"John." Abraham smiled amiably, brushing his documents to the side of his desk when his long awaited friend entered the library, which lacked the other hunters at the moment. "Come in." Hellsing stood and went to one of two chairs situated around a low table weighted with a tray of tea and seasonal, spring fruits. The younger man smiled at the familiar warm welcome and claimed a seat for himself, allowing Abraham to mix honey and milk into his tea, Hellsing already aware of John's preference. Abraham fixed his own tea and took a sip in unison with John. Idle chatter started and persisted for a few light minutes, until the tea cups were empty. The fruit went untouched as the men addressed the vampire, the reason for John's presence. "I briefed the matter concerning the female vampires and then the later…conflict with my assistant in the letters I sent you…" Cobalt eyes went to John's face, watching it nod placidly. "…and have you considered my idea of utilizing the vampire's more…violent nature…his hunting instincts…to our advantage?"

John nodded his head again while he also spoke aloud. "Yes, I have." His lips pursed for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "It would prove a risk…but it could also be just what the vampire needs…there is a possibility of it helping his behavior, a little. Then if you look at it strictly from…well…your view or the point of view of others who also hunt these demons…he, ignoring his identity, would be an effective weapon, considering his…abilities." John paused, looking over Abraham's amused expression. A smile also lifted the corners of his mouth. "Am I hopelessly lost in my attempt to understand a hunter's point of view, or am I correct?"

Abraham shook his head, teeth coming into view as his grin widened a little. "No, if you were to overlook his identity as a vampire…he would not be considered a weapon, but as a vampire, and only then, is he seen as such." Abraham chuckled at the curious look he received from his friend. "But overall you were quite accurate."

John made a mental note of what Hellsing had said, then expressed his thanks for the compliment. Abraham described the incident involving his assistant and the vampire in more detail, then began to recount the experiment that followed as the creature's punishment. "My assistant…was almost demonic, cruel, and I'm sure he was trying to torture or kill Alucard. I'd swear by it.."

"Would you like me to talk to him?" John questioned, looking Abraham in the eye though the man was focusing his own gaze on the armrest of John's chair. "Do you think it would help?"

"No." Abraham's eyes flicked to John's and he waved his hand. "There's nothing wrong with him, mentally. He's quite sane. One should be frightened by the vampire's abilities. I am the one who should really be evaluated if you think about it."

John's gaze hardened a little, then eased with a blink. "I don't think you need to be concerned about that, Abraham." Hellsing flinched, his face blank with surprise, and then he brightened and chuckled to himself.

"No. I'd hope not."

There was a pause in which the two exchanged good humored smiles. John ended the pause, interest sparking in his eyes. "Has Alucard been reading the Journal?"

Abraham caught the rare use of the vampire's name, but he chose not to comment as he nodded. "Yes. A bit at a time, he says."

"Has he spoken about any of it?"

Abraham's eyes narrowed, looking back. "A little…but I think he was talking more to himself than anyone else."

"And he called your assistant a 'wretch'?"

"Hm?" Hellsing blinked at the change in topic. "Ah, yes . Yes he did."

"So he looks down on other humans still? Only looking up to you?"

"I'm not sure." Abraham confessed with a small frown. His eyes lowered, unfocusing. "I don't speak to him in length…as often…as I used to."

John watched the man's expression and kept a mental log of Hellsing's responses. "You miss having conversations with him?"

Abraham stiffened. "Yes, a bit."

John blinked. His eyes ran over Abraham's figure, stopping on an ungloved hand that gripped the carved armrest. "Let's backtrack." John murmured to himself, catching Abraham's attention, and the older man sat up and looked at his friend's face. John inhaled before speaking. "What are your thoughts on the vampire?"

Hellsing gave a knowing smile, but showed that he would comply. "So this becomes a questioning session?" John didn't answer so Abraham chuckled, then quieted, heaviness coming into his features. "Well…he's a monster….much different from before…almost nothing human can be found within the beast." John nodded absently, though Abraham failed to notice, his eyes unfocused and directed at the table. "He's darker…difficult to comprehend…a stranger, really."

