Author's Note:

Hey guys!

I'm so very sorry that it took me so long to update. And it's not a future chap but an "extra" chap that should fit somewhere after Jess moved in with Rory and before she went to visit Tristan. I added it between chapter 25 (when they have sex and she tells him she wishes she was brave enough to give him a ultimatum) and 26 (when she gets really pissed off and decides to go to Boston to spend some time with Tristan).

This chapter was written almost a year ago but I could never find a way to use it in the story and since I'm pretty sure I won't be able to use it in the future I decided to just fit it in between two past chaps. I hope you like and review it. It'd be very important for me.

Also, I just need to proof read next chap so I'll be posting it in the next few days.

I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed this story, specially those who have reviewed it recently. It inspires me to keep writing.

Chap 26

He stepped into the bedroom and froze when he found a naked Rory on the bed, except for a pair of tiny black panties that were way too sexy for her to be comfortable wearing. She was stretched on the bed with her hands over her head, almost touching the headboard and a long silk scarf on her hands. She was blushing furiously, more flushed than he had even seen her, and it was not only her face but her whole body.

He instantly knew she was trying to make one of his fantasies come true and he had to smile at her effort, knowing how difficult it was for her to be there, exposed and vulnerable before him despite her insecurities and self-consciousness.

He walked to the bed as she watched him, looking up at his warm brown eyes. "Hi," she said quietly, blushing even more if it was possible.

Jess sat by her side on the bed and watched the quick rise and fall of her chest and her slightly trembling hands. This was all wrong. "I wanted to surprise you," she told him in a shaky voice.

He smiled warmly at her. "Believe me, you surprised me," he told her, running his fingertips lightly from her collarbone, between the valley of her breasts and to her navel. She visibly shivered and her breath caught in her throat. He bent down and kissed her slowly, not pushing for anything more than an innocent kiss. He pulled away about an inch, his lips still almost touching hers. "You remember when I broke my leg and I told you some of my fantasies and all that?"

She nodded.

"You remember what I told you?"

She knew where he was getting; trying to tell her that she shouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with. So before he could make his point she cut him off, "Jess, I want this."

He snorted and shook his head, "No, you don't. You're scared and shaking and uncomfortable. That's definitely not in the fantasy," he tried to joke but she remained in the same position.

"Jess, please, do this with me," she begged, her eyes becoming watery.

He leaned forward and hugged her, nuzzling her neck, "I can't do this. It'd just feel wrong. I know you are trying to please me, but not this way."

She started to cry, "I need you to do this."

The desperation in her voice started to worry him, "Why?"

"Because…" she sighed, "Just because."

He shook his head, "Give me one good reason."

"Because I can't have you do this with someone else. I know, it's insane, but I just can't!" Now she was openly crying, "So, please, just do it already!"

He looked shocked at her and felt guilty, because he knew that even though she had been screwed up long before he came into the picture, the tears that were desperately falling down her eyes now were because of him.

He took the silk scarf from her hand and she closed her eyes, willing herself to remain calm as she waited for him to tie her hands. But nothing happened, and after a few minutes she opened her eyes. He was in the exact same position; looking down at her with warm chocolate eyes. The only difference was the scarf in his hands.

"I'm not tying you up today," he announced, and only after he heard the words out loud he realized how weird they really sounded.

She looked at him pleading, "I promise it'll be good," then she looked down, unsure, "well, at least as good as it can be with me." She shrugged, "I'll do whatever you want."

He shook his head and took her hands in his, rubbing her wrists to make her circulation go back to normal. "I'm not doing that with you tonight. I'm not saying we'll never do it. I'm just saying tonight it's not gonna happen."

She looked at him, sad and in defeat.

"I'm not gonna do that with anyone else; I swear," he stopped and looked deep into her eyes. "But we are going to talk and it's gonna be right now. I don't care if I have to tie you to this bed for a week; we're talking about sex tonight."

Rory sat up, ready to get out of bed when she felt his hands on her shoulders pulling her down on the bed. "I'm serious, Rory. I've tried to talk to you about it a hundred times and you always change the subject," he shook his head. "This affects you much more than you let on and I'm tired of seeing you feeling bad about yourself because of sex. You have issues about it that we could have already fixed if you'd just talk to me."

She looked to the side, "There is nothing to talk about."

