Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, I wanted to post it last night, but I had a lot of homework. To make up for that, I wrote you a super long chapter. I got three reviews, and as soon as I get two more, I'll post the next chapter!
AngelicVampireGirl: You're meant to hate Theseus. Hermes is my favorite character, too (I guess that's obvious). Thanks for another awesome review!
ArtyMoonSon: I did know that dolphins were smart, but I didn't know that they were considered the smartest! Did you know that dolphins are one of the only mammals (besides humans) to be able to recognize themselves in a mirror? Dogs and cats just think it's another dog or cat. I am thirteen, how old are you? The backstory for Hermes's mom is that she's shunned by the other nymphs for having an affair with Zeus and turns to alcohol. She blames Hermes for the other nymph's foul treatment of her, because without him, no one would've known about her affair. She's both drunk and angry, and she takes it out on him. Yes, Theseus is really only there to be the antagonist. Thanks for reviewing, glad you liked it!
M'n'Mzutarians 4ever: Yeah, I've heard that Apollo was bi. And apparently that thing with Daphne turning into a tree was not a one-time occurrence that kind of stuff happened to Apollo all the time. Like, he had this guy friend that he liked named Hyacinthus, and they were throwing discus, and Hyancithus got killed by one of them discuses. So Apollo turned him into a flower (the Hyacinth) because that seems to be his solution to everything. Thanks for reviewing!
DiscalimfhgfsirghqyrlaygNO.
Hephaestus
Meet me in the alley behind MOJH. :)
-Dionysus
I smile to myself, the text still imprinted in my brain. I'm not really sure why he chose the alley, it's kind of a sketchy-ass place, but no one ever goes there. So we don't have to worry about the shitstorm of judgement that is reality.
"Don't you think this is kind of a scary place for a little homo like yourself?" I hear the words just as I'm walking around the back of the school.
"Where's Big Homo to protect you?"
"Huh, faggot? Where is he? Aw, did Iron Man dump you?" I hear a sickening thwack that I take as a punch being thrown.
"Did that hurt, Sparkles? I'm so sorry." Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
"Fucking homo." I hear a loud bang this time, and break into a run. When I round the corner, I see Theseus, Bellerophon, and two of their brainwashed thugs holding a knife up to Dionysus's throat. He's unconscious, blood trickling from his head and staining the cement wall behind him.
"Get your filthy hands off of him,"I growl, grabbing Bellerophon by the shoulders and yanking him roughly away from Dionysus, who slumps to the ground.
"Oh, look what we have here. It's faggot number two," Theseus taunts. I lunge at him. We roll to the ground, kicking and punching. Luckily, I have super-strength, and he doesn't. I pin him to the ground and am prepared to strangle him, when I remember that he still needs to kill the minotaur and I can't kill him before he's started his myth.
"Strike one, Theseus," I warn him ominously, getting up and leaving him groaning on the ground. Bellerophon and the two others stare at me, wondering if they should fight. Their leader is currently curled into a ball on the ground, and they're all totally brainless. I lift Dionysus off the ground and position one of his limp arms around my shoulders, preparing to drag him back to the palace.
"You got lucky, fag." I let Dionysus fall to the ground, turning sharply and shoving Bellerophon against the wall.
"You so much as look at him again," I hiss, "and I won't hesitate to tear you limb from limb." With that, I pick up Dionysus again and make my way back to the palace.
Apollo
I'm seated on the bench outside the hospital room, staring at the silver numbers on the door. Room 251. I don't need the numbers. I've been here enough just in these past two months to know them by heart. Artemis is pacing outside the door, waiting for the doctors to let us in. I know she still loves him. I don't think my song helped.
Suddenly, we hear footsteps. Artemis stops pacing and we whirl around, but the site that meets our eyes isn't good knews. So little is, these days. Hephaestus is carrying a limp Dionysus in his arms, who's sporting a fresh shiner.
"What happened?" Artemis cries.
"Theseus happened," Hephaestus grunts, "Theseus and his gang of homophobic thugs." That's all he needs to say. We understand.
"Gods, when will Theseus leave us alone?" I complain. Dionysus mumbles something incoherent, and all eyes turn to him. But he's still and silent again. Hephaestus sets him down on the bench, and then we wait. And wait. And wait.
"Um, Apollo...," Artemis prompts, motioning to Dionysus's still figure.
"What?" I ask.
"You're the god of healing," She reminds me, "can't you, like, do something?"
"I'm not a magician," I mutter, kneeling down in front of Dionysus and grabbing one of his limp wrists, testing for his pulse. It's faint, but it's there. I press my ear against his chest. Same goes for his heartbeat. Next, I tilt his head back and take a look at the gash. Big, but not deep. It's not bleeding anymore, though his hair is caked with dried blood. Suddenly, his eyes flutter open.
