Oh God, guys, I'm so excited to show you what I've done, where I've gone with this. The last four chapters are upon us! The last four! But to sweeten the deal I have this little series I'm cooking up in my head. Hang around, by the time you finish reading this I would have probably uploaded the first fic in it... thank you as always Wallflow3r, for being my beta and most importantly: my friend.
The wind is harsh and painful against Beth's cold cheeks and panic makes her almost dizzy.
The result is her hanging onto the horse with a grip that she has to consciously loosen so as not to hurt Buttons. She hasn't got a fucking clue what's going on. She woke up this morning to all her memories, all her being and an empty bed where she made love with a man she's fallen in love with twice.
She doesn't know where he is or if he's safe and she doesn't even have the time to worry to that extent. Something's wrong with Maggie, with the baby and now all Beth's rational thought and emotions are tied to her sister. To the unborn life growing inside her already fighting such unfair odds.
The most frightening thing is something is happening. Cars are blocking off the RV. People are hunting them. They never did tell her who or what it was they got involved in. Perhaps they thought she was too fragile to handle it which at that point, she can't blame them. Though it does sting a little, knowing they kept secrets.
It's unfair to think like that since it's not like Maggie had time this morning to clue Beth in on what's been going down but it still hurts all the same. Regardless, she's not thick enough to join the open road. On Buttons, she surfs through the trees, silent in the mud. Before long the day fades away and darkness comes.
The others are trapped, she sees and feels it like someone rattling her silent by a death grip on her throat. The fear is so oppressive it weighs her down, it forces her still. Even hearing the voices, seeing the terror on her family's face, she's frozen on the seat of her horse. The baby. Jesus, God, the baby.
Maggie. They need help. They need her help but she can't move. She hasn't felt fear like this since the hospital, claustrophobic to the point of insanity even in all this open air. The tight corpse of trees around her feel like they're closing in and for a moment she sways on the edge of passing out.
She keeps thinking about the hospital. About how brave she was there, about how she stood up to Dawn, tried to be somebody and look where that got her. Dead. Reborn into something worse than a walker. Something broken and sad. She doesn't want that again. She won't survive again.
To their knees they fall.
She sees them all, surrounded, closed in, their bodies bent but their eyes fierce. Something is happening. The answer is swirling in her mind somewhere, pushing up from the dregs of terror and uncertainty. There's one man she sees, one man she knows and the answer is there.
The answer was always there, she just wasn't looking hard enough.
"Well, look-e here boys, we caught ourselves some goddamn entertainment!" He crows and his smile feels like it's made for her, like it's reaching out for her.
"Negan," she whispers numbly.
It's barely a word really, barely speech but it feels too loud, too obvious, too much, ringing in her ears. Buttons whines a little, pacing and Beth's stomach clamps tighter with panic. Idiot, idiot, idiot. What is she meant to do with a fucking horse right here and now? She can't go charging in there, they'll kill her.
Except she can't leave her here either because the walkers will kill her. Fuck. Sweat is beading her forehead and upper lip, nearly going cross eyed with her own internal thoughts.
Negan is still speaking. "Though s'not really entertainment is it boys?" His manic grin slides away, replaced by a smirk that makes her skin crawl. "'Cause not only did you kill EVERYONE in one of my fuckin' outposts! No, no," he laughs but its mirthless, it's hard, it's scary. "Little birdie told me you got one of mine."
She sees her family swap glances, frowns, murmurs. Jesus. Why was she so fucking selfish before? Why did she think she could just blend into their life and be forgotten? As if she could run from the Saviours, as if she could even try with her pulse still rabbiting in her throat.
Admittedly, at first, she was forced. Maggie and Rick took her without her say so, without her consent but then she had a whole night to think about it. New place, new people, new life. Of course she didn't realise she fell smack dab in the middle of her family.
All Girl cared about for a while was being safe, being hidden but then her heart opened and her memories started coming back, her emotions. She should have told them and now they're in this mess because of her. Crickets sing into the silence and Beth glances around in the darkness.
She can't leave Buttons here and she can't ride in with her. There's only one other option. She swallows as she watches Negan grow more agitated, pacing as he eyes each one of the group, as he menacingly swings his bat. Even poor Aaron is down there on his knees, swept into something he didn't ask for.
Taking a deep breath, Beth carefully disembarks from her horse, sliding to her feet in the leaves. They crunch a little and she freezes but Negan keeps talking, keeps provoking and she hurries. Stroking Button's face, she feels tears clutch her throat.
