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He must have drifted off because it's dark when he wakes up. There's an awful crick in his neck. He should have bought that new sofa instead of putting it off again. He's barely in the flat anyway so what was the point? Jamie had offered to pay for it but it was his home and if he wanted a new sofa he would buy it for himself.
He checks his phone. It's past eleven and still nothing from Jamie.
There's no point in ringing him again. He's left his messages. It's up to Jamie to ring him.
His stomach rumbles reminding him he hasn't eaten in over a day.
He wishes that he bothered to shop properly instead of living on take-aways and whatever he eats at Ill Nosh because there is very little in the fridge. Jamie puts whatever he wants in but it's all pretty much ready meals. He finds for cheese in the side draw and a couple slices of bread left from a loaf that was very nearly ready to be chucked.
Cheese on toast? He looks in the cupboard where he tries to keep at least some carrots and potatoes. There's some onion… He checks the can cupboard and finds some beans and sausages.
Beans and Sausage's on toast he decides since he's not sure how his stomach will react to something strong like cheese and onion.
It doesn't take long until he's got it on a plate. He eats about half then he feels full so he puts the rest in the bin and washes up.
It's gone half eleven so he decides to go to bed. He's got the lunch shift tomorrow although he wants to go in a bit early and do some prep.
He checks his phone again before placing it on the bedside table and getting undressed.
His phone is ringing. It's still dark outside.
"'ello." He coughs to clear his throat.
"Ste." Jamie sounds terrible.
He's awake in an instant. He can hear traffic in the background of Jamie's line.
"Jamie, are you okay?"
There's a long pause. He can hear Jamie trying to get his breathing together.
"No… Not really." He sounds like he's going to break down any second.
"What happened?" He has to be gentle but he needs to know what's going on.
"A car accident… Mum's dead. She's dead Ste." He does breakdown and Ste feels a lump in his throat.
"Where are you?" How the fuck he's going to get there isn't his first concern.
"Liverpool Royal… She was fine. Talking. She was even joking… There was… She was bleeding into her brain… They tried but she died."
He doesn't know what to say. He thinks he should be saying he's sorry but he knows that it doesn't help.
"Dad's in intensive care." Jamie sounds a bit more together. "They had to take his leg… They couldn't save it… They don't know if he'll even wake up. God Ste… It's just such a mess."
He needs to channel Amy because she was always the one of them who was good in a crisis. Maybe he's learning but he's not up to her standards.
"Hey, hey. I'll be there as soon as I can." How he hasn't got a clue but he will get there. "Jamie." He pauses to make sure Jamie's listening. "I'm sorry about your Mum. I will be there soon okay?"
"Yeah…" He sounds empty as he hangs up.
How the fuck is he going to get to Liverpool? It's three in the morning.
Laura doesn't have a car of her own, she gets hire car's when she needs one. It's too early to ring Doug not that he would…
"Laura does Callum have a car?"
"Ste it's three in the morning." She groaned.
"Does he have a car?"
He hears movement and Callum's voice. That was a quick turnaround. He didn't think Laura would be such a soft touch when she had been upset about what he had done.
"What do you need it for?" She asked.
"I need to get to Liverpool Hospital. Jamie's parents…" He stops. "I need to get there."
He hears a muffled conversation.
"He'll lend it to me." There's another conversation that he can't hear. "He'll drive you there. Do you want picking up or are you coming here?"
"Can he pick me up?"
"Yeah he'll be there in five. Ring me if you need anything."
He waits outside the flat hopping from foot to foot.
Callum rolls up in a Aston Martin DB9. He admires the beauty of the car for all of a second before he gets into the passenger seat.
Callum get them out onto the Motorway in double quick time.
"Didn't think you'd be so quick to get into a car with me alone?" He looks less intimidating in Jeans and t-shirt than he does in his tailored suits. It resonates with him. Reminds him of someone else. He shuts that down immediately because Jamie is the one who needs him right now and he's not going to be half missing because he's distracted by Brendan.
"Some things are more important." He knows that Callum isn't going to hurt him for sure now. He's not ashamed he saw him naked, scared because he knows that anyone would be. He didn't embarrass himself too badly anyway.
"How did you talk Laura round?" He wonders because that could prove useful information to have.
"I went round to hers and told her not to throw away what we have and she took me back into her bed."
He looks at him sceptically because he knows fine well that Laura would have told him to fuck off.
Callum looks like he's going to hold out on him.
"I begged." He shakes his head. "I got down on my knees and begged her… Literally."
"Really?" He can't imagine a man like Callum begging anyone for anything.
"That and I had a bunch of black roses and a bottle of that perfume she likes so much which I didn't realise cost a fortune, not that the money matters."
"You must care a lot about her to do that."
"I love her." Callum's honesty is shocking. "Always have. It wasn't love at first sight more like love at first argument. There's nothing like arguing with her."