"His personality has changed." John titled his head curiously as he watched Hellsing. "But we already knew that."

Hellsing sighed. "I know, but he is also changing…becoming more thoughtful…versus the way he was before…"

"Yes." The younger man recalled the session with the priest. He had yet to find time to research the vampire's past….his mind was wandering and he brought it back to the moment.

"But he could still revert, a little, to how he was before." John was quiet, but one of his hands curled into a fist. "By reading the Journal….he could adopt some of his past thoughts and behaviors."

There was silence for a long time, and then John frowned, pity and concern in his expression. "You can't bring back the dead."

The gentle voice struck Abraham and he started and stared at John, his lips parted. Then he bit his bottom lip, still looking at John's eyes. "He's not dead, John. As I've said before. This is different than death. He is still there and his personality is not fully settled. Anything is still possible…"

John cut Abraham off. "What did you see the two 'human' states as?"

Hellsing didn't move, completely rigid as he fought against searching for the answer. He began to give in as he watched John's face, then changed his mind and frowned in annoyance. "What do you mean?"

"The first one was rather childish, right?" The younger man spoke slowly, hesitant about pursuing the subject. "You could have developed…fatherly feelings about…."

"No."

John leaned back into his chair, intimidated by the dark tone and the cold look he received from Abraham. "It is possible…even likely…" John continued in a smaller voice. He kept both of his hands as fists on his armrests.

"No, John. I don't think of him as my son."

"Thought…" John interjected, and Abraham almost growled.

"Don't go there, John." The man warned, and John swallowed, taking a breath that moved his chest.

"The next 'human' state…Alucard acted as…a friend. You two were…not as close…but also closer in a different way…peers maybe."

Abraham calmed, while his face became more solemn. "I can agree with that to an extent."

"But you felt…protective of both, right?" John was gradually relaxing. He didn't give Abraham time to answer. "What about now?"

His lips twitching, Abraham refused to let himself find any irony in the question. "It's my responsibility to keep track of him and protect him. I make him vulnerable…at times…for example, with the recent experiment I allowed my assistant to run."

John didn't speak for some time. "Why are you protective of the monster?"

The muscles on Abraham's face jerked but did not alter his universal expression. "It's my responsibility." Abraham murmured.

"But he's a monster. A beast…"

"He's Alucard." Hellsing broke in sharply. He couldn't bring himself to look John in the eye as he went on. "He's still Alucard, John. Nothing will change that."

A revelation cascaded over John's features and he gave a small gasp. "You really think that he can revert to how he was before?"

"Well, yes." Abraham stated bitterly, narrowing his eyes.

John gawked at his friend, then covered the expression with a mask. "You can't bring back the dead, Abraham." He enforced in a strong voice, making Abraham scowl.

"He's not dead." Hellsing protested just as strongly. Their conversation adopted the heat of an argument. "He is not dead. I can still bring him back."

"Bring him back?" John breathed, his eyes wide. "Bring back whom? Who are you trying to bring back from that monster's soul, Hellsing?"

Abraham flinched at the use of his last name, but his eyes bore into John. "Who he really is, with the memories, John. He's not dead." Hellsing repeated. "It's not a hopeless case."

"But it is!" John was leaning forward in his seat, and now he stood, looking down at the man who wouldn't meet his gaze. "They're gone! What you have now, is Alucard. A heartless vampire! He's not going to find a heart with his memories or within the Journal!"

Abraham was quiet, and the flame left the conversation. "Thank you John, but I will stand by my belief. What happens will happen." There was an interval of silence. "I can at least try to bring back the dead." Abraham whispered.

John left shortly afterwards, exchanging a brief farewell and taking his jacket at the front door.

*~*~: . + . :~*~*

"Read the Journal." Hellsing insisted, not looking directly at the beast. His hands were occupied with paperwork he shuffled through while the vampire stood in the center of the room.

Alucard was quiet, his crimson eyes following his master's hands. His face was without expression and it didn't change as his lips parted. "Why?"

