"SUPER DEPRESSING BUT VERY WELL WRITTEN…." At least in my friend's and my perspective! Hope you love it! By the way! Read it quietly aloud with a slow, monotone voice and use hecka cracky, crying tones when Raven is talking! Then for everyone else use a kind, quiet, slow voice! Doing it that way makes this chapter sound even better! Hahaha! I'm getting the next chapter out right now, but OPINIONS? Who's part of view should it be in? I want the next chapter to either be in Carlisle's, Edward's, Mia's, or Alice's….. feedback people! Keep reading. Stay happy! –xoxo RayRay

Stuck Between a Vampire and a Hard Place

Chapter 26: Nameless

I was more than just sure that this was impossible, but dreaming can provide answers that reality can never explain.

I stepped into the cobblestone road, observing the famer's market with my young, brown, human eyes. I felt the warmth in the air on this fine morning in Italy. I could feel my heart, still beating, and its uncertainty to proceed along my path. I had chores and a job, even as a twelve-year-old girl. It was 1484, and though everything seemed slightly blurred and foggy, it felt like I was living in the very essence of my past.

It didn't feel like this was my past. Like in every dream, you feel like it is reality- that it's really happening. Was this even a dream? It felt so real… I could smell the bakery bread and the sweet stench of food. The feeling of hunger knocked at my abdomen for the first time in nearly five hundred years. This couldn't be a dream- I was feeling pain.

Somehow I knew where I was, as if I'd passed through here thousands of times. I made my way through the bustling crowd, all speaking in Italian, and I fluently understood them. My path led me to a door in an alley.

I gasped.

…Home?

I couldn't find the strength to put even a finger on the latch, fearing that when I'd walk in… it would permanently keep me here. But I wanted to… because I knew what would be behind this door… something of hate… and something…

…something that… would surely make me crumble.

A singular tear strolled down my cheek. I felt the chill that I would only experience as a human. So this was it? I'd been sent back in time? This was no dream… it couldn't be.

But not even my doubts could hold myself back from what I knew I had to do.

I had to open this door, and face the consequences that I knew I didn't deserve but respected.

I gave a small push and the wooden slab opened. I held my breath and peered motionlessly into the home. The Facinelli Household.

These people neither birthed me, nor cared about my dispositions and needs. They only thought of me as a housekeeper and a burden. Even their own children they despised.

Joey…

Or poor, poor Joey… Where was he?

The one I came to think of as my younger brother? Where was he! Had they beaten him again! The closet?

Knowing their usual punishment, I ran into the house, not caring about my fate only basing my actions on the care for my little brother. The house seemed bigger… more ominous than before, like how I remembered. The ceilings irked me now with their darkened corners. The grey tint that glazed over everything in the room felt like a harsh wind, silently blowing me back out the door. But I skipped with all my strength to keep going.

I was starting to forget Joey… just as the wind began to fade when I entered a lighter room, so dispersed my thoughts about him. A heavenly light shown down, and all was calm. I let out a sob and it echoed, each time warping closer and closer to the sound of a laugh.

It all seemed so normal for the reasoning behind such odd principals this shadowed world followed. Nothing that occurred seemed different from reality… the predeceasing reality from this one that I now walked through.

Nothing sparkled, instead a dull feel showered upon the room. The light that yielded forth a colored sepia bestowed upon me an image of timid tranquility. How could such wonders be so still but carry with them a curse of hesitance and uneasiness?

My eyes scavenged on what little they could grasp. A window high above serving as a skylight enlightened the glow in this room. The only sound I could hear was the soft pace that my boots crossed while gaiting ever so slowly on the wooden floor. Not that I was hesitant or burdened, but I felt that bewildered awe floating in the still air around me. The dust did not move and only shifted as I breathed with shaky lungs. I could feel the oxygen filling my blood… I felt the life that I'd been missing for a long time. My skin was soft but dirty, however I couldn't focus very well now.

I turned as I felt an unexpected presence come near.

I would've held my breath…

…but I couldn't find the strength to even collapse.

No time passed between us, although it felt like centuries. My heart was still beating, even with no reason to. It should have stopped…

…Stopped right when I laid my eyes on him.

His eyes- his eyes… the green-brown… witches brew…

They hadn't aged a day…

But not one day…

Not at all…

His hair still seemed as soft as before, although I could not reach him…

His skin… pale…

A beautifully freckled face…

And that one freckle… on the tip of his nose.

My favorite freckle in the whole world…

Right where time had left it.

Nothing could be as real as this. Nothing…

A smile… a crooked, little grin crossed his pinkish lips.

"Raven, what is the matter?"

Even his voice remained as it once was.

No… No… this wasn't real… this couldn't be real… no, no, no, no… it was all just a terrible trick… a horrible, horrible trick… no, no, no…

He couldn't be real. I wouldn't let him be.

I wouldn't.

"Raven? Don't you remember me?"

I would've done anything… anything that would have shown my acknowledgement…

But I couldn't…

Just like everything else in this world…

"It's me, Sam. It's alright."

