Chapter Twenty-five Llama Drama
Yzma couldn't believe her fortune, standing in front of her, completely clueless as to who she was, was the girl she and M had been after for weeks. A plan started formulating in her devious mind. Yzma changed her tone from utter surprise to utter delight, "Why of course I know who you are darling! Don't tell me you don't remember your old granny!"
Sora's jaw dropped, "Are you telling me that you are Matilda's grandmother?!"
"Hey, how can you have a granddaughter? You don't even have kids," Kronk whispered to Yzma.
Yzma jabbed her elbow into his gut, "Shut up!" she hissed before turning her attention back to Sora and the others, "Of course, we were so worried when she went missing. First the emperor dies and then my beloved granddaughter disappears. She went missing weeks ago, we were beginning to lose hope,"
Lulu was highly skeptical and stared at Yzma hard with her deep violet eyes, "You two don't look very much alike,"
Yzma began to get a little nervous, "She looks more like her father,"
"Then what is her real name?" Lulu persisted harshly.
"Umm…" Yzma knew she had to think fast, "Amzy, of course,"
"I think you are lying," Lulu said matter-of-factly.
"You dare accuse the Empress of Kuzcotopia of lying?" Yzma said abashed.
"You have to understand, Empress," Sora explained, "That a lot of bad people have been after her. We want her to be safe, a lot counts on her survival. If you know something about her that no one but a close family member knows, then we'll know you're telling the truth,"
Yzma couldn't argue that logic, but had to think of something. She did know much about Matilda, M had told her everything the being knew but she couldn't think of what she could say without giving away her real plans with the girl. Suddenly, she had a stroke of inspiration, "On her chest is a birthmark that looks like a lock for a key,"
Sora turned to Matilda. Unlike Vincent and the others of Hollow Bastion, he did not know she had that mark. Matilda began nodding her head happily and squeezed Piff close to her chest, "That's right! I do have a mark there. Grandma!"
Matilda ran over to Yzma's waiting arms, "Amzy, I am so glad to have you back, shnookems,"
Sora, Kairi and Goofy were happy over the tender moment, though Lulu still seemed mistrusting. After the moment of love and affection Sora asked, "Now that we know where Matilda—er Amzy really is from, maybe you can answer some nagging questions we still have. If you can you would be saving the worlds,"
"Of course," Yzma said smugly, she never dreamed the Keyblade Master would be more stupid than Kronk.
"If she's from here, why do the Heartless keep coming after her?" Sora asked innocently.
Yzma just about fell from her throne. She had to keep up her quick thinking, "Isn't it obvious? If she is my granddaughter that makes her a princess. It is well known that Heartless always go after people with really strong hearts, and those with the strongest hearts are usually princesses,"
Sora had to agree. But after being ignored for so long, Pacha finally spoke up again, "Excuse me, Empress, but what about my house?"
"Oh fine, fine, fine!" Yzma began sounding irritable again, "You can keep you're stupid land. Now everybody get out so I can catch up with my granddaughter!"
Lulu opened her mouth to argue, but before she could the guards ushered her and the others out of the throne room. Sora, Kairi and Goofy tried to say goodbye to Matilda, but Yzma and Kronk had already led her out of the room through another door. Pacha was thrilled to know he wouldn't lose his home, but Sora and the others couldn't help feeling a little bit sad. They lingered outside the palace gates as Pacha packed his llama, humming happily as he worked.
"I'm going to miss her," Kairi sighed, "She was a really sweet girl. But it's nice to know she's back where she belongs,"
"I agree. But now that she's home I suppose we should go back to Magic Kingdom and tell King Mickey all about it," Sora said, sounding quite apathetic, "It's just such a shame we had to lose Donald, Riku and Vincent, just when we were so close to finding her home,"
"Don't worry Sora. We'll find them," Goofy patted Sora's back sympathetically as they began to head back to Pacha's home. They looked at the palace one last time before following the peasant into the deep jungle.
"How can you three be so stupid!" Kairi, Sora and Goofy stopped and turned around. Lulu had fallen behind and was looking infuriated, her stuffed animal hanging in her hand.
Sora was confused, "Lulu, what's the matter?"
"You can't tell me you're seriously considering leaving Matilda with that woman?" Lulu, "She was obviously lying!"
Sora tried to be sympathetic, "Lulu, I know you're going to miss Amzy most because you knew her the longest out of all of us, but this is her real home. How else could Yzma have known about the birthmark? Did you know she had it?"
Lulu didn't say anything at first, "Well, I didn't. But that doesn't change anything, there is something wrong about all of this. I don't think we should leave her there!"
"Come on Lulu, we need to start rebuilding the ship," Sora sighed. Lulu knew they were not going to go back for Matilda. She looked back to where they had just come, hesitated slightly and finally caught up to the others. But she looked even grimmer than the others had thought possible.
The group followed Pacha only a few hundred feet when they heard what sounded like a little girl screaming. From the brush up ahead, a red and black llama came running out, chased by half a dozen panthers. The panthers lost interest in the one llama and decided they'd get more of a meal with the peasant, Pacha's llama and the four warriors. Sora and Kairi summoned their Keyblades and Goofy used his shield. Within a few minutes the creatures were destroyed.