He ignored her, "I know that what I do for a living bothers you, but can you be more specific about why?"

She turned to him disbelieving, "Are you seriously asking that?"

He just kept looking at her the same way.

She sat down, leaning against the headboard and brought the sheets around her as she was getting self-conscious. "Jess, there is no point on talking about it. It doesn't matter why I hate what you do; you still have a client tomorrow night."

"Just… entertain me, okay?"

"Fine," she gave in a bit pissed off, "I hate to think of you with other women. I want you to be only mine."

He just nodded, encouraging her to go on.

"And it makes me insane when I get into a room and smell the same perfume that you smell like when you come home from 'work'. I keep wondering if the woman wearing it is your client, if you two-"she stopped, looking down.

When she didn't continue he prodded, "If we…?"

In a smaller voice she continued, "If you two have something. If you feel something for her. If she is better than me. More beautiful, more intelligent, more interesting, and especially if she is a better fuck. I keep wondering if one day you'll go to 'work' and you'll just… not come back. If you're going to leave me. If I'm not enough."

"If I tell you that's crazy you won't believe me, will you?" She looked at him from the corner of her eye and he knew the answer. "Okay, so why do you think you're not good in bed or that you're not enough for me in some way?"

"Look at what you do for a living! You know you are amazing and that your clients are crazy about you. Beautiful, rich, experienced women. Now, look at me! Do you know how many guys I've slept with? Three; Tristan, Logan and you! That's how pathetic and inexperienced I am. I don't know how you still haven't gotten bored with me," she confessed.

He wanted to correct her, tell her he didn't care about half of the things she was talking about and that in reality she was nothing like she was describing herself. But he knew if he did that she'd stop talking and he possibly would never get her to talk so openly about sex and her issues with it with him again.

"That's for me to know. Now about your ex-boyfriends..."

Rory's eyebrows shot up, "What?" She turned to stand up, "I have to put on some clothes."

He held her by the wrist, pulling her gently back to the bed. The way she was exposed, naked and talking about something she considered too personal to talk about, probably with anyone, while he was in control, clothed and making the questions was really getting to her and making her even more uncomfortable. He looked at her in understanding and started taking of his shirt, than his pants and boxers. Soon, while she was in her panties he was completely naked in front of her.

She sat there looking at him with big doe eyes and accepting that this time there was no way out, "What do you wanna know?"

"Tristan seemed like an okay guy," he said with some difficulty. "Why didn't it work out?"

"When I met him he wouldn't stop tormenting me; he'd call me Mary, like Virgin Mary," she blushed, thinking that that's how she still felt next to Jess. "Well, he was the King of the school and he would ask me out all the time and I would turn him down every time. Eventually, I ended up accepting, one thing led to another and we started dating. Tristan was a great boyfriend; we really cared about each other. I don't know, maybe we were in love. But then it just didn't feel right; I loved him, but not in that way. Sex became awkward; think of having sex with your sister – if you had one." Jess made a face and she chuckled. "Well, I think he started feeling the same way so we agreed it'd be better to break up. After that we became even closer, real best friends as you saw."

"Yeah, a little too close in my opinion," he said and she rolled her eyes but smiled. "But he is fine. So, what about this Logan guy?"

"Logan…" she sighed. "He was a rich bastard who treated people like he could simply buy them. But for some reason I fell for him. He told me he wasn't the boyfriend type so we started with an 'open relationship' but then he got jealous and we ended up dating. One day we had a fight and he thought we had broken up so he simply went and slept with the whole bridal party of his sister's wedding. The one I was part of. God, they wouldn't stop talking about him and comparing… After that I broke up with him, changed schools and my major."

He was impressed about how much she changed her life because of a guy, "Why you went so far to get away from him?"

"Harvard had been my dream college my whole life but for some crazy reason I ended up going to Yale instead. But after what happened it just sounded crazy to stay there. And well, I studied journalism and if I kept my major it'd be inevitable to run into him. He owns almost the whole business."

He nodded and got closer to her, running a hand through her hair. "Is it possible that Logan made you feel unworthy because of the cheating thing, which doesn't help since I have to sleep with other women for a living, and the fact that your two previous boyfriends sounded like womanizers, which you probably also consider me, made you feel insecure?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and tilted her head, "Have you ever thought about being a shrink?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, for one day, then I figured I was too screwed up to try and listen to other people's problems."

