Pranks 26
Author's Note: Sorry I didn't update this for a while. I had to update my other stories, too. Someone asked where I get my ideas. Well, they come from all over. I assure you it's not easy thinking up new pranks for Anakin to do, especially for someone who never played a prank. Mainly I write ideas down when I get them and hope I can turn them into a prank. That's one reason I can often update this story so quickly: I already have ideas jotted down.
Anakin scratched at his arm furiously, a furtive blue eye watching for his Master. Obi-Wan would be very displeased if he caught him scratching on the numerous fleabites. The young Padawan was in the main cafeteria of the Jedi Temple; the large open room only partially filled with dour Jedi. All the Jedi seemed grumpy these days and who could blame them? Because of that bird the entire Temple had to be fumigated and that had caused all sorts of hassles. While the bug bombs went off and the Temple had filled with noxious fumes the Jedi and their Padawans had been forced to stay elsewhere for a few days. At first Anakin had thought he would enjoy the change of scenery but he hadn't. Instead he had been jam-packed into one of Coruscant's less popular hotels and had been forced to share a room with several of his male classmates. Worst, his fleabites kept bothering him even though they had been medicated. The other Padawans had bites as well and a few had shot accusing glances in his direction!
"It wasn't my fault!" Anakin muttered to himself. He cautiously sniffed the air in the cafeteria but not the slightest trace of the flea killing poison remained. Still, he had been exceedingly wary of using items that had been left in his bedroom while the bug bombs had been set off. He knew that the nasty chemicals had drifted through the air to settle on ALL of the items in the entire temple, as a bomb had been set in each room or corridor. He glanced down at his hands and wondered how many poisons were on his skin this very moment…
"I'll be lucky if I don't end up dead from all those bug bombs…" He frowned. Someone had really messed with him and he wish he knew who it had been. It was impossible for the bird to just wander accidentally inside the Temple. No, it had been a deliberate act of malice! But who would do such a thing? "Who ever it was, they're going to get it when I figure it out. I was too worried to even sleep in my own bed last night. The thing is probably a toxic waste dump now…"
Sighing, Anakin glanced at the chronometer on the wall. He had waited over a half hour and his Master still hadn't shown up. Bored and with his arm aching from too much scratching, he glanced over to see if anyone had picked up the special stick of chewing gum he had left on the table to rows over. No, it was still there. It was a very special gum, too and the boy wished someone would pick it up. "I could use a distraction."
The door to the cafeteria opened and a dignified looking Jedi entered. He had white hair and dark eyebrows, a very unusual trait. Anakin followed the man's progress across the room to the lunch counter where he got a drink and sandwich. Food in hand, he settled down at the table where the gum awaited an unsuspecting victim.
"It's Dooku." Anakin whispered to himself. The man was supposed to be an expert at Form Two sword fighting and had apparently taught himself from old records in the Archives. A slight smile crept across Anakin's lips. Dooku would be perfect for the gum prank! The man was always so serious and distinguished. Pretending he wasn't watching the older man, the boy stared across the room and watched the comings and goings at the lunch counter. Time seemed to drag even slower as the older Jedi ate his meal. Finally he seemed to be done and stood up to leave. Anakin's heart skipped a beat; sure the gum would be ignored. But the nobleman called the gum to his hand with the Force.
"Yes!" Anakin whispered to himself in glee.
Dooku read the wrapper on the gum. "Fresh Breath Gum, huh? I could use this as I have to see the dentist later today."
Unknown to Dooku, the gum was really FISH BREATH, rotten fish breath to be exact! Anakin snickered uncontrollably as the dignified Jedi unwrapped the gum and stuck it into his mouth. He started chewing as he returned his tray to the lunch counter and left the room. The gum had been specially engineered so it tasted completely normal; only the smell was changed. And the longer it was chewed the stronger the fish odor would become.
Face as serious as always, Dooku strolled down the long corridor of the Jedi Temple as he slowly made his way towards the dentist. His nose wrinkled slightly as an odd smell wafted past him. A door up ahead opened and Kit Fisto emerged into the hall. The odd smell grew stronger as Dooku chewed and he glared at Kit, sure the alien was the source of the stinky fish smell. Kit's face wrinkled as well as he passed the nobleman and he increased his pace until he was well past.
Oddly the smell only increased and Dooku began to think it hadn't been Kit Fisto at all. "Where is that awful stench coming from?"
The hallway intersected several others up ahead and Dooku moved into a more crowded part of the Temple. He chewed as he walked, his jaws working on the tasty gum some kind soul had left him. He had been sure the smell would have been left far behind by now but it only seemed to grow stronger! He spotted Shaak Ti up ahead and he smiled. He hurried up to her and smiled politely. "Excuse me, Shaak Ti, but do you smell something odd?"
Shaak Ti's red and white face turned slightly purple as the horrible odor of rotten fish drifted into her nose. "I do now."
