It doesn't matter where you live or where you hide
Better watch your back, 'cause I'll find you
Pray that I won't pull the trigger when I see you
I'm the Assassin!

"Mercy Killer"

Sonny quietly sneaked into Nico's bedroom. She pulled out a Beretta pistol from underneath her leather jacket and chambered a round. The sound of the action sliding back its position woke Nico up from his sleep. He removed his eyemask and was very surprised to find a woman dressed in black clutching a pistol which was pointed at him. "What the heck?" he said. "Who are you!?"

"It's nothing personal, man," Sonny replied. "It's just business."

"No!" Nico shouted. "Please don't kill me! Please! Have mercy on me! Please don't kill me! I'm begging you, please! Don't kill me! Don't!"

"Will you shut up!?" Sonny told Nico. "Don't beg for mercy from me, all right?"

"Why? Do you have any qualms about killing me?"

"No, it's just that I'm a very merciful person. I was planning on killing you while you were asleep, but you had to wake up and mess up my whole plan…. So can you please just shut up when I'm trying to kill you?"

"But if you're really a merciful person," Nico asked, "why are you trying to kill me?"

"I'm an assassin!" Sonny replied. "That's my job! And if I don't kill you, my employer is gonna kill me! Can you just shut up and let me kill you?"

"You know, anyone you try to kill face-to-face is really gonna beg for mercy from you. So please, don't kill me! Please!"

"Shush!" Sonny looked at her gun with disgust then put it down on Nico's bedside table. "I knew that gun wouldn't work," she muttered to herself. Then she turned back to Nico and said, "Come closer."

"You want me to come closer to you?" Nico asked.

"Yeah, yeah, come closer, man."

"You're not gonna shoot me anymore?" There was a very obvious hint of hope in Nico's voice.

"No, I'm not gonna shoot you anymore," Sonny replied. "I'm gonna choke you to death!" And she laid her hands on Nico's neck and strangled him as hard as she could.

"Please! No! Don't kill me!" The words gurgled out of Nico's crushed windpipe. "Please don't!"

"Enough!" Sonny shouted. She let go of Nico and threw him back to his bed. "What the hell, man!? Your very face is just begging for mercy! Don't do that again! You're making it very hard for me to kill you!"

"You know, if you try to choke somebody-" Nico coughed as fresh air flowed back into his throat, "they're really going to beg you for mercy. So please, don't try to kill me no more. Please!"

"That's it," Sonny said. "No more Miss Nice Girl! I don't want to see your face. Lie down."

"You want me to lie down?" Nico asked.

"Who else am I talking to here? I said lie down!"

"You're not gonna kill me anymore?" Nico asked hopefully.

"What are you talking about? I don't want to see your ugly face pleading for mercy, so I'm just gonna smother you with this pillow!" Sonny grabbed one of Nico's pillows and brought it down hard on his face.

"Mmmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm! Hmm-hmm-mmm!" Nico moaned under the pillow. His limbs flailed about everywhere, vainly trying to force his attacker off of him.

"What the heck is wrong with you!?" Sonny shouted in desperation. She yanked the pillow off of Nico and threw it away. "Why is your voice even begging for mercy?"

"Are you high?" Nico asked Sonny weakly.

"I may not see your face, but I can still hear your pitiful voice! This is unbelievable!" Sonny facepalmed herself and sighed. Maybe she should just kill herself instead of this guy.

"You know, miss, to be honest, the things you want me to do are pretty impossible," Nico told her. "You don't want someone to beg for mercy when you're trying to shoot them. You don't want someone to beg for mercy when you're trying to choke them. And you don't want to hear someone crying for help when you're smothering them!"

"It's because I can hear your pitiful cries for mercy!"

"So, the key to killing me is you shouldn't see me and hear me beg for mercy!"

"Exactly!" Sonny replied. "But how am I to do that?" Suddenly a light bulb went on in her mind. "I've got it! Do you have some cotton balls?"

"Of course!" Nico said. "I've got some in my medicine cabinet, but there're some extra balls under my bedside table."

"Perfect!" Sonny grabbed two balls and plugged her ears with them. Then she noticed Nico's eyemask. "Can I borrow that?" she asked.

"Sure thing," Nico replied, handing over the eyemask. "Is it gonna fit you? It should; it's freesize."

Sonny put on the eyemask. Now she couldn't see or hear anything. "Perfect," she muttered. "Just perfect. Now don't move around so I can kill you," she told Nico.

"Oh, dear me, here it comes," Nico said to himself. "Please don't kill me! Have mercy on me!"

"I have you now!" Sonny took her pistol and pulled the trigger. The bullet struck Nico's left shoulder. He screamed in pain. Sonny removed the eyemask to see her handiwork. Instead she found her target clutching his shoulder.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked him.

"You hit me in the shoulder!"

"I told you not to move around!" Sonny replaced the eyemask and fired again. When she removed the mask, she saw Nico now clutching both shoulders. "Unbelievable! You're still not dead yet? Don't move! Don't move!" This time she fired three times. None of them struck any vital areas.

"Oh! The pain!" Nico shouted. "It hurts!"

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Sonny shouted. "Why won't you die?"

"You're sick!" Nico shouted back. "You're sick! You're a sick sadist son-of-a-gun!"

"I told you to stop moving around!"

"I've got wounds everywhere because of you!"

"That's because you're moving around when I'm trying to shoot you!"

"Give me your gun!" Nico ordered Sonny.

"Why? You're gonna try to kill me?"

"Just give me that gun! Gadzooks!" Nico checked the chamber to see if a round was still loaded. When he had confirmed that, he put the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger. Sonny, who had removed the eyemask and the cotton balls, saw in gory detail Nico's suicide. The sheer violence of the act made her cry in despair.

"I'm never gonna kill anyone again," she muttered through her tears.