The hands froze, glued to the papers held in them. Cobalt blue orbs were motionless, staring wide and empty at the desk. Then Abraham flicked his eyes upwards, finding the monster just as expressionless as when his eyes had first left the creature. Hellsing spoke with a frown. "Because I order you to."

Alucard didn't allow a breath of a pause to interrupt their conversation. "But why? What is your reasoning for this? Does it serve some purpose to read the thoughts of someone else?"

Abraham's hands had been gradually lowering the documents to his desk, and with the nosferatu's last question, the knuckles struck the wood. The hands lost their strength and the papers slowly slipped from the gloved fingers while Abraham stared at his slave without a frown. "Someone else?" Abraham voiced softly, not allowing himself to blink though his eyes began to burn. Alucard observed the man before responding.

"I am not them. I am not the childish one with questions. I am not the wise one with the warmth of a human nature." Abraham swallowed as Alucard continued, and strained eyes finally gave in to a blink. "I read parts of the Journal, not paying attention to chronological order, for both persons are just as divided from myself as a common stranger. If not for a few memories and your words, I would never have thought what that booklet contains could have been written by these hands." Red eyes had absently looked down at the pale hands that rose before him as he spoke. He let go of the gaze and dropped his hands, instead, looking at his master's displeased face. The two stared at one another while the grandfather clock ticked and its pendulum moved the minute hand. There came a loud click as the minute moved.

Suddenly, Alucard spoke in a voice just above a whisper. "What do you want from me?"

Abraham started, jerking back in his seat, his arms retreating from the desk to hide in his lap. He blinked at the creature, living lips moving as he tried to speak even though he had nothing in his mind to say. Hellsing snapped his mouth closed, wincing when he accidentally bit into the side of his mouth. He suckled the tiny wound in thought, tasting the blood without pleasure. Alucard was still unchanged, though his eyes watched the man's cheek with a hint of obsession. He could smell the scent of blood, almost able to visualize it as the aroma wafted towards him. The demon blinked sharply to rid himself of these thoughts, and he steadied himself as he felt that he was leaning towards the man on the balls of his feet. All of this passed unnoticed by Hellsing who snapped his tongue before he spoke, looking at the hands that re-emerged and folded together on his desk. He laced his fingers. "Of course, I want your obedience…your servitude." His fingers moved towards himself and then fell back against the surface of the desk. "Which you will promise me." Blue glanced at Alucard and the vampire nodded slowly. Abraham's lips twitched and his gaze dropped to his hands. "What I want from you…is…" his teeth chewed on the side of his mouth, stopping when more blood was drawn. Abraham took a deep breath and exhaled, without opening his mouth. "I want…" Hellsing's fingers throbbed lightly and he moved them to stop this. "That is all I want." Abraham finished abruptly and looked at Alucard.

Discontent or disappointment flashed through the crimson eyes, but the face was still a steady mask. "There is more to it." Alucard insisted, watching the carpet that stuck out from the bottom of the man's desk. "Why? I wanted to know why you want me to read that journal." Abraham was frowning now. He didn't want to discuss this with the creature. Alucard appeared to notice this and he pressed on, looking into the cobalt eyes that did not meet his gaze. "Why can't you tell me the reason, Master?"

Abraham had never heard Alucard take this kind of imploring tone before, but it reminded him, faintly, of the vampire that had once followed him around the mansion, sleeping by the foot of his chair as he worked in the library.

"Why won't you tell me?"

Hellsing snapped out of his memories, picking up the aggression in the voice that almost made the question a demand. No…it was very much like a demand, Abraham thought with a frown. His eyes narrowed at his slave and the laced fingers were brought to the man's mouth. Something dark descended upon Abraham's mind and his jaw clenched. He felt disgust and dislike for the creature before him, and his mouth wrinkled with a deep set scowl. "Why couldn't you be as you were before?" A low voice spoke into the hands.

The office grew colder and the pupils in the demon's eyes shifted into and out of focus. "You prefer either of them to me…don't you?" Alucard said quietly.

Abraham didn't even hesitate. "Yes."