"Whazzgoinon?" He slurs.
"Even when you're not drunk, you're drunk," I muse.
"Huh?" He mumbles. "Wait...how did I get here?"
"Hephaestus carried you," Artemis explains. Hephaestus blushes.
"Well, I mean, you were, um, so I...," Hephaestus flounders, his eyes trained on the ground.
"Does this hurt?" I ask, pressing down on the wound on his head.
"OW!" He cries, "Yes! How did that happen?"
"You don't remember anything?" Hephaestus asks, fear and worry evident in his voice. Dionysus furrows his brow and thinks for a moment.
"I was in the alley behind MOJH, waiting for you, and then Theseus and his gang walked in. Then they started punching me, and Bellerophon knocked me up against the wall. That's all I remember," He recalls.
"That's when I showed up," Hephaestus continues, "Bellerophon had a knife to your throat."
"Did you bitch-slap them?" Dionysus smiles.
"I bitch-slapped them so hard their heads popped right off their shoulders," Hephaestus says seriously. Dionysus gives him a high-five.
"Now they know not to mess with the homos," He replies. Suddenly, we hear a voice behind us.
"It's a beautiful day in the gay-borhood, and all the gays are out to play," The voice sings. We whirl around to see Hermes leaning casually against the doorframe.
"You do realize you've been unconscious for three days," I remind him, "and the first words out of your mouth are, 'It's a beautiful day in the gay-borhood'." Hermes shrugs.
"It is-wait, I've been unconscious for three days?" He questions. I nod. He looks to Dionysus and Hephaestus. "So, how'd it go?"
"How'd what go?" Dionysus asks, confused.
"What, you haven't had butt-sex yet?" Hermes replies.
"No," Hephaestus answers slowly.
"Jeez, lets wait for the grass to grow, why don't we?" Hermes says. I can't help but laugh.
"You've been out for three days, and this is what you're worried about?" Artemis muses.
"This is the only thing to be worried about," Hermes answers seriously.
"Hermes, we're fourteen. We're not having butt-sex any time soon. We're way too young," Dionysus explains.
"Ouch," I mutter, "harsh." Fourteen isn't that young! I mean, seriously, as long as you're drunk, it's OK! Then you can't be held accountable for your actions, anyway.
WAIT, NO, THAT'S TERRIBLE ADVICE. DON'T LISTEN TO ME, KIDS. ALCOHOL IS BAD. AND SO IS SEX. DON'T EVER HAVE SEX. THEN YOU'LL GET PREGNANT AND DIE.
...kay I'm just gonna stop talking now.
Artemis
I sit beside my brother on the bench, watching Hermes complain about how Hephaestus and Dionysus haven't had butt-sex yet and they are seriously the most boring gay couple ever. Dionysus says, "Well, at least we're out of the closet." And then glances to Apollo. Hermes looks confused for a moment, before insisting that it's a he's not gay. Dionysus just rolls his eyes, not listening to either of them.
Suddenly, we hear loud footsteps hurrying down the hallway. I whirl around to see Panacea (goddess of universal remedy) jogging down the hall.
"Hermes!" She snaps, "You're not supposed to be moving!" Hermes glances at us sheepishly, then back at Panacea (he'd always made comments about how her name sounds like, "Pancake-ea". He does have a point).
"Gotta run," He mutters, propping himself up on his crutches and hobbling away.
"Hermes!" Panacea cries.
"Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" He cheers, disappearing around a corner. He's fairly slow on crutches (not that I'd ever tell him that to his face-he'd kill me), but Panacea is a bit...round, so it's a pretty even race. Panacea runs past us, waving her arms wildly and muttering curses.
"Get him, Pancakes!" Dionysus mutters. I giggle behind my hand, not wanting Panacea to see. She's got a hell of a temper. Just then, a head pokes out of the door to Room 251.
"Did Hermes run off again?" Aceso (goddess of the healing process) asks. We nod. "He's been doing that all morning. It's driving Pan wild." Panacea has three sisters, Hygieia (goddess of of health, cleanliness, and and sanitation), Iaso (goddess of recuperation from illness), and Aceso. And since "Panacea" is a bit of a mouthful, and "Pancakes" is considered rude, they just call her "Pan". Not to be confused with the satyr, or the cooking device.