"Well, where is it coming from?" Dooku stepped closer to her as a group of Younglings appeared in the hall and needed room to pass. His mouth hung slightly open and the stench increased.
Shaak Ti's dark eyes darted about desperately for escape, her striped montrals drooping. "I … I…"
"Yes?" Dooku asked.
"OOH, something really stinks around here!" one of the Younglings complained loudly as they passed Dooku.
"Yeah! It smells like rotten fish!" Another agreed.
The Younglings all glared at Dooku, accusation clear in their eyes.
Feeling the eyes glaring at his back, Dooku turned to face them. As soon as he did, Shaak Ti ran desperately for a nearby lift to escape the stinky human. Unaware of Shaak Ti's departure, Dooku stared back at the Younglings. "Are you suggesting that I am the source of the smell?"
The Younglings glanced nervously at each other. They knew Dooku was well respected in the Order and was highly prized for his unique talents with a lightsaber. It was wrong to insult a Master Jedi and telling him he stunk so bad it could be smelled all the way on Naboo would definitely be an insult. "No, Master Dooku!"
"I thought not. Now run along…" Dooku turned and continued his way down the long corridor.
As soon as Dooku was out of earshot the Younglings started to gossip about him and the various reasons why he smelled of rotten fish. The top consensus seemed to be that he was getting old and forgetful, thus he might have accidentally replaced his lightsaber with a fish and now it was stinking within the folds of his robe. The debate grew as new ideas were suggested and upon entering the cafeteria they all decided to have fish filet sandwiches.
A few moments later he crossed paths with Master Luminara Unduli and her Padawan, Barriss Offee. The two women conferred among themselves as they strolled, their heads close together. The moment they passed Dooku their eyes rolled up in their heads and they fell to the floor unconscious. Dooku, of course, hadn't noticed and so he continued on his way.
The Jedi Master passed more Jedi in the hall and they, too, fell unconscious to the floor. Dooku was leaving a big trail of Jedi bodies in his wake. His nose wrinkled again in disgust and his sharp eyes darted around the hallway. "Where is that smell coming from? I shall make a complaint!"
So Dooku moved to the nearest comm. on the wall and punched the appropriate button.
"You've reached the Jedi Council. Master Mace speaking."
"This is Dooku."
"How are you Dooku? I heard you just got back from an assignment."
"Yes, I did." Dooku agreed. "But I would like to report a rotten fish smell here in the corridor. It seems to be getting worst and I'm not sure where it's coming from."
"It's the Sith!" Mace exclaimed loudly and Dooku could hear loud groans from the other Council Members over the comm. "I'll get someone on it right away!"
Pleased he had done the proper thing, Dooku continued on his way to the dentist. Since the dentist was on another floor, he stopped before a lift and patiently waited. A moment later the door opened and he saw Obi-Wan. "Good day Master Kenobi."
The reek of rotten fish wafted out of Dooku's mouth and zipped right up Obi-Wan's poor nose. He gasped desperately for what little clean air remained in the lift. To his horror, Dooku joined him in the small, enclosed space and the doors closed before he could get off. Then it was too late, as the lift had started moving once more.
"Terrible, isn't it?" Dooku commented, as he stood within the lift next to Obi-Wan. "That smell, I mean."
Obi-Wan leaned against the lift's back wall, one hand clutching his throat as he wheezed noisily. Odd gurgling sounds emerged from his open mouth and he started to turn green.
"Don't worry, my friend. I already informed the Council." Dooku said.
Obi-Wan turned blue as bright spots danced before his eyes.
"Well, this is my stop. See you later." Dooku walked out of the lift unaware that Obi-Wan had passed out on the floor. He strolled into the dentist's waiting room and took a seat. The other Jedi there gave him odd glances, some glaring with open hostility at him. A few even covered their noses.
Dooku stared at them and shook his head sadly. The Jedi had no respect these days for their fellow members. Even the Younglings were insulting. As discreetly as possible, Dooku removed the chewing gum from his mouth and stuck it to the bottom of the plastic chair he was sitting on. Unknown to him, he had just guaranteed that the dentist's waiting room would smell like rotten fish for the next two weeks.
The dentist emerged from the back room. "Who's next?"
"HE IS!" The other Jedi all pointed at Dooku.
"Thank you." Dooku bowed politely to the other members of the Order and regally followed the dentist. Soon he was seated in the dreaded chair.
The dentist joined him in the room and sniffed the air, his lips curling downward in disgust. Someone really had bad breath! "Have you been using mouth wash as you should?"
"Yes, all the time." Dooku replied and opened his mouth wide for the dentist.
The dentist leaned forward fearfully. The smell hit him full blast and his eyes rolled up in his head. The next moment he collapsed onto the floor, unconscious.
Dooku sat in the chair, confused. Then it hit him. The man had suffered a heart attack! Leaping from his chair, he rushed to the comm. and called the hospital ward. And so Dooku continued to wreck havoc all over the Temple as what became known as Rotten Dooku Day.
To be continued…