"No…" I finally sobbed. And then I started crying of joy and fear. I'd said something… the first thing in five hundred years… What if he left… right now… No…

I couldn't speak up.

"Come now… don't cry." Velvet. Pure, pure… velvet.

"Sam…"I sobbed over and over, barely above audibility.

"Don't cry, my rose, don't cry…" he said… nothing sounded as sweet. He came near me, closing the distance, and touched my shoulder.

He was real… real as real could ever be.

Gaining an amount of courage and determination that I thought could only be gifted through a miracle, I gathered a few words from my sobs and asked, "Sam… where have you been?"

The boy replied with a gentle smile. "Do not cry, my rose. For I am here, now, and forever will be."

"How can I believe you?"

"You must trust me."

"Are you really… here…?" I sobbed out of disbelief. I knew he was here… but I needed to hear it from someone other than myself at this point.

"Yes." His eyes did not contain even an ounce of falsehood nor deception.

My hand trailed to his angelic face. I placed my finger on his cheek. Soft… ever so soft to my touch.

My expression changed from horrified skepticism to utter assurance. "You are real."

I shared a smile with my dear Sam for the first time in half a millennia. And it was a feeling of relief and happiness that I had never experienced in all my life.

"I've missed you, Sam."

"I've been with you, my rose… my lovely, lovely Raven."

Tears of joy rolled down my warm cheeks, warmth… such warmth!

"Yes, cry of happiness, nothing less than that."

"Sam…" I cooed contentedly over and over. The words of pure music to my lips. I felt reborn at the moment… the moment that seemed to last forever.

"Come on, I want to show you something," he said, pulling me along. A boyish giggle surfaced through him, this was the boy that I'd fallen in love with.

We walked into the glowing light. I wasn't aware of the outcomes, but instead under a layer of joy and optimism that prolonged my enthusiasm. The wall of light served as a gateway into the streets. Holding my hand and nearly dragging me along, Sam led the way to the edge of the city where fishermen were docking their boats. The traveling seemed like a colorful flash of smells and scents, but the only thing I focused on was Sam. The people we passed didn't seem to notice us; we were far too invisible and stealthy to be caught sneaking away.

We walked to the edge of the dock. The waters as vibrant and beautiful as the sky itself, he motioned for me to jump in.

"Hurry up, we're going to be late," he encouraged with a smile.

My better judgment didn't stop me. Regardless of the consequences, I chose my path. I screamed with joy as I held Sam's hand while jumping into the crystal blue waters of Italy. The rush of indigo waters surrounding my body made me hold my breath. My hair shot wildly all around in the water and I tried not to laugh at the fun I was having. Sam smiled at my enjoyment as we floated beneath the surface. Then he pointed up as if signaling to rise. I kicked my legs, propelling upwards, and ripped through to the warm air. The place had changed?

"Welcome to Greece, my rose."

We hadn't traveled but maybe a few feet underwater. Another miracle to make me smile. "I don't even know where to begin… the questions…"

He pulled me up from the water as we climbed into a stray boat. "Raven, Raven… always the one to wonder."

"You know me so well…" I trailed off.

The boat rocked easily as we drifted towards the shore. Not once could I take my eyes off of him… the magic that lay untouched by time. And yet he hadn't aged, instead gone back? Back into the thirteen-year-old that I'd fallen in love with. How this change in both of our appearances occurred, I was unsure. But as the day wore on, it seemed as if he'd aged, only slightly, but enough for me to notice.

"You were so sad, at first, Raven. Why is this so?" he asked kindly.

I looked to him with sorrow. "You're eyes have not suffered from senescence…"

"Is that something to mourn? Is anything that you know worth the troubles and worries? If not joy is present, make it so, and love… love what gifts life provides."

I gave him a look of self-pity. He had no reasons to be delighted, and yet always found the greener edge. He prospered on what little he was ever given and managed to share his winnings. And yet, I felt as if he had no memory or foresight of what had… or would happen, if this present time were real once again.

"Sam…" I nearly gave a sob, "After our family goes to the New World… something- something happens. Please, don't…" I couldn't finish. My tears stung with familiar agony. I wouldn't be able to face the future twice. I'd lived it once already, and barely survived the depression.

"We cannot rewrite time, my rose. But that does not mean that we cannot flourish from its outcomes."

"What outcomes could we possibly admire enough to flourish in? Do you not know of our fate?"

He broke our stare and looked towards the sunset. Eyes glistening such as the waters around us, he watched with sober emotions. He seemed slightly troubled as he spoke; a hint of sadness and honor, but no pride nor any form of regret was heard. "Regardless, if we or I become damned… we must not let that intimidate our better intentions. We mustn't let ours fears run how we wish to live this day or the next. If I am written to die tomorrow, I shall die with my boots on."

I'd always wished I could've been more like Sam.

He was someone of honor and respect, that no matter what, you could never have a reason to down his name.

"You do know…" I stated. "You know what will happen- what has happened."