The red and black llama that the panthers had originally chased was standing against a tree with its knees wobbling, looking as though it was about to cry. Sora couldn't help feeling sorry for the poor creature. Banishing his blade, the Keyblade Master gently approached the animal and tried to pet it, "It's okay fella, you're safe now,"
The llama spotted Sora's hand approaching his head and changed expressions. It reared up on its back legs and did a kung-fu-like move, "Hey! Hey! Hey! No touchy!"
"Wah?" Sora blinked. Pacha's llama let out a cry and jumped into the man's arms. Everyone just stared at the animal, "D-did you just talk?"
"Well duh, of course I talked," the llama rolled his eyes.
Goofy turned to Pacha, "Do llamas talk in this world?"
Pacha didn't say anything, all he did was shake his head. The llama used his hooves to massage his temples, "Oh geez. Of course llamas don't talk in this world. I am not a llama,"
Sora cocked his head, "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. I used to be human!" the llama snapped, "But it's this peasant's fault that I lost my beautiful body!"
A look of recognition flashed on Pacha's face, "I-it's impossible! Emperor Kuzco?!"
"Uh, yeah," the llama said snarkily.
"Wait, the emperor that died four months ago?" Lulu recalled.
Goofy asked the peasant man, "You didn't try to hurt Kuzco, did you?"
"Of course not!" Pacha got over his shock and became angry.
"Liar!" Kuzco snapped back, "You came to the palace all wah-wah-wah because I was going to build my palace where your lousy shack is and when I said I wouldn't change my mind you kidnapped me and turned me into a llama. I've been stuck on your miserable farm for four months, you devious jerk you!"
"That's not true!" Pacha argued.
"Are you saying you weren't angry at me?" Kuzco accused.
"Of course I was angry! My family's been on that land for generations, my wife is going to have a child soon, and you wanted to just kick me off of it because you needed a sunny place to be!" Pacha snarled.
"Ha! Hear that? He just about confessed," Kuzco smirked, "Now let's all go to the palace now so the peasant can turn himself in and be in jail for the rest of his life and Yzma can give my back my bodacious bod,"
"You mean Empress Yzma?" Sora asked.
"Nooo…" Kuzco said in a patronizing tone, "I mean my advisor Yzma. You must be talking about a different Yzma, some evil clone or something,"
"I doubt that's possible," Lulu stated drolly.
Kuzco turned back to Sora, "Is the woman you talked to older than dinosaurs, has really bad taste and is scary beyond all reason?"
Sora paused for a moment and thought about the outlandishly dressed woman he had met in the palace, "Yeah, that's how I'd describe her,"
"But that doesn't make sense! How could my advisor be the empress? I'm the Emperor!" the llama whined.
"Your advisor took over as Empress when everybody thought you were dead," Pacha said matter-of-factly.
"That's impossible, she wouldn't do that. She'd look for me as soon as she realized I was missing," Kuzco said confidently.
"She was the one who told us you were dead," Pacha continued.
"And you just believed her? You just let her take over and not fight back for your rightful Emperor? No one looked for me?" Kuzco whimpered.
"No one missed you," Pacha said bluntly, "It was a relief to hear you were dead. You were a terrible Emperor, you were a spoiled jerk who did everything for himself without worrying about how his decisions would affect his people,"
Kuzco's ears drooped, "I-I don't believe you!"
"Believe what you want," Pacha shrugged, "C'mon guys, we should get back home before it gets dark,"
Sora and the others glanced at Kuzco momentarily, debating whether they should say anything or not. The llama sat in disbelief and said quietly, "Even Yzma didn't miss me?" Suddenly his eyes got wide and he called back to Pacha, "Hey you, peasant dude! You're right, you weren't the one to kidnap me!"
Pacha stopped and turned around, "Well, I'm glad you finally believe something I said,"
"Four months ago, Yzma invited me to dinner to talk about something—I don't really remember since I wasn't paying attention, but she gave me a toast. I drank the wine she gave me and when I woke up, I was a llama, and I was outside you're farm. Yzma must have been the one to turn me into a llama! I should have known…ever since she talked to that M guy"
"What!" Sora suddenly became interested, "Did you say 'M',"
"Yeah, what about it?" Kuzco cocked his head.
"If Yzma is working with M that means…" Goofy began.
"That Matilda is in serious danger!" Lulu gasped.
"Let's go to the palace right now and get my throne back!" Kuzco said confidently.
"We've got to rescue Matilda," Sora stated.
"What about my throne?"
"What about it?" Kairi asked.
"Well, you need to help me get it back," Kuzco stated as though it was perfectly obvious.
"That's not our problem, especially if you are as big a jerk as we've heard. Kicking poor Pacha off his land," Sora scoffed.
"Okay fine, if you help me get back my throne, I'll build my summer palace somewhere else. I promise," Kuzco sounded genuinely sincere, but no one knew he crossed his hooves behind his back.
"If that's the case and you're being truthful, I'll help too," Pacha stated.
"What are we waiting for, Matilda needs us!" Lulu announced.