He frowns at that.
"She's like death of a thousand cuts then she really goes in for the kill, cuts your legs out from under you, and stabs you in the heart. It's amazing." He glances at him. "The way her mind works." He blow out a breath and shakes his head.
"If you love her why are you trying to get her back involved with her Dad?"
"I'm not as it happens. Robert's involved in stuff I don't want her near but it's not my decision, it's hers. I don't tell her and I know someone else will so it might as well be me. You don't just walk away clean from your past, especially not when your family's involved."
He knew. Laura had made it clear that it was a deep pit and she could sit on the ledge and look down, look off away from the ledge but she couldn't clear the danger completely.
"Just so we're clear if she gets hurt I'll come after you." He said it and he meant it. He doesn't care if Callum's a murderer or not he'd find a way.
Callum seemed to look at him for a long while then nodded.
"You raise your fist to her again and I'll finish what I started."
"Fine by me." He'd been warned as if he even needed to be.
Callum drops him at the entrance and tells him to ring Laura if he needs another lift.
He hates hospitals. Really hates them. Except for holding Lucas for the first time and when the doctors confirmed that Leah was fine despite being born on the kitchen floor. That's it. Every other visit had been horrible and he's got a long memory of all the times he's been in as a patient.
He tries to ring Jamie but his phone is off.
He walks up to the front desk and the woman points him towards intensive care.
He's not sure what to expect when he walks onto the unit but he just wants to find Jamie. He sees John and Gillian first. Gillian is barely holding herself together, tears are rolling down her cheeks. She offers a small smile and hugs him, he holds her gently ignoring the part of him which freaks out because he really doesn't know Jamie's family well enough to be hugging them. He has missed just about every family gathering because of work or the kids or an excuse except Boxing day each year they've been together.
"I'm sorry." He says and John nods to him.
"Jamie's crashed out in the relative's room." John said and pointed him in the direction. "Luke's with him." He's warning him. The ex is here.
He nods and walks along the corridor.
It's the smell that really gets to him. It's too much disinfectant. That and the overly warm air. He's only got a light jacket on and he's sweating.
He opens the door carefully. He looks inside and closes his eyes.
Jamie's laying on Luke's lap, body curled up on the sofa while Luke strokes his hair.
He grits his teeth. Now is not the time, Steven. He thinks and opens his eyes again.
"He's asleep." Luke whispers.
"I'm Ste." He keeps his voice down.
"Nice to meet you." Luke's eyes return to Jamie's sleeping form.
He forces a smile. If he grits his teeth any harder they're going to shatter. It's on the tip of his tongue to ask where his wife is but that would be so far out of line he can't do it especially when Jamie's got enough on his plate. He really doesn't need Ste kicking off at his ex, especially when it seems that his ex is offering so much comfort.
He needs to take a walk but he needs to tell Jamie he's there. Can't wake him though.
"Wouldn't mind getting me a coffee would you mate?" If he didn't hate Luke from what he had heard about him, never mind the position he's currently in, then in those words it takes him all the way.
"Course not." Good boy, Steven. "Milk? Sugar?"
"Black and two sweeteners please. Square it later? Don't want to wake him."
"Yeah no problem." He deserves a fucking medal. He backs out of the room and closes the door gently. The urge to kick it is strong but if he does then he might wake Jamie and he'd give himself away to Luke.
He manages to get down the corridor past John and Gillian who ask for tea since he'll look like a proper wanker if he doesn't offer. John offers to give him a hand.
"I thought you would have come in with Jamie as soon as we heard." Fuck. How's he going to get out of this? He doesn't know why Jamie didn't tell him. Phone him. Even text him.
"Bad signal." He's a class A, grade A idiot. It's been decided. He really is a complete fucking twat.
"Please don't lie to me Ste, not now. He only called you after Mum died. That's why you've only just got here."
He licks his lips, thinks about lying and decides against it, nodding instead.
"How did Luke know?"
"Gillian rang him. Luke was very close to our parents. I told her not to but Gillian…" He sighs and shakes his head. "She didn't think."
"Understandable." He shrugged.
He grateful that he had picked up his wallet on the way out of the door. He pays for the coffees and teas. Thinks about putting sugar instead of sweetener in Luke's coffee but decides against it. He's better than that. He should just… He snorts to himself. Violence in a hospital. He's… No he's not better than that but he's older and wiser.
"Are you and Jamie alright?" John asked and he was serious.
"I don't know." He sighed and banged his head off the machine.
"Rough patch?"
"Could say that." He doesn't even know. They were fine and now they apparently weren't and he didn't know when that happened.
"Don't let Luke get to you. You and Jamie have five years together, everyone has their ups and downs." John squeezes his shoulder and picks up two cups. "Besides I like you more than I ever liked Luke." He smiles.