The beast knitted his brow and then his features became blank, eyes scrutinizing the man behind the desk. "So that's it?" The vampire snorted, making Hellsing raise his eyebrows, considering the tone.

"What?" he said numbly, taking note of the scornful smirk that slipped into his slave's features.

"You don't want me at all. You want nothing from me." Alucard snickered with a crooked smile. "You want them. You want one of them to return. You want me to disappear, for those other personalities to take my place." Abraham was quiet as the demon cackled. "That's why you want me to read the Journal!" Alucard laughed before Abraham answered.

"Yes." Hellsing pressed his lips to his folded hands. Blank eyes watched the crazed beast without affection. "I want you to remember yourself."

Alucard had quieted, but now he sneered at the statement. "Remember myself?" He gave a short laugh and shook his head slowly. "Are you saying that I am not me?" His eyes ran over Hellsing's face, then they stopped on his mouth and the demon chuckled, his eyes unfocusing. He closed them and when they opened they pieced straight into Abraham's gaze. "Then who is 'me', if I am not?"

"Yes." Blue eyes flashed with the quiet voice that did not address the vampire's question. Abraham was speaking more to himself now. "You are simply a temporary phase."

Alucard's face froze with a rigid, wild smile. "Just a phase?" He laughed without changing his expression when Abraham nodded. "So you want to kill me faster by making me read the Journal?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you want me to read the Journal so quickly?" Alucard mocked Hellsing with a deriding tone. "If it fails to draw out one of those precious personalities, then you would have no hope left! What would you do then?"

"I have other means of bringing them back." Abraham said quietly, and Alucard misplaced his expression for a moment. His lips were lost somewhere between a frown and a smile.

Alucard's features twitched back to life. "You would use the seal?" he questioned in grim awe.

"Yes." Abraham stated flatly.

The beast let out a roar of laughter, looking at the ceiling. "I would die for you! And you don't give a shit about me!"

Hellsing flinched at the words, but his face darkened as he nodded.

"Fine!" the vampire suddenly snapped, turning away from Abraham. He walked towards the wall with deliberate steps, looking over his shoulder when he met the wall. "I'll be sure to die soon Master. Just as you wish."

"Good." Hellsing replied. A flicker entered the vampire's eyes and he smirked, disappearing from the room.

*~*~: . + . :~*~*

Out in the hall, Alucard continued forward, moving through the wall into the room adjacent to Abraham's office. Flickering scarlet eyes ran down the length of the long, empty table, and a daggered grin corrupted the beast's perfect features with quiet humor. Suddenly, his outline wavered as he lunged forward, his hands almost grazing the floor when he swung them down and up into the bottom of the end of the table, flinging it through the air. The piece of furniture jerked, the lithe wood bending in the center before the force spread out and the table straightened to its usual shape, wobbling and rotating rapidly as it moved across the room. On its second rotation, the end smacked into the ceiling, throwing the table straight into the hard floor where it buckled and cracked, but went on to rebound and soar haphazardly, twisting in an unpredictable way, flinging chips of wood and even one of the two massive legs away from it. The table struck the side wall, rolling across its face, skimming the perimeter of the room. Its momentum slowed abruptly, and it toppled on its side, hitting the ground, and it teetered before falling to settle upside down.

The whole event produced a tremendous amount of noise, which drew Abraham out of his seat and immobilized his legs for the endurance of the thundering commotion. He used the edge of his desk to pull himself around it, and then sprinted out of the room, throwing the door open. He skidded to a halt in the hallway, looking up and down it, ignoring the servants and the two hunters who were coming to investigate, before he looked straight ahead of himself. He entered the conference room, and froze, his hand still on the door handle. The table lay in ruin while deep gashes marred the walls along with chunks of paint that had been scrapped away. This trail of white, paintless wall, carved out a scar, accompanied with other scratches, that illustrated the path the table had taken. Trickling dust alerted Hellsing to the hole in the ceiling, and his eyes traced the fall of the particles to the indents on the wood floor.

