Hello everyone, and guess who didn't take a MONTH past update date to actually do anything! :D
Go on; take a guess.
The answer? My cat.
Anywho, this story now has its own cover picture, which I had been meaning to make for… a long time. But alas, procrastination… But I finally drew it, so we're good now ^^"
Disclaim of –er: I do not claim to own FMA, or even claim to pwn it.
First up today is: winrykatbell!
Dear everyone,
Have some punch, except Tucker; he gets punched in the face *punches Tucker*
Tucker: *reels with resigned look*
Dear everyone, I used the TARDIS to save Nina by replacing her with a girl who was about to die anyways, and made a clone of Hughes to save him.
Edward: Very kind of you… *distracted and goes off, hugging Nina tightly when he thinks no one is looking*
Nina: *squeals*
Elicia: *tackles Hughes* Daddy!
Hughes: *grins* Princess! *hugs*
Gracia: *joins family bear hug*
Dear Winry and Mei, you are my favorite characters and I ship you with the Elric brothers.
Winry: Thank you… Although shipping me with that alchemy freak-
*cut off by loud squeal from May*
May: *glomps Al*
Alphonse: *sweatdrops*
Dear everyone,
There was a truth potion in the punch, and here is a bottle to use in an emergency. It will wear off somewhere in the next chapter.
Everyone: *poker face of screwed-ness*
Dear Winry,
Do you love Ed, as in 'kiss and marry' love?
Winry: *blurts* Yes. *pause*
Edward: *face goes red*
Winry: I swear I didn't mean to say that! *blushing*
To Al,
Same question about Mei, and let us destroy those who abuse animals. I have some cadets.
Alphonse: Ha! Can't drink truth potion with no body!
May: *watching with wide, sad eyes* Alphonse… Won't you tell me what you feel about me…?
Alphonse: *immediately self-conscious* Um… Well, I um… *leans over and whispers in her ear, very shy and nervous*
May: *eyes sparkle* Oh, Alphonse! *tackle hugs*
-later-
Alphonse: I'm up for some justice. Sure! *sudden evil laugh and goes off to destroy animal abusers*
Oh boy, am I in on that party. LET'S GET 'EM!
Oh wait. Before I head off to war, I should probably finish this chapter… Next up is ThatCrazyGuyDownTheAlley!
Ed! I did it! *shoves Ed into a ton of milk then transmutes the calcium into bones and makes Ed taller* Now you aren't a midget! Welcome to the 6' club, bro! Also… *transmutes Ed a new door of Truth* And now you have alchemy.
Edward: *grins before cackling maniacally* Oh boy, do I have a lot of "work" to catch up on… *runs off*
Me: Well now you've created a monster. Who is probably going after Roy as we speak. *facepalm*
Edward: *runs up to Roy* GUESS WHAT, COLONEL BASTARD?!
Roy: … *looks at height difference before pouting* It'll be reset by next chapter.
Edward: …But I'm still taller than you at the moment. BASK IN MY TALL GLORY!
Roy: *sighs*
What would you do if Pokémon were real?
Edward: World domination!
Alphonse: *loud sigh* Of course you instantly jump to world domination. I would just love to be with all of the cute cat Pokémon… *hums*
Roy: Have the smarter ones do my paperwork…
Riza: Keep the colonel in line and make sure he is the one doing the paperwork.
Roy: *pouts*
*giggles like a completely insane person would* YAAY! I GET TO KILL PEOPLE! *laughing like a madman*
Everyone: …
Kimblee: Get the feeling I might regret this. Oh well. *shrugs and heads off*
Oh, and Ed? You are REALLY short, but that's okay! Because being short is good. I'm 6'2" and I hate being tall. I hit my head on everything! So embrace your shortness!
Edward: *laughing evilly* NOT ANYMORE! *running around and giggling every time he bumps his head on a doorway*
Eh, I'll let him enjoy it for this chapter. Resetting it next chapter for fear that he will attempt world domination and mass conquest, but I'll let him enjoy it for now. Next up is purplepencils!
