Hey everyone! So, a shorter chapter this time and the next time too because I've only been posting extremely long chapters recently and I feel like everyone is sick of it :)

Okay, so here it is and I might post chaprter 25 tomorrow just because these are both sort of little.

Also, just to be clear THE GENDER IS STILL UNDECIDED! Last chapter I said that so far most of the reviews had said girl but that's still up for discussion.

So, here's the chapter (again lol)

Enjoy!

Whatever. It. Takes.

~JuliaGoldsworthy

(p.s. The chapter is called Purity Or Pregnancy because to Becky it's like you're either pure or you're pregnant. Because in this story she's sort of OC and ignorant about stuff like that)

"I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me."

-We Are Broken

-Paramore.

It was the following Monday morning. I woke up in the still dark room, expecting to see Eli beside me before I remembered that he was starting to go in early on Mondays so he could get paid for the extra two hours each week. Since he didn't work Sunday nights at the radio station, he figured that Mondays were the best day to do this.

I turned over under the sheets and didn't really feel motivated to do anything. I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep for a few hours.

I decided to text Adam and Alli and let them know I wasn't coming into school. I could write some excuse note for myself and I'm sure that everyone at school would understand. Ever since the paint incident with Becky I'd felt more and more eyes on me as I walked down the hallway.

Alli texted back and let me know that she completely understood wanting to stay in bed all day and that she wished she could do the same. I smiled before turning over in bed and closing my eyes again.

"Clare!" I heard a voice say in the living room. For a moment I thought it was Eli before I saw Jake appear in the doorway. "Clare!" he walked over and bounced on the bed beside me.

"Jake?" I asked, wiping my eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you still doing in bed?" he retaliated.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Almost three." he said. "But I don't blame you for sleeping in so late. If I was pregnant then I probably would too."

I giggled at the thought of a pregnant Jake. "So why are you here?" I said again.

"I have to tell you what happened to your mom yesterday at church." he propped his elbow on the pillow and turned to face me.

"CeCe was at church?" I asked, my sleepy mind responding before my brain caught up to what he was saying. I guess I did picture CeCe as my mom. Helen wasn't there for me and CeCe was. She was what a mother was supposed to be.

"Helen?" he smiled.

"Oh," I rolled my eyes and put my elbow on the pillow and faced him. "What happened?"

"Well, normally I don't go to church because I find it boring and sort of dumb. I don't get the whole organized religion thing honestly. Like, why do I have to be with other people to learn about God, ya know? I have a Bible."

"You read the Bible?" I smirked, raising and eyebrow in disbelief.

"No, Clare, I have a Bible. Pay attention." he rolled his eyes in disappointment. "So, anyways, like I was saying, I don't normally go to Church but yesterday my dad made me because Helen was having some huge donation breakfast or something to do with food for the homeless. Anyways, we all had to go to support her and help out."

"Uh-huh." I said, not really caring to hear what my mom had been up to lately.

"So guess who was standing on the church steps when we walked up." he said.

"Who?" I asked.

"Becky Baker." he smiled.

I was confused. "What?"

"Yeah," he nodded excitedly. "She was standing there with, like, her whole youth group and they were all holding these signs with red paint on them and chanting, 'Purity or Pregnancy' and they were making like this huge protest over the baby."

"Okay, yeah, Jake. I don't know how this is supposed to make me feel any better." I said.

"Well your mom tried to get past them and Becky started going off on your mom."

I half smiled. "What did she say?"

"About how she was a horrible mother and how she was a bad person and something about how she was just as a big a sinner as you are."

"Well what did Mom do?" I asked.

"She flipped out and they started screaming at each other and calling each other all these names and Becky just kept on and on and finally told Helen that God, like, hated her and that she was going to Hell or something stupid and your mom freaked out and slapped her."

"Well, like mother like daughter I guess." I shrugged.

"You slapped Becky?"

"No, I meant we're both going to Hell." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah I slapped her."

Jake's eyes got wide. "Wow, you're really cut from the same cloth, huh?'

"Um, no because, unlike her, I'll actually be there for my child." I shook my head, not wanting to rehash the past. "So anyways, then what happened?" I asked.

"Well, my dad pulled Helen away and tried to tell her that we should just skip church for the week but she was like 'No, Glen, I do what I want.' and stormed through the doors and just went and sat down like nothing happened until the pastor came up to her and asked her to leave."

I smiled. "Did she leave?"

"Well, not without a fight." he said.

"She yelled at them?" I asked.

"No, Clare, she fought them." he nodded and I broke out into laughter. "She punched the pastor in the stomach and then two of the offering ushers had to come up and stop the whole thing. She tried to get them off of her but they ended up carrying her out of the building and put her in the car."