There was a short comfortable silence before she broke it, "So, can we have fun now?"

He shook his head, "We haven't finished talking."

She played with the hem of the sheets, biting her lower lip, "I'm getting uncomfortable," she confessed.

He brought her closer to him and kissed her slowly. The kiss wasn't long and when it finished he rested his forehead against hers, "You wanted me to tie you down, right?"

She nodded, blushing.

"So, that means you trust me?"

She hesitantly nodded again.

"Okay, then just trust me in this, okay?"

"Jess, please-"

He nuzzled her neck to whisper in her ear, "Close your eyes. I promise it won't be that bad." She did as she was told and he gently pulled her down to the bed with him, laying next to her. "Rory, I've never lied to you about anything and I promise not to lie to you now. But I need you to do the same, okay?" She made a face, tilting her head to the side. "Look, I know you're nervous and embarrassed but you have no reason to be. I just want to help you get over what these idiots – including myself – did to make you feel this way. I won't judge you or hold anything against you."

She knew he was telling the truth and she trusted him, so she sighed and, even though it went against her natural instincts, she nodded, "Okay."

He cupped her face and ran his thumb down her cheek and lips, "Why are you so insecure about how I feel about you?"

She sighed heavily, "It's just... you're so... you know? People... women usually... they feel drawn to you. And I can see why. I just don't get why you're with me. I just feel like I'm not... enough?

A moment later she could feel the bed move and his lips on her ear. "You are; I need you to know that you are. I think that there is this thing about two people… that they just are or aren't special to each other; no reason whatsoever." He kissed her neck, his lips still touching her flesh, "And you are special to me."

Her breathing was irregular and he could clearly see how their conversation was affecting him. "Tell me you believe me," he asked.

"I do," she answered in a shaky voice.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, "Okay, next question; since you found so hard to tell me what you like in bed let's start with something you don't like to do in bed?"

She was blushing furiously and even though she wasn't looking at him, she knew he was watching her like a hawk. He had asked her to close her eyes so she would feel more comfortable since she wouldn't be looking at him, but apparently it wasn't making much difference. He gave her a light nudge, "Hey, remember, there is no right or wrong."

She bit her lips, "I don't like it when things get too rough. It makes me uncomfortable, a little scared. As much as I try, I just can't get myself to enjoy it."

First he froze, then his blood started boiling because he knew that if Rory was calling it 'rough' it must have been much more than that. She was always very submissive, trying to please in whatever way she could even if it meant doing things she didn't want to. And he would bet good money he knew who did that to her. "What do you consider 'too rough' Rory?" he asked with his voice as calm as he could manage.

She gave a small fake smile and shook her head, "This is just me being stupid. It's nothing, actually; just normal stuff."

He bent his head and kissed a spot on her ribs just under her right breast, "Ror… no lying, remember?"

She took a deep breath, "Too much force, grabbing, hitting, leaving marks and bruises… he probably didn't even know what he was doing. He was drunk most of the time back then-" she suddenly stopped noticing she had said too much.

Jess had to remind himself that he had promised not to judge anything she said and therefore he couldn't just scream and tell her he wanted to beat Logan up until he passed out. So instead he continued with the same calm voice, "And you think that justifies what he used to do?"

"Jess I was there because I wanted to. I went through that because I wanted to," she reminded him.

"No, it wasn't because you wanted to. It was because you are so insecure that you'd pretty much do anything to keep your boyfriend. You always seek to please the guy first instead of trying to find your own pleasure. It was the same thing with me; when I told you what I liked you were almost apologizing in advance if you weren't good at those things!"

"Is there a problem in wanting to please my boyfriend in bed?"

"If it makes you feel uncomfortable or if you don't get to come because of it, then yes, there is!"

She took a moment before answering, "You know you always makes me come. I think you wouldn't let yourself come if I wasn't just as satisfied."

He nodded even though she couldn't see, "I always do that because I know that if I don't you'd spend a whole year fucking me every day, not having a single orgasm, and still wouldn't say a word about it," he stopped. "What about Logan?"

She tensed, "What about him?"

"Was it like that with him, too?"

She blushed harder and turned to the opposite side of where he was. "You know it wasn't. He was my opposite; he just cared about himself."

He placed a hand on her arm and pulled her gently towards him. "I'm not trying to upset you; you know that, right?"