Suddenly, we hear a crash and a strangled cry of pain, followed by Panacea shouting, "I told you this was going to happen! ACESO! COME HELP ME!" Aceso sighs and runs off, shaking her head at us. We wait silently for a moment. The sisters usually travel in a pack, which means Hygieia will be here any minute now, demanding that we go wash our hands and showering us with Purell. Sure enough, we hear footsteps clattering down the hall. But they're not as loud as Hygieia's usual six-inch heels are as they bang across the floor.
"What did I miss?" Persephone demands, "I got back from the Underworld and Mom told me Hermes was back in the hospital! Oh my gods, Dionysus, what happened to you?" He looks better than he did when Hephaestus carried him in over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, but that's a pretty low standard. His head is leaning back against the wall, his hair is caked with blood, and there's a bright purple bruise over his right eye. Just then, Aceso and Panacea walk in, supporting Hermes in between them. His head hangs down over his chest limply and his eyes are closed. Great. I swear, he's spent more of this year unconscious than conscious. "Jeez, a girl misses one weekend and everyone dies," Persephone groans.
"I had a run-in with Theseus in the alley behind MOJH," Dionysus mutters.
"The alley?!" Persephone cries, "What were you doing in the alley?!" Her voice drops to a whisper, "People get raped there, you know. I heard a man was killed there. Do you know how they did it?" Curiosity gets the better of me.
"How?"
"They set his balls on fire," She whispers dramatically. Curiosity killed the cat.
"That is so not true," Apollo claims.
"It is," Persephone argues.
"Uh-huh. And where, exactly, did you hear that?" Apollo asks.
"Aphrodite told me," Persephone says matter-of-factly.
"Right, because everything Aphrodite says is true," Apollo replies sarcastically. "Persephone, use your brain! Aphrodite's the queen of gossip." Persephone sticks her nose up defiantly.
"It's true," She says firmly, "and I'm the queen, so what I say goes."
"Yeah, queen of the dead people. Newsflash: We're not dead," Apollo counters.
"Those bell-bottom jeans you're wearing died years ago," Persephone shoots back. Dionysus whistles.
"Oh, snap!" He cheers, "she burned you!" Apollo looks at him quizzically, furrowing his brow and shaking his head.
"Dude, I'm not gay," He points out, "I don't care about my jeans." Dionysus regards Apollo for a moment with raised eyebrows, then glances at the door to room 251.
"You're not?" Apollo looks confused for a moment, then rolls his eyes.
"Hermes and I are not dating!" He exclaims, "We're not even gay! I've banged a girl. I mean, c'mon. And Hermes dated Artemis! We all saw them make out at some point-"
"Okay, okay, that's enough out of you!" I cut him off. He puts his head in his hands, flustered.
"I'm not gay!" He says with finality.
"Ok," Dionysus replies, sounding unconvinced, "you're right. The guy in bell-bottom jeans who walks around spewing poetry, singing show-tunes, and playing the accordion-which is the gayest instrument ever-totally isn't gay."
"I don't play the accordion!" Apollo defends. Lies. Dirty, dirty, lies.
"Apollo, you once played 'Happy Birthday' on a chromatically-tuned set of flower pots. I'm pretty sure you can play the accordion," Hephaestus points out.
"Chromatically-tuned flower pots?" Dionysus repeats, "Nope, that takes the cake. That's the gayest instrument ever."
"They weren't flower pots!" Apollo argues, "They were vases. Get it right."
"Right," Persephone puts in, "that makes a huge difference."
THIS SECTION REALLY ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE, SO...THIS IS AWKWARD. KAY BYE.
That day makes things seem like they're okay. Yesterday, he was hobbling around the hospital wing, chanting, "Catch me if you can!" Today, he's unconscious and hooked up to the heart monitor again. It's steady beeps, instead of reassuring me, set me on edge. I listen to it almost obsessively, always assuming that each beep I hear is going to be the last.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I wait frantically for the next one, thinking for one horrid moment that it isn't coming.
Beep.
I let my breath out, unaware that I'd been holding it.
"Would you stop staring at that thing? It's not going to stop beeping," Apollo says.
"How do you know?" I snap. He glares at me.
"I just do."
"That's reassuring."
"Shut up." And that's the end of our lovely conversation. I go back to listening to the heart monitor. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep. Apollo jumps to his feet, pulling a strange-looking machine out of a cabinet. Beeeeeeeeep.
The heart monitor goes silent.
Apollo goes to work, ripping the wires off of Hermes's body and pulling his shirt off. Next he takes to sticky pads out of the machine and presses them to Hermes's chest.
"Clear!" He shouts (probably just for dramatic effect). He presses a button, a loud buzzing noise fills the room, and Hermes jolts. Still, the heart monitor doesn't beep. Apollo glances over at me, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry," He tells me. I shake my head.