Though the vampire was nowhere in sight, Abraham knew Alucard was the one responsible for the destruction and a growl rumbled in the man's chest as he almost threw the servant who arrived behind him, to the side as he exited the room and stalked down the hallway, heading for the dungeon while gasps sounded in the air behind him.

*~*~: . + . :~*~*

Abraham skipped steps as he descended into the dungeon, and then jumped from the second to last step. He strode down the corridor, his boots clashing harshly on the stones. Then, one of his steps made a moist sound, and his foot crushed something relatively soft, yet bumpy. Abraham gasped and jumped to the side, trampling another squishy object. He peered down in the gloom, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the poor lighting. The man went rigid, and his feet shuffled backwards in shock when his vision produced the form of a dead, mangled…mouse. Hellsing's head whipped around, orbs flashing at the countless little corpses that varied in size. Some were large, grey rats, while some even appeared to be brown field mice that should have been living outside the mansion. Most of the bodies were closer to the walls, as if they had been kicked there. The dots of blood on the stones of the wall, supported this. Hellsing felt sick and he snarled as he remembered how attached Alucard used to be to the little mice, petting and even pampering the creatures with bouts of cuddling. Now the descendants of these rodents were strewn about at Abraham's feet. The man went forward, seeing a dark shadow of a figure arise in the gloom.

The care taker was beside himself, babbling about a sea of rodents followed by a cruel, blood drenched slaughter. Hellsing bade the man to return to the upper levels of the mansion, and he carried on after the care taker was well on his way. Abraham's boots clicked together as the man stood, tall with blue eyes of fury, before the cell door. He didn't have the keys, but that didn't matter as a lock clicked and the door creaked open on its own accord. Hellsing glared at the door before he thrust it open with a single hand.

The beast's serrated smile flashed at Abraham, a lantern obtained from the care taker dangling, parallel with the man's face. Abraham's features were cast in red, making them glow and flicker with the flame in the lantern.

"What do you think you are doing?" Abraham asked in a hushed, emotionless voice.

Alucard cocked his head, moving his hand slowly over the surface of the casket he was sitting on. He chuckled behind the fangs, but did not answer.

"What…" Abraham repeated coldly, his voice louder now. "…do you think you are doing?"

"I'm sitting, Master." A calm, but humored voice returned. Abraham's body jerked, causing the lantern to swing slightly on the triangular handle that ended in the man's hand. The lantern lowered, making Abraham's face darken.

"You devastated one of my rooms and you killed all of those creatures…littering the dungeon floor with their bodies…" Abraham's voice shook and soon fell to a deadly whisper. "…just to get back at me?"

The beast chuckled again, the sound building off of the stones. "I suppose…Master." The vampire sneered.

"You." Abraham breathed, his knuckles straining in firsts by his sides. "You have no right to seek revenge against me, Slave! You shall never damage my house or my possessions ever again! And you shall never kill animals like this, or ever!"

Alucard tilted his head to the other side, his hair whispering and shifting with the movement as he smiled with bright, blood red eyes. "You miss the pathetic vermin? Master?"

Abraham growled, seething with indignation. "Never again, Slave!" He ordered, glowering into the red eyes. The monster only held his smile. "Why?" Hellsing burst out with a roar. "Why did you kill them?"

"So their deaths bothered you the most?" the vampire scoffed, and leaned back, spreading his hands behind himself casually.

"I know what you meant by drawing them out, specifically, and killing them!"

"Ah, yes. The adoration the other had for the pests." Alucard scowled, his lips rippling over his fangs. "But I've killed them all, Master. All of them are burning in Hell."

Abraham gasped a breath, welling with hatred. "Hell?" he hissed. "You are the only demon within these walls that will be driven to that domain!"

"Even if 'I' suddenly adopted those other personalities?" the vampire laughed at the repulsion in his Master's expression. "No, they would go to Heaven…in your eyes…."

"JUST ROT IN HERE!" Abraham bellowed, hearing his own words thrown back at him as they reverberated off the stones. He slammed the cell door so that his voice would be eaten by the much more violent sound, but both rung in his ears as he marched up the stairs and out of the dungeon.