It had been a few days before they actually made it back to Azucena. No one had really talked to each other throughout that time. Francis and Gilbert greeted each other once in a while as they commanded the ship, but nothing more. Alfred was still in his quarters recovering and would, once in a while, ask Lovino to come in and see how the Italian was doing. Of course, he didn't get much out of Lovino. The Italian just wanted to be left alone to process everything that had happened within the last few months. It had been almost a year since everything had been happening. Lovino couldn't really believe that it had been almost a year. He wanted to remember the happier times before everything happened, but it was hard for him. However, there was a memory that had been so fogged up that, when he remembered it, it just tore him up even more.

0-0-0

Lovino was around 10 years old. He had been sick and was bedridden in the hospital for several days because of it. His little brother wasn't allowed to come see him since his parents didn't want him getting sick as well. However, the one person who came to see him every day was a tall young boy who looked to be about 12 or 13 years old. Lovino had recognized him from the playground igloo.

"How are you feeling Lovi~?" he asked as he walked over to the bed as the Italian looked over at him.

"F-Fine… I-I guess…" Lovino murmured in reply. It was, now, that his memories had become clear enough for him to recognize the face. It was Antonio.

"That's good~ I heard you got the chicken poxes, so I can to check on you again today~"

"O-Oh…" Lovino slightly pulled the blanket over his face, which only made Antonio softly laugh at the gesture.

0-0-0

Lovino wished he had never realized that he had known Antonio way back then. It hurt him more than anything to know that he had forgotten who the boy was in those dreams of old memories. He really wished that he would've remembered a long time ago that he knew Antonio. He had supported the Spaniard a bit in their childhood, hoping Antonio would be a great pirate in the government. It really hurt him to know that he had forgotten his face. He didn't know why he had forgotten, but he did. Why was it now of all times that he would remember what that boy's face looked like?

Lovino felt tears fill his eyes again as he remembered that again. He didn't want to remember old times when he was younger. He didn't want to realize who that really was. He just wished everything would go back to normal. He wished that Antonio was still alive. He wished that everything would just go back to how it was so many months ago when Antonio first found him. All those 'I love you's just seemed to empty when he remember them in his head. He wanted to hear Antonio's voice again. He wanted to be loved by the Spaniard again. To be kissed by him and have sweet nothings be whispered into his ears again by the same Spaniard again. It wouldn't happen though, he knew that much. Antonio was dead and would never come back to him again.

"Lovino…" Gilbert softly said as he walked up to the Italian. "We're here…"

"Si… I know…" Lovino softly said as he continued to sit on the crates that he was on, staring out at the ocean before him.

"We're going to get everything ready… so come out sometime soon, ja?" Lovino just slightly nodded before Gilbert walked off. The Italian just wanted to stay there for a while longer. He wanted to remember the beautiful, glimmering ocean that he had seen so much when he was traveling with Antonio to keep away from Arthur. How much he wished Antonio was standing there with him, looking at the view with him.

"…fratello…?" a familiar voice reached Lovino's ears, making his eyes widen as he spun towards the voice. Sure enough, there Feliciano was, standing there with a saddened expression on his face. The younger Italian felt so bad for his brother that he couldn't be his normal, cheerful self at the moment.

"F…Feliciano….?" Lovino asked softly with confusion. He couldn't believe that Feliciano was still alive. After hearing that recording, he thought that he was dead. Feliciano said nothing as he walked over to Lovino and hugged him. His brother had just gotten away from that place and found someone to love, and now all of that was taken from him. Feliciano really couldn't say anything, even if he wanted to.

Lovino hugged his brother back, burying his face into his shoulder. The tears that had been welling in his eyes were now flowing out of his eyes. He was sad yet relieved at the same time. Sad that Antonio was gone and relieved that his brother was still alive. Feliciano did his best to keep the tears in his own eyes from falling out. He wanted to be strong for his older brother at the moment and support him just like Lovino had always supposed him when they were younger. So much did he want his brother to be happy again, to have Antonio being the one that was comforting his brother instead of himself.

Grandpa… Feliciano thought as he looked up slightly towards the sky. If Antonio is there… please tell him to watch over fratello… He's hurting so much right now… Feliciano looked back down as he rubbed his brother's back to help Lovino from hiccupping. He knew that Lovino wasn't one to cry in front of someone, but he also felt like he was a bit closer to his brother with this. Though, he wondered, how long would Lovino have to suffer from all of this? The younger Italian really didn't know, but he hoped that it would be too long. He really hoped it wouldn't.

0-0-0

People stood there as the grave slowly began to be filled. Shovels pushing the dirt back into it at a steady pace. Lovino stood closer to the grave than anyone else. He knew that he needed to say good-bye to Antonio properly if he was going to get through this pain he had in his heart. Feliciano was clinging to Ludwig a little ways away from where Lovino was and Gilbert was standing on the other side of his brother. Francis was standing a bit off to the side next to Alfred who was hanging off of the Frenchman for balance. Only a few of the crew members were behind them, but all of them were looking at the grave. Pain crossed all of their faces before the dirt was slightly smoothed out and the grave stone could be seen well.

It read:

'Here lies Antonio Fernandez Carriedo,

Brave pirate who fought for the right things.

A great friend and lover.

Died at age 23'

Everyone stood there for awhile, staring at the grave. Then, one by one, the crowd faded until only Lovino, Ludwig, and Feliciano remained. Francis and Gilbert went to help Alfred get back to where he needed to be. Lovino walked up to the grave, kneeling down near the tombstone.

"Antonio…." Lovino softly said as he touched the tombstone. "…I'm sorry I wasn't anymore help… I'm so sorry…." Lovino started to cry again as he set his head down on the tombstone. "I'm s-such an i-idiot….. I should've done something m-more…." If he had, Antonio wouldn't have ended up like this.

"Ludwig… l-let's go home…" Feliciano softly said, knowing his brother wanted to be left alone right now. Ludwig nodded as he took Feliciano's hand. "S-See you l-later fratello…." With that, the two left and leaving Lovino by himself. The older Italian didn't say anything as he continued to cry. It really did hurt him to know that Antonio was dead.

Lovino sniffled and coughed a bit before moving some of the dirt and setting the one item he held close to him into the small hole. The necklace that Antonio had given him a while ago. It was a small, red pendant on string. He loved it a lot since Antonio gave it to him, but he wanted to give it the Spaniard again. He felt this was one way to let himself feel at ease with all of this. The Italian then took out the ring that Antonio gave him, placing it on his ring finger and gently kissing it.

My heart will always belong to you, Antonio… Lovino thought as he slowly stood up. He started heading back towards Ludwig's house, wanting his brother to help comfort him a bit. His brother was all he had left now and he wanted to learn about his brother and who he was now. It was all over now. All of it was over. He could live life the way he wanted to know. With one last look at the grave, Lovino vanished from sight. Forever he would keep Antonio in his heart. Forever and ever and ever he would.

Lovino would never love anyone else for as long as he lived. That was what the Italian felt anyways. Antonio was his first and, now, only love he could actually love. Through childhood and not even adulthood could change his mind, no matter who tried to convince him other wise.