She nodded, "I know. But it still hurts… remembering everything."

"I know," he spooned her, comforting her the best way he knew.

She sighed, "You know, I have a question."

He smiled, strangely happy that she was feeling comfortable to ask him things, "Okay."

"I was thinking about that conversation we had and the things you've said you have done… you really did all that?"

He stroked her hair. "Yeah, but what is the one thing that won't stop bothering you?" he asked knowingly.

She was quiet for a moment, wondering if she should tell him or not. Then she spat in anger, "Ménage à trois, Jess? Two girls at the same time? Really, how can someone compete with that?"

"How can you compete with that, you mean?" he corrected. "Simple, you just let me be on top sometimes, kiss me on that spot on the base of my neck towards my nape that you know that drives me crazy, hold me as close as you can and when you let me inside you, tell me how much you want me. That does the trick in a way that you can't even imagine."

"And how do the others compete with that?" she couldn't help herself.

He shrugged, "I don't know, I don't care. To tell you the truth I don't think ménage à trois is all that; it's overrated. I know none of them could compete with you when you moan my name as if you were begging for more."

She blushed, "Most times I am begging for more."

He grinned. "About the bondage… why were you so scared? You were shaking", he said lacing their fingers.

"I just couldn't help but wonder what would have happened once you had me tied down, if it would make you change. When Logan drank… I'm not comparing and I know I'm being totally irrational… but I don't know what would have happened if I was to let him tie me up."

"Good thing you'll never know, then," he said, kissing her shoulder. "But I was serious before, I don't want you doing anything you don't feel like doing."

"Can I open my eyes?"

"I don't know? Can you?"

She opened her eyes and turned to him, looking him in the eyes, "I still wanna do the thing with the scarf with you."

He kissed her shortly. "You know, I have some ideas to help you get over all these stuff we talked about – most of them involve sex, so you'd have to completely trust me. I mean it; blindly." She nodded her head as she chewed her bottom lip.

"Most of these stuff will make you feel a bit uncomfortable in the beginning but just go with me, okay?" She nodded. "Okay, so let's start with the scarf thing as you said?"

Again she nodded, took a deep breath to will herself to remain calm and stretched her arms over her head. She was surprised to feel him next to her, in the same position with his hands over his head. Then he did something she had never expected; he handed her the scarf.

"Jess?"

"You know how you keep saying it's not just about you? Well, it has to be sometimes. You always let others be in control; I want you to learn how it feels to be in control. I want you to explore, to find out what you like and don't like."

"That's not your fantasy," she protested.

"Rory, tie me to the headboard while I tell you something." She looked wearily at him and then to the scarf. He nodded to his hands, "Go on." She slowly laced the scarf around one wrist, making a tight knot.

"You know, I've never been good with people, I've never had a serious relationship. And after I started this job I thought I'd never have, that no interesting woman would want to have something besides meaningless sex with a gigolo," he paused. "And then you came along. All nervous and shy, blushing for ridiculous reasons and treating me like you really had a crush on me and wasn't just using me."

She smiled unsure and looked from her task to him, "You sure you wanna do this? We don't have to."

"Keep working," he said with a smirk and she obliged. "I have some fantasies, you know that. But there is one I never told anyone cuz I never thought it could actually come true." He paused before confessing, "I didn't believe I could actually make love to someone, you know? Like have a relationship that worked with someone that cared about me and didn't look down on me because of what I do. Someone that felt so much for me that sex was more than just pleasure and lust. That you still wanted that person even after you were satisfied."

She finished her task, straddled his six-pack and looked into soft warm brown eyes that were so unsure and vulnerable. He was exposing himself just as much as she had just had, only it was in his own way.

She slowly leaned down until his lips were ghosting the shell of his ear and whispered, "Jess… I love you."

His eyes went wide and his lips searched for hers. He tried to hold her but the scarf wouldn't let him and for a moment he regretted asking her to tie him up. She kissed him slowly and deeply, taking her time. When she pulled away his head hit the pillow and he looked at her in amazement, "I've never had anyone-"

"Yeah, I figured." She smiled down at him.

He watched her overwhelmed, "I-"

She shook her head, "Don't. You don't have to say it. And if you say it now it'll feel like you're just doing it out of obligation."

He closed his mouths for a minute but kept his eyes intently on her before whispering, "But I do."