Adulting sucks ugh. I don't seem to have enough butter.

Debby it's like we're meant to be. Thanks to you Guest for the weird idea.

I need a vacation, you tell yourself as you wait on the computer for some reports to be generated. You see Gail and Traci standing just outside the lab -who were discussing at the top of their voices the case at hand, and having reached no definite conclusion gave up on the topic till the results for the tests came through. You have barely spoken to Gail since the impromptu bump-in with her and Robin. You've both had plenty of chances to talk after that, but the awkwardness was comfy enough. Talk would clear things up, at the end of the talk there would emerge a clear winner and loser, this uncomfortable stalemate where everything was ambiguous was better. Were there any winners in this situation? Felt like you were all losers of some sort.
A nice couple of days alone at the beach, nothing burning in your mind, ah what bliss it would be you muse, as the two of them stroll into the lab. Gail avoided direct contact with you mostly- but she still gazed at you longingly, as if to make you to talk to her. What good would that be, you don't know. For now all you know is that Gail still hadn't told Robin anything and it seemed that wasn't going to change for a while. Gail seemed utterly perplexed with the whole situation, caught between hurting Robin and loving you. You don't know what you could do to change this and you haven't tried either.
"Oh - I can't help you with the dance practise tonight. It's Leo's play night." Traci informs Gail, and hearing that reminds you that this wedding was still being planned for - spite the fact Gail and Robin had already banged head-on into a wall ever since the night Gail slept with you. You're helpless in this situation - might as well daydream about beaches and sand anyway.
"What do I do now!" Gail groaned, putting a little more than necessary emotion into that. You're swallowing witnessing all this.
"Hey - Holly can help you! She's a trained dancer." Traci offers, pleased with the easy fix to the problem. All the blood's drained from your face hearing that. Damn Traci and her knack for knowing everyone from top to toe. You stare helplessly at Gail who's stunned at that proposition herself, but hiding it better than you were.
"If it isn't too weird that is." Traci immediately continues, and the two of you can feel the pressure rising. Traci couldn't find out anything about that night. Your eyes have grown wide in horror and Gail too is trying to tell you (without actually saying it out loud) to play along.
"No - why would it be weird? But Holly might be busy tonight." Gail fumbles, and that answers one of your questions. Gail loved this ambiguity as much as you did. As long as things weren't clear, there was still a tiny, tiny chance. At what you aren't sure.
"Well, are you busy?" Traci asks, a little surprised at the looks you and Gail had exchanged. You're struggling to find the words, to say you would be busy wallowing in your isolation and you can't find them.
"I-Uh No." you mumble, turning to look at the monitor as if to check some parameters. Why do you keep getting yourself in these situations - you didn't know.
"Great! It's settled then!" Traci grins, and the printer starts printing out the report.
So now you were going to teach the woman you loved to dance with the other woman she was marrying. Very nice indeed. Gail was staring at you as if to tell you it would be Okay if you didn't turn up tonight but the two are beckoned by an impatient Sam out of the lab, leaving you alone and depressed all over again.