Roy, Riza, Ling, and Lan Fan,
Do you guys know what kind of similarities you have? It's uncanny! Roy and Ling are looking to rule their own countries, and go through hell to get there. You guys are both goofy, comical, badass, and freaking awesome on the battlefield. Not to mention you're both mighty fine, but then that goes without saying…
Roy: I wouldn't say I'm "goofy" and "comical"…
Edward: Except when you get wet, because that's damn hilarious.
Roy: *glares but otherwise ignores*
Ling: *shrugs* Guess I never really thought about that. I never really spent much time around the colonel, so…
Riza and Lan Fan. Like, dayum, gurls. Both super skilled, beautiful, calm and collected, and just generally the warriors. You both would die for your men without thinking, of course, right? And you're both really advanced in your own rights; Riza with guns and Lan Fan with her… well, pretty much everything but a gun.
Riza: Of course I would die for… my certain someone, but he tends to get a bit upset when I think along those lines. Although he really shouldn't be so hypocritical.
Roy: …
Lan Fan: Who said I wasn't skilled with a gun? I can still use them, and aim them accurately, although I prefer not to. Guns do not have spirits, and are cold and lifeless, unlike swords, knives, kunai, and shuriken.
And the fact that the Homunculi use your relationship against you (Riza's transfer, Lan Fan's impersonation by Envy), and you boys totally flipped! And btw, both your pairings are canon and super cute… NOW KISS
Riza: *doesn't really move to kiss but kind of moves closer to Roy*
Roy: *leans in quietly*
Ling: *shrugs* Good luck with th-
Lan Fan: *bows head before quickly kissing Ling on the cheek and promptly hiding behind her mask*
Ling: *shocked* L…Lan Fan?
Did you guys ever notice the mirror between you? I could name more parallels, but this is getting long, so… Alexander (the dog), CUDDLE WITH ME! I love giant pups like you! Den and Hayate must JOIN US.
Alexander: *glomps gleefully*
Den: *trots over and licks*
Hayate: *bounds up and flops on top of literal dog pile*
I guess Alex (Armstrong) can give me a hug too?
Armstrong: CERTAINLY! *tackle hugs and sparkles drift around*
All great couples/ships (Edwin, Royai, Lingfan, Almei, Sigumi, Bross, Milestrong, Havoc/Rebecca, etc.),
Okay, this has to be written comically. Are you all ready? Cuz it's scenarios-come-to-life time. *magic makes all these pairs trip and crash into each other. Some catch the other, others hug awkwardly, and some end up in really, REALLY hilarious positions, some more compromising than the rest. One of these pairings kiss (CAN'T BE SIGUMI)*
Roy: *holding Riza, having saved her from falling, with faint blush*
Riza: *looking away and blushing*
Edward and Winry: *completely tangled up and not daring to move for fear of making it worse, although they are pressed right into each other*
Lan Fan: *caught against Ling in hugging position but doesn't try to move*
Ling: *small smile as they stay like that*
Izumi: *holding Sig in her arms above the ground, as she saved him from falling* Are you all right, dearest…?
Sig: *smiles* Of course, Izumi…
Miles: *sweatdrops as he tries to untangle himself from Olivier*
Olivier: *squirming*
Alphonse: *holding May in his arms*
May: *quickly kisses Alphonse with a smile*
Alphonse: *starts stuttering and blushing* M-May…!
Maria: *inches away from Denny* You all right…?
Denny: *nods before going rigid, summoning up his courage before pulling Maria into a hug*
Maria: *mouth falls agape and blushes furiously*
Obviously, I had a lot o' fun there… :3
Next up is onee-chan!
*squeal!* I just finished reading this doujinshi about how lil Oliver was a good big sis to her siblings! Although dressing up like a grizzly was a bit too much.
Olivier: *eye twitch* We do not make mention of doujinshi here…
*nudges Miles* See? You have a great future wife there!
Miles: *poker face*
Olivier: *glares*
Miles: I'll, ah… Go get to work… *flees*
Next up iiiiiiiis Mindscape-v2903!