"You gotta go, 'kay?" Beth whispers hoarsely. "You gotta go home."
The worst part about this is rationally she knows Button's doesn't understand, that she won't go home, that'll she'll run off somewhere, somewhere she could be hurt, killed, eaten. Tears squeeze her throat and she can't even manage words again. She pats the horse on her neck and Button's just turns and runs.
Beth stares after her, stomach hollow and heart carving its way out of her chest. Then she swipes at her face and she turns back to the tight copse of trees.
Negan's voice rises in pitch, to a point where he doesn't quite shout but the bass of his voice reaches through the body and grips the spine. "I won't ask you again. 'Cause you see, Lucille here gets damn thirsty! S'hard work bein' a mighty fine little piece! So let's do a little swap, shall we? Simon!"
Beth's eyes flicker to Simon, a man she knows too well. A man she's shared breakfast with, laughed with. It's hard looking at him, at Negan, at all the familiar faces because it's like two parts of her life splitting down the middle. Her family mean everything to her, to Beth but in those dark months this other family meant something to Girl.
Simon turns the handle on the back of a van door and Beth's whole body goes icy cold when out stumbles Daryl and Tara. Carol's not with them. He doesn't look hurt but it's only a matter of when not if. Negan lashes out when he doesn't get what he wants. Beth is frozen again, these two personalities inside warring together and tearing her apart.
Beth and Girl.
Beth's family versus Girl's family.
Except the Savours were never really her family. They were just a place to stay, to eat and lay her head. To be safe in her confusion.
"I am givin' you TWO MORE fuckin' seconds before your beloved red neck here meets the love of my life. An' then the pretty little lesbo's next," he pauses here to turn to Tara. "Sure you don't want some of my dick, sweetheart? I really think it could turn ya."
Tara coughs up a thick mucus and spits it to the ground at his feet. "Go to hell."
Negan sighs like he expected this and turns back to the group on their knees. "S'always the hot chicks that're gay, am I right?"
No one answers. Probably the absolute worst part about Negan is that he never really has to use force. His voice; his charm, his smirk, his jacket and that fucking bat, they do all the damage they need. They leave you shaking and vulnerable, so scared you can't remember how to talk. Her poor family, they don't know what the hell is happening.
"No?" Negan presses.
Daryl is on his knees, head hanging, mouth bleeding and Negan is raising Lucille. Beth's frozen solid, hands pressed to her jeans, sweating and sick building in her throat.
"Are you really gonna let him die!?" Negan shouts.
"Please!" Rick responds, surging on his knees until someone knocks him back down with the butt of a gun. A spray of blood makes Beth woozy. "We don't know who you're talkin' 'bout!" He finishes in a pained grunt.
Negan laughs, that chuckle that as Girl she once thought was sexy until she watched him beat someone's head in, until she fled. She's about to watch him do it again, to Daryl.
"You expect me to believe that?" Negan asks with a mocking smile, a placating one like Rick has simply lost his toy in the park.
When no one responds, Negan's face goes hard and there's no pre-amble, no warning, the bat goes up and his arm swings down and everyone is screaming and Beth is falling through the thick bramble, stumbling, jostled by a thousand arms as her eyes pin on Daryl.
"Negan!" She screeches as someone snaps her up, bands her arms together behind her back and wrestles her against their hard chest.
"Beth!" Maggie shouts and she almost turns her head, almost. "Get away! Let her go!"
The bat stops an inch from Daryl's bowed head and that steals all of Beth's attention until she remembers the brutality of these men and looks over her shoulder at the guys lined up behind her family.
"Don't hurt her," she hisses in a voice that vibrates with fear, stinks of it. "She's pregnant."
When no one replies, retaliates, she turns back to Daryl. His head is lifted now and so immediately their eyes catch, hold. There's so much there. So much. For a moment he looks confused to see her, until his eyes flicker around the circle, the family, the Savours and when he looks back at her he looks terrified.
The worst part is Beth knows it's not fear for himself. Its fear for her, poor damaged Girl. He doesn't even know that she's back, that she's Beth again and in order to save them she's gonna have to go with Negan. Maybe it's better that she never tells him, wait until he goes home, safe, for Maggie to tell him.
Negan stops and lifts his head too, slower than Daryl but more deliberate and with a satisfied little smirk.
"Oh-ho, I missed you sweet thing."