Yes, it's an update. Try not to die of shock.

Disclaimer: Is this still necessary this far in? Probably. I own nothing.

Apologies, I'm not myself,
But I can guarantee,
That when I get back you won't believe,
That you knew me, well,
Don't want to think about it,
I'm fucking tired of getting sick about it,
Now stand back up and be a man about it,
And fight for something, fight for something, fight for something,
Oh no, I would make a better liar,
And never face the music when it's dire,
I breathe disaster, ever after,
Don't pull away from me now,
Don't you move,
Can't you stay where you are just for now,
I could be your perfect disaster,
You could be my ever after...
-Marianas Trench 'Ever After'

Dust danced in the air, visible only in the bit of early morning sunlight that slipped through the sliver of space between the blackout drapes that hung from the bedroom window. Austin Messer rolled over in her sleep, blindly reaching for her husband and frowning when his side of the bed came up cold and empty; it was enough to pull her from her slumber and she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she did. Her heart clenched in her chest. They were finally back on semi-solid ground and she hated to assume the worst but he wasn't in their bed before nine on their only mutual day off. Sighing and leaning back against the pillows that were stacked against the headboard, she kicked at the covers and crossed her arms over her chest. Then she realized there was noise coming from beyond their bedroom walls and it wasn't the click of Elvis' nails on the wooden floors but rather the scrape of metal on metal and her husband's voice quietly growling out the words to Nirvana's Come As You Are.

Climbing out of bed, the bit of spring chill that hung in the air sent a shiver down her spine and she plucked his Yankees hoodie from the bedpost, pulling it on as she made her way down the small hallway before she found him in the kitchen. He stood by the stove flipping pancakes and singing along with the 90s rock coming from his iPod; his jeans slipped low on his hips and the baseball shirt was old and tattered, a hold over from his days playing for Syracuse. She leaned against the doorway of the kitchen and tucked her hands into the kangaroo pouch of the hoodie as she watched him with a small smile on her face.

She loved him. Deeply. Of course she had for years; had loved him since she was five years old but there was something about watching him like that, completely unaware of his audience, that made her fall in love with him all over again. Pushing away from the wall, she slipped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulders as they swayed back and forth to Kurt Cobain's voice. He plucked an earbud from his own ear and placed it in her own before going back to the cooking, not complaining when she clung to his back as he moved – just leaning back ever so slightly into her touch. She kissed the three day scruff that was rough on the curve of his jaw and slipped her thumb inside the waistband of his jeans as they swayed. "I love you."

"I know," he promised. "Love you, Graceless."

He turned off the stove and she immediately maneuvered so she could pin him against the counter and pull him in for a long, hard kiss. Her fingers sunk into the short hair at the back of his head and she used the bit of purchase to tug him ever closer. In return, Danny nipped at her lower lip as his hands slipped under the back of the hoodie she had stolen. Sighing against his mouth, she pulled away just slightly. "You weren't there when I woke up."

"I was going to surprise you with this," he explained.

"What possessed you," she countered. "My husband does not get up before nine on his day off to make breakfast."

"I thought we could go for a ride on the bike later," he explained. "Get out of the city for a day."

"Sounds good."

Danny pulled away from her to fix their breakfast plates while she made her way to the coffee maker to start a fresh pot. These domestic moments were few and far between for the two of them; most days, if they were able to dine together, it was boxes of takeout on the living room floor and an action movie or the news on TV. Pulling down two mugs, she added several heaping teaspoons of sugar and a splash of creamer to his and then added just a dash of the creamer to her own mug as she waited for the coffee to percolate – it was the only kitchen chore that Danny really trusted her with, she had a tendency to burn water and was generally banned from the kitchen for the sake of neither of them ending up in the hospital. When there was enough coffee in the carafe for one mug, she quickly switched the carafe out for her own mug and then poured what was in the carafe into Danny's mug before handing it off to him. She removed her own mug and joined him at the dinner table where she curled her legs under her and perched on the chair like she often had as a teenager.

"Which way do you want to head," she asked as she took a bite of pancake.

"I was thinking north." Danny took a long pull from his mug. "Maybe head upstate for awhile?"

"As long as it don't end up like our trip to Florida," she teased.

"Hey," he countered. "We had an excellent time in Canada."

"That we did," she agreed with a laugh. "Maybe we should go to Canada again at some point."

"Give it a few more months," he suggested. "It's only April. They probably still have snow up to their necks."

"Fine." She paused and furrowed her brow. "Dude..."

"Dude?"

"It's our anniversary."

He barked out a laugh. "Shit. It is."

"We both forgot our first anniversary," she asked and then doubled over with laughter, her head coming to rest on the dinner table as her shoulders shook.

Danny joined in her laughter. "Apparently we did. How convenient that we both have the day off though."