*Anonymous Curtis child*: *wraps arms around Izumi, keens for a bit longer before calming down*
*slightly muffled* Thanks, Mom… I-I hope I can stay here for a bit longer… *lifts up head to look back at me* I-if it's all right with Mindscape. I-is it?
*Me*: *looks on smiling, nods* Meh. I suppose you could stay with her for as long as you'd like. You know, spend some quality time with your mum and such. *glances up at Izumi, giving heartfelt smile* You need it, the two of you. And besides, you still haven't met Ed or the rest of the FMA crew yet.
*Anonymous Curtis child*: O-oh yeah. *rubs eyes, gives a small smile* I remember Mr. Edward Elric getting all mad n' angry whenever someone called him short back in my world. *glances over at Dfire* Is he any different here?
Edward: 'Course I am, right?
Me: Yep, he's a lot different here! (No he's not. Don't misinterpret my forced agreement.)
Dear Brothers Elric, Winry, Mustang, Hawkeye, Ling, Lan Fan, and May,
Assuming that Amestris's orchestral instruments are the same as ours (flute, violin, harp, cello, saxophone, etc.), or at least similar, what kind of instrument do you think would match you? (I personally think Alphonse would be a fine match for the violin, despite his armor size.)
Alphonse: Well, I would like to play violin, or maybe viola. *shrugs*
Edward: Drums for me. *hums a little* Basically, I get to hit things and make badass sound in the process.
Winry: Well… I do like the clarinet. It's a fun instrument that really challenges your finger flexibility. *laughs* (A/N: I know from personal experience that the clarinet is like a 12 finger instrument… Hard to accomplish with only 10. *rolls eyes*)
Roy: I prefer the bass myself. It's a sort of guiding instrument, meaning that it tends to have direct influence on the tempo of the group.
Riza: I took piano lessons with my mother, when I was a little girl… I've always loved the piano, but I've fallen out of practice.
Ling: Guitar for me, those things are awesome. I like the feel of the strings.
Lan Fan: Well… It's not really a well-known instrument, but I personally like the shakuhachi, a Japanese bamboo flute in your world. It's very beautiful.
May: I would like the piccolo, I think. It's a pretty, tiny little flute, and it's very interesting to listen to!
Everyone,
More pairings here! Your thoughts on this, please?
Lingfan
Ling: …*still in shock from earlier and blushing*
Lan Fan: I believe actions may be stronger than words in this case. *hiding behind mask*
Parental Edriza
Edward: Okay, she does kind of act like a mom… Especially for the whole team, y'know…
Riza: *small shrug* It happens…
Parental Edroyai (?)
Edward: The lieutenant, maybe. Colonel Bastard, no. But, of course, I ship the other pairing… *hint hint wink wink*
Roy: *death glare* Not you, too.
Edward: *sings* And caaaaaan you feeeeel, the LOOOOOOOVE toni-
Roy: *pulls out gloves with raging pyro look*
Edward: And that's all from me tonight, thank you all for being such a wonderful audience! *bows before fleeing*
Riza: *sighs a little while watching the two run around*
Parental Edzumi
Izumi: *thoughtful* Well, he and Alphonse are both like sons to me…
Edward: *mumbles under breath to Alphonse* When she isn't trying to kill us…
*knife is thrown and plants itself in wall inches from Ed's face*
Izumi: *evil smile* What was that, Edward? You know I dislike mumbling.
Edward: N-nothing, ma'am! J-just complimenting you!
Alphonse: *sweatdrop*
Izumi: *laughs sweetly* Oh, how kind of you!
Parental Izumay
Izumi: Well, I never got the chance to meet her…
May: *bows formally to Izumi* Greetings, ma'am, I'm-
Izumi: *cuts her off with a hug* Oh, darling! You're precious! I've heard so much about you from Alphonse!
May: R-really?! What did he say about me?
Izumi: He said you were a very kind, sweet young lady with a big heart. *smiles* And a cute panda!
