Beginning
After the pool incident, things still remained tentative and strained between us. Sulpicia kept trying to push us, but the more she pushed the more adamant we became on staying firm. I tried to let go of all the pent up tension, slowly of course, and channeled it to the business portion of my stay.
"Of course, Matapeh, with this years' excellent harvest I believe the Roman Empire would be delighted in trade," I said, looking over the loaded storehouses. I went to the nearest one and picked up some of the grain. "Especially when it is of this good quality."
"Thank you, Caius, on behalf of all the workers I thank you. Because of this deal we shall surely have a stable economy for a year, yet."
"Upon my arrival in Rome I will write, through express post, the Holy Emperor's thanks on the transaction," I said, closing up the arrangement.
"I will convey the thanks to Great Pharaoh and—" Matapeh was suddenly cut off by the entrance of a very distraught looking Sulpicia.
"Sulpicia?" I asked, slightly shocked at her presence.
"Caius, we must leave now!" she rushed.
"What?" I asked.
"It's begun, the Revolution!"
"Matapeh, send our regards to the Court, but I must go to my home." Matapeh bowed and left, leaving me alone with Sulpicia.
"Let's go!" Sulpicia said, pointing in the way of our direction home. I took a few steps in that way, but suddenly stopped. "What now?" Sulpicia hissed.
"Athena," I whispered and I sprinted to the palace, knowing that at the speed I was running no one would be able to see me. She was, as I expected, alone in her room; she didn't even seem surprised that I came in through her window.
"I was wondering when you would come," she said softly.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," I smiled, "but I have to leave. And remember, if I don't return from the battle that I love you. Always." I didn't give her a chance to inquire the meaning of my statement, but ran off to meet Sulpicia where I had left her.
"Lovesick idiot," she muttered as I joined her and we took off. I smiled at her remark, thus commencing a battle of insults the entire way back to Volterra. I wondered how she found out about the Revolution, but never had the chance to actually ask her.
*****
"Aro!" Sulpicia sang as she ran through the open castle doors and into the arms of Aro.
"I missed you, Sully," Aro whispered, kissing her softly. I was pretty sure Marcus and I felt the same pang of jealousy at what Aro could do.
"Would you two get your hands off each other and tell me what is going on?" I asked impatiently, and slightly annoyed.
"Jealous?" Aro kissed Sulpicia again.
"No, you fool, I just want to know why I was so abruptly called away from my stay in Egypt."
"From what I gather," Aro said pensively, "you had quite a surprise in Egypt."
"How did you know?" I asked, getting even more frustrated. Aro kissed Sulpicia for a third time.
"I have my ways." Sulpicia laughed and made a comment on his lack of respect for privacy. Oh right, physical contact is mind-reading for Aro; I wonder what exactly he had gathered with his kisses to Sulpicia. That did still count as physical contact, right? I wonder what it felt like to read someone's mind when they…never mind. Get your head out of the gutter, I chided myself. You do not want to know what goes on between Aro and Sulpicia at night.
"Could you three grow up and actually do something productive?" Marcus asked apathetically. Aro looked saddened at Marcus's lack of enthusiasm but did actually tell me what was going on.
Apparently the idiot officials I had spoken to at the government meeting had decided to act without me and arrested Jesus. The Romanians were obviously not happy about that. To make matters worse. Aro, the brainless fool that he is, sent a few Guard members out to kill Jesus. Their success seriously pissed off the Romanians and they had led a quick attach on a small residence we held on their countries border. None of our lookout Guard members had survived. What does that mean? Aro is planning the full on attack in two days' time.
For Aro, revenge is sweet. For me, revenge is stupid; or perhaps that's just because Aro is so fond of it.
"Don't forget about Felix," Marcus prompted.
"Oh, yes," Aro clapped, "we took a prisoner from the Romanian's, his name is Felix."
"Have you questioned him?" I asked, finally deciding this was somewhat interesting and useful.
"We left that task up to Heidi," Aro said simply, "she seems rather fond of him and he shows and earnest want to stay here." If only Felix knew what he was getting into…
"What information has he given us?" I asked.
"That the Romanian's are preparing an attack in one week. That's the reason we chose to attack in two days. The reinforcements the Romanian's have gathered will be meeting in four days. Thus, it would be better to attack before they arrive." Aro explained.
"Well, finally you did something smart," I muttered. Marcus nodded and then left to organize the Guard. As I watched him walk away I realized that his apathy would never go away. No matter how long he lived he would never be truly happy; without Didyme, Marcus was a broken man. The pity I felt for him tripled because if I missed Didyme and her sarcastic comments, I couldn't comprehend exactly how much Marcus missed her.
I silently turned away and glided up to my room. It seemed so much bigger and emptier now that I was the only one currently occupying it. I decided to change from my Egyptian garb into something more appropriate. I decided to help Marcus get the Guard ready for lack of anything better to do. As it happened, the Guard was prepping us more than they were.
"Caius, your turn," Marcus said, his face slightly paler.
"Turn for—" I was cut off by the most excruciating pain. I felt my knees buckle and the ground unkindly greet me but that was nothing compared to the overwhelming guilt and pain saturating my body. It coursed through every vein in my body; needles pricking me from the inside out, my head as if it were about to explode, feeling as if I would lose consciousness from the pain, but unable to. My throat burned not from thirst, though that too was intensified, but because my screams tore from my chest, thorns tearing and ripping my throat, yet to me, my screams were silent. I was forced to remember, feel, and relive every horrible thing I had done and then the memories took their own form and would manifest themselves making them worse, everything was my fault…my fault…I should die…I will die…I…
And then it was gone. I blinked and cleared my head, realizing how unceremoniously I was sprawled on the ground and how I had destroyed what was around me (the sapling that had been next to me was currently splinters adorning the ground). I stood up quickly and glared at Marcus immediately.
"You could have told me when Jane was going to," I said icily.
"I thought you liked surprises," Marcus replied apathetically.
"Pleasant surprises," I corrected, "not slowly being tortured to death whilst remembering everything."
"Do you think it was any easier for me?" Marcus asked, finally meeting my glare and the depth of his pain was extremely apparent.
"You weren't screaming like I was," I said, "you weren't even on the ground."
"No," Marcus whispered, "I wasn't. Do you want to know why?"
"Why?" I asked emphatically.
"Because the pain that Jane recreates is the pain that I already bear," Marcus's voice was barely audible.
"Doubt it," I said. I knew Marcus had lost his wife but what I had just experienced was beyond any and all form of pain possible. Marcus whirled around,
"I don't think you know," he hissed, "you don't know what it's like to have the only thing important to you taken away. Wrenched from existence without a warning, without a chance to say goodbye…There is something worse than saying goodbye, it's not having the chance to.
"When you truly love someone they aren't just a person, they are a part of you, and once that part is gone you will never be the same. It is dead, Caius, and no matter what happens it will never, ever come back. Do you know what it is like to not only have to carry that weight around, but know that for the rest of eternity you will never be complete? Never be able to be happy, to care, to even want to care or be happy. No, you don't know and you will never know. One day when you have nothing left, no reason to live for, maybe then you'll understand that beyond a level a pain, nothing else matters, nothing else exists, and that we are just shadows of our former selves.
"There is a point of no return, and once you're there…there's nothing you can do." Marcus had gone from being forceful to almost inaudible at the end and now his words hung in the air; a constant reminder what Marcus felt every second of every minute of every of every day for the rest of forever.