"I have never taken an account of fear towards death."

"But Sam, I don't fear death…" I stopped to reach to him. "I don't fear; I only mourn of what is to come."

"You fear life, my rose… my pretty, pretty rose. When will you learn that not everything has an expiration…"

"Everything does, Sam. You, of all the people that live on this cruel earth, should know at least that."

Embracing my hand against his chest, he held my small fingers to the right of his sternum. "I am but a boy… but with a beating heart… and this heart has, is, and will always be beating for you."

Tears ran down my face. I could feel him… living… breathing… talking…

"Why do I still doubt your existence?"

"Is it because I am not how you left? Time is a funny thing, Raven. Sometimes it will pass so slowly, and others faster than you can imagine." And the boy changed to a man- right before my eyes. His skin tattered and rougher, his cheekbones more defined, his muscles more prominent through the gray linen shirt…

The thirteen-year-old boy was the Sam that I fell in love with; the twenty-three-year-old man was the Sam that I intended to marry.

Not noticing or caring about my sudden speed of age, I crashed into his arms. My Sam, my Sam!

"Even from your days as a child, your love has not grown old and withered for me," he whispered softly against my cheek. The warmth from his breath reminded me of the unforgettable passion that I still had for him.

"I love you, Sam," I sobbed against his shirt.

"I love you, my rose, my Raven."

I held onto him with a strength that no one could break. Every ounce of my will clasped his frame to mine. Such a perfect fit… I had a feeling that God had blessed me with a sense of heaven and its grace… just by giving me this moment.

"Remember my brother? When Joey first saw you, he called you an angel," Sam whispered.

I sobbed a giggle. "Yes… I remember…"

"When he died, he told me that when the light began shining down on him, he saw your face."

"Joey… poor Joey… I miss him… so much…" I cried.

"He knows… he knows how you've always loved him like the mother he should've had."

"We all should have had…Maybe then, he would have survived under kind hands."

"We mustn't blame for death, Raven."

"Then who…?" I trailed off.

"Then who would you blame mine?" Sam asked. The world darkened. Distant Greece faded into dark trees while our boat washed against the shores of an unknown, cold land.

Panic swirled in my head as my words fumbled from my mouth, "You're not dead! Please, you're right here! You told me, you promised…"

"I've always been with you, Raven. Don't you forget that…"

"Sam- Sam! What's going on… Please!"

"Don't forget…"

"I'm never letting go of you, but- but why is everything so- so dark now! I don't understand!" I sobbed uncontrollably. He was here, but the life around him was fading.

"Sam, please! Answer me!"

He looked me in the eye and suddenly we sat on the beach, ice water washing against the rough shores. His face no longer of animation, he barely moved. I screamed his name and fell to my knees beside him.

"It will be alright, Raven."

"No- no- no, it won't! Not without you!"

"Carlisle will here for you, and our sisters."

"No! No! I don't want him! Not at all! All I've ever wanted is you! I don't want Carlisle or Shadia or Michele! None of them! Just you! PLEASE!" I sobbed in near screams as the acidic words fell from my lips. Tears gushed from my eyes as I continued to call out him name, each time his eyes thinning as if he was falling asleep.

"Sam! SAM! No! P-Please! D-Don't l-leave me! No!"

"I love you, Raven. Don't forget that either… I love you…"

I screamed out his name over… and over… and over…

I tried reaching for him, but my hand went right through him as if he were just a figure of mist. I called out his name again and cried… cried like I'd never cried before. I'd already been through this once…

Not again…

Oh, God, please, not again…

And like that… he faded away into oblivion.

Sam…

No…

.

.

.

I violently sobbed.

He was right there…

And he vanished…

"Raven, Raven! Wake up! Wake up!"

I heard the distant calls repetitively, but did not care to answer any.

Then someone deliberately slapped me, and my eyes shot open. Everyone was around my bedside fear and horror in their eyes. Although they were my family, I did not recognize them at all.

The tears, the screams, the cries- they were all really happening… they'd heard it all.

If that- then maybe! Maybe Sam was still here! On the beach!

God! Sam! Please!

I ran out of the room, leaving everyone behind. Sam had to be there… he had to be.

I threw my powers around my body, wrapping me within my mental grasp. I then flew through the air.

"Raven! Raven! Wait! Stop!" I heard a few of the men calling.

Through the corner of my eye, I saw two figures running beneath me: two vampires. I sped faster; if Sam was there, who knows what the Cullens would do. They might try to protect me from him… I raced on.

The emotions and sobs still escaping through my exterior, I could barely hold onto my breath. I saw the ocean nearing only a few miles away.

I couldn't even think, let alone doubt.

This was a dark day for me… but if I could find him… all would be well once more.

The pain… the terrible pain that I felt was so wretchedly agonizing that it became nameless… as it simmered in the deep hole of my heart.

Nothing mattered. Not even Regan or Edelle or Mia or Emmett or Alice or Carlisle…

Oh, God…

Carlisle.