Xiao Mei: *squeaks*
Parental Scarnina (I know this one is perhaps the most unlikely, and in the canon arc, virtually impossible, but I just wanted to know)
Scar: I do not know how I would quite feel about that relationship. I am unfit to show much parental care, and I also did not know this girl, other than when she was a chimera…
Nina: *glomps his leg* Your eyes are cooooool! *giggles*
Scar: …Thank you. *pats her head*
Sisterly Mayfan
Lan Fan: Despite being from different clans, we both now have personal interests in Amestris. Perhaps this could work out as a kind of link between us.
May: *shrugs a little* As long as she's nice to Xiao Mei.
Sibling Lingmay
Ling: Technically, you've already seen a lot of that relationship. Since we share the same dad and all that, y'know? *shrugs* But I like her. Rival clans don't mean that we necessarily have to be enemies.
May: *looks up at him and pouts* "Not necessarily"? I think the emperor made it pretty clear that he liked watching us fight each other…
Ling: Exactly. We don't have to play into his hands. *reaches down and offers hand* Truce?
May: *smiles a little and shakes his hand* Truce.
Hohentrisha (Teenage)
Trisha: *smiles* What I wouldn't bet that you looked exactly like Edward when you were his age. Of course, I like the "pairing"! I still remember when we first met, back in Resembool when I was only around sixteen.
Hohenheim: Little Ms. Boisterous, running into me while shopping…
Trisha: *laughs* I was in a hurry!
Hohenheim: Enough so that you didn't even look where you were going. Are you sure Edward got his rash nature from me? *grins*
Edward: *annoyed* I am not "rash"!
Trisha: Oh, he got it from you, dear. I was a sweet young girl.
Hohenheim: Highly debatable. *amused*
Dear Winry,
*quickly glances around to make sure no one's looking, stealthily hands her blueprints for Arc Reactor-powered flight-and-blaster-repulsor automail*
*whispers* Gipsy Danger is still being prepared, but I'll keep you posted 'til then. *holds out hand to be shook*
Winry: *has barely-contained fangirl attack before shaking hand with death grip, runs off with blueprints like a madwoman*
Me: Another monster released upon the world…
And now, for Dfire's sake, I'll show you guys just ONE picture stack for now, though I'm afraid this one is not too funny and giddy as you'd like. I guess this is slight punishment to Dfire for updating 35 days late… *gives slightly annoyed look at Dfire* (A/N: I'M SAWRY BRO ;-;) Anywho, here's the stack.
Stack 1: Gone
(WARNING: BLOOD, CHARACTER DEATH, AND FEELZ IMINENT. DON'T ASK ME WHY I WROTE THIS, JUST SUDDENLY FELT SO SOLEMN AND GRIM)
Pic.1: Maes Hughes is on his knees, looking up at the rain pelting down from the dark clouds. His outstretched hands and arms are covered in blood, and a painfully familiar bullet wound in his chest only stains his military uniform even more. Hughes looks up at the sky with an expression of agony and grief, but mostly grief, and despite the rain coming down, tears are visibly streaming down his face.
Hughes: *closes eyes and sighs softly, turning away*
Roy: *watching with horrified awe because he never saw Hughes after his murder*
Hughes: *wraps arm around Mustang's shoulders* Roy…
Roy: *bites lip sharply before taking deep breath* I… *inhales sharply again* What's done is done. And besides, you're here now…
Pic.2: An outraged and horrified Edward is desperately trying to reach down towards Winry's outstretched hand, who is looking on back at him with an expression of horror and pain on her face, tears building up in her eyes as she is pulled back and alchemically deconstructed by a dreadfully familiar mass of eerie black arms. Wind is billowing around the both of them, and blood-red alchemic lightning streaks across in some areas.
Winry: *covers mouth with hand in shock* This is… It's Human Transmutation…?
Edward: *nods weakly, eyes glued to picture*
Winry: *closes eyes before going over and hugging Ed from behind for comfort*
Edward: *doesn't object and softly ruffles her hair, looking away from the picture*
Pic.3: Winry is on her knees, tears cascading down her face as he holds a lifeless, pale Edward in her arms, their heads touching. Alphonse is kneeling beside her, turned away from his brother's body, one gauntlet covering the area where his eyes would've been, and the other balled into a fist pounded into the cobblestone ground in grief. Neither of them seem to notice the rain pouring down. Ed's automail arm lies in partial shambles, and blood from a wound in his head is running down his pained, still face and into his closed eyes, while more blood is seeping out of his slightly gaping mouth. But most of it is coming from a massive wound in his chest, staining his black clothing and turning his coat an even deeper shade of red.