Christ, he is a big brother. Here he is in a hospital with his mother dead and his father in intensive care and he's giving pep talks to his younger brother's boyfriend.
Gillian's husband was there when they got back. Arms wrapped around her as she sobbed into his chest. He offered a brief smile.
John gave him an encouraging smile as he headed down to give Luke his coffee.
Jamie was awake he was murmuring something to Luke when he entered.
"Hey." He gave Luke his coffee and sat down next to Jamie.
"You didn't have to come. I know you're busy." Jamie said. There was no malice in his tone, just tiredness.
Did Jamie really think he wouldn't come?
He was about to reply: never too busy for you but Jesus wasn't that the biggest lie he'd ever tell.
"I want to be here with you."
"How did you get here so quick? The buses aren't running."
"You don't drive then." Luke's voice is grating on him.
"I do but I assumed you had the car so I asked Callum for a lift."
"Who's Callum?" He can tell from this moment on that he's going to have to bite the inside of his mouth and sit on his hands to prevent himself from smacking the bastard.
"He's my friend's boyfriend." Fuck buddy isn't a term to be used in front of a man like Luke who infer all sorts of things.
"Laura come too?" There's an edge to Jamie's tone.
"No she's got an AA meeting early. Well now really." It was Thursday so she did have an AA meeting, when he didn't have a clue but it was right as far as he could remember.
"Bit of a boozer is she?" Luke's a bastard. A complete and utter tosser. What the fuck did Jamie ever see in him except his fat wallet and… He has to admit he's fit. A complete arsehole but very attractive.
"No she's the councillor as it happens." He needs a round of applause for getting that out without bite.
"Luke can you give us a bit of space please." It's not a question it's a request. Luke gives Jamie a hug which lasts a bit too long, gives him a soft smile.
"I'll be right outside if you need me."
Jamie watches Luke leave then wraps his arms around his shoulders and pulls him into a tight hug.
"Ignore him he's being a prick." Jamie whispers in his ear.
"Sorry." Because he thought he'd been doing well but Jamie did know him pretty well. Could identify his moods from ten yards so it's not surprising that he knows that there is nothing Ste would like more than to smack him. Maybe he should ask Callum to give Luke the treatment but follow through.
"I'm so pleased you came. I'm sorry I didn't ring you. I just heard they'd been in an accident and took off. Paul's opening the garage for me."
Didn't have time for a phone call but he'd had time to drive into the outskirts of Chester and drop off is keys. Now he knew there was trouble.
"Yeah he said when I rang him."
Jamie tells him about how his parents had been driving back from a day at the coast and were hit head on by another car as they came around a bend. Apparently the car had been over taking on a blind bend. His Dad hadn't had time to do anything but swurve a bit. The car hit just to the left hand side of centre. The front end of the car was caved in. They had been trapped for an hour. Been cut out by fire crews. The pedals had gone into his Dad's legs. The damage had been too severe to save the right leg. It had been amputated below his knee. The left was saved, for the time being although the doctor's weren't hopeful of saving it in the long run. He was in a coma, had internal bleeding that they had been able to stem but not stop. The outlook was poor.
"We've got to wait and see." Jamie sighed heavily. "We've been told to be prepared for the worst."
He doesn't know what to say. Knows that false hope and it'll be alright are lies at this stage. So he hugs Jamie tighter and holds him as he descends into another bought of tears.
Jamie calms down.
"Can you… Will you…?" He sounds so vulnerable, not like Jamie at all but he knows what he's asking.
He swings his legs onto the cushions and shuffles down a bit until Jamie can lie on his chest, body between his legs. He wraps his arms around him.
When Jamie falls asleep he rings Tony and tells him quietly that he won't be in but he finds that Laura is helping him out front of house for the rest of the day and she can do tomorrow if needed. So at least he doesn't have to guilt trip himself over leaving Tony short staffed.
John knocks quietly and enters. One look at his tear stained his face and he knows that Jamie's Dad is dead as well.
"Jamie." He shakes him gently, it doesn't take him much to stir.
John steps in purposely shutting the door on Luke who must have been hovering.
"Jamie..." John starts but Jamie knows. Knew like Ste knew.
"Oh God no." Jamie breaks into choking sobs and all he can do is hold onto him as John strokes Jamie's back.
Author's note: I'm away with work for a week and I'm not sure I'm going to have much or any time to write. Worst comes to the worst the next update won't be until after the Bank Holiday. I had plans of where this would be knowing I would be away but I'm nowhere near. So here is a tease of where I was planning on being. And when this story gets there you'll realise how far off I am from my plans.
He stared, frozen to the spot. The room seemed to disappear. The noise of all the people's inane chatter slide away to nothing. He wished he could tear his eyes away but he couldn't. No way. Even if it was shredding his insides and tearing his heart into a thousand pieces. He was staring at his worst nightmare and can't look away for fear it wasn't real.