Twenty six: Bonus day
It was only supposed to be a short visit yet to Roland, it felt like an entirely long visit.
He hadn't visited Lorelei since the day she was buried. It wasn't his fault. The responsibility of being king had a lot of burdens.
Yet Miranda had convinced him to go for she was visiting her first husband, carrying a small bouquet Sofia had given her.
When the carriage had stopped, husband and wife had gone their separate ways as Roland bit his lip.
The light snow seemed to be inviting and some of the staff were assigned to clean Lorelei's grave when the time came for it but Roland was nervous.
Was he supposed to say anything or stay quiet? He didn't know before kneeling towards the grave.
Roland sighed softly. Grieving had gotten easier as the twins had aged yet there was always the tugging at his heart.
The tugging of why he couldn't have been more specific with his wish.
"I wish for Lorelei and I to have children."
Maybe being specific, like he had been when Sofia had been a cat, would've saved Lorelei.
But not having Miranda or Sofia in his life would be the consequence.
"Amber and James have grown. You wouldn't believe how much they remind me of you," Roland spoke, clearing his throat. "I'm sure you've noticed Miranda. She hasn't replaced you fully in my heart. However she's helped me when it's come to you except I'm not ready to tell the twins that you died giving them life. Maybe when they're old enough to understand why it happened. Lorelei, it hasn't been easy. I still remember when Amber was little and some of the princesses talked about their moms. She was used to not having one but I could see her glistening eyes fill with tears once she and James came home who just ran to play with his dog Rex who was only a puppy then. Amber ran to my legs and hugged them, wondering why she didn't have a mommy to which I had to explain that sometimes mommies go before daddies because they're special and she just took it. It was a lie but she was only five. I miss you so much Lorelei. Every birthday and every Wassailia has been difficult without you but somehow it gets easier. I wish I can say much more today but I can't. I love you."
He stepped away from the grave, wiping away a few tears before Miranda squeezed his hand.
She smiled softly at him, silently telling him that she heard most of what he had said before leading him to the carriage.