Winry: *buries face against Ed, throat clenching up* Ed…
Alphonse: *not sure whether to keep looking at picture or avert eyes, hurt plain in his eyes*
Edward: *holds both of them closer* I'm still here…
Pic.4: Mustang is kneeling down on the ground, his eyes squeezed shut as tears run freely down his face, full of grief, as he holds a pale, limp Hawkeye close to him, their heads touching. Her eyes are closed, a look of pain on her face, her clothes are covered in blood from a slit in her neck, and her arm lies limp on the ground, letting more blood run down and gather in a growing, red pool. The dim, torch-lit brick-and-concrete environment indicates that they are both in the underground chambers directly above Father's lair.
Roy: *clenches hand into a fist, turning pale*
Riza: *rests her head against his shoulder, a sad look on her face* It didn't happen… It's not real…
Roy: *eyes are glazed with grief* Yes… You're right…
Pic.5: May is kneeling beside Alphonse's mangled armor body, sprawled on its back on the ground. Tears stream down her face as she holds his helmet close to her body while Xiao Mei hugs/clings onto the helmet as well, also wearing a look of grief. The cascading rain slowly washes away the blood on Al's seal, which has already been severed in two.
May: *covers eyes and quietly brushes tears that are welling up away*
Xiao Mei: *sitting on Mei's shoulder and doing the same thing, but with big tears wetting her fur*
Alphonse: May… *kneels down and pulls both of them into a gentle hug* I'm not going anywhere… Okay?
May: *nods and sniffles, still rubbing her eyes*
Pic.6: Ling is holding a bloody, limp Lan Fan in his arms, her eyes closed and automail mutilated, tears running down his face as he cries out in sorrow in the rain.
Ling: *turns away, hiding face in pain*
Lan Fan: My lord… It's only natural… It's just a risk of the occupation…
Ling: Don't say that… *mumbles, hurt*
Lan Fan: My lord…
Ling: *fist clenches and turns to her* Don't be so dismissive about this, Lan Fan… About your own life…
Lan Fan: *mouth opens as if to say something but closes it again and sighs instead* All right.
Well… ending on that sad note, next up is Immortal Horse!
Truth: *uses revival herb on Hydra*
Truth: *snaps fingers and Giratina finishes Shadow Sneak attack, hitting Stoutland hard*
Izumi: If Ed and Al had been much older when they trained under you, would you have made them spend a month up in Briggs?
Izumi: *shrugs* Probably. Although it would be annoying to deal with the Briggs patrol if they got captured.
Edward and Alphonse: *sweatdrop*
Next up is 9foxgrl!
Olivier, Scar, and… Ling?
What inspired this? *shows picture of Scar and Olivier having a culinary battle with Ling in the background making noodles. Miles and Buccaneer dressed as waiters* (Yes, this is a REAL picture)I think you three watched a bit too much Iron Chef. Wait! Ling, do you even know how to cook?
Olivier and Scar: …No.
Ling: *pretends to be offended* Of course I know how to cook! I had to cook for myself a lot, since not all the princes and princesses in Xing get servants or anything like that.
Pfft XD Iron Chef… Haven't watched that in a while. I think Al would be perfect as a contestant… ;)
Next up is Sasha Hughes!
Dear Maes-kun:
Have you forgiven Envy?
Hughes: *slight frown* It's a bit hard to say on that. He did kill me, and make me leave my family… But he was also just following orders, which I can understand… *winces* I know that I destroyed a lot of families in Ishval. Yes, I know he caused the war, but… Again, following orders, and to be honest, I think anyone living in a "family" like that for a hundred-seventy-five years would drive anyone mad.
Dear Mustang-san:
If you met with AltHughes (from Germany) what would you say to him?