"Lindsay and Flack probably set it up for us," she suggested. "Because really our best friends probably remembered our anniversary even if we didn't." They laughed even harder.

"We survived a whole year of being married to each other," he told her with a smile. "I think that's cause for celebration."

"Mmm," she hummed her agreement. "Perfect excuse to get on the bike and get the hell out of the city for the day."

"Hey." He reached over and pulled on her hand until she stumbled off her chair and onto his lap; his hand came up to brush the raven locks back from her face and over her shoulder. "Thanks for putting up with my sorry ass for the last few decades. There's nobody on this earth that I'd want to be married to more than I like being married to you."

"Me too," she told him. "You know they say that the first year of marriage is the hardest so it can only go up from here, right?"

"For sure," he told her. "We've had our fair share of crap. It's time for things to get easier."

"I love you, Demonic."

He laughed at the childhood nickname. "I love you more, Graceless."

It was early in the afternoon before they finally managed to get out the front door and pull the bike out of storage. Austin finished securing her long hair in a braid before she pulled on her helmet and made sure that her jeans were carefully tucked into her boots before she climbed onto the back of the Harley Roadster behind her husband. She slipped her arms around his waist and then slid forward so she was securely tucked in behind him. The motor rumbled to life between their thighs and Danny let it idle for a second before he pushed away from the curb and they were off, swerving through the busy city traffic and off toward the freeway that would lead them into upstate New York.

The drive was long and aimless; they stopped once at a little roadside gas station to use the bathroom but for the most part they just clung to each other, to the bike, and enjoyed the winding roads of New York state on the sunny spring day. A chill still clung in the air but the sun beat down on the dark leather of their jackets and Austin felt the warmth down to her bones as she smiled into her husband's shoulder. Being on the bike had been her favorite place since Danny had gotten it during his senior year of high school – even after he'd tried to each her how to drive it and she'd crashed, gotten road rash from her kneecap to her shoulder. There was nothing quite as freeing as flying down a vacant road on a motorcycle with nothing between you and the wind except for a few articles of clothing.

Danny pulled the bike off the paved road and onto an old dirt path, slowing his speed and following it around a gentle curve that gave way to a beautiful view of the Adirondacks as the the sun began to sink lower and lower into the sky. Lowering the kickstand, he let Austin climb off first and then followed suit as they moved to sit on the bit of grass that preceded a steep drop off. Austin, fearless as she always was, hung her legs over the edge of the eroded earth while Danny hung back just far enough that his knees were parallel with her hips, his hands anchoring her in case the earth below them gave way.

"It's beautiful up here," Austin told him as her fingers curled around his knee. "Maybe we should retire. Or we could transfer to some little tiny town sheriff's squad and live in a cabin with a view like this."

He smiled at the beautiful image. "Lovely as that sounds, you'd go nut in twenty-four hours without the city humming outside."

"Probably," she relented. "Still. It's a nice dream."

"A beautiful one," he agreed. "Austin. You know... You know that losing the baby wasn't your fault, right?"

"I-" She sighed and pushed a few fallen raven curls back from her face. "Logically, I understand that. I know that I didn't make it happen. But I was so hesitant. I was so afraid to be a mother. What if I wished it away? What if that was our only chance?"

"Hey," he interrupted her with a crooked finger under her chin. "It wasn't. Okay? Even if-" Danny took a deep breath. "Even if that was our only chance to have a baby of our own... We can adopt. We can foster. We can get a surrogate. There are options."

"Yeah." Austin scooted back from the edge and leaned against his side, her head dropping to his shoulder. "I scheduled an appointment with my doctor in a few weeks just to- just to make sure that I'm not incapable of having children of my own."

"That's a good idea," he told her. "I'll call my doctor too. We'll make sure there's nothing wrong on our end, okay? But if there is... We can still have babies."

"I know." She bit her lip hard. "I just... I didn't know I wanted to be a mother so badly until Aiden was taken from us."

"I know," he echoed. "You're going to be an excellent mother, Austin."

"You're going to be a great dad, Danny. Someday."

"Someday," he agreed.

They sat in silence for a long while; legs tangled together on the grass and leaning into each others sides as the sun turned a vibrant red as it slipped beyond the horizon. With just the slightest bit of light still lingering in the evening sky, they wordlessly moved from their spot and put their helmets back on for the ride back into the city. As Austin was securing the strap beneath her chin, Danny caught her hand and pulled her in for a kiss and she sunk into the embrace as her arms wrapped around his neck. She pulled away from the kiss with a smile on her face. "What do you say we get back to the city and order some Ray's then have some really, really good sex?"

He laughed, a smile matching hers on his own face. "I think I've got the best wife ever."

"I love you, moron," she told him as she pulled him in for another kiss. "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary, Graceless."