"No!" I cry, "No, you're lying! He's not dead! There has to be something we can do!" Apollo shakes his head.
"It didn't work, Artemis," He sighs, "I tried." Tears start to spill out of my eyes as I cross to his side, taking his limp hand in mine.
"No," I mutter, "no, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening!" I look down at his face, his eyes closed for good. I'll never see that mischievous glint again. His mouth will never form that lopsided smile again. I'll never watch him soar over jumps. He'll never fly again. He'll never win another Nationals trophy. His infectious laugh will never fill another room. He'll never make another bad joke or say some stupid pun. He'll never glare at us for calling him "Fairy Feet". Never. It's all over.
He's dead.
Beep.
Apollo and I nearly jump out of our skin. My head whirls around to face the heart monitor, which is once again beeping steadily. Beep. Beep. Beep. Apollo recovers from his shock first.
"What?" He cries, "That's not possible! People don't just come back to life! What's going on here? What kind of voodoo shit just happened?!" I don't care. I'm more satisfied by the sound of one beep than I ever could be by a whole slew of Apollo's beautiful notes.
"Who cares? He's alive!" I cry.
"But...but...but...," Apollo flounders, "but that's not possible! That goes against all the science I've learned my whole life! Does this mean my whole life has been a lie?"
Hermes
"...I don't understand! How is this possible? It's not! What...I...huh?" I blink groggily, the scene before me coming into focus. Apollo is standing with his back to me, shouting at the heart monitor about the laws of life and death. Artemis is watching him with an amused expression on her face. "But that's just...that's just not how it works! Those aren't the rules! Once you're dead, you're dead! You can't just come back to life!"
"Well, I've never been one to pay attention to rules," I cut in. Apollo jumps and whirls around.
"What did you just do?" He demands, "How did you just...you were dead and then you just came back to life!"
"Funny story, actually, I was headed towards the light, and then I thought, 'It would really drive Apollo insane if I just came back to life right now'. So, I did," I fabricate.
"Very funny," He groans.
"Apollo's having a bit of a freak-out because all of the nerdy facts he's memorized say you can't come back to life. Now he's questioning his nerdiness," Artemis explains.
"Shut up," Apollo mutters. Suddenly, the door opens and two armed soldiers stride in.
"I knew it!" I cry, "I always knew that goody-two-shoes image was a lie! Apollo, who'd you kill?"
"What?" Apollo replies.
"Obviously they're here to arrest-Mom?" My jaw drops open. Flanked by two more guards, her eyes downcast and her normally perfect hair disheveled, is my mother. Before anyone can stop her, Artemis leaps to her feet and slams my mother up against the wall, her hands curled around my mom's throat.
"How dare you," She hisses, "how dare you show your face on Olympus, you sick piece of dirt! What nerve, to show up here like nothing ever happened. You should be in the dungeons, hanging by your wrists over a fire for all that you've done! What kind of sick-minded person does that to their son?! How did you stand it? How did you stand yourself? You nearly killed him-" she draws her bow and places the arrow against my mother's left temple. "-and now, I'm going to kill you."
"Artemis, stop!" I leap to my feet and zip across the room, my broken ankle screaming in protest. I grab Artemis by the arm and yank her away from my mom, pulling her, struggling, to the floor and securing her arms behind her back.
"Let me go!" She demands, "Hermes, you know what she did. You know she deserves this." My gaze meets my mother's, her eyes pleading with me. Her life is in my hands. Artemis is a lethal weapon when she's mad. If I let her go, the guards would stand no chance of saving Mom's life.
"I know," I tell her. My mother's face falls, those two words are a death sentence for her. "I know," I repeat, "but I can't let you kill her."
"What?!" Artemis cries, "Why not?! Let me give her what she deserves! After all that she did to you, Hermes, you're going to spare her life?"
"She's my mom," I mutter, "she raised me-"
"Yeah, and then she almost killed you!" Artemis wrenches herself free and lunges at Mom again. She draws her bow, and I close my eyes, waiting for the sickening sound of the arrow finding its target. Instead, I hear the bang of the door slamming open.
"What in the name of Olympus is going on in here?" My father booms, "Artemis, what are you doing?" Artemis scrambles to her feet.
"Dad, you must agree with me on this one. She's a monster! Look what she did!" Artemis points to me, "I merely wanted to give her what she deserves! And you know she deserves ten times worse than death. I was letting her off easy."
"I agree with you that she deserves it," My dad hisses, glaring at my mom, "however, I can't let you run around killing people."