Roy: Well… I would like him and hang out with him, but tell him to strongly avoid joining the Nazis… I know he's attempting to help his country-he did the same thing in this world-, but the hatred is wrong… And we couldn't have another Ishval on our hands. *sad look*
Dear Riza-san-chan:
Why have you never practiced alchemy before? Do you not like it? (Sorry if you've answered the question before)
PS: I love you *hugs*
Riza: Well… I've never been a huge fanatic about alchemy, but it's also because I don't always understand it. And thank you for the hug. *smiles and hugs back*
Dear and cute Elicia-chan:
Would you like to learn alchemy?
Elicia: *frowns* I'm not sure… Alchemy looks really hard…
Dear Breda-san:
Why are you afraid of dogs?
Breda: *shudders* I just don't like dogs. A dog bit me when I was little, and I've just never really had good experiences with them…
Next up is ZakuroU!
Dear Envy,
HA! TAKE THAT! MY COOKIE ATTACK HIT! U MAD BRO?!
Envy: *shoots death glare and throws cookies back at you*
Dear Roy and Riza,
Hey dudes, I was recently going back over your guys' life stories, and I hope you'll be pleased to know that you two were very cute when you were teenagers. XD
Roy: Uh… Thank you?
Riza: *small smile* Thank you.
Dear Al,
Would you like to have my cat enlist in your army? She's kinda anti-social, but she'd make a good soldier!
Alphonse: Sure! We need plenty of help, anyways, so she'd be welcome.
ValleyOfDeath is next! And maybe last. I'm running short on time :(
Dear Father,
The answer is a key.
A natural state, I'm sought by all.
Go without me, and you shall fall.
You do me when you spend,
And use me when you eat to no end.
Father: Simple, it's balance. Although I find that humans tend to have a weaker sense of balance…
A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first one is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?
Dear Roy,
You berated Edward about something I can't remember, which got you the evil eye from most everyone, and did the Macarena before dancing with a duck…
Roy: …Well. That's slightly… Awkward…
Edward: *snickers* Bet he was the life of the party.
Dear everyone,
"Life is a beautiful lie and Death is a painful truth."
Your thoughts?
Edward: *slightly grim* It certainly does feel like the truth sometimes.
Roy: I agree. Although I've just about given up on trying to work my thoughts around the secrets of the universe, sometimes I still can't help but think about that kind of thing.
Riza: Although, not all of life is quite beautiful…
Alphonse: *nods in agreement*
And that's about all for today… I typed as fast as I could for these past six hours, just trying to get caught up with all of the writing :P
I'll do the rest of the reviews from last chapter in a part two of this chapter. I'm just exhausted… And I probably won't be updating soon, since I'll be on a plane most of the day tomorrow, and I'll be in Hawaii on vacation for about six days. But I'll be back next Thursday, ready to work and refreshed from a much-needed break!
Purplepencils: Murr… Perfect ain't a great word for me… ^^"
Mindscape-v2903: Thanks for cutting back a little :) It makes it a lot easier to get to everyone's reviews… And no need to cram everything all into one review. After all, this story is my baby… So it won't be dropped. Not for a long time to go. So everyone has plenty of time to ask anything and everything they want :3
Bluefire21: Eh, I understand. If it weren't for my parents, I would have lost track of the series looooong ago. *laughs* But it's actually been fairly good as of late! And thanks!
Immortal Horse: *sweatdrop* Then you probably won't like the story I'm planning for the future. Envy might become semi-good character in it. *flees*
Sasha Hughes: I think your English is quite good! (Since, well… I know quite a few people that were born and raised speaking English, yet on the Internet, they have the most terrifying spelling and grammar… So you do just fine! Kudos, friend!) Also, I tend to act as a spelling and grammar check as I retype the reviews on this story. So you're good :)
ZakuroU: I wouldn't necessarily stress too much about SOPA. If it was brought down once, hey, we can do it again. Besides, I know no one that agrees to SOPA. So I think we're fairly safe. And… God. 400 reviews. *gasps and squirms on floor* WHAT THE LITERAL HEYHOUNDS
Thank all of you for reading! Until next time,
~Dfire