're right, it isn't, but it's funny as hell that you're dating the girl that Jasper loves and he just got dumped by the one that you want." I felt the color drain from my face. "Well, now you're a pale as a sheet. Did I hit a nerve, boy?"
"I'm in deep shit," I confessed. "I don't know what to do. I really like Alice; she's great. I don't want to hurt her at all. But Bella…." I paused and looked down at me hands. "She's been through a lot and I don't want to do anything to make it worse for her. I've just come off of a bad break up. I just think that the timing is off. Anyway, I don't think that she feels the same way. I know that she likes me as a friend and we have a lot in common, but I don't think that she really wants a relationship with anyone right now."
"Why would you think that? What has she said?"
"Well, exactly what I said. She and Jasper both said that she didn't want a serious relationship. She likes to keep things loose and casual. I'm really not that kind of guy."
"Was it that she maybe didn't want a relationship with a self-centered, pothead and that the same rules may not apply to you?"
"I don't know… maybe?" I asked.
"I think that you need to get your head out of your ass and see what's right in front of you. You're only problem is that you're too nice of a guy to tell everyone what the rest of us sees. Jasper is in love with Alice and I would bet money that she feels the same for him. You're falling for Bella and I don't doubt that she's feeling the same for you. Eventually the four of you will have to figure it out. I just hope you do it before one of you marries the wrong person and I end up having to sort it all out in divorce court."
"So what should I do?" I asked.
"Hell, I don't know! I ain't here to sort out your screwed up love life. I'm here to get you ready for tomorrow. Come around here and show me how to access the Foster file."
Mr. Masen and I reviewed the file and he told me what I was already planning on doing and saying. Out of respect, I listened and took notes.
Mrs. Masen called to say that she was on her way to the office, so Mr. Masen closed out the file and leaned back in his chair. "You're gonna have to talk to Alice. It isn't fair to either of you. You're never going to feel for her the way Jasper does. If you let this go on much longer, it's going to be a big mess. Feelings will be hurt; friendship will be irrevocably broken."
"I don't want anyone to be hurt," I groaned.
"I think that she'll surprise you. You're an okay looking kid. You're just nerdy enough to be charming. I bet she likes you a lot, but you're not the man for her. She's not the woman for you. She might have figured it out already too. You should talk to her."
"We're having dinner together tonight," I said.
"As good a time as any," he said as we heard the front door open. Mr. Masen started struggling to his feet. I instinctively reached to help him. "You want me to break that arm, boy? Back it up. I can do this." He finally stood from the chair with a satisfied smile. "See, I'll be back in here working normal business hours in no time."
"You'll be back when Carlisle says you can come back and not a day sooner," Mrs. Masen said from the doorway. I heard Mr. Masen growl. "You can make bear noises all you want, it doesn't faze me one bit. Has he sufficiently annoyed you today, Edward?"
I looked back at my new mentor and said, "Mr. Masen has been more than helpful today. His insight has been invaluable."
Mr. Masen lumbered around his desk and patted my shoulder. "They train 'em well in those big firms. Just enough ass kissing to stroke my ego, but not so much that I get diaper rash."
I walked behind them as they slowly made their way to the door. Just before Mr. Masen crossed the threshold he turned and said, "Talk to the girl."
"I will."
"What girl?" Mrs. Masen asked. "What are you talking about? What is he talking about?"
"I'll tell you later. Get in the car." He nudged her out the door before turning and pointing at me. I smiled and nodded.
As the day progressed, I could hear movement next door, but Jasper never ventured over to try to make amends. I guessed that he was taking me seriously and giving me time to cool off. Smart man. Every time I passed a reflective surface, I was reminded of Sunday and I would be angry all over again.
I didn't even see him as I was locking the door to start the walk home that afternoon. His Prius was in the lot, but he never showed his face. I smirked as I thought that he might be a bit afraid of me at the moment. I'm not the most intimidating person, so the thought that he might be scared of me was amusing.
I was going to go home to change into more comfortable clothes before driving over to Alice's house. Mr. Masen was right… we needed to talk. I was turning the corner onto Bella's street when my Blackberry chirped. I opened the email and almost leapt into the air with excitement. It was a mass email from comiXology. I got them all the time, since I bought all of my e-comics from them, but I usually didn't have this reaction. The subject of the email read:
Enroll Now! Gender Through Comics: A Super MOOC
I stopped walking and read the entire email. Christina Blanch of Ball State University was going to lead a massive open online course (MOOC) call Gender Through Comics that would examine how comic books can be used to explore questions of gender identity, stereotypes, and roles. The email mentioned Ms. Marvel and the comic series Y specifically. I almost danced to Bella's front door.
I knocked and when she answered, I thrust my phone at her. "Read this!" I exclaimed with probably too much excitement.
"Whoa!" she said as she took a step back. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Seriously, you have to read this," I continued to insist as I held the phone out to her.
I watched as she absorbed the email. Her eyebrows shot up and she said, "Have you looked at the syllabus?"
"Not yet. The screen is too small. I was going to look when I got home."
"Fuck that. Come in. You can use my computer."
She walked away from the door leaving me to follow her. We walked through her kitchen and living room to the back of the house. I started to get a little too excited that her computer might be in her bedroom. It wasn't. She had turned her spare bedroom into an office.
She moved the mouse and the computer came to life. She motioned toward her desk chair and said, "Log-on."
I sat and opened my email account. I clicked the link for the syllabus. Bella leaned over my shoulder. Her hair fell and I felt it graze my cheek. She smelled like strawberries. I tried to inconspicuously inhale. I felt my pants tighten and my face felt like it was on fire.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when she spoke. "A lot of DC on there."
"What? Oh, yeah. But, hey, look… Captain Marvel when Ms. Marvel was introduced and Ms. Marvel herself. And Daredevil…."
"Elektra!" we exclaimed together.
"Wonder Woman of course," Bella said with a roll of her eyes.
"Have you read Y: The Last Man? It's really good and it's week six." I continued to scroll down the page. "We have to go to Port Angeles Wednesday night. We have to do this."
"I don't know, Edward. That's a lot of comics and graphic novels. Hit 'Add All to Cart'. Let's see how much this is going to cost us." A couple of mouse clicks later I hear Bella say, "Holy crap! That's a lot of money, Edward. I don't think I can afford the books and the course."
"The course is free. You'd just have to get the books." I turned and looked at her pleadingly.
"That's still a lot of money… it's over a hundred dollars."
"I'll buy them and we can share. C'mon, Bella… please?"
"I can't let you do that," she said as she backed away from the chair.
I logged off my email account and stood. "I'm going to have to buy the books anyway because there is no way that I'm not taking that course. I think that you'd enjoy it too. Just say yes. We'll go to Cosmic Comics Wednesday night and get everything." She looked at me warily. "It's new comic Wednesday… you know you wanna go."
She sighed. "Fine, but I pay half. I think I can swing seventy bucks."
"Woo hoo!" I yelled as I wrapped my arms around her waist and twirled her around the room.
"Down, boy," she said as she swatted my arm.
I placed her back on the floor and held on to her to make sure that she was steady on her feet. Our eyes locked and I swear the temperature in the room went up a hundred degrees. I felt her hands tighten on my biceps. I drew a ragged breath… strawberries. She bit her bottom lip.
"Bella?" I whispered as I began to lose my sense of reason.
"Edward," she said breathlessly.
"You're so beautiful," I whispered as my face inched closer to hers.
"Oh, God," she said softly. She licked her lips and my ability to control myself left the building.