"Not multiple people," Artemis argues, "just her. And maybe Perseus, because he's a douchebag, but other than that-"
"Artemis, no! And that is final!" Dad orders. He points to the door, "Out, now." Artemis hangs her head and trudges out the door. "Apollo, follow your sister and make sure she doesn't come back in here with an army and a declaration of war." Apollo nods and follow Artemis into the hall. "Well, now that we know there won't be any killings going on, proceed with your family reunion." My mother leaps to her feet and runs over to me, moving in to hug me. Instinctively, I shrink away from her arms. I've become wary of them and what they can do under the influence of a little alcohol and some anger. My mother smiles sadly at me.
"Oh, sweetie, I'm not going to hurt you," She promises.
"I know," I mutter, "just a habit." She looks heartbroken at this, but hugs me anyway. I let her, but I don't hug her back. I just sit and enjoy the feeling of her arms around me. It does feel good, and I've missed it.
"Hermes," My father cuts in, "what are you doing on the floor?"
"Oh, I was just trying to keep Artemis from killing Mom," I explain. Dad sighs and points at the bed, which I reluctantly climb back into. My mother tucks me in, just like she did when I was four and she called me, "my little bird".
"How's school, honey?" Mom asks me.
"Good," I reply. Dad looks at me pointedly.
"Tell your mother what the doctor found," He orders.
"Oh," I sigh, "um, Mom, the doctor says I'm dyslexic."
"Oh," My mom replies, "well, that's good to know. What about that Theseus kid, Hermes? Is he still picking on you?"
"No," I lie.
"Really?" Dad contradicts, "I thought he was the reason you ended up here again." He motions to the hospital room as he speaks.
"What?!" My mother cries, "What did he do, honey?"
"Nothing, compared to what you did," Dad answers for me. She glares at him.
"Hermes, tell me what Theseus did," Mom insists.
"Well, he did Ariadne at a party, I heard," I stall.
"Hermes!" My father snaps, "That is not funny!"
"It wasn't meant to be funny," I reply, "it's the truth." Mom sighs.
"What did he do to you?" She presses.
"Oh. He just kicked me is all. It's not a big deal. I'm fine," I mutter.
"He kicked you and tore your stitches," My father adds.
"Dad, really, I'm fine. He knocked Dionysus out in the alley behind school," I attempt to change the subject. My father's jaw drops.
"What?!" He cries, "When? Why? Where is he?"
"Theseus or Dionysus?" I question.
"Dionysus!" Dad exclaims.
"I don't know. He was here yesterday. Theseus and his gang beat him up for being gay," I explain.
"It sounds like I need to have a chat with Theseus," Dad growls. I know that voice, and it doesn't mean anything good for Theseus.
Apollo
Artemis and I sit outside Room 251, listening to the voices inside. I can't make out anything.
"You know," Artemis tells me, "you never told me how you knew we needed your help that day."
"Huh?" I reply, confused as to what she's talking about.
"That day that I found Hermes in the hallway after Theseus kicked him, and we needed your help, you just came out of nowhere. And when I asked you how you knew, you just said, 'I'll tell you later,'. You never did." She explains.
"Oh," I reply, "I don't really know how to explain this. I just kind of knew."
"Maybe it was because of the web. You know, how we're all linked and stuff?" She guesses. I shake my head.
"No, it wasn't like that. I didn't feel anything. But I saw it," I say.
"Saw it?" She echoes, "That's not possible."
"Well, it happened," I reply. "Twice, actually. It happened when you were about to be eaten by that chimera. I heard you scream, but also, I saw it. Before it happened, actually.
"Maybe you can see the future," She jokes, "maybe you're, like, a human time machine, or something." Huh. She might be onto something with that.
"No, no, that would actually make sense," I muse. She snorts.
"C'mon, Apollo. Don't be ridiculous," She replies.
"No, I'm serious. Think about it. I'm the god of prophecy, right? So it makes sense that I would be able to tell the future," I explain.
"Apollo, that's the oracle, not you," She tells me.
"Got a better explanation?" I ask. She glares at me.
"No," She admits, "but I'm just saying, that's ridiculous. You can't tell the future."
"Remember, I saved your life," I remind her, "so, if I really can't tell the future, next time I have a vision of you being eaten by a chimera, I'll just let it slide. I'm probably insane, anyway." If looks could kill, I'd be a dead man.
"I don't need you to save me, thank you very much. I'm just fine on my own," She argues.
"Right, I should've just left you on your own at Nationals," I point out.
"I would've been fine," She snaps.
"Arty, it was about to eat you," I remind her. She glares at me, but has no retort.
YES! VICTORY!
Artemis: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Apollo: 1