Emily
I miss you. I keep turning over to pull you closer and you're not here. Work was afwul this new client kept on giving up, all begin is though you don't have to tell me that it's just my strength is not what it used to be. "Come on Em you have to come with us! You never have any fun lately. You always are very serious playing the victim. Come on! This will do you good." After seeing no way out and missing Hanna and my friends I went along.
"I want chicken wings and margaritas." I had been on the bride-to-be diet and now it was time to quit. If I was going to let myself go, I have to go all the way. We went inside in this dark bar, music crazy loud on the street, Hanna dragged us all in after seeing Ladies Night in Neon on the wall. "It's packed with single men. Watch out ladies." Spencer warned. "And single women. The men won't even look at me. What's wrong with me?" Hanna pouted. "There's nothing wrong with you Hanna." Aria comforted her what brought her in the spotlight. Hanna noticed the fact Aria was wearing her boring clothes again. One margarita down and I felt better now I'm switching it up to Tequila I can't remember the last time I had tequila. "When's the last time you heard from Paige?" Okay I might need to switch it up a little bit more. "We hear from each other daily Han." "Last time you two really talked?" I shrugged. "A couple of days ago maybe." "Drifting apart?" Aria asked, she has already offered her help before and now the truth is out due to her clothes she definitely wants to help. "I just freaked out last weekend." "What happened?" "I thought she wanted to have sex with me." I slurred the words out as fast as I could. "Score for Em!" "No Hanna, the keyword is thought. She didn't want to." No one seemed to know how to respond to that, thankfully I'm not the only one. "Guys its okay, I'm just having trouble finding my place in this all. I've been coming off another way those past weeks more to protect myself. I'm so tired of that, I'm crazy about this girl. She has made it very clear not to be in love yet with me, more so stating that it won't be happening anytime soon. Do you know what she does? She manipulates me. Yes that's what she's doing! Saying she wants to make me fall in love with her totally buying herself some time. I don't need to fall for her." I stole the girls shots and downed them one after one. "I already have." "Oh Em."
Deciding to cheer the table up I got up dragging them on the dancefloor with me. I looked up, a beautiful auburn haired woman in a black dress standing with a drink in her hand watching her friends dance. "Great is this the only place open tonight or what?" My friends turned their heads at my words in the direction I couldn't tear my eyes off. Tonight I'm wearing jeans with a black shirt, not caring to dress up. She's driving me crazy. "You could ask her to leave Em." People are looking twice, you should be blind not to notice her. "I don't want her to leave." Maybe I should ask her to leave, I'm happy that our paths are crossing but every single time I see her I want to tear my clothes off. I need another drink. "She's the one who started it." "To be fair you're the one who started it." Hanna stated. A couple start dancing right in front of me. I watch them for a moment and then my eyes drift over to the woman in the corner. "Emily?" Spencer calls out to get my attention again. "You're staring." I tore my attention away before answering. "I didn't mean to, I just can't look away." Hanna took my hand and led me to a quieter place. I told her I wanted to feel like how a married woman does, secure and loved. I wanted what I want to give to her, not living together makes me so insecure it doesn't keep other woman out of my head. Sleeping together would, I am sure as soon we take that step it would mean everything. "You're staring again." "Sorry" I said with a shrug. "Don't apologize. If I would swing that way I would totally have the hots for her too." My eyes snapped back at Hanna. "That's my wife we're talking about Hanna." She grinned at me. "Too bad she has dumb friends." "Hanna." I really didn't feel like going into that business right now. "I'm sick and tired of going back and forth Han."
Paige
"Hey you know I can maximum your fun on the dance floor." "Oh yeah? Did you forget I have the flavour?" I replied. She chuckled, I was happy my confidence was back. "Come on girl let's rock this floor." She took my drink out of my hands and gave it to a random person. She was swaying her hips in a very sensual way. I did notice her alcohol breath, she had some but didn't seem drunk just yet. "Oh Hey Paige! Thanks for coming!" Spencer flashed a genuine smile or it could be because Toby showed up. I was happy Spencer changed her elegant birthday party into this. "You look beautiful." I finally said touching her hand. "You do too." I stroked her cheek with my thumb. "Don't do that." She said. I let go of her. "No not that. Don't lie to me ever please." I sighed. "Your skin is so beautiful soft." I brushed my knuckles against her cheek, she was leaning into my touch. "Paige." She breathed out, she sent heat through my body as I read into the way she said my name. "You can take me at the pace you want." The progress in intimacy overwhelmed me and definitely set me thinking. I wanted to be sure to make it more beautiful. I leaned in holding her bottom lip between my teeth causing her to press against me. She leaned back a little and the pressure in my lower stomach eased a little bit. "Do you want to get some air?" I proposed, leaning forward brushing my lips against her earlobe. Getting some air was exactly what I wanted to do. It seemed the entire neighbourhood was inside under the heat of lights in the smoke and between the crush of swaying bodies.
We were walking hand-in-hand round the block, the air really doing some good. I sat her down on a bench, taking place next to her holding both of her hands. "I wanted to miss you and to need you in another way. I needed space to realise how much my life sucked without being able to see you all the time." I paused, bringing a hand up to cup her face. "You have to believe that I never lied, I'm still the same. I still believe in us, want us, need us. I was so scared Em, I was scared to freak you out I had to calm things down I was falling hard and fast and I always thought you were far from that. Your home my home." I was smiling nervously, praying my message would come across just right. When she still didn't say anything I took the folded little piece of paper out of my purse. Holding it with both hands due to my shaking. I tried to express myself the best as I could using words.
"From the moment our paths crossed you have surprised me, distracted me and mostly challenged me in a way I have never been challenged before. With you I have dealt to take things fast, now I want to take things slow, enjoy you. When we met all I knew was how beautiful you looked in white and how hot. Later I saw the generous, loving, kind, sensitive, serious but playful woman." My body was shaking, I tried to keep it together. Emily laid her hands on mine, she said my name so calmly everything was falling into place in that one second, one long second. I took a deep breath and decided to put my paper away, if I'm doing this it better be delivered just right. "Emily I want to be the food for your heart and soul. After going back to my world, my routines like I know it I realised that's all in the past. I cried myself to sleep Monday night, I was so busy in mind with wanting to do it right that I forgot that we could do it right together. Right would be standing side by side doing what we feel good about and want to do. Oh Emily I tried and I failed, dramatically and miserably for what exactly I don't know. I have never felt so empty then now, I can't go back to the life before you the glimpse I had with you is so much better that's what I want. We can skip the dating part and go straight to real girlfriends with rings. Not a piece of me, but me in a whole would die if you can't forgive my stupidity." I became obsessed with the fear of losing Emily, I need her as something more. I just can't say those three words just yet, right now they will get lost in the moment. "I always said that my next date would be the last one. And I still mean that Emily."