"She punched a pastor?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, and then this morning she got a call from one of her friends who works in the kitchen with her during second service who said that they were talking about banning her from the church for a year for what she did. That shes' a threat to the peace or something." he laughed.

"She would have no clue what to do without church." I said.

"She just sat on the couch in her church clothes all Sunday and did nothing. It was actually sort of sad until I remembered what a bitch she was to you and then I didn't feel sorry for her anymore."

I smiled as I thought about my mom without church. Then I thought about how I hadn't been to church in over four months. After I moved into the apartment, I stopped going. "I haven't been to church in so long." I said.

"Do you miss it?" he asked.

I gave it a moment of thought. "Yeah, I really do actually." While I didn't miss having to sit next to my mom for two hours each Sunday I did miss going. I missed hearing the sermon and I missed seeing everyone I'd grown up around. I missed the normalcy of it all.

"I'll take you to church." he said matter-of-factly.

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course. I mean, you don't want to go by yourself and I know Eli won't go with you because of the whole atheist thing so yeah, we can go next Sunday."

"Jake, that would be awesome. Thank you."

"Yeah, don't mention it. I'll pick you up at eight but for right now shut up so I can get some sleep."

"I thought you said it was almost three?"

"Yeah, so?" he asked.

I thought about it but then shrugged and turned away from him.

"Hey Clare," he said.

"Yeah?"

"You know you can come to me right? If you ever need anything?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"Good, because I love you and I want the best for you." he said. "In a completely not weird brotherly way." he clarified.

I nodded. "Thanks Jake. I love you too in a completely not weird sisterly way."

"Now, seriously, shut up I want to get some sleep." he said.

I closed my eyes again. It felt like they were only closed for a minute when I heard someone clear their throat in the doorway.

I looked up to see Eli leaning against the frame. "Should I be worried about this?" he asked, smirking.

"Dude, we were a thing for like, one month. It's over." Jake rubbed his eyes as he spoke.

"Are you talking about you and me or you and Clare?"

"No, Eli you know me and you are stronger than ever." Jake sat up in the bed to blow kisses which Eli pretended to catch and put in his shirt pocket.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Seven." Eli said.

"Oh, shit," Jake said, sitting up and putting his shoes on. "I have to get to work."

"Work?" I asked. "You have a job?"

"Duh, I have a job. What do you think I do plant flowers and smoke weed all day? No, I have a life, Clare." he walked towards the door.

"Well what shift starts at seven o'clock?" Eli asked.

Jake straightened out his plaid shirt and pulled at the ends of it. "Mine." he smirked before running a hand through his hair. "See you guys later."

I heard the front door shut and turned to look at Eli who was still standing in the doorway. "Are you jealous?" I asked.

"Of you? No, I know Jake's all mine." he nodded and pretended to brush his knuckles on his shirt. "I know you're no competition for what I have with him."

I laughed and he walked over to the bed to lay beside me. "Clare, I don't want to go to work." he said, putting his arms over me.

"I don't want you to go." I said.

"I have to." he said, shifting like he was going to get up.

"Eli, wait" I pulled him back next to me. "Why? Why do you have to do all this?"

"All of what?" he asked.

"Why do you work so much?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Clare you know why. I want to give this baby everything it deserves. It's that simple."

"Well how long is this going to last? Eli it's been three weeks and-" I didn't want to tell him how much I'd missed him. How I noticed when he wasn't there. I knew it would just make him feel worse. "And you've barely slept at all. You're always coming home late. Now you're going in early and working through all your lunches. I just-"

"Clare," he spoke before I had to. "I'm fine. I promise."

I sighed. "I guess I'm just worried about you, that's all." I said, honestly.

"Don't be." he said, pushing stray hairs out of my face. I closed my eyes so all I could feel was his fingers on my cheek.

"Are you sure you can't take off tonight?" I asked, opening my eyes.

"Yeah, I didn't start that long ago and calling off on such short notice wouldn't look very good on me. I just don't want them to think I'm going to do that all the time so-"

"I get it." I said. "But, while you're here," I pulled myself closer to him and he wrapped his arms around me. "Will you cuddle with me?" I asked.

His eyes scanned mine. He didn't say anything but he nodded and I turned over to face away from him.

I didn't fall asleep again. I didn't want to wake up and have him missing like I did this morning. I would much rather be awake while he was here and sleep while he was gone. Either way, I wish I wouldn't have to say goodbye to him again.

Okay so yeah, tell me what you thought!

As usual, tell me what you think the name and gender of the baby should be!

Bye!

Whatever. It. Takes.

~JuliaGoldsworthy.