I was literally crying while writing this chapter it was really depressing. Anyway… I have begun to write another story but I won't post it until I feel confident with the story line… happy reading! Please leave a review with your thoughts :)

CH26 – It Will Never Stop Hurting

Gale POV

They stand there, her lips mounted on his, her hand on his bare chest and wrapped in his hair. I want to run; run from the painful image in front of me but my body is frozen so I'm trapped here staring at the girl I love, kissing another guy. I see Katniss stiffen a little as she notices me standing here watching her kiss Peeta, her eyes go quickly from happiness and excitement to dread and fear at the sight of me. Katniss opens her mouth to speak, but even from where I stand I can hear the choking noises she's making. Peeta swings his head around, confusion written on his face until he sees me. I see sadness and annoyance flash through his eyes but he shakes it off and looks back to Katniss.

"GALE!" she shouts at me and my body becomes live again. I take off running back into the tropics. And I can hear her sobs as I run through the gap between the palm trees. I thrash through the thick leaves and plants as I make my way deeper into the heart of the tropics. The air is humid and hot and I can feel my breathing become heavier. The dark, uninviting tropics consuming everything around me, my mind rushing faster than my feet. Every step I take leads me further away from the horrible nightmare that consumed my day but takes me closer to the dangers that lurk these jungles.

I run for what seems like hours, trying to escape reality and disappear into this dense evergreen mixture of trees and vicious animals. I finally stop when I come across a small water spring peeking out from the moist, muddy ground. I sigh and slump down in the dirt and slide my feet into the earthy water. My mind is still running, spinning with the images of Katniss and Peeta kissing and old memories with Katniss.

Annie warned me about this, those so many years ago. She told me that Katniss didn't think of me the way I thought of her. She saw me as I brother. I should have stopped my feelings when Annie told me this; I should have looked for someone else. But how could I when Katniss was always there? She was always in my life and I would never just be able to forget about her. I pick up a large rock from beside me and ditch it at the stump of a thick tree wrapped in vines.

"Why am I so stupid?!" I shout loudly. I stand to my feet quickly and head over to the tree that I just threw a rock at. I look at it for a few moments before I take a swing at it. Clutching my hand into a fist and punching it hard. The pain sears through my hand and up my arm. I shout in pain but continue to throw fierce punching at the tree.

"Fuck you!" I shout loudly as I punch the tree, releasing the anger that is pounding in my head. "Fuck everything!" I shout. "Fuck Peeta, fuck Katniss, fuck the world!" I shout as I continue to punch the tree, ignoring the agonising pain that is sending tremors through my body.

"Why!?" I shout as my punches become weaker and my eyes begin to fill with tears. "Why was I so fucking stupid" I say as I collapse at the base of the tree, my knees pulled to my chest and the tears flow. Through my blurred vision I see red on my knuckles. I wipe my eyes and examine my hands; they are cut deeply and blood is pouring out of them, they have bad bruises covering the knuckles and cuts along my palm from where my nails dug it from my tight grip. I put my head against the tree as the pain begins to return and I shout in pain. I think I might have broken my hand because the pain is so severe. I crawl back over to the small spring and wash the deeps cuts in the cooling water. Once they are cleaned up I go back to the base of the tree and slump down on the ground, the pain still overwhelming my body. The tears begin to flow again and the pictures of Katniss and Peeta kissing return but I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lip hard, drawing blood in an attempt to hold down my anger.

"You might wanna hold back on the lip biting, you're drawing blood" someone says and my eyes fly open and I see Johanna standing in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" I snap at her before groaning in pain.

"I was going hiking when I heard someone shouting; I quote 'fuck Peeta, fuck Katniss, fuck the world'. What did you do to your hands?" She asks and I glare at her narrowing my eyes.

"I was using a tree as a punching" I say squeezing my eyes shut again, as the pain continues to run through my body; making me light headed.

"So you were using a tree as a punching bag while shouting 'fuck Peeta, fuck Katniss, fuck the world'" Johanna asks raising an eyebrow at me. I look down at my damaged hands and sigh

"You watch the person you love get kissed then you will understand" I say quickly.

"I can one up you, I have had worse" Johanna says and I feel her slump down beside me.

"What can be worse than that?" I ask harshly, wishing she would leave me alone to endure my pain by myself.

"My life is a lot worse than that" Johanna says and I open my eyes to look at her. Johanna is staring at the dirt around her feet and I notice that her guard has faltered. I can see the pain slipping through her eyes, exposing the emotion that she locks away so safely. She looks up to me and I see sadness and loneliness overtaking her body.

"Try watching the person you love get sexually assaulted and then killed" she says solemnly and I freeze. I don't know if she actually said it or if the pain is making me imagine things. I open my mouth to say something but my mind can't conjure a reasonable sentence to respond to what she just said to me.

"I-I-I'm… I d-don't…. I'm sorry" I stutter as her eyes that are staring intently on me, glass over with tears. Her gaze on me doesn't falter as the tears begin to fall. After a few moments she finally looks away and quickly wipes her tears, sniffing a little and then repositioning herself in the dirt.

"Yeah well… now you can stop complaining about your heart break" She says firmly but I can still hear the pain and sadness edging her words. I clear my throat awkwardly.

"Yeah" I murmur. Johanna gets up from her spot next to me and my eyes dart to her.

"well I'm going to continue with my hike" she says, dusting her legs from dirt and then looks at me "you can umm… come with me if you want, otherwise you should head back to the beach, the others are worried and its pretty dangerous out here, especially with your hands" she says, indicating to the cuts and bruises. I watch her for a few moments as she shifts her weight and stares at me blankly and I begin to think she regretted telling me.

"You know I won't tell anyone" I say to her softly. Her eyes dart to the ground quickly and she shifts her weight again.

"Yeah, well you would be in shit if you did" she says and looks out into the trees around us; avoiding my gaze. I chuckle a little at her comment and continue to watch her but she denies me access to her eyes; darting them around our surroundings and never meeting mine.

"Talking can help" I say plainly and her eyes finally meet mine but they aren't filled with sadness or pain anymore but anger; fiery anger that pulls at her eyebrows and narrows her eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay!" she spits at me and I begin to feel hurt. "Just because I told you about it doesn't mean your now my fucking councillor! I've had enough of them to last a life time!" She shouts and I drop my gaze.

"Sorry… it's just… whatever, we going hiking or what" I say flatly, standing from the dirt and looking at her. She rolls her eyes and then turns and begins to stomp through the plants.

I had wanted to know more about Johanna, about what she hid behind her hard exterior, what pain she had experienced in her life. I wanted to know more about her. But I fear knowing more about her now. I fear how painful her past was. I fear what she has had to experience in such a short lifetime. I fear Johanna.