You've had a few beers - you weren't going to deny that. Felt like anything to do with Gail made you immediately stretch your arm out for a bottle of booze. Gail and alcohol were an intoxicating cocktail, one you have a weakness for. You aren't sure what you're doing outside the building where this dance studio was. You should either go in just leave for home. But instead you're just staring at the building, mentally going over whether you should go or not. The studio was a friend of Chloe's - and since it was quite late in the night, you knew it would be only you and Gail in there. Choices, choices, choices. Do you go in and face Gail? Do you go back home a coward? Or do you stand here outside the building and while away the time, something you've done all your life. Five minutes pass, Gail appears from the crowds and stands next to you. You haven't acknowledged her presence - still staring at the building with a sad face, but you know she's there.
"I'm surprised you came." Gail sighs, turning to look at the building.
"I'm surprised too." you bite back, clearly the alcohol getting to your head. You don't know why you're so you know is you had no right to be here- this was supposed to be something Gail should do with Robin, with the so-called woman she was marrying and you don't know where in that equation you fitted in. You march into the building and Gail follows a second later.
Soon you're both in the dance studio, there's music playing and all the lights are on - but the two of you are just sitting on the floor, lazing in the stillness of the empty hall. Whatever the hell the two of you turned up here for - it definitely wasn't to dance.
"How come you aren't practising with - her?" you inquire, trying to seem as disinterested as you can but the emphasis on the 'her' was too obvious.
"Well she's a trained dancer, like you apparently. I never knew you danced. You could barely do the Macarena." Gail replied, sighing into the emptiness. You hated this - the way Gail kept deflecting the topic off Robin and dragging it back to you. Gail, when she was with you tried to behave as if Robin was an ex, and not a fiance.
"So - you're both dancing the final dance from Dirty Dancing?" you ask bitterly - your emotions clearly overpowering you.
"Umm - No - just a simple one - but I seem to lack the rhythm for that." Gail offers, trying to placate you but you weren't going let yourself be calm. You see that you're quite drunk and can't do anything now - be it talk or teach dance. You get up and decide to leave - after all you've done your part - shown up and kept up your end of the bargain.
"Wait! Don't leave!" Gail calls after you as you walk back to the door. She's standing up herself now - holding out her hand. It reminds you of the night you met her for the first time after 3 years - that night at Sam's wedding.
"We're here - might as well dance." she tries,with her weird way of making peace with you. You consider it in your drunken haze for a moment and throw caution to the wind. What was the worst that could happen - she could sleep with you again, and what did difference did it make if she cheated on Robin with you once or twice. You walk towards her and give her your hand and soon the two of you are slowly dancing and moving your bodies to the beat of whatever slow song that was playing. The two of you were incredibly close to each other - if anyone walked in on the two of you right now - they would bet that you were the wife-to-be. Surprisingly when dancing with you - Gail magically found some rhythm and you've deciphered that it was more about who Gail was dancing with rather than Gail. You've wrapped your hands around her neck and her arms are around your waist, holding you close. You realise that this was quite similar to the dance the two of you shared not long ago.
"So, this is happening." you state,the alcohol made you do weird things.
"What?" Gail asks, still clutching you close.
"You're marrying her." you spit out, for once talking without any inhibitions.
"I'm just going with the motions here." Gail sighs, and you zone out for a second when whatever song's lyrics echo in your ear.
Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago.
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry dead on its sword.
You consider your current predicament and laugh a little.
"What is it?" Gail asks with this soft smile. God you hate how tender and sweet she was with you.
"It's funny."
"Why?"
"You want to marry her - and dance with me." you drunkenly muse, still slowly moving to the song.
Gail, quite uncharacteristic of herself, opened up a bit about it too.
"Would that be so terrible a prospect?" Gail sighs in reply.
"She doesn't even know what happened Gail." you remind her, as the fact came to your mind and she nods in silence.
"You're going to marry her spite that night? That isn't like you." you ramble on, waiting for Gail's reply.
"How come?" she softly prods.
"You should have told her by now. You wouldn't let her marry you. I know that but you haven't told her yet - which is odd of you." you go on, surprised at your own words. That would explain why you weren't jumping in anger. On some level you knew that Gail wouldn't be marrying Robin anyway.
"I don't want to hurt her - besides what when I tell her -just come back to you?" Gail ponders and you can make out that things weren't as black and white as they seemed. Gail still had her doubts about you.
"I just think you shouldn't be misleading Robin." you finish, not wanting to discuss your own shortcomings right now.
"I wish you didn't know me better than I know myself. " Gail softly whispers to you and all you want to do is kiss her for that.
"It's part of loving you I suppose." you tell her, finally feeling at ease. You've longed to tell her you love her for so long - and finally you have, as indirectly as you did. Gail had this soft sweet smile on her face hearing that and that's cheered you up considerably.
Songs have changed long since, and the two of you are still dancing late in the night. There was just something about each other's company that you both enjoyed, something soothing and calming.
"Do you know how I wanted to propose to you?" Gail begins with a little chuckle, thinking of a long ago memory. You shake your head.
"It was supposed to be a Sunday morning. Sundays were the only day you were so carefree and blissful. You were always so happy waking up on Sunday mornings. You would have this silly smile on your face as you woke up and I would casually ask you to marry me. You'd probably think it a joke and tease me and then I would pull out the ring from somewhere - and you would be so surprised. I know it's not very romantic and all that but whenever I thought of asking you that's always how I thought - "
You don't let her continue - you can't. You kiss her hard, pulling her as close to you as you can. Gail's hands too roam to your hips and cling to you. She's about to slide her hand up your shirt when you break the kiss.
"Not till you tell her Gail. I don't want to be a part of this till you tell her." you state decidedly. You weren't going to be the other woman.